


strings, entangled

by SeekerSky143



Category: One Piece
Genre: Dating, Dating Reality TV, Living Together, M/M, Reality TV, basically ignore all the tagged relationships listed and come in for an adventure, more relationship tags to be added when [] enters the fray, people observing a bunch of idiots under one roof and guessing relationships from there
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-30
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:21:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 74,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26734264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SeekerSky143/pseuds/SeekerSky143
Summary: whereby the men of one piece join a dating reality tv show, and the women learn to decipher their love signals
Relationships: Coby/Monkey D. Luffy, Coby/Roronoa Zoro, Coby/Trafalgar D. Water Law, Coby/Vinsmoke Sanji, Eustass Kid/Coby, Eustass Kid/Monkey D. Luffy, Eustass Kid/Roronoa Zoro, Eustass Kid/Trafalgar D. Water Law, Eustass Kid/Vinsmoke Sanji, Monkey D. Luffy/Roronoa Zoro, Monkey D. Luffy/Trafalgar D. Water Law, Monkey D. Luffy/Vinsmoke Sanji, Roronoa Zoro/Trafalgar D. Water Law, Roronoa Zoro/Vinsmoke Sanji, Trafalgar D. Water Law/Vinsmoke Sanji
Comments: 131
Kudos: 194





	1. first meetings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is inspired by the korean reality tv show called heart signal, in which four men and four women live under the same roof while a group of panelists has to decipher their 'love signals' in order to guess love lines in between each character at the end of every episode. it is a little like terrace house, just with more structure.
> 
> of course, you don't have to know the reality tv show to watch this, and let's be clear: i have no idea who is going to end up with whom either. we'll see how it goes as this unfolds. also, since we are meant to be 'observers', there will be no descriptions of actual introspection in here (which is a challenge for me, since that is what i like to write most).
> 
> ++ this was churned out at midnight and immediately posted without editing. i also do not actually know what i'm doing. take a hefty dose of warning before proceeding.

**episode one: first meetings**

INT – TV STUDIO

“And it’s the new season of the Grand Line – a reality show where eight strangers live in the same house, and we have to guess their love lines at the end of each day!” Nami makes a little spin in her chair. “Last season sure was fun, wasn’t it, Robin?”

Robin quirks her lips upward, the gloss of her dark hair catching the light. “Indeed it was, though certainly you had the most fun with it, considering that you won the highest number of crystals back then.”

“Well, like I always say,” Nami flicks her hair a little, “you don’t ever want to bet against a weather woman. We _know_ what we’re talking about. And you didn’t fare too badly yourself, Robin! As an archaeologist and a cultural anthropologist, you know your way around analysing character relationships.”

“Hmph,” a voice comes from Nami’s other side. “Last season was easy. I could have won if I hadn’t missed the last episode.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Nami says, waving her hand dismissively. “Sure. The person who had only _one crystal remaining_ by the end of the penultimate episode could’ve _totally_ won right at the end. Didn’t you avoid the filming because you didn’t want to end up with nothing left?”

“I… how audacious! I demand you take those words back!” Boa Hancock rises from her seat as she points at Nami accusingly. “I’ll have you know that as the nation’s top model, you have no right to speak that way towards me!”

“This season we have three new panellists,” Nami continues, deliberately leaning over the desk to gesture towards a blue-haired lady. “Nefetari Vivi, our well-beloved politician whose people skills should help us with deciphering our character relationships –”

“Glad to be here,” Vivi makes a little wave with her fingers.

“—Vinsmoke Reiju, known for her stunning role in the Sora superhero series –”

Reiju gives a nod, her vibrant pink hair artfully tousled over one eye.

“—and Tashigi, who often graces our TV screens in police procedural shows and crime analysis scenes!”

“Hello everyone,” Tashigi rubs a clammy hand against her thigh, before nervously adjusting her spectacles.

“As always, there will be in total eight strangers who will come to live together in the Grand Line apartment, with two of them only coming in later during the show. At the end of each day, they will have to send an anonymous message to a person of their choice, and we will have to watch and analyse their reactions throughout the episode in order to guess where their love line might head towards.”

“This is really exciting,” Vivi comments, eyes wide and bright. “I’ve always loved watching this show! Though it always infuriated me when you make the wrong guesses – some of them are so obvious!”

“You might say that now, Nefetari-san,” Robin rests her chin in her palm, “but it is not as easy as it seems. People’s hearts are not all that easy to guess, even if we are observing them from afar.”

“And because of the nature of this program, it’s especially difficult to place who might end up together. Last season, the couples completely switched around _after_ that final date!” Nami agrees emphatically, and then casts Hancock a glance. “Though _someone_ seems to think she’d have been able to guess it, when she’s never been right before.”

“Excuse me?” Hancock nearly makes to stand from her seat again, but when Vivi rests a palm on her shoulder and gives her a placating pat, she sits herself back down. “I will prove it to you. This season, I shall be the one with the most crystals at the end!”

“Then, shall we begin?” Robin asks, and Nami nods.

“Alright, let the first episode of Grand Line begin now!”

INT – GRAND LINE APARTMENT

Falling leaves drift onto the ground, forming a bed on which a little cat snoozes. The path leading up to the apartment is empty, and in the backdrop, a mountain rises from the horizon.

A car slowly grunts its way up a steep hill. It is sleek and black, and the driver pulls into the driveway.

At the threshold of the apartment, dress shoes glow in the embers of the setting light. A gloved hand wraps around the door handle and pushes it down, and then the door opens inwards without a sound.

The living space pools wide and bright, with cream-coloured walls and tall windows that surround an interior garden right in the middle of the room. A long sofa stretches out, adorned with fluffy cushions, while a sleek coffee table sits in front of it.

The person slips his shoes off, and then stares at the array of home slippers lined up at the doorway.

 _“Ooh, the first big choice,”_ Nami coos. _“Will he choose the grey slippers, or the black ones?”_

The man doesn’t hesitate. He slips into a pair of grey slippers and marches in, dragging his suitcase behind of him. He parks his luggage by the side of a long staircase, and then makes his way to the sofa and plops down on it.

Magazines fan out on the surface of the coffee table, and he leans over them, skimming through their titles. His fingers rest against the edge of the table, still gloved.

 _“I wonder why he doesn’t take off his gloves?”_ Vivi questions. Robin makes a low chuckle.

_“Perhaps his hands have been grotesquely burnt in a freak fire.”_

_“Or he has a missing finger,”_ Reiju adds.

 _“I want to see his face!”_ Hancock’s voice is hard and demanding. _“How can we know how to judge him without a face?”_

None of the magazines seem to interest him, however, and he cranes his neck to regard his surroundings. It is only then that his face is finally revealed.

His hair is dark and tousled, slightly wavy. Gold earrings adorn each ear, while a light goatee shapes his jaw and the sides of his face.

Heavy bags shadow his eyes, and as he finally removes his gloves and stuffs them into the pocket of his black hoodie, the tattoos over his fingers are stark even against his dark skin.

 _“Ooh,”_ Nami smiles. _“Tattoos.”_

 _“What is written on it?”_ Tashigi frowns, _“D… Death?”_

 _“Ah, how fascinating,”_ comes Robin’s comment.

As the man glances around the room with detached interest, another car pulls up the driveway. Already, he seems completely different from the lanky person from before – his silhouette is broad and stocky, muscular arms nearly bulging out his leather jacket as he makes quick work of the pathway up to the apartment. Lifting his luggage up the steps with ease, he grabs onto the door handle and pushes it down.

The tattooed man looks over to the door just as it opens, revealing a man with glaring red hair styled high and spikey above his head. The sun spills into the living room from behind of him, casting a halo over his features. As the door shuts behind him, his lip ring catches the light.

 _“Wow,”_ Vivi inhales. _“Tattoos_ and _lip ring? Don’t the two of them seem compatible already?”_

 _“You jump to conclusions, Nerfetari-san,”_ Robin’s tone is patient, but amused. _“You can never tell for sure.”_

The red-haired man doesn’t seem to have noticed the other man’s presence as he throws his boots onto the ground and shoves his feet into the black slippers. As he scans the room, his gaze zeroes in on the lone luggage settled by the side of the staircase, and then his stare flickers over to the other man’s form on the sofa.

“Yo,” he greets, striding into the apartment to dump his luggage beside the other man’s, before moving towards the sofa. “You the first one here?”

“Yeah,” the tattooed man answers, not rising from his seat. He tilts his head slightly at the redhead. “You are?”

“Eustass Kidd,” the redhead says, looking around the apartment. “Huh. Not a bad place. The high ceilings make it look fancy as shit.”

“I’m Trafalgar Law,” the other man says, but doesn’t offer anything else. The redhead peers through the large windows, and then pulls a face.

“Look at that tiny ass garden. What do they think we are?” And then he cranes his head to look up the staircase. “There’s nothing else here. Kitchen and rooms are probably all upstairs, huh? You took a look yet?”

“No,” Law says.

“Wanna go up?”

Just as he says that, the door opens once again. This time, the light floods in so quickly that it’s impossible to see the newcomer come in, and the newcomer neatly sets his shoes by the side before slipping into the grey house slippers.

“Do I put my luggage there?” he asks, voice smooth.

“Yeah,” Law says, even as the newcomer heads straight to the staircase. The newcomer moves up to the window, where Kidd stands, and then nods his head at Kidd, and then Law.

“I’m Sanji,” he says. His blond hair, though neatly styled to hide one eye, looks soft enough to touch. A suit fits comfortable on his tall, lanky frame; and it is only at this moment that Law makes to stand.

“Trafalgar Law,” he says, then juts his chin at the redhead. “Eustass Kidd.”

“Nice to meet you,” Sanji offers, and looks through the windows. “It looks like they have planted some herbs in that garden.”

“Really?” Kidd snorts. “Looks like a bunch of leaves to me.”

“You’ll be surprised,” Sanji mutters under his breath. He takes a tentative glance upstairs. “Have you been upstairs yet?”

“No,” Law says. “Thought we should wait till everyone’s here before checking it out.”

“Yeah,” Kidd plops himself down onto the sofa. “Might as well.”

A long silence descends for a moment, until sounds of scuffling break the tension. It goes on for a few seconds, and Sanji glances at the door.

“Sounds like someone’s having trouble.” He takes a step forward, when a ‘ _thud_ ’ breaks his pace. And then the door shoves open, almost as though someone is heaving at it with his entire weight.

A head of light pink pops into view, and then the person drags his luggage into the apartment and lets the door fall shut. Still, despite his fatigue, he undoes his shoes and sets it neatly beside Sanji’s and picks the black slippers almost without regard. When he raises his head, his jaw falls open at the sight of Sanji, and then his eyes slide over to Kidd and Law.

“Um… hi. Sorry about the noise. I… had to climb up the hill. I don’t have a car.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Sanji says, and then nods at the luggage. “Need some help with that?”

“No – no! Now that I’m back on flat ground, I’m good. Thanks.” He rolls the luggage to the side of the staircase, and then looks back up at the rest of them. “Oh right. Um. I’m Coby, by the way.”

“Sanji,” Sanji says.

“Trafalgar Law,” Law greets.

“Kidd,” Kidd nods.

“Ah. Those are all really, um… nice names. Have you waited for long?”

“Nah,” Kidd answers. “We barely get to talk and the next person comes crashing in.”

“Oh,” Coby’s gaze flickers, and then he lowers his head. “Once again, I’m sorry about that. Didn’t mean to. Did you all come by cars?”

“Motorbike,” Kidd says, while Law nods and Sanji shakes his head.

“Took the bus,” Sanji says. “But I do a lot of hiking. The climb doesn’t bother me.”

“Ah, I guess I’ll need to learn from you,” the pink-haired man chuckles. “I foresee a lot of climbing in my future, and I’m not used to, well, climbing. It’s also pretty high up, isn’t it? We have the mountain just in our backyard.”

“Yeah,” Sanji acknowledges. “Can’t wait to take my jogs up there. The scenery should be amazing in the mornings.”

“I could come with,” Law says, his voice so low that they nearly miss it. “I jog in the mornings too.”

“Do you have to get up early or something?” Coby probes. “Oh, wait… we’re not supposed to ask about jobs or ages yet, are we?”

“No, we aren’t,” the blond leans against the railing of the staircase, “but with regards to your question, yeah. I need to wake up early for work.”

“Jogging, huh?” Kidd raises his brows. “Hope they have a gym or fitness room around here. Everything looks so rich and fancy, there should be one.”

Heavy footsteps echo from the driveway, and they spin to stare at the door as it slams open. The person shoves his boots off, shrugs into a pair of black ones, and then regards them all with a level stare with his duffel bag slung over one shoulder.

“Everyone’s here already, huh?” he says. He rubs his hand over the back of his head, mussing up his green hair even more. “I’m Zoro. Roronoa Zoro.”

“There should still be one more left,” Sanji offers. His gaze shifts to the sole duffel bag propped up against his shoulder. “You only brought a duffel?”

“Huh?” the green-haired man looks where Sanji’s standing, by the line of suitcases. “I don’t have that much stuff to bring. Who’s left?”

Right at that moment, the door flings open so violently, their heads snap over to the doorway in a second. A man bounds in through the threshold and leaves his flip-flops behind as he takes the last remaining pair of grey slippers.

A couple of fallen leaves are stuck in his head of unruly black hair, and a wide grin blossoms on his face as he stares at everyone. “Ah, so everyone’s here already! Hi, I’m Monkey D. Luffy! _Whoa_ , that hill sure was steep, huh? I’m hungry! Has everyone eaten yet? What shall we do for dinner?”

The man – who also ostentatiously has a straw hat hung around his neck – only has with him a backpack. He stares up at Zoro’s green hair, and his eyes widen.

“Ooh! Your green hair is cool!” And then he bounces into the room and glances at everybody else. “And you have pink hair! And _you_ have red hair! And blond! You guys sure are cool, huh?”

“I… guess?” Coby gives a timid smile. “Shall we all head upstairs now?”

They gather their belongings and head up the stairs. Luffy is pointing out everything he sees with unbridled enthusiasm, _ooh_ -ing at the beanbags and fluffy cushions at the second-storey living room and laughing at a plant which, in his words, resemble an octopus.

“Look at those leaves curling up at the ends! They look like tentacles! Ooh, tentacles. I like seasoned tentacles. Or takoyaki!”

“I like takoyaki too,” Coby answers politely, while Sanji drifts off into the kitchen and Kidd finds the indoor gym.

“Their highest is 20-pound weights,” Zoro comments, and Kidd snorts.

“I could do that in my sleep. We need to get proper weights in here.”

“There are two rooms,” Law says as he climbs up to the third storey. “Four beds in each. Should we split up, three by three?”

“Sounds good!” Luffy chirps, clambering onto the first bed he sees in the room just across from the stairwell. It is the bed right by the door, and bounces on it for a bit. “It’s great! Bouncy enough to be a trampoline.”

Law curls his lips, instantly backtracking and heading to the other room to the right of the stairwell. He picks the bed right by the window, and sets his luggage at the foot of the bed.

Coby drags his things to the middle bed right beside Luffy’s. “Could I take this bed here?” he asks, and Luffy grins.

“Sure! This means we are roommates, right? That’s great! We are going to have so many adventures together!”

Meanwhile, Sanji checks out the room to the right of the stairwell first, and then glances across the hallway to the other room. He opts to pick the room where Law’s situated himself in, and chooses a bed by the wall, facing the door.

Kidd and Zoro finally wander up the stairs, still discussing about weights and fitness equipment. At the one remaining bed left in both rooms, they split – with Zoro heading to the right and Kidd heading forward.

“That’s right! What’s your name?” Luffy asks, letting his head hang upside-down as he drapes his body over his bed.

“Coby,” Coby answers, when Kidd enters. Kidd stares at Luffy, who gives him a wide upside-down grin, and then takes the bed furthest away from the straw-hat man.

“How about you?” Luffy asks, his head still hovering in mid-air.

“Kidd,” Kidd grunts. “Eustass Kidd.”

“Hm…” Luffy scrunches his brows together. “I’m going to call you Jaggy instead. Like your hair. Jaggy.”

“What? Don’t make up stupid nicknames like that!” Kidd growls, throwing his luggage onto the floor. “Call me Kidd!”

“Jaggy!”

“You dumbass –”

“Now, now, let’s not get into an argument already,” Coby tries to step between them, while Luffy laughs.

“You’d better watch it,” Kidd warns and storms out the room.

“Shall we head outside to get to know the rest?” Coby tries, his gaze trailing behind Kidd’s form. “And uh, maybe you should call him by his name.”

“Why? He’s Jaggy,” Luffy proclaims. “Yeah! Let’s go meet the rest!”

Luffy and Coby peek into the next room, but no one is inside. They head down the stairs, where Law and Sanji are in the kitchen and Kidd sits at the head of the dining table, his right feet propped up on his left thigh.

“We don’t have much for now,” Sanji muses, “but I can whip something up quick, if you are hungry?”

“I’m fine –” Law begins, when Luffy comes crashing into the kitchen.

“I’m hungry!” he exclaims. “What are you gonna make?”

“A beef bowl, probably,” Sanji answers, taking quick stock of the ingredients they have at hand. “We have beef, carrots, onions… some rice… eggs… we could do a beef bowl.”

“Then a beef bowl it is!”

Law frowns, turning his back to Luffy as he helps Sanji gather the ingredients. “Do you need help?”

“Not exactly… well, you could do the rice if you want.”

“You do a lot of cooking?” Law asks casually as he scoops rice into the rice cooker. “You seem confident.”

“Yeah,” Sanji answers, peeling the carrots with almost absurd ease. “I like to cook. Since young, actually.”

“Ooh, you’re good at that!” Luffy peers around Sanji’s shoulders, where he already has put aside a bowl of sliced carrots and has now moved on to the onions. “I can’t wait!”

“Then wait at the dining table,” Sanji prods at Luffy’s approaching forehead with a finger. “If you’re not helping, don’t stay at the kitchen.”

“How long will it take?” Luffy questions, and Sanji lets out a sigh.

“The longer you distract me, the longer it will take.” When Luffy shoves his head once again towards the cutting board, Sanji takes a side step and moves the cutting board away. “Half an hour, if you behave.”

“Okay!” Luffy says, and then bounces off to the living area adjacent to the dining table, screaming something that sounds like _Jaggy_ as he does.

A low exhale escapes Law’s lips. “He really is… something, huh?”

Sanji’s lips quirk upward, and he tosses a glance at Law. “I saw you backtrack the moment Luffy claimed the other room. Probably not a good sign that he’s already getting on your nerves?”

“He’s too… energetic. Too loud.” Law shakes his head. “I wonder how old he is. He doesn’t seem like he could be any older than 18.”

“He might just be the youngest person here,” Sanji accedes, moving to the stove as Law flips the switch to cook the rice. “You, me, and… that mosshead – what’s his name again?”

Law smirks. “Zoro, I believe. Roronoa Zoro. You’re making up nicknames for people already?”

“It’s the first day,” Sanji shrugs. “It’s not easy to remember a bunch of names at the get go.”

“Do you remember mine?”

“Law,” Sanji responds. “Trafalgar Law, right?”

“I’m surprised. And you are… Sanji, I presume.”

“Yeah,” the blond says, heating the oil on a saucepan. “You, me, and… Zoro. We seem like people who know how to appreciate the silence. I pity that other guy – Kidd, I think? – who has to put up with Luffy. He already seems put out.”

Sanji jerks his head in the direction of the living area, where Luffy has somehow pulled Kidd, Zoro, and Coby into playing a game of Jenga. Kidd leans into the corner of the sofa, a scowl seemingly affixed onto his face as Luffy jumps up and down beside him, trying to distract Coby as he considers the leaning tower.

“Can’t believe we’ll be staying here for a month,” Law shakes his head. “It’s surreal, to be honest, to be here. Right now.”

“Yeah,” Sanji agrees. “My dad nearly laughed his throat out when I told him I was doing this. But then again, new experiences, right? Seems like it could be fun too, I don’t know.”

“ _Ahhhhh!”_ Coby’s wail escapes into the kitchen as the tower topples over his hand. Luffy guffaws, slapping at a pillow with his hand, while Zoro grins. Kidd smirks a little, but then snarls at Luffy when his stray hand accidentally slaps Kidd’s shoulder.

“Sorry, sorry!” Luffy says, looking entirely unapologetic. “Again!”

“What are they cooking?” Zoro asks, and Luffy presses his lips together.

“Hmm…. Beef bowl, I think. I can’t wait! It smells amazing already!” And then Luffy turns to the kitchen. “Hey, uh… uh… what’s his name again?”

“Sanji,” Coby pipes up.

“Sanji! Is the food going to be ready soon?”

“It’s only been ten minutes,” Sanji returns. “Just play your game and we’ll call you when it’s done, you shithead!”

“Thanks, Sanji! And uh… what’s the other guy’s name?”

“Trafalgar Law,” Coby supplies once again.

“Traf… Trafal… Trafao… Torao? Torao! Thanks, Torao!”

“What did he just call me?” Law’s hand freezes at the sink as he slowly turns to the living room. “What did he just refer to me as?”

Sanji chuckles, but then hastily rearranges his smile into a neutral expression when Law’s eyes narrow at him. “Torao, I think.”

“ _Torao_ ,” Zoro repeats, grinning wide. “Torao and Jaggy.”

“Do _not_ ever call me that, you hear me?” Kidd slices a glare in Zoro’s direction, but Zoro merely waves it away.

“Let it be. Doesn’t seem like he’s going to stop using it anytime soon,” he says.

The game continues for one more round, until Sanji calls them in for dinner. Luffy rushes up to the table and pounces in the first seat, right by the kitchen.

“This looks great! Thanks, Sanji! Thanks, Torao!” he says, staring at the bowl placed in front of him.

“Anyone wants anything? Water?” Coby asks, walking up to the water dispenser.

“I’ll have some,” Sanji says, while Kidd makes his way over to the fridge to retrieve a can of Coke.

“Got any booze?” Zoro asks.

“Yeah,” Kidd says, picking out a can of beer for Zoro just as Law walks over to the dining table with a steaming cup of black coffee in hand. Zoro is seated beside Luffy, while Sanji settles down across from the straw-hat boy.

Law opts to take the seat furthest away, right at the other end of the table. Coby returns with his glass of water and sits himself in-between Law and Sanji, while Kidd sits across from Law beside Zoro.

“Let’s eat! _Itadakimasu_!” Luffy says, holding his chopsticks up in the air before digging in – literally. Granules of rice fly out from his bowl as he tips it over to his mouth and begin shovelling food into his mouth.

“Don’t waste food!” Sanji snaps, and Luffy stops only for a second to reply:

“I won’t!” before picking at the rice grains with his chopsticks and throwing them into his open mouth.

“So… Zoro,” Coby tries, and Zoro looks up from his bowl. “Why did you think of joining this program?”

“Friends forced me into it,” he answers. “Signed me up before I even knew what was happening. Couldn’t back out of it, so here I am.”

“Exactly the same,” Kidd says. “My stupid friend from high school did it as a joke. He didn’t think I’d go for it, but then I thought, fine then. Screw you. Not a joke anymore if I’m actually here doing it, huh?”

“My friends thought I was too shy,” Coby offers. “And that if I went on like this any longer, I would remain single for the rest of my life. Which could be true, I guess,” he smiles. “And I don’t usually do things like this… putting myself out there… taking a step forward… so I thought I should give it a go, at least.”

“That’s cool,” Kidd answers. Coby’s head jolts up, almost in surprise. “Better than those cowards who go around preaching to others but don’t dare to do anything themselves.”

“T-thanks…”

“How about you?” Zoro says, glancing up at Law. “How’d you get to this place?”

“Similar reasons to all of you,” he answers, slowly twirling his coffee around as he lifts his cup. “My friends badgered me into it. Though I guess the real reason was my dad. He didn’t like that I was always buried in my work, and I didn’t want to worry him. He saw the advert for this program and showed it to me, and I figured, why not? Might as well make him happy.”

“The old geezer was always worried about me too,” Sanji pipes up from the other end. “So, it was partly for him, partly for myself.”

“I just thought this looked fun!” Luffy says, setting his bowl down with a flourish. “Do we have extras?”

“Yeah, we do,” Sanji says, and Luffy bolts out of his chair almost instantaneously, rushing to the stovetop to shovel the rest of the beef into his bowl.

It is only when he has once again settled back down into his seat, a spoon already on its way to his mouth, that he looks up. “I can finish it all, right?”

“Uh… yeah, I don’t need seconds,” Coby answers, while Zoro says, “Yeah, yeah.”

“Cool!” Luffy says, and then stuffs his face into his bowl once again.

“I hope this one month would be fun,” Coby says. “I heard that there would be two new people joining us midway through the month, though? I wonder how that’ll be like.”

“Halfway through the program?” Sanji asks, and Coby bobs his head.

“Yeah. That might be weird… I don’t know.”

“That’ll be exciting,” Kidd grins over the rim of his coke. “They’re probably there to spice things up. Shake up the established dynamics.”

“Maybe,” Law says, “it’s to give hope for those who haven’t found anyone they liked out of the six of us.”

“I would hate to be one of them,” Sanji considers.

“What’s the point of thinking about them now?” Zoro says, downing his beer in one gulp. “They’re gonna come when they come. Doesn’t matter now.”

“Yeah,” Luffy agrees after he’s licked the rest of his bowl clean. “Can’t wait to meet them, but we don’t need to worry about it now! Wanna play another game of Jenga?”

“I’m going to head up,” Law says. “Need to unpack and shower.”

“I’ll wash up here first –” Sanji begins, when Coby cuts him.

“I’ll do it, Sanji-san.” He rises up and begins gathering the dishes. “It’s not fair for you to clean up when you’ve already cooked.”

Luffy’s already sunken into one of the larger bean bags, with Zoro halfway behind him. Kidd stares at the two of them, and then rolls his eyes.

“Fine. I’ll help out too,” he says, throwing his can into the nearest bin.

“Thanks,” Sanji says. “I’m going to head up too. It’s been a long day.”

“Bye!” Luffy waves as Law and Sanji make their way upstairs.

Eventually, they all head back to their respective rooms. They lounge about on their beds with their phones in hand, the dark sky barely lit with stars.

INT – TV STUDIO

  
“So, that makes up the first day in the apartment!” Nami rests her palms on the desk. “They’ve interacted quite a lot with one another for a first day, haven’t they?”

“There are some friendly personalities in there,” Vivi agrees. “Though I already foresee some difficulties in the coming days.”

“Law doesn’t seem to like Luffy too much indeed,” Robin tilts her head at her notebook. “Did you see how he immediately turned his back on Luffy when Luffy entered the kitchen?”

“Let’s not forget how he quickly escaped into the other bedroom once Luffy made his pick,” Reiju says, playing with her pen. “They seem to have very different personalities.”

“Did you notice Law’s initial reaction to Sanji, though?” Tashigi pipes up, flipping the pages of her notebook. “He didn’t give much of a reaction when Kidd first entered, but when Sanji entered, Law stood up from his seat.”

“That was an obvious signal,” Hancock flips her hair. “But you evidently didn’t notice Coby’s.”

“Coby’s? To whom?” Tashigi says, quick to bite the bait, and Hancock smirks.

“Of course, you didn’t notice it! When Sanji said that he went out for jogs often, Coby implied that Sanji and him should go together, some time. But you didn’t notice that because Coby was immediately overshadowed by Law, who explicitly told Sanji that they could go together.”

“I want to say that you’re judging too hastily, but let’s be real. Law didn’t really make an attempt to talk to anyone other than Sanji, so I think the signal there is clear.” Nami waves her hand, “And vice versa, Sanji only joined in the conversation at the dining table after Law had responded. Since those two guys are easy, let’s shift gears: what do you think about Coby?”

“Coby?” Vivi purses her lips. “I don’t know. He seems friendly to everyone. Though maybe, like what Hancock said, his initial attraction was towards Sanji…”

“It could have changed after he saw the way Sanji and Law interacted,” Robin adds. “Afterwards, he seems closer to Luffy. It could be argued, however, that he is the only one ready to put up with Luffy’s immediate friendliness.”

“Don’t forget about Zoro,” Reiju answers. “He seems to get along pretty well with Luffy as well. Luffy and Kidd – from the way the two were bonding over fitness.”

“There are always _those_ guys,” Nami rolls her eyes, and Robin chuckles.

“And then we have Kidd,” Tashigi taps her pen on the table. “He isn’t a big fan of Luffy too, especially with that new nickname, though he _did_ relent to playing a game of Jenga with the rest of them.”

“Kidd would probably go for Zoro,” Hancock says. Nami immediately shakes her head and holds out a hand.

“Just because they’re like-minded doesn’t mean he’ll go for him.”

“But you have to remember that this _is_ their first meeting. If you don’t really know anyone, chances are you’ll either pick the person who was friendliest to you – in which case might be Luffy, but we all know that Kidd wouldn’t pick him – or someone who you connected to the easiest – which would be Zoro.” Vivi says.

“Coby was pretty friendly towards him too,” Tashigi replies. “I guess he hasn’t really interacted with Law or Sanji.”

“Alright, so what we have to do right now is to guess their love lines. Who is going to send a message to whom? This is a group mission this time, so we all have to agree on our guesses and if we are correct, we’ll each get a crystal. Let’s start with the first person: Law,” Nami points at the board. “I think this one should be obvious.”

“Sanji?” Vivi suggests, and Nami nods.

“Everyone for Sanji?” Nami asks, and they all nod their heads. “Alright then, Sanji it is.” She picks out a marker and draws an arrow from Law to Sanji.

“Kidd,” Robin says, pointing out the next in line. “He would likely send a message to Zoro, the person who he can relate to the most. Do you agree?”

“Yeah,” Nami answers. “It’d be Zoro.”

“Who knows?” Reiju tilts a smile. “He might have enjoyed the new nickname Luffy had given to him. Maybe thought it endearing, even.”

“Ha. You are thinking too far!” Hancock admonishes. “Maybe sometime in the future, after prolonged interaction, but not right at the beginning.”

“It’d be between Coby and Zoro,” Vivi agrees. “Since they were all playing Jenga together at the table.”

“I think it’d be Zoro,” Tashigi says, and Vivi makes a hum of agreement.

“Alright, so Zoro, everyone?” Nami asks, and when they nod, she draws an arrow from Kidd to Zoro. “Next up… Sanji. Sanji’s should be pretty straightforward too, shouldn’t it?”

“Law,” Vivi asserts, with everyone else nodding along. Nami draws an arrow from Sanji back to Law.

“Coby,” Nami says.

“Luffy might be the obvious choice…” Tashigi frowns. “Though we cannot ignore the fact that he _had_ , as Hancock had observed, initially made the move on Sanji. Will he really have just ignored all that because Law had stepped in?”

“It was right at the get-go, though,” Vivi considers. “But some people do take first impressions very heavily into account, so if Coby’s one of those people, then he’d go for Sanji.”

“Let’s think back to the subsequent interactions, though,” Nami plants both hands on the table. “He was obviously more comfortable with Luffy, and like we’ve said before, on the first day, you’d most likely message the person you were the most comfortable with. He was friendly with everyone, but I think Luffy made him feel the most welcome. He’ll message Luffy.”

“I would like to remind all of you,” Robin rests her chin in her palm and tilts her head, “about what Kidd had said in response to Coby.”

“What did he say?” Tashigi sifts through her notebook. “I don’t think I recorded it.”

“In essence, he had communicated to Coby that he found it far more admirable that Coby had joined this program of his own volition, compared to other cowards who would have done anything about it. I would think that such compliments – especially from someone who doesn’t look like he’d give them out so easily – would certainly remain at the forefront of Coby’s mind. He might send Kidd a message just to thank him.”

“You make sense…” Nami taps her finger against the board. “But that’s assuming that Kidd’s one offhand comment would overshadow all his prior interactions with Luffy thus far.”

“Certainly,” Robin accedes.

“It makes sense, but I still think that the first person someone would message on the first episode would be the one who made him feel the most welcome, and that will be Luffy,” Vivi states. “So, I’m putting my bet on Luffy.”

“Why is it so difficult from the get-go?” Tashigi whines a little, rubbing at her nose bridge. “Alright, I’m going with Luffy as well.”

“Luffy it is,” Nami announces, drawing an arrow from Coby to Luffy. “Next we have… Zoro!”

“I am guessing Luffy,” Reiju says. “Kidd might have no one other than Zoro to message, but Zoro at the very least seemed amused by Luffy’s nicknames.”

“They seem to click pretty well,” Vivi agrees.

“How about Coby though? He had been playing the game with them,” Hancock points out.

“It doesn’t feel like Coby,” Nami answers. “I think it’s Luffy too. Luffy, then?” She gestures around the table, and at the lack of opposition, she draws an arrow from Zoro to Luffy. “Luffy it is.”

“Luffy,” Vivi says. “I can’t really tell with him. He just seems… outgoing. Friendly to all.”

“Maybe Sanji,” Nami quirks a smile. “He enjoyed his food a lot.”

“If we follow the thread from Coby to Luffy, it could be the same from Luffy to Coby. They might choose each other just because they interacted with one another the most,” Tashigi says. “Coby decided on the bed right beside Luffy’s, and Coby was the first person to introduce himself to Luffy.”

“If you simply consider the fact that Luffy can’t really seem to remember names, maybe he’d just go with Coby, since Coby’s the first name he remembers.” Reiju offers. “He might not be able to find Kidd or Law’s name, because he doesn’t remember their names as what they are.”

Vivi chuckles, and Nami smirks. “True.”

“Back to Zoro, then,” Hancock pipes up. “He could easily choose Zoro as well. Zoro was the first one he had noticed, with his green hair and all. Really, what is _up_ with this season’s contestants and their hair colours?”

“So… we’re between Zoro and Coby. Who’s for Zoro?” Nami asks.

Hancock raises her hand.

“And Coby?”

The rest lift their hands.

Hancock lets out a breath, and then folds her arms across her chest. “Fine. We can go with Coby then!”

Nami draws an arrow from Luffy to Coby. “Alright now, let’s check our answers to see if they are right! First off, let’s reveal Law’s!”

**.**

**.**

**.**

**Law >>> Sanji**

“Well, that was the easy one,” Nami says.

“If it weren’t Sanji, we’d have all been completely confused,” Vivi agrees.

“Alright then, now… shall we go for Sanji? Let’s reveal Sanji’s!”

.

.

.

**Sanji >>> Law**

“Yes!” Nami pumps her left hand in the air as she draws a tick beside Sanji’s name. “Next up… who shall we go for? Who are you the most confident of?”

“Shall we try Kidd?” Vivi suggests.

“Kidd… to Zoro, yes? I think we could try Kidd,” Tashigi agrees.

“Kidd it is. Let’s see who Kidd has messaged!”

.

.

.

**Kidd >>> Zoro**

“There could be no one else,” Nami grins.

“Let’s go for… Zoro next,” Vivi suggests, and Nami gives a thumbs-up.

“Let’s see Zoro’s!”

.

.

.

**Zoro >>> Luffy**

“Four for four so far!” Vivi grins. “We are close to obtaining the crystal!”

“You should not say that so soon,” Robin warns with a genial smile. “Things tend to the opposite when we say them aloud.”

“Shall we go for Luffy next?” Nami suggests.

“No! I mean… um…” Tashigi squints at the board. “Are we certain of Luffy’s? Or should we try Coby’s first?”

“Let’s go with Luffy,” Nami asserts. “Who did Luffy message?”

.

.

.

**Luffy > Coby**

“Alright!” Vivi grins, and Nami laughs.

“Hmph,” Hancock says. “Though it’s very well that we got it right.”

“Finally, we have… Coby!” Nami mimes a drum roll. “Who… could… it… be?”

.

.

.

**Coby > Kidd**

“Wait, what?” Nami drops the marker. “Kidd? Since when did they –”

“Someone mentioned Kidd as an option…” Vivi bites her lower lip. “Ah yes, Robin. Robin suggested Kidd.”

“Compliments, especially from a near stranger, could be quite memorable,” Robin answers, her gaze trailing towards the box of crystals set in the middle of the table. “Though it is unfortunate that we won’t be able to get our crystals on the first day.”

“It sets an unfortunate precedent indeed,” Reiju agrees.

“Don’t be so pessimistic! It’s just the first day,” Nami says, picking the marker up and capping it. “We’re only going to go uphill from here.”

“I really should have taken more notes,” Tashigi sighs. “But I suppose now we have a better hang of things and each of their personalities.”

“The next day, they are going to be able to reveal their ages and their occupations. Surely that’ll mix some things up? Age differences and all that,” Vivi taps at her chin. “That’ll be interesting. I wonder how old Luffy is?”

“We’ll leave that for next week. This is what we have for the first episode!” Nami claps her hands together. “Next week, they’ll finally find their footing amongst one another and we can get a better sense of things between each of them!

Stay tuned next week for more Grand Line!”

\---

**  
LAW > SANJI**

**SANJI > LAW**

**KIDD > ZORO**

**ZORO > LUFFY**

**LUFFY > COBY**

**COBY > KIDD**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOTHING -- i repeat, NOTHING -- is planned. i literally used a randomiser to generate the sequence in which they came to the house, and then a randomiser again to generate who picked whom at the end. 
> 
> i plan to keep using randomisers until at least halfway through the show, whereby the pairings have more or less settled and let the characters develop their own stories. 
> 
> also, i'm revealing the first episode's pairings now, but in future, i might opt to reveal the answers on the next episode, so people could make their guesses in the comment section before it is unveiled.
> 
> (meaning, please comment! i literally haven't thought this through and comments would be good fuel to propel this into completion)


	2. unwatched flames

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> second chapter after two days? -- more likely than you think.
> 
> alright, i'm just posting as i go. and anyway, chapter one was more of an introduction so chapter two is when we finally get into the meat of things! the randomiser today has... made certain decisions, and i think some people might be happy with some interactions they see in this chapter. 
> 
> also, yes. i am also one of those who would opt out of reading a fic that doesn't contain a pairing that i like, but well! this is also a test for myself to see if i can write other types of character relationships and dynamics well, even if i'm not as familiar with them (& honestly, i don't think i'll fare too badly).
> 
> anyway, here is the chapter:

**episode two: unwatched flames**

INT – TV STUDIO  
  


“So… we didn’t get our crystals last week,” Nami begins, casting a wistful look at the box of crystals in the middle of the desk.

“We were so close!” Vivi sighs, and then looks in Robin’s direction. “We’ll listen to you next time, Robin. You were the only one who thought Coby might have chosen Kidd.”

Robin smiles, and then tilts her head to the board. “We haven’t yet seen the messages they have sent to each other. Shall we take a look?”

“Yeah,” Nami nods. “Show us the messages!”  
  


**LAW >>> SANJI**

**“The weather is great for jogging.”  
  
**

“Of course,” Vivi says.  
  


**SANJI >>> LAW**

**“Look forward to being your roommate.”**

“ _Ooh,_ ” Nami coos. “Is it _the_ roommate AU?”

“Aren’t they all playing out the roommate AU?” Vivi laughs, and Nami swats at her.

“They are literal roommates!”

“Zoro is there too,” Hancock huffs. “Unless he gets in on it.”

“You mean, _the_ polyamory roommate AU?” Nami smirks as Reiju chuckles into her hand.

**KIDD >>> ZORO**

**“Time to hit the weights.”**

“ _Men,_ ” Hancock rolls her eyes, leaning back against her chair as she folds her arms across her chest. “If the two of them get together, I have zero interest in watching their relationship play out. All that testosterone.”

**ZORO >>> LUFFY**

**“You seem nice.”**

“That is really a boring message,” Tashigi states. “I mean… you wouldn’t be able to tell who sent that at all.”

“Well, it’s Luffy,” Nami laughs. “Doubt he’d be able to tell even if Zoro made it explicitly clear that it was him.”

**LUFFY >>> COBY**

**“We should go out and eat someday! I know this place that makes great _takoyaki_ , and we can get all the free stuff we want too because my friend owns it! He’s called Hachi, he’s really cool, he looks like an octopus too! He looks like an octopus and he makes _takoyaki_ , isn’t that funny? He is so funny! And he has a starfish as a pet! I want a starfish as a pet too. But his pet starfish is so boring, it doesn’t do anything. It’s called Pappag! I love that name! We should eat there some time and visit Pappag. It looks like a glove. Hachi scolded me when I tried to wear it tho –”**

“Did he… reach the word limit?” Vivi guesses.

“It seems like it,” Robin agrees. Her mouth tilts into a smile. “He certainly is endearing, isn’t he?”

“If anyone tried to send me that, they are on my blacklist immediately,” Hancock announces. “I don’t have the time to humour such ridiculous rambles.”

“Well,” Nami shrugs. “He made it _extremely_ clear it’s from him though. And to be fair, if I were some shy kid who was just newly introduced to a bunch of strangers, I’d probably appreciate this sort of message.”

**COBY >>> KID**

**“I really appreciated your comment back at the dinner table. I look forward to getting to know you in the coming days.”**

“Aw,” Vivi sighs.

“Aw,” Nami follows. “He’s so pure. But we know that drama hijinks could easily ruin everything here, so let’s hope that this innocence of his doesn’t get tarnished. Anyway, this is the last of the messages. You can really tell their personalities from this, huh?”

“Zoro and Kidd are almost the exact same,” Vivi shakes her head. “The stoic type with little words.”

“Just pumping protein and throwing weights all around,” Nami grins. “And Luffy is the type who’d spam messages. I think he’d go either way: either he types non-stop endlessly, or he doesn’t reply for like, a month.”

“Law, Sanji, and Coby are the better ones,” Tashigi comments. “The ones who won’t annoy you with their texting style.”

“Alright, so do you guys have any predictions for today? What do you think each of their jobs are?” Nami prompts, and Reiju purses her lips.

“Sanji seems to know his way around the kitchen, and seems to be familiar with garden herbs as well. He should be a chef, or someone in that line of work.”

“Maybe a gardener?” Vivi raises her brows and smiles into her hand.

“Well, perhaps,” Reiju plays along.

“Kidd seems like he could be a rock star,” Nami suggests, “what with that leather jacket and lip ring and spikey red hair. He’d be a dope guitarist. Can’t imagine him as a singer, not with that voice.”

“Law, on the other hand,” Vivi says. “That velvety smooth voice of his could be great for doing some soul. Or R&B.”

“He could be a tattoo artist,” Tashigi considers, “or if we were to throw our web wider, he could maybe be a graphic designer. His eyebags could give raccoons a run for their money, and designers are known to work far into the night.”

“I would go a different route,” Robin pipes up. “He does seem the less sociable type, though the general calm in his demeanour makes me think of…” she taps her finger against the desk, “a lead researcher, perhaps. Possibly in the field of molecular biology.”

“He could go either way,” Nami agrees. “Exhausted artist or overworked scientist. He has both vibes. How about Coby, though? Coby reads like a student to me.”

“Luffy too,” Tashigi inserts, but Nami shakes her head.

“Luffy is student age for sure, but he doesn’t seem like the type who’d go into university. He’d probably do something… less ordinary. More… free.”

None of them respond for a long moment, until Vivi slams a fist into her palm. “I know!”

“What?” Nami probes.

“He could totally be a tiktok star. Influencer. Artist. I don’t know, what do you call them?”

“Oh yeah!” Light floods into her eyes as Nami nods in response to Vivi’s words. “He’d totally be a tiktok star!”

“Meanwhile, I see Zoro in either two scenarios: full-timing in the service industry as a retail staff or grocery store assistant, or personal trainer,” Reiju remarks.

“Alright, since we’ve got our guesses, let’s see if we’ve gotten anything right.” Nami spins her chair, and then slams a hand down onto the table. “Time to watch the next episode!”

EXT - MOUNTAIN PATH

The morning fog drapes over the sky, smearing the landscape nearly monochrome. Wind catches between trees; nudges leaves into falling.

Two sets of feet climb up a steep slope. One, in barely-used trainers, struggles, an ankle nearly twisting as its attached foot slips on the morning dew that has settled over the rocks.

“You alright?” a voice says, and a head of pink hair lifts.

“Y-Yeah, I’m fine,” Coby says, holding onto the railing as he slowly makes his way up. “It’s, um… slippery.”

“Yeah,” Sanji agrees. “It’s cold, too.”

“I… don’t feel the cold,” Coby says, his breaths coming up short. “Let me… let me take a breather, okay?”

“Sure,” the blonde answers, squatting and extending one leg as he goes into a stretch. “The air’s thinner here too.”

“Y… Yeah,” Coby says. When his breathing finally settles, he glances at Sanji, and then twists his fingers in the fabric of his shorts. “Are you sure you are okay with this? I mean… didn’t you say you had to go to work early today?”

“Nah, it’s fine. My workplace isn’t too far from here – fortunately.” Sanji straightens both legs, then does a forward fold with ease, his elbows nearly grazing touching the ground.

“Whoa…” Coby widens his eyes, but hastily wipes away the surprise when Sanji tosses a glance at him as he rises back up. “Are you an acrobat or something?”

“Nope,” Sanji answers, and then tosses a glance over his shoulder. “Would be a damn good one, though. Olympics gold medallist for sure.”

A smile starts to blossom across Coby’s lips, but he catches it before it blooms up to his cheeks. Instead, he drops his gaze and begins scuffing his shoes against the ground. “Yeah. I… I wish I had your confidence.”

“Confidence is just a persona. Like wearing a coat. It might feel weird at first if you’re not used to it, but soon enough it moulds to your body.” Sanji smiles. The breeze catches his hair, pulls it into a graceful dance behind his head. “Everything is fake. Might as well dress yourself up in designer garb and play the part.”

“Yeah…”

“Ready to continue?” Sanji says, nodding his head forward. “There’s a lookout point further up ahead. The view should be amazing.”

“Yeah, I’m ready,” Coby says, and the two of them make their way up. Sanji keeps a steady pace, pausing at times to check on Coby, while Coby trails not far behind him.

When they reach the lookout point, the sun has fully risen. The golden glow draws a clear divide between the horizon and the sky, and it illuminates the city below in orange and pink. Light scatters off from windows, catches the dust suspended in the air.

“It’s… beautiful,” Coby says. “I – wow.”

“Yeah,” Sanji answers.

They remain there for a long moment, silhouetted by the rising sun, the light haloing over the outlines of their faces.

INT – GRAND LINE APARTMENT 

Law descends from the stairs, rubbing at his eyes. His sleep-mussed hair has been stuffed under a beanie, and an array of breakfast food greets him as he walks up to the dining table.

His gaze flickers from the fluffy scrambled eggs, to the crispy bacons, to the buttered toast and coffee pot.

“Who made this?” he asks, just as Coby emerges from behind the kitchen counter with a mug in hand.

“Sanji,” he answers. “He made it just before he left for work.”

Law nods his head and moves to take a plate and a coffee mug from the drawers. By the time he returns back to the table, Coby has settled himself in the leftmost seat. Law sits across from him and helps himself to the coffee.

“You want some?” he asks.

“Yeah, thanks,” Coby pushes his mug to Law as Law pours the coffee. “You should have come with us today. The sunrise was really pretty!”

“Yeah?” Law says, returning the pot back to its coaster. Coby takes his mug back and wraps his hands around it, leaning over the steam coiling up from the rim.

“Did you manage to complete your work in time?”

“I did,” Law answers. “I’ll come with next time. Mountain air sounds good right now.” He scoops some eggs into his plate, and then reaches over the bread to help himself to some bacon.

They eat in silence, until someone barrels down the stairs. Coby cranes his neck up, and then grins as he registers the approaching figure. “Hey, Luffy,” he greets.

“Hi Coby! _Ooh_ , look at all this food! Thanks!” Luffy grabs a plate and plops himself beside Law, already shovelling food onto his plate even before he has settled fully in his seat.

“Sanji made it,” Coby says.

“Thank you, Sanji!” Luffy calls out to no one in particular.

“He’s already left for work,” Coby answers again. “What are you up to today? I didn’t expect you to wake up so early.”

“Yeah, I gotta go somewhere,” Luffy answers with his mouth full. Law gives him a sideway glance, but doesn’t say anything. “What time are you leaving?”

“Me?” Coby shrugs. “I’ll only be heading out at noon.”

“How about you Torao?” Luffy asks, shifting to look at Law.

“In about ten minutes,” Law answers.

“Ooh yeah! That’s great! Could you give me a lift? I’m actually about…” Luffy glances at the clock before finally swallowing down his food, “ten minutes late now, so it’ll be great if you could drive me!”

Law says nothing as he finishes the last of his eggs, and then follows it by downing the rest of his coffee. He makes to clear his plate, rising from his seat, before he finally offers Luffy a glance. “Alright. Sure. I can drive you.”

“Aw yeah, thanks!” Luffy bounds up to his feet, rushing to the sink before Law and dumping his plate in. “I’ll meet you downstairs, yeah?”

Law doesn’t get a chance to answer before Luffy bolts up the stairs, and the man heaves a sigh as he reaches the sink and begins to run the water over their dishes. When he’s done, he makes his way back up the stairs.

After a few minutes, Law is waiting downstairs. He’s wearing his thick black coat, his hands are shoved into gloves, and the beanie fits neater around his hair. His car keys are in one hand, and he fiddles with it until the familiar racket of Luffy bursting down the stairs catches his ears. He moves away from the foot of the staircase just in time as Luffy barrels down the last step, clad in a red fleece jacket with his straw hat propped behind his back.

“Alright, let’s go!” Luffy announces, already walking up to the door and opening it. Law follows after, and soon they clamber into his black car.

Luffy plops into his seat, which has been reclined so far backwards that his feet can’t meet the ground. He leans down and lets his boots dangle in the air as Law starts the engine, and it’s only when Law adjusts his mirror that he notices Luffy.

The corners of his lip quirk slightly as he regards Luffy, nearly lying flat on his back with his boots dancing inches away from the dashboard. “My friend took a nap here the other day. I could adjust it back…” he leans across the seat and finds the toggle. With a jerk, Luffy jolts back upright, and then Law toggles it once again such that the seat returns to its normal position. “Better?”

“It was fun as a bed too,” Luffy chirps, “but yeah!”

“Where are you headed to?” Law asks, switching on the GPS on his phone. Luffy makes a small noise as he looks through his phone, and then he flashes the screen at Law.

“Here!”

“Oh?” Law keys the location in. “That’s near.”

“Near where?”

“My workplace,” he answers, reversing out of the driveway and turning into the road.

“That’s cool. My friend is having an art exhibition there and I told him I’ll help! He’s really cool, you know? He was like this graphic designer, or a game concept artist or something, and he made all these really cool designs of these warrior-type characters who look really fierce, but also have something stupid on them, like a butterfly on this huge armoured shoulder or, like… this banana float behind their back! So yeah, he was doing all this cool stuff, but then he wanted to do some _other_ cool stuff, and he’s also really good at drawing and painting and all, you know? He drew me once at a party and it was like looking in a mirror, it was so good – and he did it half-drunk too!”

Law doesn’t respond as he makes a stop at a traffic light.

“So yeah, he finally found these people who could tell he was really good, and now he’s having his first exhibition! Today’s the opening day! I told him I’ll help and bring lots of friends over… hey, Torao!” At the sudden mention of his name, Law jolts, and then slowly shifts his gaze over to Luffy. “You should come!”

Silence, for a moment. And then: “Uh, what?”

“To the exhibition! I’ve already invited everyone else! Ace and Sabo are obviously coming, and so are Makino and Shanks and Bon Clay and – anyway, it’ll start at 7pm! It’ll be really cool!”

“No,” he rejects easily.

“Why not?” Luffy’s eyes are wide as saucers, “It’ll be awesome!”

When Law doesn’t immediately answer, Luffy continues.

“Oh! Or you could go now! Yeah, you should come and stop by now and take a look at everything, since you can’t make it for later. Usopp wouldn’t mind – you have time to drop by for ten minutes, don’t you?”

“I have work.”

“Look, there’s Usopp!” Luffy presses the button and the window rolls down, and then he sticks his head out. “Usopp!”

A man on the sidewalk jumps. He whirls around in evident confusion, until his gaze lands on Luffy. “Luffy?”

“Hey, Usopp! Can my friend tag along for a bit? He can’t make it tonight, and I want to show him all the cool stuff you’ve done!”

“Uh…” the man, who has an oddly long nose and a head of curls peeking out from under a baseball cap, leans in to peer at Law in the driver’s seat. “Sure, I guess? The parking’s that way,” he points to the right. “I’ll see you inside.”

“Yeah!” Luffy says. He turns to Law, “You have time, right?”

“No. I have work.”

“But –”

“How about this,” Law interjects the instant he notices the whine in Luffy’s tone, “I’ll give you some money,” he fishes out a note from his wallet, “and you can get yourself a hotdog bun from that stall over there,” he indicates a nearby stall, “and we’ll see each other at the apartment. Alright?”

“ _Ooh!_ ” Luffy snatches the bill out of his hands, and Law hastily unlocks the passenger door as Luffy makes to open it. “Hotdog bun! That sounds great! You’re the best! See you at home!”

Luffy barrels out of the car while the light turns green, and Law immediately locks the door and slams on the pedal to leave.

INT – TV STUDIO  
  


“That reaction,” Nami says. “Absolute beast. Love it. What else can you do against an excitable puppy but find its weak point and lure it aside?”

“I don’t think Luffy has won himself any favours with Law here, though,” Tashigi pipes up, underlining some words in her notebook. “In fact, I think Law’s impression of him probably worsened.”

“Well, actually, if someone were to welcome me so warmly into the friendship circle, I’d actually be pretty touched,” Vivi outlines a circle on the desk with her index finger, “though I guess he _was_ kind of annoying, for a near-stranger who has only just gotten to know him.”

“Though it must be said that if Luffy were to ask him on an actual date, he cannot reject,” Robin clarifies. “It is part of the rules. They are meant to open themselves up to everyone in the apartment, regardless of who it is. In this circumstance, however, it was well within his rights to refuse.”

“Regarding that scene with Coby and Sanji at the beginning, though,” Tashigi rubs the bottom of her chin.

“Yeah,” Nami agrees. “Coby’s definitely at least somewhat interested in Sanji.”

“Sanji does not seem privy to it,” Reiju adds, “or, at least, doesn’t seem to regard him with the same interest.”

“It might have been better if we had Law there as well, so we could compare how differently Sanji would have treated them,” Tashigi says, and Nami shrugs.

“Well, the day’s still early. There might be other changes.”

INT – GRAND LINE APARTMENT

“You’re home?” Coby looks up from the kitchen counter as Zoro pokes his head in. “I was the earliest back so thought I should start making dinner.”

“What you making?” he asks, dumping his bag onto an empty seat.

“Spaghetti,” Coby rubs the back of his neck, “I’m not that good at cooking, so I decided on a simple aglio olio.”

“Alright,” Zoro says, walking up to the sink and giving his hands a quick rinse. “What do I have to do?”

“Huh? Uh, you don’t need to –”

“We’re the first ones home. Only right to do this together.”

“Ah, okay, uh. Yes, um… I’ll boil the spaghetti now, and could you chop up some garlic and chilli?”

“Yeah,” Zoro says, picking the sharpest knife he can find. He grabs it like he might a weapon, and begins chopping without holding the board steady. The board clatters around, and Coby quickly peeks behind his shoulder.

“Uh…”

There are… significant lesions in the abused wood. A crack climbs up the middle. The garlic has been sliced into beads, and chilli seeds scatter around the table and the floor. Zoro looks up, and holds a bowl in his hand. “I’m done.”

“Ah. I… see… Could you take out the bacon and… just hand it to me?”

Zoro digs for the bacon in the fridge, and then hands it over. Kidd emerges from downstairs, his spikey hairdo nearly collapsing over. He nods at Zoro and Coby, and makes his way upstairs.

As Coby finishes up the dish and Zoro helps to set the plates, Sanji and Law return home.

Sanji sniffs at the air, “Aglio olio?” he asks, hands stuffed in his pocket, dark circles smeared under his eyes., while Law heads upstairs without a word.

“Yes,” Coby answers. “It’ll be ready in five!”

They gather around the table after five minutes, save for Luffy, who isn’t home yet. “Is he not coming back for dinner?” Coby asks.

No one responds, until Law frowns and lifts his head up. “Last I heard, he was going for a friend’s exhibition at 7.”

“’Is good,” Zoro says, his mouth stuffed full of spaghetti. He slurps the noodles up, the oil splattering around his mouth.

“Yeah,” Kidd acknowledges, rolling a huge chunk of his noodles with a fork. He opens his mouth wide as he brings the fork to his mouth, only to flinch before his lips can close around the roll of noodles. “Ah –”

“You hurt your jaw?” Sanji asks. Kidd doesn’t immediately respond, only lifts his fingers to rub at the side of his right jaw, tilting his head a little to the left as he does.

A huge bruise has welled up on his jaw, right below the ear. It blossoms dark with an undercurrent of red; Kidd shakes his head a little, and Sanji leans out towards him.

“That looks bad. What happened?”

Law observes from the other end of the table, his hand resting on the edge of the table. Zoro pauses in the midst of his second mouthful. “You got into a fight?” he states more than asks, and then dumps the noodles into his mouth.

“Yeah,” Kidd grunts. “Stupid fella. Tried to start up a fight over nothing. Got a lucky shot in when I wasn’t looking, but couldn’t get anything else in. Probably spent all his luck in that one hit, because he sure ain’t lucky now.”

Coby freezes at the insinuation, jaw half-open. When he realises his slack mouth, he shuts it and swallows down the rest of his spaghetti.

“Heh?” Zoro grins, while Sanji gets up from his seat and heads to the kitchen.

He opens up the drawers, sifting through the crockery in search for something – and then stops. Rises, slowly; hand on a chopping board. “Who –” he pauses, while everyone’s head swivels to his direction, “the _hell_ –” Coby’s eyes widen at the chopping board, and he quickly drops his gaze back down, “used this chopping board?”

Kidd glances at the board; Law’s brows knit together. Zoro looks at Sanji, and then the abused board held in his tight grip.

“Yeah, I did,” he says. Coby hastily averts his gaze as Sanji walks over, expression neutral and back still slouched.

“What did you do with it?” he asks, tension coiled around his words.

“Cut stuff, what else?” he shrugs.

“And – pray tell – what did you _use_ to cut your aforementioned ‘stuff’ with?”

Law leans back in his chair, the ends of his lips curling up slightly as he folds his arms across his chest. Kidd raises a brow. Coby forces his gaze down into his half-empty plate and continues scooping the noodles straight into his mouth.

Zoro straightens up a little in his seat, expression turning guarded. He catches Sanji’s gaze, and his voice is low when he replies, “A knife.”

“ _What_ knife?” Sanji is standing directly across from Zoro now, and the fissure on the board is wide and gaping. Splinters of wood stick out from its defaced surface.

“I don’t know the name – that uh, big one. Rectangular looking. Metal.”

Sanji takes a slow breath in. “Well, obviously the ‘stuff’ you had so eloquently mentioned was garlic and chilli, because there are still bits of garlic and chilli seeds embedded into the craters of tiny gaping holes that have formed on the inside of the wood. And now you’re telling me that you used a cleaver – a goddamn _cleaver_ – to chop them. The garlic and the chilli. A _cleaver_?”

“How would I know what to use? I don’t cook.”

“You might not cook, but surely you know how to _not break stuff_ , right? Especially things that are _communally owned_?”

“What do you want? Spit it out already! You got a problem with me, huh, you –” Zoro searches Sanji’s face, until his gaze catches something and he smirks, “you _dartboard brow_?”

“What the hell did you call me, you shitty marimo?” The chopping board, long forgotten, crashes onto the floor just as Sanji leans over and Zoro stands from his seat, his chair screeching against the hardwood.

“What? Dartboard brow? Just like you to get caught up so easily over something stupid like a chopping board – is it because you feel hurt because it’s a close relative to your _brows_?”

Law stands from his seat and gathers his plates in his hands. “I’m heading upstairs,” he says, moving towards the sink.

“I’m good here,” Kidd grins, leaning back. He slurps his noodles up, loud and messy.

“I-I… uh…” Coby’s plate, long empty, lies abandoned on the table as he hesitantly rises to his feet. He shifts his attention from Zoro, to Sanji, and his mouth opens and closes like a dying fish.

“If you had any decency at all, you’d _apologise_ for somehow having _sliced the fucking chopping board in half_. But I guess since you’re just a shitty marimo, that’s too much to even ask for!”

“You could have just told me that straight instead of going into some stupid ass interrogation in the middle of dinner! I would’ve just said ‘sorry’ and be done with it!”

“You can apologise now!”

“I would but I don’t like your attitude!”

“Guys, guys,” Coby moves towards them, and at their attention suddenly glaring down on him, he gulps. “U-Uh… let’s not fight over this… I – uh, it could be partly my fault too, Sanji. I saw him use the cleaver and I didn’t advise him otherwise.”

“Don’t apologise on behalf of this brute, Coby. It wasn’t your fault.”

“Y-Yeah, no, it wasn’t my fault but uh… we are roommates now and we have to live together. Can’t you just… forgive him? Zoro could, uh… he could go out and get a new board. Can’t you, Zoro?”

“Yeah,” Zoro answers. “And I will. And would have done so, if this curlyhead could have just _come out and say it_.”

“You – ugh,” Sanji throws his hands up. “Fine. _Fine._ But I’m only doing it for Coby. You’re going to buy a new chopping board, but because you are obviously a _fucking idiot_ I’m going to come with you to make sure you don’t end up choosing something that’s made of like – I don’t know – cardboard.”

“Fine by me,” Zoro picks his plate up, pours the rest of the noodles into his mouth, and then grabs the plate and storms to the sink. “I’m done with dinner.” He gives the plate a quick rinse, and then glances at Kidd. “I’m going up to train, if you want to come along.”

“Sure,” Kidd grins at Zoro’s retreating back.

Sanji sighs and slumps back into his seat. Coby carefully picks his plate up and moves to the sink, setting the water at the lowest power so that he doesn’t draw attention to himself.

“I’m sorry,” Sanji says, nodding his head at Kidd, then turning to address Coby. “That shouldn’t have evolved into a fight. I’m just – when people do stupid things in the kitchen, it can just rile me up.”

“It’s fine,” Kidd answers, still grinning. “Thought y’all were some wimps or something at first, all nice and courteous and shit like that. Fun to see that you guys have at least some backbone in you.”

“Ha,” Sanji smirks around his glass as he sips at his water. “You don’t say.”

“That guy’s probably got some tension to release,” Kidd says, rising to his feet. “Gonna be fun to spar with.”

“Don’t let him get a cheap shot in,” Sanji says, and Kidd’s laughter trails behind him as he makes his way up.

After a moment, Coby speaks up, “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Sanji asserts immediately. A silence falls between the two of them before Sanji lets out a sigh. “I have problems containing my anger sometimes. A childhood thing. I’m sorry.”

“… It’s alright,” Coby answers.

“Did we scare you?”

“No! Uh, I mean… well, yeah. A little. Kind of.”

“You might have to get used to it. Kidd and Law don’t seem like they’re the type to walk away from an argument either, and Luffy,” Sanji lets out a laugh. “Luffy’s probably going to end up riling all of us up at one point or the other, and he’ll probably laugh about it too. You got stuck with a bunch of difficult people, unfortunately.”

“That’s not true, you –” Coby catches himself mid-sentence. He drops his gaze to his feet once again, interlacing his fingers and squeezing them tight together. “I mean. All of you seem nice, even if you… aren’t what I had in mind.”

“Go on up,” Sanji says. “I’ll clean up here on my own afterwards. Probably save some spaghetti for Luffy too.”

“Alright… thank you,” Coby says. Sanji just waves him up to his room as response.

INT – TV STUDIO

“Wow,” Vivi breathes out as she takes out one side of her earpiece. “That was… a thrilling segment. And we still have one more segment left for the episode?”

“I am _loving_ this,” Nami exclaims, leaning so far back in her chair that there’s a danger of her falling over. “All that heat! All the arguments! We didn’t get this back in season one – they were so _vanilla_.”

“Yes, indeed,” Robin agrees, a smile dancing across her lips. “It is certainly more fun to see the wide array of human emotions play out on screen, than just the meek, polite courtesy of strangers who are too afraid to be genuine with one another.”

“First Law, now Sanji,” Hancock says. “I hate to agree with Nami,” she scrunches her nose a little at the name, “but it is true that it is far more refreshing to see these men be – well, men. Even if men are disgusting creatures that would never be tolerated in my presence.”

“I don’t even know what to say,” Tashigi hastily flips to the front of her notebook and scans the scratchy lines she had written. “There’s no – I mean – are we guessing _hate signals_ today?”

“Well, Coby is still very evidently smitten with Sanji,” Reiju pipes up. “From the hike, and from his subsequent interaction with Sanji at the dinner table. Even if Sanji had shown himself to have a temper – and a rather bad one at that – Coby still seems intrigued by him, at the very least.”

“Law seems to have enjoyed that as well,” Nami taps her pen on the table, sitting up straight. “And Kidd too. I’m going to say that all of them seem pretty happy with the turn of events, actually. Except maybe for Zoro. And Sanji’s poor cutting board.”

“Let’s get back to the episode!” Vivi says, bouncing up and down her seat. “I don’t want to guess their love lines just yet – I want to see what happens!”

INT – GRAND LINE APARTMENT

“Hey,” Kidd opens the door to the balcony. Sanji lifts his head in surprise, a cigarette dangling between his index and thumb.

“It’s you,” he says. “How was training?”

“T’was good,” he answers. “Needed some fresh air.”

They stay like this in silence for a few long seconds, when Sanji stubs his cigarette out and dumps it in the ashtray and walks out the balcony. Kidd doesn’t bother to turn; he merely stares out at the scenery, the night dark and cold.

An arm cuts into his vision. He takes a step back, and then eyes the package in Sanji’s proffered hand. “What’s this?”

“A boiled egg,” Sanji says when he takes it over. “Press it against your bruise.”

“Huh.” He rubs the boiled egg, wrapped in a cloth, against his jaw. A brow cocks up. “It’s… nice.”

“Guys! I’m home!” Luffy barrels up the stairs. “Let’s start the guessing thingy now!”

Eventually, they all meet in the second-storey living room. Luffy has, as usual, claims the biggest beanbag chair as his own, while Zoro sits on the floor beside him, leaning his back against the sofa, where Kidd is.

Law sits on the other end of the sofa, Coby tucked in-between him and Kidd. Sanji takes the lone armchair, directly across from Luffy.

“Alright, so who should begin?” Luffy is somehow bouncing up and down on the beanbag chair.

“How about you?” Sanji asks, and Luffy grins.

“Okay! Okay, do me first! Do me first!” He digs into his pocket and throws a rumpled photograph onto the coffee table.

They lean in towards the centre to get a better look at the photo. It is a young Luffy, around five to six years of age. He is beaming wide and bright at the camera, with two disembodied arms holding him by the collar from either side.

“Those are my brothers!” Luffy explains, pointing to the arms. “Ace and Sabo! They are awesome.”

“That doesn’t tell us anything except for what we already know,” Sanji says.

“Aw, come on! Make a guess!”

“Student?” Zoro tries. Luffy wiggles his nose.

“Ew, no.”

“Cheerleader?” Kidd smirks.

“No! But that’ll be cool!”

“Um… maybe you work… as a comic book writer?” Coby tries. Luffy laughs, slamming the table as he does so.

“No! But one of my friends had written a comic book before! It was amazing! Oh hey, Torao, you know him too – Usopp!”

“Maybe you work in a circus,” Law says lowly under his breath. Luffy catches it, though, and he shakes his head like an overly-excited puppy.

“Nope! Can I tell you now? Can I say it?”

“Yeah,” Sanji waves his hand. “Go ahead. Tell us your age first, though.”

“ _Ooh_ , okay! I’m twenty-one!”

“Twenty-one?” Kidd looks him up and down. “Wouldn’t have guessed.”

“And I am… a Youtuber!”

 _“I knew it!”_ Vivi says, pumping her fist in the air. _“I know I said tiktok star, but close enough!”_

“Youtuber?” Coby echoes.

“Yup!”

“So, what videos do you do?” Zoro probes, and Luffy begins counting them off his fingers.

“Eating videos, vlogs, commentary, pranks, reaction videos… whatever I want to! Gramps say that I can’t earn a living from it, but guess what? I earn _way_ more than him!”

“You’re popular, then?” Sanji asks, and Luffy bobs his head up and down enthusiastically.

“Yeah! I got like two… twenty… two-hundred… uh… a lot of subscribers, basically! Sabo and Ace are usually in my videos too – you should see them together, they are _hilarious_!”

“Alright, so how about you pick who you want to go next?” Sanji suggests. Luffy takes a good look at each and every one of them, when his gaze finally lands.

“Okay! Torao! You next!”

Law’s shoulders drop, but he produces the photograph anyway. He is maybe seven or eight years old in the picture, with a stuffed animal in hand – though its eyes and nose are missing.

“Are you a – what’s that guy called – the person who does autopsies?” Kidd says, instantly zoning in onto the animal’s facial features – or lack thereof.

“No.”

“An artist?” Sanji tries. “Maybe you’re trying to emanate Picasso here?”

“No,” he answers, smiling slightly at the thought of it.

“Toymaker,” Zoro throws out, not even trying.

“No.”

“I have no clue,” Coby rubs his ear absent-mindedly. “I’d have initially guessed professor, possibly of… astrophysics or something, I don’t know.”

“Getting warmer,” he says, and Luffy perks up.

“ _Ooh_! I know then! You are a ballerina! No, a ballerino!”

“How is ballerina close to _astrophysics_?” Law pinches his nose bridge. “No, none of those. I’m a doctor. A surgeon, to be precise.”

“Is that why you have the word ‘DEATH’ tattooed on your fingers?” Sanji asks, and Law’s smirk widens.

“Yes,” he says, and doesn’t say anything else.

“How old are you?” Coby asks.

“Twenty-eight.”

“You’re supposed to say who goes next,” Luffy reminds, and Law nods his head at Sanji.

“Alright then…” Sanji says, placing his photograph onto the table. Sanji looks maybe four, and he’s standing in front of something that is cut off from the photograph, something akin to a counter.

“This photo tells us nothing,” Luffy complains.

“I don’t need the photograph to guess what Sanji’s occupation is, though,” Coby says. “You are a chef, aren’t you?”

“Yeah,” Sanji says, and Luffy gasps.

“Chef? No wonder your food is so good! I can’t believe we have a chef here! That was my one greatest dream – and now it has come true! I can’t wait to tell Ace and Sabo – they’re going to be so jealous!”

“And you are… twenty-five years old?” Coby tries.

“Nah,” he says.

“Twelve,” Zoro remarks. Sanji throws him a glare, but doesn’t otherwise respond.

“Twenty-three?” Law says, and Sanji nods.

“Yeah, I’m twenty-three.” Sanji turns to look at Coby, “Your turn.”

“Oh, okay, um… here you go.” He passes around his photograph. Coby’s around ten years of age, and even though he’s standing at attention, there’s a wide smile on his face.

“You are in the Marines?” Sanji tries.

“Some army-hopeful?” Kidd says.

“The President?” Luffy’s eyes widen into saucers, and Zoro laughs.

“No, but you are all close enough – except for, um, Luffy. I’m in the police academy now, training to be a police cadet!”

“That’s cool,” Luffy proclaims. “How old are you?”

“I’m actually one year younger than you. I’m twenty.”

“That’s young,” Sanji says.

“Alright um… Kidd? Do you want to go next?”

“Sure.” He pulls out a photo from deep in his leather jacket and dumps it onto the table. In the photo, as an eleven-year-old, he has a manic grin on his face as he sits in a garage.

“Did you have an underground band?” Luffy says. “Are you a rock-star?”

“Ha,” Kidd makes a low laugh. “I was in a band in high school, but nah.”

“You look like you could be a hairstylist,” Coby tries, glancing at his styled hair. At this, Kidd bursts out laughing.

“Hairstylist? Are you kidding me?”

“Mechanic,” Law says, and Kidd’s head whips to him. He gives Law an assessing look.

“Well… yeah. How’d you guess?”

“It’s a garage.”

“How old are you?” Luffy asks.

“Twenty-five. Guess you’re up,” he nudges Zoro. Zoro digs his photograph out from his jean pocket and dumps it, crinkled, onto the table. A green-headed child sits at a yard, looking put-out.

“Looks like your moss had been growing since young,” Sanji comments.

“This photo doesn’t tell us anything,” Luffy complains again, but Coby purses his lips.

“Well, from what I’ve observed from you, I would guess you are a personal trainer, maybe?” Coby tries. “Or maybe a wrestler?”

“Nah. Close, though. Try a different sport.”

“Hm…” Luffy scrunches his brows together. “Ballet?”

“No. What is _up_ with you and ballet?”

“Weightlifter,” Kidd says. “Though I bet you can’t lift more than me.”

“No. And we can compete, next time, if you want,” Zoro says, his lips sharp.

“Fencer?” Sanji says. “Considering how well you _know knives_.”

“Shut up. And no, but getting closer.”

Law raises an eyebrow. “Do you do… kendo?” he tries. Zoro stares at him for a few long seconds, before he slowly nods his head.

“You know kendo?”

“Yeah,” Law says. “I own a _nodachi_.”

“A _nodachi_?” Zoro repeats, surprise blossoming on his features. His lips begin to peel into a smile. “I use _katanas_.”

“Of course. I had my go with them, but I far preferred a longer sword.”

“Do you have them with you now?”

“No, it’s back home. But I could bring it here, if you want to see it,” Law offers.

“I’ll bring mine too. Just to inform you, I have three.”

“Three _katanas_?” Law confirms, and Zoro nods his head. “You alternate between using each, or?”

“I use all three at the same time. So, you do kendo, too?”

“Not really. Not anymore. Don’t have the time now.”

Luffy looks to and forth the both of them like he might with a ping-pong tournament, but then cuts in before Zoro has the chance to respond, “Okay, so how old are you?”

Zoro blinks for a bit, as though he has forgotten Luffy’s very existence. He looks around at everyone before answering, “Uh… twenty-three.”

“I guess I’m the oldest,” Law says.

“I’m the youngest,” Coby rubs the back of his neck. “I’m not entirely surprised… though I kinda expected Luffy to be younger.”

Luffy laughs at that. They chatter for a bit before returning to their rooms.

INT – TV STUDIO

“Everything has now been revealed!” Nami says. “I actually cannot believe that Luffy is twenty-one.”

“Neither can I,” Vivi agrees. “Coby seems to be about twenty, but Luffy acts so much younger. Everyone else is about correct, though.”

“Alright, so who shall we look at first? I think Coby is still fairly obvious – Sanji?” Nami says. The rest nod, and she draws an arrow from Coby to Sanji. “Shall we do Sanji next, then?”

“I want to say Law, but Sanji didn’t really interact much with Law today…” Vivi drifts off.

“It is not Zoro,” Hancock answers.

“Wouldn’t it be interesting if it was?” Robin smiles. “They _did_ have the most heated interaction thus far. Perhaps that could count for something.” When Hancock opens her mouth to argue, Robin concedes. “Though maybe, not right now.”

“I think it could be Coby… or even Kidd,” Tashigi pushes her spectacles up. “He did offer Kidd that boiled egg to help with his bruise. Meanwhile Law, as an actual doctor, didn’t even bother.”

“Speaking of which… can you believe that Law is a lawyer, with that tattoo over his fingers? I wouldn’t want to go to his clinic.” Nami comments, heaving a shudder. “That would be so creepy!”

“Neither do I…” Vivi shakes her head. “He seems like he would be very professional, but also very detached. I can’t see him showing any actual concern for patients.”

“Regarding Sanji,” Reiju says, “I think he might lean towards Coby. Coby’s the only person who he had properly spent time with, and he also made an attempt to apologise to Coby after the dinner incident. I think he opened a little of himself up to Coby with that.”

“I didn’t think of that,” Vivi purses her lips. “He did talk about himself, didn’t he?”

“Alright, I’m leaning towards your choice. So… Sanji to Coby?” Nami asks.

“Yes,” Robin answers, and Nami draws an arrow from Sanji to Coby.

“How about… hm… Luffy?” Nami frowns. “Would he still pick Coby?”

“I think everything we’ve seen so far leans towards Law,” Tashigi answers. “I mean… first off, that’s the only person he’s spent any real time with. And second, he _did_ tell Law about all his friends on the car ride.”

“I think Luffy would say anything to anyone, though,” Vivi says. “Or would he stick to last week’s decision, and go with Coby? He doesn’t seem like the sort who thinks too much into things, so maybe he’ll just revert back to his original choice.”

“Remember that when Luffy had the chance to choose someone to reveal their occupation and age, he chose Law,” Robin says. “That must mean he has some interest in him.”

“It is Law,” Hancock announces.

“Why?” Nami asks, and Hancock regards her levelly.

“Because he gave him money to purchase food.”

Silence. And then Nami picks up her marker and immediately draws a line from Luffy to Law without question.

“Alright, next person!” she says, while Vivi chuckles from behind her hand. “Law?”

“It wouldn’t be Luffy,” Tashigi shakes her head. “Unless… but no. Well…”

“You can voice your thoughts, you know?” Reiju says.

Tashigi blushes. “Okay, well… uh. I don’t think it would be Luffy, but it _could_ be, because Luffy has treated him really warmly thus far. And even if his behaviour might have come across as… a little too much, he might have melted part of Law’s frosty interior.”

“I highly doubt that,” Nami says. “Towards Luffy, Law is frozen through and through. Towards Sanji, however…”

“They haven’t interacted at all this episode, though,” Vivi points out.

“Not directly. But he chose _Sanji_ to go next after him, back at the living room. I think it’s still Sanji, anyway. Law doesn’t seem like the type of guy who’d change his mind that easily. Also, the rest seem too… boisterous for him. Sanji’s the only one calm enough.”

“That makes sense,” Tashigi says.

“Unfortunately, I agree,” Hancock says.

“Sanji it is,” Nami says, drawing the arrow from Law to Sanji. “Now… I think Zoro is pretty obvious too.”

“Sanji?” Robin quirks a smile.

“No,” Nami laughs. “Law.”

“Law? But they haven’t – oh, right.” Vivi nods her head slowly. “The kendo thing.”

“It’s the first time you see Zoro show any real interest to anyone,” Nami shrugs. “It could easily be Kidd, too, but we didn’t get to see their sparring so I can’t tell for sure. Right now, it seems like it’d be Zoro.”

“It was also his first time actively participating and _continuing_ a conversation,” Reiju adds.

“Yeah,” Nami says, connecting the line from Zoro to Law. “Now… all we have left is Kidd.”

“I don’t really know about this one…” Vivi says, frowning.

“Well… Kidd _could_ pick Zoro again, but as I said, we didn’t get a chance to see their sparring session, so I can’t tell for sure.”

“He didn’t really interact with Law at all, aside from mutual enjoyment of Zoro and Sanji’s shouting match,” Vivi says.

“Could it be Coby?” Tashigi tries. “Coby’s message made it blatantly clear that it was him, so maybe Kidd might message him just to respond back.”

“Honestly? No hate, but Kidd doesn’t seem the sort to care about social niceties,” Nami points out, and Tashigi deflates.

“You’re right.”

“I think it would be Sanji,” Robin says. “Sanji did, after all, helped take care of his bruise, when no one else did. And Kidd did express pleasant delight at Sanji’s outburst. If we assume that, at the beginning stages, people would be drawn most to someone who intrigues them or makes their heart beat faster, then it would be Sanji.”

“They did have that fun little banter,” Vivi agrees.

“Alright? So, we’re picking Sanji?” Nami asks. They nod their heads, and she draws the line from Kidd to Sanji. “Okay, so since we are done – wait, is there another segment coming up?”

They turn to their screens.

“Isn’t it done by now?” Vivi questions.

INT – GRAND LINE APARTMENT

It is six in the morning. The sun has barely woken, and the sky is still heavy with sleep.

A car pulls up in the driveway. Someone emerges, and his sneakers slide onto the ground with ease.

From the back, he looks lean and tall. Dark brown hair brushes the nape of his neck. A slim hand wraps itself around the handle, and then it pushes it down and steps through the threshold.

Sanji, at the kitchen, lifts his head as a person comes climbing up the steps. His eyes widen as the person turns in, a sliver of dark skin glowing under the light.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so... did they vote correctly? who is the new person? what is going to happen next???
> 
> (i only know the answers to the first two, i swear!) 
> 
> the chapter is getting really long (a whopping 8k words!!), so i might have to split the subsequent ones up... unless you guys like the longer chapters? also, i'm not giving too much time to the panelists yet, but i predict once things get messier... their discussions aren't going to be as straightforward.
> 
> (i am also trying to figure out a way to make hancock react to luffy here as she does in the manga, but so far my ideas have been... half-baked. we'll see how it goes as it goes along)
> 
> \+ don't expect the next chapter to arrive as quickly. i want to hear your guesses!! (also i'm really writing based on whims and that is a flakey way to be productive, so i don't want to make any promises. )
> 
> ++ my tumblr is @catastrophic-dreamer. i'm not very active on that acc now, but am planning on using it more often soon (esp if I get interaction)!


	3. mishaps and prospects

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> once again, nearly 8k words!!! i just write and write and can't stop writing!!
> 
> also, featuring a very short appearance by a special guest! he's been mentioned a couple times and now he's here!

**chapter three: mishaps and prospects  
  
  
**

INT – TV STUDIO

“Who _is_ that guy?” Nami screeches, and Robin makes to quietly cover her ears. “I can’t believe they just stopped there last week! How could they leave us hanging like this?”

“Now, now,” Vivi says, giving an awkward smile. “We’ll get to see who he is now, won’t we? Furthermore, we still have to check our love lines from last week.”

Nami huffs a breath. “Fine. Yes. Alright.” She spins to the board and taps at it with the back of her marker. “Shall we take a look then? Who shall we look at first?”

“Coby?” Vivi suggests. “He’s the most… obvious.”

“I agree,” Robin nods.

“Alright then, let’s take a look at Coby’s love line!”

The screen flashes Coby, who is busy typing on a phone. When Coby hits ‘send’, he wraps his phone in his fingers and tries not to look at his other roommates.

It cuts to Sanji.

**COBY >>> SANJI**

**“The morning view was beautiful.”**

“Of course!” Nami squeals, as Sanji receives the message on screen. He leans back on his bed, glancing through the words quickly. “Who next?”

“Um…” Tashigi pores over the pairings on the board. “Law.”

Law hits the ‘send’ button, and leans his arm against the windowsill as he stares out at the dark streets.

It flashes back to Sanji again. He blinks a little at his phone screen, and then makes to tap open the message.

**LAW >>> SANJI**

**“Didn’t know you had a temper. We should hang out more.”**

“ _Ahhhhh!_ ” Vivi squeaks. “He said it outright: _We should hang out more_!”

“Didn’t think Law was this forward,” Reiju muses, while Robin chuckles.

“I suppose from the very beginning Sanji has been the only one to catch his eyes,” Robin agrees. “They haven’t had much time to get to know one another.”

“Who shall we take a look at next?” Nami asks. “We should go with someone obvious.”

“Luffy, then,” Hancock decides. Nami tosses her a glance, and then looks back to the board, considering.

“Alright then, let’s take a look at Luffy’s!”

Luffy swings his legs as he perches on the edge of his bed. He jabs at the keyboard with his thumb; and then, grinning wide, he lets himself fall onto his bed with a loud ‘ _plop_ ’.

Law’s screen flashes beside him.

**LUFFY >>> LAW**

**“Thanks for the hotdog bun! It was so good, you should have had some! There were like these crushed fried garlic bits on the top and it was _sooooo_ amazing and then afterwards Usopp bought me a soft-serve from the same stall and it was also so good!! Oh right, the exhibition was amazing! All of my friends were at the same place and we were all looking at Usopp’s works and I got to introduce everyone to everyone and that was great! You should have been there! Then I could have introduced you to everyone else and –”**

Law’s brows knit together. He tosses his phone to the side.

“ _Aw_ , Luffy!” Vivi coos. “How can you not like that guy?”

“Law can,” Nami points out, and Vivi opens her mouth, then closes it.

She opens it again, “Well yeah, I guess… but surely he’ll open up to him someday?”

“Not in the foreseeable future.”

“Should we take a look at Zoro now?” Robin suggests. “Out of the remaining three, his would be the most straightforward.”

“I agree,” Tashigi states.

Zoro is already lying in bed, his arm outstretched above his head as he uses his phone. He taps the screen, lets his arm fall back to his side, and shuts his eyes.

Law’s phone flashes again. He stares at it for a long moment, before sighing and moving to pick it up.

**ZORO >>> LAW**

**“We should spar sometime.”**

Law glances at Zoro and smirks.

“That was obvious,” Nami agrees. “Could Law be interested, though?”

“I think he might be,” Reiju stares at the screen. “Not often do you find someone who shares the same unique hobby as you. And Law seems to prefer the calmer, quiet sort – which Zoro seems to be as well.”

“Isn’t it ironic, though? If Law is intrigued by both Sanji and Zoro – but the two of them can’t get along?” Nami grins.

“Where is Luffy in this picture?” Vivi asks, chuckling. “The one that _Law_ can’t stand?”

“An elaborate mess of distaste and intrigue,” Nami nods her head. “I love it already.”

“Should we take a look at Kidd next? Or Sanji?” Tashigi asks. “I think… Kidd might be the more obvious choice, but then again, I can’t see Sanji messaging anyone other than Coby.”

“If Kidd really messages Sanji, that’ll mean Sanji’s been a really popular pick,” Reiju comments. “He’s been consistently picked since the first episode.”

“Meanwhile Zoro… hasn’t been picked at all,” Nami considers. “Wonder what he thinks of that.”

“He wouldn’t care too much,” Hancock pipes up. “These muscular sorts never pay too much attention to such things.”

“Zoro’s the sort whose charms will only be obvious to the one person that he’s truly interested in,” Reiju says. “He’s not the sort who’s naturally charming, or who’d easily charm everyone around him, like Sanji. I predict that we’ll see another side of him soon enough, once he’s let himself open up to another person. And that’s when all our viewers will see his true self shine.”

“Are _you_ charmed by him already?” Nami teases. Reiju quirks a smile.

“Not exactly. It’s just my prediction.”

“Who should we look at next?” Hancock demands. “Kidd or Sanji?”

“Let’s leave Mr. Popular to the last,” Nami says. “And take a look at Kidd’s.”

Kidd sends his message and leaves the phone by his bedside drawer. He stretches his arms out, long enough that his shoulders pop, and heaves a yawn.

Sanji is nearly lying on his bed when his phone screen flashes, once more. This time, a frown pulls at his forehead and he casts a wary glance at the phone, before hesitantly clicking on the message.

**KIDD >>> SANJI**

**“Bruise’s better now. Appreciate it.”**

“Yes!” Vivi pumps her fist in her air, and then turns to give Tashigi a high-5. “We’re close to getting our first crystals!”

“I wonder how the fight came about,” Robin tilts her head. “Kidd seems to be a dangerous sort, though he did make clear that he hadn’t been the one to initiate it. Perhaps as a mechanic, he is involved in gangs of the underground sort. Maybe the assailant had been keen to silence him, and now that he has failed, an entire gang might be on his heels.”

“Robin!” Vivi protests. “Could you not be so dark? I don’t want to see a gang fight on screen!”

“That’ll make for good ratings…” Nami purses her lips.

“ _Nami!”_

“Alright, alright,” Nami raises her palm in surrender. “We’ll just take a look at Sanji’s now.”

Sanji taps out a message, locks his phone screen, tosses it onto his bedside drawer, and then falls onto his pillow.

Coby jumps when his screen flashes, and then he turns to look at Luffy by his side, and then Kidd. His eyes are wide when he taps his phone awake.

**SANJI >>> COBY**

**“It was a good sunrise.”**

Coby barely suppresses a grin as he reads over the message. He places his phone back on his nightstand and pulls his covers up to his chin. “Could I switch the lights off?” he asks.

“Yeah!” Luffy chirps, while Kidd makes a non-committal grunt.

He reaches for the light switch and turns it off.

“Alright! Crystals for us all!” Nami grabs the crystals and distributes them. “Our first win!”

“It’s only going to get better and better from here!” Vivi says as she receives a crystal from Nami. It is diamond-shaped, and the dark of it seems to almost absorb the light. “It’s beautiful!”

“What do you think will happen today?” Robin asks. Nami hums, glancing at the board for a moment.

“Well, Zoro and Sanji have to replace the cutting board – I don’t think that’s something they can put off,” Nami answers. “And, oh right! The new guy!”

“I wonder how he will shake things up,” Reiju muses under her breath. “He seems… interesting.”

“Everyone seems interesting from the back,” Nami waves it off, and Reiju chuckles.

“Maybe.”

“Would Law and Sanji finally spend some time together jogging?” Vivi wonders. “I mean… Law has had his eye on Sanji since the beginning; it’d be interesting to see how things play out!”

“And if anyone new would cut in,” a smirk dances on Nami’s lips. “Alright, let’s go on and watch the episode!”

INT – GRAND LINE APARTMENT

Sanji blinks.

The stranger has a bag slung over his shoulder. Long brown hair is branded down the length of his back, and he turns in to the kitchen and drops the bag onto a chair.

The tap of steps down the staircase echoes in the empty living area, and Sanji glances up from the stranger to see Law enter. Law stares at the stranger for a moment, and then his gaze returns to Sanji.

“Hi,” Sanji tries. “You must be the new roommate?”

Law makes his way to the kitchen island as the stranger steps up to them. “Yeah,” he answers.

“Did you just get here?”

“Came straight from the airport,” he says. His voice is deep, mellow, and when he turns, the sides of his hair have been shaved into a mohawk. “Name’s Wyper.”

“Sanji,” Sanji says, reaching a hand out. Wyper takes it, and when they separate Law nods at him.

“Trafalgar Law,” he says.

Gold earrings dangle from either side of Wyper’s ear, not unlike the studs on Law’s. His brows are thick, eyes sharp; a tribal tattoo decorates around the left side of his face, curls around his eye and extends out into his temple.

 _“He looks… intense,”_ Vivi comments.

 _“Yeah,”_ Nami agrees. _“And I thought Law was intense.”_

“Nice ink,” Law observes.

“You said you came from the airport?” Sanji probes.

“I’m an environmentalist,” he answers instead, settling down into a chair as Law moves to the coffee machine. “Got a lot of travelling to do.”

“You want something?” Law asks, and Wyper shakes his head.

“Nah.”

“You must be exhausted then,” Sanji says. “Do you want to check out the bedroom? I could bring you. There are two rooms to choose from.”

“I don’t need much sleep,” Wyper answers, but doesn’t say anything more. The three of them descend into silence for a moment, with Sanji whipping up a quick breakfast and Law moving to sit across from Wyper with a coffee in hand.

“Where did you get that done?” Law breaks the silence, indicating Wyper’s tattoo. Wyper’s fingers reach out to graze the dark green ink along the arch of his brow bone.

He smirks, “Got it done by a friend. I see you have some inks too,” he nods at Law’s fingers, curled around his mug.

“I have more,” Law says.

“Yeah, me too,” Wyper answers. “Hidden by the winter.”

 _“Ooooooooh,”_ Nami drawls. _“Interesting.”_

 _“Hidden by the_ winter _,”_ Vivi repeats, giggling. _“How… titillating.”_

They exchange smirks, while Sanji finishes up with the porridge.

“Do you want some?” he asks. “I made more than enough for seven people… though this means that Luffy probably has to limit his own serving, but he deserves to anyway.”

“Did I hear my name?” A cheery voice bursts into the kitchen, and Law heaves a sigh as Luffy bumbles in, already glaring loud despite the early dawn. “Ooh, is that porridge? I want some, I want some!”

“You’ll have your share,” Sanji grumbles, ladling porridge into four bowls. Luffy hops over to the fridge and peeks in, grabbing a bunch of grapes with his bare hands and stuffing it into his mouth.

He moves over to the table as Sanji serves the bowls, jumping into the seat beside Law. “Yay! Thanks, Sanji!” Luffy reaches for a bowl, and then his eyes catch Law’s. “Oh, Torao! Didn’t see you there!”

“Thanks,” Law says to Sanji as he waits for Luffy to choose a bowl – the fullest one, apparently – before he brings his own closer to him.

It is only when Wyper leans in to take his own bowl that Luffy’s stare wanders over to his form. His mouth falls open midway through shovelling a spoonful of porridge. He blinks a few times and tilts his head. “Were you here before?”

“No, he wasn’t,” Sanji answers in Wyper’s stead, taking the last remaining bowl to his seat beside Wyper. “He just arrived.”

“Cool! What’s your name? I’m Luffy!”

“Wyper,” he answers.

“Your tattoos are cool,” Luffy says, leaning forward to get a closer look – though in the process his body nearly falls into Law’s porridge, and Law draws his bowl further in with a disgruntled grunt. “Are you a tattoo artist?”

“I’m an environmentalist,” he replies, slowly sipping on the porridge. His eyes widen a fragment, and he inclines his head slightly towards Sanji. “This is good.”

“There’s more if you want seconds,” Sanji says, a small grin perched on his lips as he brings his spoon up to his mouth.

“Ooh, cool! So, you do like, environment stuff, right? That’s sounds like fun! Sanji is a chef, that’s why his food is so good! Does that mean you’ll be able to help us grow all the plants downstairs?”

“… No.”

“Torao here is a doctor,” Luffy continues, slapping at Law’s arm. Law sucks an obvious breath in, but doesn’t say a word. “And we have Coby, who’s a police officer…”

“In-training,” Sanji supplies.

“… and Zoro, who does like, sword stuff –”

“Kendo,” Law corrects.

“—and Kidd who is like, a motorbike –”

“Mechanic,” Sanji clarifies.

“Someone does kendo?” Wyper quirks a brow up, and Law nods his head.

“You do sports too?”

“Yeah,” he answers. “I do MMA on the side.”

“Makes sense,” Sanji answers.

“Hey! Ace does MMA!” Luffy perks up. “It’s so cool. He doesn’t let me come and watch too often, though, but it’s so fun. I think I can do it too. I’m fast, you know?” He makes several quick jabs at the air.

 _“Aw, he’s adorable,”_ Vivi comments.

_“Annoying, more like it,” Nami scrunches her nose._

“Ace? You mean, Portgas D. Ace?” Wyper clarifies, and Luffy bobs his head up and down enthusiastically. “I know of him. But we’ve never met.”

“I’ll introduce the two of you someday. Also! Guys, did you see the note on the table?”

“What note?” Sanji asks.

“There’s this note on the coffee table –” Luffy bolts out of his seat and rushes to the coffee table. He grabs it and waves it in the air. “Shall we read it?”

“If it’s for everyone, maybe we should wait until everyone’s awake,” Sanji suggests.

“Okay!” Luffy says, and then turns to the stairwell. “GUYS! WAKE UP!”

“ _Not like that!”_ Sanji yells, but it’s too late. Luffy has already rushed up the stairs, and even from where they are they can hear his screams.

“Is he… always like that?” Wyper asks.

Law gives him a bland look. “You should stay with us in our room,” he indicates himself and Sanji.

When Luffy returns, it’s with an entourage of prisoners forced unceremoniously from out of their beds. They actually look as if they have been physically thrown out of their mattresses, and Kidd’s glare on Luffy is almost deathly, if not for the sad mop of red hair over his eyes.

“What the _fuck_ was that for?” Kidd growls, shoving Luffy’s hand away from his shoulder.

“You’d better have a good reason,” Zoro warns.

“We have a note!”

Sighing, Law drops his spoon into his porridge as the rest of them vacate their seats and move into the living room.

“Also, who’s that?” Zoro points out when Wyper enters. “Has he been here the whole time?”

“I’m Wyper,” comes his simple introduction.

“Alright, let’s see! So okay,” Luffy reads the message. “Ooh. Okay. Yeah, that sounds cool. Hmm. _Ooh_ , presents! Okay, fun!”

“… Luffy, can you actually read the note out loud, or at the very least explain what’s written on it?” Sanji asks.

“Um, Luffy, let me…” Coby takes the note from Luffy’s hand and scans through it quickly. “Alright, so… the basic gist is that we are going to have our first dates soon. Among the seven of us here, four of us have to buy Christmas presents for the remaining three. Each of the three will choose a present – except for one of them, who will get to choose two presents – and they will go on a date with the person whose present they have chosen. The person who buys the present also has to plan the date.”

“I want to receive a present!” Luffy says, and Sanji rolls his eyes.

“That’s not for you to decide.”

“So, how _should_ we decide this?” Zoro asks. “We need to split into four and three, right?”

“We could draw lots,” Coby suggests. The rest of them agree, and Coby makes quick work of tearing a slip of paper in seven. He colours in four of them with red ink, and then folds each of the slips in half.

They use Luffy’s hat to toss the slips of paper around, and then they each reach out to make their picks.

“I have red!” Luffy announces. “What does that mean?”

“So, do I,” Zoro points out.

“Yeah,” Kidd says.

“I have the last one,” Sanji holds up. “That means the four of us have to buy the gifts, correct?”

“Yes,” Coby answers. “You have to buy the gifts individually by the end of today and not let anyone know which gift is yours. This means that me, Law, and… um… Wyper will get to pick between the four gifts, and one of us will get to have two.”

“No fair!” Luffy pouts. “I wanted a gift too.”

“Cool,” Kidd says. “I’m heading back to bed.”

“Me too,” Zoro says.

They file back up the stairs, and Coby heads to the dining table with the rest of them.

INT – TV STUDIO

“The first date!” Nami squeals, clapping her hands. “So… Luffy, Zoro, Kidd, and Sanji have to buy the gifts. That means they cannot date each other.”

“That means that the two testosterone-infested men won’t get to go on a date, which is precisely what you hoped to avoid, isn’t it, Hancock?” Reiju smiles, and Hancock scoffs.

“ _Fortunately_.”

“That also means that there will be no chance for Zoro and Sanji to argue with one another over what’s meant to be a nice romantic date,” Nami sighs. “Bummer.”

“You really live for the drama, don’t you, Nami?” Vivi chuckles, and Nami grins in return.

“That’s the fun of it!”

“I suppose it is nice that Wyper doesn’t have to buy presents on the first day he joins,” Robin says. “He must be exhausted from his travels, too.”

“Do you know what this means?” Tashigi points out, her tone hitching higher in her enthusiasm. “This means that Sanji could potentially go on a date with either Law or Coby!”

 _“Oooooh,”_ Nami and Vivi echo in unison.

“Sanji and Coby would be adorable,” Nami agrees. “But I’d also love for Sanji and Law to finally be able to spend some time together. We need to see if the two of them would work out!”

“If they don’t, maybe Law can finally open his eyes to someone else,” Vivi says, and she hides a grin behind her hand. “Maybe someone absolutely _adorable_ could pierce through his guard. Maybe someone like…”

“Luffy?” Robin smiles, and Vivi bobs her head excitedly.

“Don’t you think they’d be adorable together? Law – the quiet, grouchy type; Luffy – the bright, bubbly, overly friendly type?”

“That would make a good drama, certainly,” Robin agrees. “I do think that a fair bit of work has to be done on Luffy’s part to change Law’s mind; however, should he accomplish it, it would be rather satisfying to watch.”

“Zoro and Kidd both don’t have clear targets yet,” Hancock points out. “ _Obviously_ , since they are both as interesting as the dirt embedded in my heels. But they both like sparring, so Wyper seems to be right up their alley.”

“What do you think of Wyper so far?” Nami asks around the table. Vivi presses her lips together.

“He seems… intense. But everyone in the apartment has very strong personalities so far, so…” Vivi shrugs. “As long as there is no conflict, I think it should be okay?”

“Could you imagine if he was another Luffy?” Reiju’s eyes twinkle. “There would be some… members in the household who would have been _very opposed_ to the new member.”

“That’d have been fun,” Nami says. “Anyway, shall we continue?”

INT – CAFÉ

A pair of feet swing up and down from where they are perched on the seat of a cushioned chair. When a cup lands on the table, the legs stop mid-oscillation, and then the person grins.

“Ace!” Luffy leaps out from his seat and throws his arms around a taller man. The man laughs, freckles blossoming on the apples of his cheeks as he does. “Where’s Sabo?”

“We’re doing a tag team today,” Ace says, making to sit across from Luffy once Luffy has disentangled himself from him. “I can only stay long enough for a short chat, and Sabo will be here to help you pick out the Christmas gift. Actually… isn’t Christmas in three days?”

“Yeah! But they only told us we had to get a gift now! I don’t know what to buy… usually I’ll just get some beef jerky for everyone to share.” Luffy wraps his hands around the hot chocolate and leans his face over the curling steam.

“So, how is it?” Ace leans back and folds his arms across his chest. “How are the people there?”

“They are all cool! I think you’ll like them. There’s Coby – he has _pink hair_! – and he is a police office, or gonna be one, I don’t know. He’s younger than me! And then there’s Jaggy – he does motorbikes or plays in a rock band or lives in a garage or something like that – and he has a lip piercing and red hair! The three of us are roommates!”

“Then in the other room there’s Sanji – he’s a chef, Ace, a _chef_! Wasn’t that our dream – to live with a chef one day? And it’s amazing, he cooks all this really good food and he gets all grumpy and mad about chopping boards – he’s great! And there is Torao, who is a doctor – and he has _DEATH_ tattoos on his fingers! Isn’t it cool? And he gave me money to buy food one day, he’s great! There is also Zoro¸ who has _green hair_ and plays with swords and has three earrings in one ear! And there’s this new guy too, called uh… Wyper? Yeah, he does environment stuff! _Oh_ , and he does MMA too, like you!”

“Wyper?” Ace nods his heads. “Yeah, I’ve heard of him. Think I’ve seen one of his matches, too. He’s really good.” He pauses for a while, “So… what do you think of them?”

“Well, I dunno. Haven’t spent that much time with them yet. Coby is really nice and easy to talk to! Zoro’s quiet, but kinda nice too. Jaggy’s always upset that I call him Jaggy, isn’t that funny? Sanji’s nice and kind! Torao is grumpy, but he gave me food so I think he’s nice! I haven’t really spoken to the new guy yet, but he has a mohawk and tattoo across his eye, so I think he’s nice!”

“It’s just like you to think that a person with a mohawk and tattoo across his eye is _nice_ ,” Ace grins, leaning forward now to rest his cheek in his palm. “Are you interested in any of them yet? Or do you want to get to know any specific person better?”

“Hm…” Luffy muses.

“You don’t have to give me a name. Just… is there someone in mind that you’re intrigued by? Since your present is going to determine your first date, you should probably have someone in mind to give it to.”

“Hm… pink hair is cool, but so is red hair! And green hair! And tattoos are cool too!” Luffy scrunches his brows together. “Well, but there are only three people I can give it to anyway! So, it’s not like I can give it to whoever I want.”

“Then you should probably have one of the three in mind when you pick your present,” Ace says. “Out of the three, who do you want to get to know the most?”

Luffy juts his lips out into a pout, his gaze drifting out the window. “I dunno… I guess I know one of them more than the rest, so maybe not him.”

“And?” Ace probes.

“Maybe I could find something for the other two? Hm. But I don’t know what they’d want though. Ooh, maybe a snow globe! Or, or… a Gundam figurine!”

“That’s what _you_ want, Luffy,” Ace points out. “Is that supposed to be a hint for me and Sabo?”

“Heh… heh,” Luffy grins. He takes a big gulp of his hot chocolate and asks, “What would _you_ like to receive as a gift from someone you don’t know very well?”

“A belt?” Ace suggests. “A leather bracelet?” He rubs at the back of his neck. “Yeah, you’re right. This is tough. Maybe Sabo will have a better idea. You should just walk around and take a look and see what catches your attention.”

“Yeah,” Luffy agrees, finishing his hot chocolate.

INT – MALL

It is nearly dusk. The sky burns orange, and wisps of clouds scatter across its seared canvas. Dress shoes step through a threshold, hands tucked casually into pockets.

“Oh?” Sanji raises a brow as he walks up to a familiar head of green. He glances over at the shorter figure bouncing up beside him, grin split across a round face.

“Sanji! We waited for so long!” Luffy says.

“Didn’t know you’d be joining today,” he answers, smiling. He jerks his head at Zoro, “Marimo asked you to tag along?”

“Who the hell is _marimo_ –” Zoro protests, but his words are cut off by Luffy’s laugh.

“I got home today and there was no one home but Zoro, and he said he was going out to meet you. I didn’t want to be at home all alone, so I tagged along!”

They walk along a set of stores, with Sanji leading the way as Luffy blabbers on about his brother’s shenanigans.

“So apparently Ace’s shirt was on fire, Thatch was screaming for help but the door was locked, and Izo’s iron pipe was burning his skin –”

“We’re here,” Sanji says, turning into a store. It’s a specialised store for cooking equipment, and Sanji wanders towards the aisle with the chopping boards and begins to look them over, while Zoro makes half-hearted grunts at Luffy’s now running commentary – having been disrupted out of his story the moment they stepped foot into the store.

“Look at this one,” Luffy nearly grabs a knife, but Zoro holds his shirt back in time. “Do you fight with these too?”

“No,” Zoro says, with the exasperation of someone who’s been forced to repeat himself a dozen times in the same day. “I use a _katana_ , not some ordinary kitchen knife.”

“Hey, Christmas is coming soon! We’ll all be spending it together, right?” Luffy brings up as Sanji picks out a board. He ambles along behind Sanji. “We should do something fun! Like a party! A huge meat party!”

“What even is a huge _meat_ party…” Sanji responds.

“Actually, we should do meat parties every week. Every day! But no, wait, this is Christmas, so it’s gotta be special…” Luffy rubs at the bottom of his chin as Sanji waves Zoro over.

“C’mere, don’t shirk out of paying,” he says. Zoro glares at him as he walks up to the counter.

“Wasn’t planning to, _curly brow_.” He pulls out a card and slams it onto the table with unnecessary force, and the cashier’s eyes dart between the two of them as he carefully picks the card up and taps it onto the reader.

“I know!” Luffy slams his fist into his palm with such absurd impact that the cashier jolts in shock, and the card nearly clatters out of his fingers. “We could invite Santa!”

“Invite… _Santa_?” Sanji echoes as he receives the bag over from the cashier’s hand.

“Or, I know – even better! We could _be_ Santa!” Luffy twists his neck to look at Sanji, and Zoro, and then Sanji again, eyes almost impossibly wide. “We could be Santa and surprise the rest of them!”

Zoro’s brows have risen so high into his hairline, it’s nearly hidden from sight. “Yeah… _no_.”

“Come on!” Luffy grabs at Zoro’s sleeve and begins tugging at it incessantly. “It’ll be so fun! We could do like, those mall Santa-type stuff! Oh, I know! I can be Santa and you and Sanji can be my elves! It’ll be so fun!”

“… And, what, you want each of them to sit on your lap and tell you what they want for Christmas?” Sanji asks, and Luffy nods his head with such vigour, his neck almost looks like it might snap.

“Yeah! Yeah! Or maybe we could do like… a test! They have to pass a test before they can enter the apartment and eat the meat feast! Doesn’t that sound like fun?”

“…” Sanji and Zoro exchange glances as they leave the store and head towards the parking lot. “What… sort of test?” Sanji tries.

“Hm,” Luffy frowns again, tapping at his chin with his index finger. “They must tell me what their favourite part of Christmas is! If they don’t, they’ll have to do a penalty!”

The equal part amusement, equal part disinterest is blatant on their expressions, but if Luffy sees it, he doesn’t show it. Instead, he hops around, hooking onto Sanji’s shirt sleeve with his other hand.

“Come on, come on, let’s do it! It’ll be so fun! It could be like a Christmas tradition, you know? You always need new traditions with new groups of friends!”

“… I’d kill to see Law’s expression,” Sanji says slowly, meeting Zoro’s eyes on the other side.

“… Kidd might throw a punch,” Zoro agrees. And then he shrugs, “What the hell? We might never see them again after this. Might as well make a memory of it.”

“I can’t believe I’m saying this,” Sanji shakes his head, almost chuckling. “Let’s do it, you shitty idiot.”

“Really? Yay! It’ll be so much fun!” Somehow Luffy’s managed to curl his arms around both Zoro and Sanji’s shoulders without either of them noticing, and he draws them into a tight, haphazard hug of flailing limbs. “It’s going to be so much fun. They’re not gonna know what hit them!”

INT – GRAND LINE APARTMENT

“Something’s cooking,” Sanji observes the moment they return home, lifting his nose up to the air. “Mac and cheese?” he guesses.

“You’re like a dog,” Zoro comments offhandedly, and Sanji whips his head over to him.

“ _What did you say?”_

“I love mac and cheese!” Luffy whoops, dashing up the stairs. When he reaches, he’s greeted to the sight of Kidd and Wyper at the kitchen counter, with Coby hovering around them nervously. Coby turns as Luffy arrives, and he smiles.

“Luffy! You’re home!”

“Yeah! Are you cooking dinner?”

“They are,” Coby indicates Kidd and Wyper. “They were the first ones home.”

“Only thing I know how to make,” Wyper comments, and Kidd jabs a thumb in his direction.

“Just following him,” he says. Zoro and Sanji arrive at the second storey, and Sanji nods at each of them before heading upstairs while Zoro strides over.

“Chopping board,” he says, replacing the new chopping board with the old beaten one in the drawer. “Smells good.”

“Smells burnt,” another voice says. It’s Law. His hair is slightly wet and messy from his shower, and he frowns as he moves toward the stovetop. “You should mix it.”

Kidd scrapes the bottom with the wooden spatula, scooping out charred macaroni bits out into the open. He raises his brow. “Huh.”

Sanji arrives, and he looks over the pot. “Right…” he says, quickly stepping behind the counter and taking the pot off the heat. “Could use a little more milk, lower heat…”

“I’ll just let you handle it,” Kidd says, sitting down at the end of the dining table as Wyper hands Sanji the milk. “So… first dates tomorrow, huh?”

 _“Ooh. Is he broaching the topic?”_ Nami asks.

 _“Didn’t expect him to be the first one to!_ ” Vivi agrees.

Luffy sits down across from him. “Yeah! It was so difficult choosing a present.” Luffy drapes his body over the table, squishing his cheek down onto its surface. “Lucky Sabo helped, or I’d have been stuck forever.”

“Um…” Coby begins hesitantly, playing with the fabric of his sweater. “Did you… buy a present or plan the date with someone in mind?” he tries, glancing furtively towards the kitchen before dropping his gaze.

“Not really,” Luffy says, but then pauses. “Actually, kinda. I guess. Not sure.”

“What kind of an answer is that?” Zoro laughs. “Yeah. I’ve got someone in mind.”

 _“He has someone in mind!”_ Vivi repeats excitedly.

 _“And we thought he had no target,”_ Nami says.

“I don’t,” Kidd admits, leaning back. He angles his head slightly to Sanji’s direction. “You?”

“Me?” Sanji repeats, tossing the macaroni in cheese. “Well… yeah. I suppose.”

“Oh right,” Luffy raises his head. “How old are you?” he says, as Wyper helps ladle the food into plates.

“Twenty-six,” Wyper says.

“Law’s still the oldest, then,” Coby comments. “I’m twenty. Luffy’s twenty-one. Zoro and Sanji are twenty-three, Kidd is twenty-five, and Law is twenty-eight.”

Soon enough they are piled around the table. It is awkward, for a while, until Coby attempts to break the silence. “Um… so we’ll be going on dates throughout tomorrow and Christmas Eve,” he says. “That’ll be… interesting, won’t it?”

“Never been out on a date so close to Christmas before,” Kidd agrees. “Gonna be noisy. And crowded. Should bring whoever-it-is to the middle of the forest. That’ll drown the festivities out.”

“Nice,” Zoro grins. “Yeah. Holidays aren’t my thing.”

“I love the holidays!” Luffy says once he’s finished his third serving of food. “Everyone’s at home, even Gramps – sometimes even Shanks! And we’ll all have this huge party with lots and lots of food and Sengoku might stop by with some _huuuuuge_ cake that someone had given to him and sometimes Ace’s friends would come too and they are so much fun!”

“Your family sounds amazing, Luffy,” Coby smiles, and Luffy nods his head.

“Yeah! They are! I’d love to invite them here and introduce them to you, but Ace said it was against the rules or whatever so,” Luffy sticks out his tongue. “Bleh. Maybe after though! Afterwards we can all meet up and have a huge feast in my house! Usopp can lie and Brook can play some music –”

“For us, it’s a smaller celebration,” Coby contributes. “It is just me and my parents… and usually my best friend, Helmeppo, would stop by as well. It’s nice, though. We just gather in front of the TV and watch game shows and try to bet on the winning contestant…”

“I celebrate with the guys at the restaurant,” Sanji says. “They are a riot but… it’s nice.”

“Yeah, I just hang out with my gang at the shop. Drink beer and play games and shit. Sometimes screw up a car really bad, throw some wrenches in it and tear it apart into scraps. No presents or trees or that sort of crap.” Kidd grins. “Pretty fun.”

“Christmas trees are environmental hazards,” Wyper finally speaks up. His fist curls into his spoon. “They are ridiculous capitalistic inventions and whether artificial or nature, the very manufacture and sale of them year after year costs a ridiculous expense to the environment. If you want a fucking tree to drape fucking fairy lights on and deposit presents under, you can just use a large potted plant at home that you won’t be immediately sending into the incinerator after _one single use_. Or get your kids to draw a huge tree and stick it on the wall or something. Christmas traditions are fucking _ridiculous_.”

Silence stills the atmosphere as Wyper fumes at his seat.

 _“He isn’t wrong,”_ Robin comments. _“People should look for alternatives when it comes to such yearly wastages.”_

 _“I guess he_ is _an environmentalist,”_ Nami shrugs.

 _“Intense…”_ Vivi echoes her sentiment from before.

Sanji breaks the tension. “You’re right,” he answers, standing to move to the sink. “We don’t do Christmas trees at the restaurant either. But some traditions make people go ballistic if unfollowed, even if there’s no reason to follow them anymore.”

“Speaking of presents under trees,” Coby hastily follows. “Have you put your presents under the… uh… staircase?”

“Yeah!” Luffy chirps. “Mine’s there!”

“Yeah,” Zoro and Kidd nod their head, and Sanji chimes alongside them from his position at the sink.

“I guess now it’s just up to us to… pick and choose a gift,” Coby says.

“We’ll head up then,” Sanji says, rolling his eyes when Luffy whines about wanting to watch them pick. He grabs Luffy by the collar, and the four of them head upstairs.

“I… guess I’ll go grab the presents?” Coby says, and makes for downstairs.

Law rests his palm on Wyper’s shoulder for a second. “I get what you mean about the trees,” he says. “We don’t have a tree here. Won’t put one up, either. Don’t worry about it.”

“I know,” he answers, smoothing over his frown. “Just had to say it.”

Coby returns and places the presents on the coffee table. “Shall we open them?” Coby suggests, and the three of them dig in.

The huge, soft, wonky-shaped item is – of course – a large fluffy white teddy bear. A tinier, oddly-sized item is a small cactus in a turquoise pot. In a paper bag there is a long, slightly thin woollen scarf that’s grey-blue in colour, and a candle that reads ‘sea breeze’; and finally, in the smallest package there is a slightly fluffy, black sports headband, crinkled at the edges.

“How should we pick?” Law asks.

“We could do a rock-scissors-paper, and the winner gets to choose first?” Coby suggests. Law hums in agreement and they form a circle, holding their fists behind their back.

“Rock – paper – scissors!”

Wyper wins, and he instantly reaches for the little cactus plant, looking over the pot and dipping his finger into the soil.

“I’ll take this one,” he decides. “Christmas cactus,” a smile curls up his lips. “Sounds about right.”

Law and Coby play again, and this time Law wins. He barely gives the bear a glance before turning to the scarf and the headband. He grazes his fingers across the surface of the wool, and picks it up to assess its delicate stitching.

 _“Watching him,”_ Tashigi comments, _“It’s no surprise he’s a doctor.”_

He then looks over at the headband and grabs it by either end, testing its flexibility by pulling onto it gently. Frowning slightly, he replaces it back, and then folds the scarf neatly and places it back into its bag, alongside the candle.

“I’ll take this,” he says, bringing the paper bag to his side. Coby frowns a little at the bag, though he shifts his gaze over to the rest of the items.

“This is probably more necessary for me,” Coby says, reaching out for the headband. “My hair is getting a little long.”

“Who’s going to take the last?” Wyper asks, and both Law and Coby turn to him.

“You should,” Law says. “You’re new. You should be given an additional opportunity to get to know them.”

“Yeah,” Coby agrees. “Go ahead.”

Wyper’s brows pull inward as he stares at the huge bear. He lets loose a sigh. “Alright,” he complies, picking it up and stuffing it under his arm.

There is a note in each of their presents, and they take the time to read through it before heading back to their respective rooms.

INT – TV STUDIO

“The almighty first date!” Nami announces. “This time around, we have to guess who they are going on a date with!”

“I would honestly have loved to see Law and Wyper on a date,” Vivi says, “because of their shared love for… tattooed inks, I guess. And they seem like they might get along too – mutual dislike of Luffy, and all. But guess that’s not happening.”

“The Luffy-Zoro-Sanji friendship group is adorable,” Nami says. “I can already foresee the chaos. Luffy’s no mediator, and Zoro and Sanji are giving off strong rivalry vibes. It is going to be _havoc_.” A grin splits her face.

“I do hope that Kidd and Zoro might finally find a potential love interest from the first dates,” Robin says. “They haven’t yet shown much interest in anyone, and vice versa. Though it is interesting that Zoro said that he bought his present with a person in mind.”

“If he did, it should be Wyper,” Reiju guesses, “since he is an environmentalist. But then again, Zoro doesn’t know that, does he?”

“Maybe he planned the _date_ with someone in mind?” Nami guesses, pursing her lips. “Unless he saw Wyper’s inks and mohawk and braided hair and thought: Yeah, this guy must be a plant-guy.” She cackles a little at the very thought.

“Maybe plants recognise those that care for them,” Reiju joins in. “Marimo and an environmentalist.”

“I am more intrigued by what Sanji had said,” Tashigi pipes in. “He said that he had someone in mind… that must be Coby!”

“Or Law,” Nami adds.

“He hasn’t spent much time yet with Law; how could it be him?” Tashigi questions, and Nami leans forward.

“It’s _precisely_ because he hasn’t spent much time with Law that he’d want to try for a date with him,” she says. “Also, Law’s been messaging him, so Sanji could be curious.”

“Remember that nothing has yet been set in stone,” Robin says, “And in this early stage, they have more freedom to be curious and to explore their options. My guess would be on Law, as well.”

“How about Luffy?” Hancock asks. “Luffy makes it sound like he has _somewhat_ of an idea who he wants to go on a date with.”

“He did say it to Ace, didn’t he? That he has two options in mind,” Vivi recalls. “He dismissed the last option because he said he knew that person well enough, so it must be Law – or Coby.”

“Wyper is definitely one of his options,” Nami agrees. “No one knows _anything_ about him yet. Except that he’s a fanatic about the environment – but that only came after.”

“Kidd has no one in mind,” Vivi considers. “I mean, I’m not surprised. I just hope he finds someone soon. He _has_ been messaging whoever who comes his way.”

“He actually seems like a pretty cool guy,” Nami agrees. “Just needs a little more push in the right direction.”

“I think we can all agree that the large teddy bear is Luffy’s?” Reiju asks around. Nami laughs.

“Neither of the other three would’ve bought a _teddy bear_ ,” she shakes her head. “Didn’t he go shopping with one of his brothers? What did he advise him?”

“Perhaps that was the most he could do,” Robin inclines her head. “Luffy is… certainly a character.”

“I think the snow globe might have been a better option,” Tashigi comments.

“It is, but it is also quite generic,” Vivi answers. “At least this gives a sense of his personality. Though I honestly expected Coby to go for the bear instead of the headband – out of all three of them, he looked like the only one who’d appreciate it.”

“I think he was trying to look out for Sanji’s present, actually,” Nami says. “Sanji would _never_ give a teddy bear. His present was probably the scarf or… the cactus? I suppose? I can’t imagine Sanji giving a headband as a present either, but I guess better that than something that’s _definitely not_ Sanji’s gift.”

“This means that we know Wyper is going on a date with Luffy,” Vivi says, and Nami makes to draw a line from Wyper to Luffy. “Unless there’s a huge twist that we haven’t anticipated.”

“Maybe Zoro bought the bear,” Tashigi stifles a chuckle. “And Luffy’s the scarf.”

“Which would force Law back into suffering through Luffy’s antics,” Nami claps her hand together. “I _love_ it.”

“The blue-grey doesn’t seem like a colour Luffy would choose,” Hancock assesses. “He is a loud and boisterous person. Blue is too dull a colour for him.”

“ _Unless_ he has a very definite person in mind,” Nami’s lips are sharp as they twist upward. “But we’re just guessing that for fun. Luffy did say he didn’t know who he wanted between the two, so he probably just found something a little more generic.”

“Hm… how about the plant?” Tashigi considers. “It does seem like a Sanji-type present, since he did notice the little garden on the first day… I doubt it’d be Kidd’s.”

“It could be Zoro’s too,” Reiju says. “Seems like the sort of gift you’ll buy if you don’t really have any idea on what else to get. Sanji seems more thoughtful about buying presents.”

“If it is Zoro, that means that Wyper’s second date would be with Zoro,” Nami says. “I think it’s Zoro’s too, but I’m not too sure about it. The scarf seems more a Sanji-type thing.”

“That would leave Kidd with the headband,” Robin concludes. “It seems a possible fit.”

“Are we going with this then?” Nami asks. “This means that Wyper would be going on dates with both Luffy and Zoro, Law would be going with Sanji, and… Coby would be going with Kidd.”

“I like the latter two,” Vivi grins. “Law’s been wanting to hang out with Sanji, and Coby _did_ send a message to Kidd once before.”

“I can see Zoro getting along with Wyper… but Wyper with Luffy?” Tashigi frowns. “Might get a little… chaotic.”

“I think we have it,” Reiju confirms. “I cannot see another more possible combination. Kidd wouldn’t give a cactus, nor a bear. And he seems more a headband-type of person than a scarf.”

“Alright then,” Nami draws the arrows between the respective pairings. “We’ll have to wait till next week to see if we’ve gotten it right!”

“I can’t wait!” Vivi grins, clapping her hands together.

“Yeah,” Nami agrees. “It’ll be fun.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> writing just descriptions and dialogues is hard guys but i don't know how i still manage to write so much without thoughts / introspection scattered in-between.
> 
> anyway! dates are incoming and things are going to start happening! let's go!


	4. illusions made into reality (part 1)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is over 8k words again, folks! also, i have to split the first dates into two chapters, so this is the first half. enjoy!

**chapter four: illusions made into reality (part 1)**

EXT – ROAD SIDE

Someone is waiting by the road. He scuffs his shoes against the pavement, his fingers fiddling with the switch on his phone.

 _“Oh, we’re going right into it?”_ Nami says. _“Who is this?”_

A light breeze hides his hands in the warmth of his velvet-lined coat pocket; the smooth, slightly glossy blue sheen of the material glistening under the sun. He bites at his lower lip and hangs his head low, a dark grey beanie fitted snugly over the crown of his head.

At the growl of an engine, he brings his gaze up. Loose strands of pink hair fall over his eyes, but he doesn’t make to tuck them away. Instead, his brows raise as his eyes widen in recognition, and a hesitant smile passes his lips.

 _“Coby!”_ Vivi exclaims.

A foot rests on the ground, boot digging into the asphalt. A large, brown faux fur coat drapes over his shoulder, and his bright red locks have been pushed aside by a dark headband.

He grins at Coby, the thin metal band of his ring dancing on his lower lip. “You’re my date?” he asks.

 _“It’s Kidd!”_ Vivi and Nami yells in unison.

 _“That’s one pairing down! We’re getting closer to the crystal!”_ Nami grins.

“I… yeah,” Coby answers, and pulls his hands from his pockets. On his right wrist is the headband that Kidd had gifted, wrapped over twice around the base of his palm. “Guess so. Are you… surprised?”

“Nah,” Kidd says. “Helmet’s in the back. Hop on.” He jerks his chin at the seat of his motorbike. “You ain’t scared to ride, right?”

“Um… no,” Coby answers, retrieving the second helmet from the saddle bag. “Do I just…?” He looks at Kidd, but Kidd doesn’t hear him. Hesitantly, Coby fits himself behind Kidd, making sure to leave some space between the two of them.

“Ready?” Kidd asks at the dip of weight behind him. “You gotta hold on tight.”

“I – okay.” He gingerly closes his fingers around the fabric of Kidd’s coat, and Kidd nearly laughs.

“Don’t act like we’re fucking prepubescent teens,” Kidd says, fingers wrapping around Coby’s wrist. “You’ll die,” is all the warning he gives, before he gives Coby a sharp pull and the younger man goes crashing right into Kidd’s back, his arms instinctually circling around Kidd’s waist.

Coby jumps, his cheeks bright pink. Before he can pull back, though, Kidd slams on the pedal and the motorbike jerks to life – and then they go whizzing into the road.

 _“That is so cliché,”_ Nami laughs _, “But on someone like Coby? I’m loving it.”_

 _“The bad-guy act never gets old!”_ Vivi agrees, grinning so wide her lips might split. _“But Coby is too adorable!”_

 _“I wonder where their first stop might be,”_ Robin chimes in.

INT – BARBECUE RESTAURANT

They are seated in the corner of a restaurant. The lunch crowd has not yet trickled in, and the restaurant only has a handful of occupied tables, all spaced far apart from one another. Chatter hums in the background.

The table is low, the lights warm over their faces. Kidd looks over at Coby, “You really ain’t drinking? Beer’s the best for meat.”

“Um… I don’t drink too much,” he answers. Kidd shrugs, and then waves the waiter over.

“Two Cokes,” he orders. Coby stares at him in surprise, and Kidd gives him a look. “What? Not gonna drink if you ain’t comfortable with it.”

 _“He seems to be quite the gentleman,”_ Reiju remarks.

 _“A barbecue restaurant? For a first date? In the middle of the afternoon?”_ Hancock scoffs. _“He might have some decency, but he has absolutely no delicacy!”_

 _“That’s exactly what Coby needs_ ,” Nami’s grin is sharp and evil as she looks up at Hancock. _“Someone…_ spicy _.”_

The waiter leaves with their order, and silence hovers between them. Coby plays with the sleeve of his sweater, until his fingers graze the soft black band around his wrist. He looks up, away, and then back at Kidd again.

“Thanks for the headband,” he says. “What made you think of it?”

“The headband?” Kidd replies, leaning against the wall and stretching out his legs. “Couldn’t really think of what to get you guys, so my friend said I should just get something useful. I use headbands all the time at work and some of y’all have pretty long hair, so figured it wasn’t too bad a choice.” He glances at the band, still wrapped around Coby’s wrist. “What made you choose it?”

“I, uh… I chose it because I needed something like it,” Coby admits. “As you said, my hair’s getting pretty long and it is starting to get bothersome when I go out for runs, and beanies and caps aren’t the most breathable things to wear. I… have never actually worn one before, though.” He tugs the headband up with his index and thumb, then releases it back with a snap.

“It’s easy,” Kidd says. “Now’s the perfect time to try it. Take off your beanie.”

“Huh?”

“I’ll show ya,” he juts his chin out at Coby’s direction. “Take off the beanie.”

Coby slips the beanie off his head, and his hair spills out over his forehead. He shakes his head, trying to jostle some strands back into place, to no avail.

“Wear it over your neck,” Kidd instructs, indicating the headband. Coby takes the band off from his wrist and gives it a careful pull, watching as the elastic elongates. “What’re you waiting for?”

“You mean… fit it around my head?” Coby frowns. Kidd rolls his eyes, before deliberately curling his fingers around his own headband. He gives Coby a steady look, and then yanks his headband down such that it rests around the circumference of his neck.

His red hair flops over his eyes, soft and nearly brown in the light. “Wear it over your neck,” he repeats. 

Carefully, Coby makes to stretch the band. It opens around the crown of his head, until his fingers slip. The band snaps and skids over his hair – and then promptly bounces straight into the bowl laid out in front of him.

Kidd’s cheeks balloon. Red rises up Coby’s neck, blossoms in the edges of his ears. When Coby drops his chin to his chest as his hands fumble for purchase in the bowl, laughter explodes from Kidd’s lips.

Coby resolutely keeps his gaze low as he stretches the band out once again and quickly pulls it over his head. “What next?” he asks, fingers clutching onto the edges of the band around his neck like a lifeline.

“That was –” A bubble of laughter trickles out of Kidd’s mouth again, and Coby draws his chin even closer to his chest. “Okay, okay – alright, so next you just gotta pull one end up over your head. Look at me.”

Traces of mirth are still clear in the wide smile of Kidd’s face as he lifts the end curled around the front of his neck up, where it settles at the edge of his forehead.

“Like this,” he says. Coby follows suit, pushing his band right up to his hairline. He tugs the band behind his ears, and then pats the crown of his head, smoothing the hair straight.

“Oh, that’s… easy,” Coby says. “Thanks.”

“No problem,” Kidd answers. The meat arrives, nicely marbled with slim shavings of fat, and so do the vegetables and other side dishes. The grill heats as the waiter switches it on, and Coby stares at the pile of dishes.

“That’s…” he doesn’t continue his words.

“I eat a lot,” Kidd shrugs. “How’d you like it?”

“Huh?”

“The meat,” Kidd clarifies, gesturing to the platters of pork belly and marinated chicken and beef tenderloin.

“I… guess fully cooked?” Coby tries. Kidd rolls his eyes, but his lips dance.

“I’m gonna show you how to eat,” he declares. By now, the grill has already warmed enough that heat emanates from its steel surface. “First, we gotta start with something greasy.” He picks up a strip of pork belly and places it over the grill. It sizzles immediately, fat bubbling and melting out from the meat, coating the pan with oil.

When it is nearly done, Kidd lifts up the pork belly and begins cutting it into chunks with a pair of scissors. He plops the first piece into Coby’s bowl.

“Try it,” he says.

Coby picks it up and blows at it, the smoke trailing away from his mouth as he does. He lifts it to his lips and cautiously takes a bite, before almost immediately pulling away. “ _Ah_ ,” he exclaims, fanning at his tongue. “It’s hot!”

“’Course it is,” Kidd snickers, placing a few more pieces into Coby’s bowl and putting the remaining into his own while Coby attempts the pork belly once more. Coby’s brows raise as his piece of meat seem cool enough against his lips, and then he puts the rest of it into his mouth.

His eyes widen. “It’s… really good.”

“Yeah,” Kidd answers, now placing one piece of tenderloin down. “This place has great quality meat.”

Coby munches on his meat as he watches Kidd sear one side of the tenderloin, then flip it to the other side. “Aren’t you eating? Your meat’s going to get cold.”

“More important to cook it right first,” Kidd states. Coby pauses for a moment, glancing at the slices of pork belly in Kidd’s bowl.

 _“Oh my,”_ Vivi holds her breath. _“Is he going to do it? He should totally do it!”_

Coby swallows his piece. Kidd is still watching over the tenderloin, pressing it slightly with the tip of the tongs. Fat sizzles and dissolve out from the meat.

Coby takes a deep breath. He picks up his chopsticks, leans in, and grabs at the nearest slice that he can see. Kidd doesn’t seem to have noticed, and it’s only when Coby lifts the meat up to Kidd’s lips that Kidd leans back, eyes wide.

At the slice of meat hovering in front of his mouth, Kidd lets out a breath. The corners of his lips twitch. Coby tries not to look at him as he opens his mouth and inches forward, snatching the meat out from Coby’s chopsticks.

 _“He did it!”_ Nami gasps.

 _“He did!”_ Vivi cheers.

“Thanks,” Kidd says, while Coby draws his arm back, quick as a snap. “Tenderloin looks ‘bout done, too.”

“Done?” he frowns. “It’s still a little pink –”

“That’s how you gotta eat it,” Kidd says, picking a chunk up with his chopsticks. He brings it to Coby’s mouth and nods at the younger man. “Try it.”

“I…” Coby glances at the slight pink of the beef.

“It won’t kill you. Try it,” Kidd insists, pushing the meat closer. At Kidd’s persistent chopstick dancing beneath his nose, Coby relents, biting on the meat gingerly and bringing it into his mouth.

Kidd watches as he chews, slowly; as his eyes slowly grow large and as he nods his head, licking at his lips when he’s done.

“Good, right?”

“Yeah…” Coby agrees. “It’s really good.”

“Told ya.”

The two of them continue on like this for a while, Kidd grilling the meat and portioning it out while Coby eats and sometimes feeds Kidd. When they are nearly done, they lean back in their seats, the plates nearly emptied and their Cokes three-quarters empty.

“How do you… find it, so far?” Coby ventures. Kidd glances up.

“You mean, the house?”

“Yeah.”

Kidd tilts his head up, the ring on his lip catching the light. “Everyone seems pretty interesting, I dunno. Weird as hell, though.”

“Ah, yeah…” Coby smiles a little.

“What’s up with that Luffy guy, man? He refuses to call me by my name! He just keeps calling me Jaggy – and calls Law something like, what, Torao?” Kidd continues. “What the _fuck_ is Jaggy? At least Law’s got something remotely close to his name!”

Coby bites down on his lower lip a little as his smile widens.

“That Wyper dude was really weird with his sudden Christmas tree rant. I can respect that he loves nature and the environment and whatnot, but he just started going _off_. But apparently Luffy said he does MMA? That’s pretty cool.”

“Everyone in the house seems so athletic,” Coby replies. “I mean… you and Zoro are always working out, and Sanji and Law jog all the time, and Wyper does MMA and… well, Luffy seems impossibly energetic and active too, even though he doesn’t seem to work out at all. I thought I was pretty fit as I am training in the academy, but it’s only coming here that I realised I really am not.”

“Don’t compare with us,” Kidd answers, dropping his gaze to meet Coby’s. “Zoro and I are nuts. Really. Not anyone can keep up with our workout regimen. I’m actually surprised to find even someone like Zoro in this house. Guess Law used to do kendo or something too, so ain’t surprising that he’s fit. And Sanji’s a chef – I know another chef, and they really gotta keep themselves in good condition to work in a kitchen. Like you said, Wyper’s MMA. And Luffy…” Kidd twists his lips. “Wouldn’t be surprised if that kid ran on pure energy and adrenaline.”

“Thanks.” The tips of Coby’s ears are a little red, and he plays with his fingers. “Did you… uh…” he takes a breath, “Did you… have anyone in mind? With this?” He gestures to his headband.

“Nah,” Kidd responds easily. “I don’t have anyone in mind so far. Didn’t really want Wyper, though – weird guy. Don’t want him going off on some environmental shit again. He’d probably step in here, see all the smoke, and complain about air pollution or some crap.”

 _“He’s too honest,”_ Tashigi comments.

 _“Love it,”_ Nami replies.

“Ah,” Coby lets out a small chuckle.

“Didn’t really want Luffy calling me Jaggy too – but there was no chance of that.” Kidd folds his arms across his chest. “How ‘bout you? You disappointed?” His grin is sharp.

Coby sputters, “I-I… no, I mean –”

“Huh. Nice. I see what it is now,” Kidd’s smile stretches as Coby wrings his hands together.

“No, really. I… I’m not disappointed.”

“You just wanted someone else to be here,” Kidd adds. Coby opens his mouth for a moment, before looking away and clamping it shut. “You know it doesn’t really matter to me, right? People want what they want. It’s still early, anyway. Doesn’t really matter.”

When Coby doesn’t respond, Kidd rolls his eyes. He gets up.

“Don’t get your panties in a twist,” he says. “C’mon. Let’s head out.”

INT – WORKSHOP

Wood decorates the interior of the workshop – birch, walnut, willow. Some are hung across walls, while larger planks pile up on the floor. Work tables make up the centre of the workshop, an assortment of tools perched on their stands.

“Hey,” Kidd grins, lifting a hand up as Coby follows after. A person emerges from the counter, wavy blond hair draped over his shoulders and falling into his eyes. A mask wraps around his nose and mouth, and he lifts a hand up in greeting. “That’s Killer, my friend,” Kidd introduces. “He owns this place.”

“Oh, um, hello,” Coby says. “I’m Coby.”

“You good with your hands?” Kidd asks, picking out a workbench and settling himself in front of it. Coby glances around the interior as he scuffs his shoes against the carpet of wood shavings on the floor.

“I’m alright,” he answers. “But with respect to this, I’m not too sure –”

“Sit,” Kidd gestures to the seat across from him. Coby moves over, almost absent-mindedly, and sits himself down, eyes still darting from wall to wall.

“I didn’t know you did, uh…” Coby stares at a shelf at the far end of the workshop. Small figurines of elephants and flamingos sit atop the first shelf, while bigger bowls and plates rest on the second and third. The bottom shelf, by far the largest, holds plaques and boards carved with the most intricate of designs. “Woodcarving.”

“I don’t seem the sort?” Kidd cocks a brow. Coby turns to face him.

“No! I mean –”

“Even in fixing up a car, you gotta have steady hands, a careful touch.” Kidd answers. “But there, you’re fixing something up. Less of an art. Sometimes you just gotta create something with your own bare hands, y’know? Let your creativity run wild.” He leans back as Killer comes over with gloves, safety goggles, masks, and two pieces of wood.

“Safety first,” Killer says, indicating the items. “Gloves to prevent cuts, goggles to prevent wood chips from flying into your eyes, masks for the dust.”

“Got it,” Coby nods.

“Wood,” Killer nudges a small piece of wood to Coby. “Pencil, for sketch. Knife, for whittling. Sharpening stone. Just stick with whittling for now – Kidd should be able to answer your questions.” With that, Killer stalks off. Kidd grins at his retreating back.

“He’s like that,” he says. “Anyway. Know what you gonna make?”

“Uh…” Coby stares at the assortment of items on the table. “Not really.”

“Chess pieces are easy,” Kidd says. “Like a rook. Or an owl. Or…” a smirk slowly climbs up his lips, “you could just do whatever you want. Go in free-hand. No design.”

“But then I wouldn’t –”

“You think too much,” Kidd interrupts, pushing at Coby’s forehead with a finger. “Yeah. Go in blind. Just follow the flow.” Kidd plucks Coby’s pencil from in front of him and brings it over to his side. “No sketching for you.”

“But –”

“Put on your gloves and pick up the knife,” he says.

Coby blinks at the sudden order, but listens anyway. The gloves fit slim over his fingers, and the knife is small as he wields it awkwardly in his right hand.

“Watch,” Kidd says after wearing his own pair of gloves. He picks up the knife. “Right-handed?” he asks, and Coby bobs his head. “Alright.” He holds his knife with his right hand, and then picks up the wood with his left. “Left thumb on the back of the blade,” he instructs, resting the edge of the knife against the wood while his left thumb sits atop the back of the blade. “Fingers out of the path of the blade.” He wiggles his left fingers a little from where they curve around the wood. “Don’t push with your right hand; use your left thumb to move.”

Coby hastens to imitate, his left fingers holding the wood while his right wielding the knife. He places his left thumb at the bottom of the blade and moves his left fingers away from the blade’s line of action. Kidd nods.

“When you start carving, carve with the grain,” he says. “Follow the direction of the lines. And always cut shallow, not deep.”

“What do you mean by cut shallow?” Coby asks.

“There are layers in wood,” Kidd says. “You should shave it in thin layers, and when you carve, you do sort of a scooping motion. Dig into the surface of the wood a little,” Kidd demonstrates by tilting his knife at an angle and pushing it slightly into the wood, “then push it through. As you push, move the knife up slightly,” he applies slight pressure with his right hand, and the knife shifts up, “and the wood is shaved.” A little sliver of shaving slips from the main body, curling as it does. “If it curls, it’s the right direction.” He drops his knife and wood back onto the table. “Your turn. Try it.”

“Huh? I…”

“Just do it already,” Kidd cuts in. “We don’t have all day.” But Kidd reaches out to adjust his grip on the knife, palm settling over Coby's fingers for a brief moment, before he nods his head again.

“Alright…” Coby’s fingers twitch. He takes a deep breath and shuts his eyes; when they reopen, his hands have steadied, somewhat. Wood on his left, he rests the tip of the knife against the edge, double-checking once more that his left thumb rests on the bottom of the blade and his left fingers are outside of the path of carving.

“Go on,” Kidd nods.

Carefully, he tips the knife downward and presses into it with the slightest pressure. It sinks in; digs into the wood with almost absurd ease. Coby glances at Kidd, who gives him another nod. He frowns, tilting the knife carefully upwards, and slowly pushes the blade in. A thin layer of wood peels out, curling as it separates.

“I did it!” Coby grins, wide and open, staring at the little wood shaving in his palm. “I did it!”

“Nice job,” Kidd says.

They descend into a comfortable silence as they each engage in their own project. A fire slowly emerges from Kidd’s, while… an odd, writhing creature presents itself in Coby’s.

“Ha,” Kidd blurts as he glances over at Coby. “What the hell is that?”

Coby pauses. He blinks a little. Lifts his head up and blinks at Kidd again. His eyes zone in on Kidd, and then he looks back down at the squirming being currently being squeezed out of his wood. “Uh.” He frowns. “A dragon.”

“A dragon?” Kidd bursts out laughing. “Plenty of legs to go around.”

“That’s the, uh…” There are stray tendrils of threads flailing from the main wiggling body, and Coby presses his lips together. “The hair. To detect things with.”

“Is it?” He cocks an eyebrow. “And this?” Tiny scratch marks mar the surface of the wood, right at the bottom of what appears to be legs.

“Uh… claws.”

“At the bottom of its feet?”

“… To facilitate walking.”

“Sure,” Kidd’s grin widens.

“Then… what’s yours?” Coby protests, staring at the blatantly-clear flames bursting out from Kidd’s. “Is that a-a… a misshaped hand?”

“If the hand is burning,” Kidd shrugs.

“And what’s that?” he indicates the trailing wisps of smoke rising from above the fire. “Some… electricity?”

“The person has superpowers,” Kidd answers. “Fire and lightning.”

“It… it looks like you’re trying to draw Wolverine, but disfigured,” Coby juts out his lower lip, turning away. Kidd regards Coby’s profile for a moment, his smirk smoothening into a smile.

“Yeah, completely mauled,” he obliges. “Very ugly.”

“Kidd,” Killer calls out from his counter. “It’s six.”

“Oh?” Kidd looks at the clock. “Guess it’s time to go,” he tilts his head at Coby.

“Where are we going next?”

“Coffee,” he says.

INT – CAFÉ

“It’s not that bad!” Coby protests, sticking the carving under Kidd’s nose. “It looks like _something_!”

“Yeah,” Kidd smirks. “A Lovecraftian monster.”

“Lovecraftian – what?”

“Don’t you know? Cthulhu, and all that shit.”

“I – I guess? It sounds a little familiar? So… if it’s some… literature-type monster, it means that my carving _is_ something, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, yeah” Kidd waves his hand. “Definitely.” Their coffees arrive, and Kidd sips at it while Coby runs his fingers over his own carving. “Fun, isn’t it?” Kidd says.

“Huh? Yeah,” Coby answers. “I didn’t think… I mean, I never thought to try wood carving. I always wanted to take up a handicraft, but never knew where to start.”

“You’re pretty good,” Kidd says. “With a shit design, though.”

“Hey!”

“Killer didn’t scream once,” he continues, ignoring Coby’s indignation even as he smiles a little. “Because people are stupid and think they are smarter than forces of nature.”

They sip at their coffees, the work crowd spilling out from large corporate buildings and into the streets.

“Thanks, by the way,” Coby says. Kidd glances over; Coby stares out the window, cup in hand, gazing at the people coming and going. “I had fun.”

Kidd smirks.

They stay that way, each sipping at their own drinks, watching the crowd dance in front of their window.

INT – TV STUDIO

“Wow,” Vivi says.

“I never thought of Kidd that way,” Nami admits. “Huh.”

“Wood carving certainly doesn’t seem like him,” Robin comments. “Yet at the same time, it perfectly encapsulates him.”

“Hard, with edges,” Reiju agrees. “Layers that can be shed easily, if you only know how to.”

“The two of you with your analogies,” Nami shakes her head. “Are we forgetting the motorbike? Such a cliché scene – but still delightful! Told ya, Coby needs some _spice_.”

“It sounds like _you_ are the one enamoured by Kidd,” Vivi teases. Nami rolls her eyes.

“ _Please_. I need some flames in my life. Kidd is the _least_ I’d expect from someone who expects to chase me.”

“Still. The way Kidd just grabbed Coby’s wrists and pulled him close,” Vivi sighs.

“He must have felt something,” Tashigi adds. “A jump – a stagger; and that must be a signal on Kidd’s end too.”

“And he did it,” Hancock pipes up, looking supremely uninterested yet somehow impressed at the same time. “Coby plucked the guts up and _fed_ Kidd. I never would have thought that would happen – especially not when the recipient is _Kidd_.”

“Coby… did indicate, pretty clearly, that Kidd wasn’t really the person he was looking forward to,” Vivi considers. “And Kidd knows it clearly as well. Coby must have been hoping for Sanji.”

“Coby and Sanji would’ve been cute, but so boring,” Nami tsks. “They’re both decent, considerate men. _Too_ considerate.”

“Heat is necessary in a relationship, but in the long-term, the stability that Coby and Sanji would have achieved would bode better,” Robin answers.

“Who cares? This isn’t the long-term!”

“And Kidd probably knows that Coby had Sanji – or at least, someone else in mind – but it doesn’t matter. He just went along and was himself and I think Coby must have been at least a little surprised, and definitely somewhat impressed,” Tashigi says. “He might have changed Coby’s mind – or made him reconsider, at least. Especially with that unexpected wood carving hobby. I don’t think any of us saw it coming.”

“I should think that this has opened Coby’s eyes to Kidd,” Robin says. “But how about Kidd to Coby?”

“I think Kidd thinks Coby’s cute,” Nami grins. “The motorbike incident is a clear sign that Kidd obviously found Coby endearing, otherwise he wouldn’t have teased him like that. And he might have felt something when Coby – timid, shy _Coby_ – actually tried to feed him.”

“I think Sanji must be far from Coby’s mind now,” Vivi agrees. “At the end, with the two of them seated across from one another, just staring out the window – that was so sweet.”

“Perhaps ruminating on the unexpected – and normally unlikely – circumstances of their meeting, and how they have somehow found their way to one another amidst everyone else. Such fate is difficult to ignore, even if Coby had picked only from three choices.” Robin answers.

“This makes me so excited for who’s up next!” Nami squeals.

“I’m glad Kidd has found someone now,” Reiju says. “It seems like he really might have found a match with Coby.”

“Alright, let us take a look at the next date!”

EXT – PARK

Dappled sunlight spills out onto the grass, while children scream and play and jostle one another in the background. Couples park themselves at a bench or beneath trees, some exchanging food while others sharing their earpieces.

Someone stands at the periphery of the park, arms crossed, shades pulled over eyes. Even under the shadow of a tree, he is eye-catching from a distance, slim peacoat over broad shoulders, fitted around a lean physique. A light tan woollen muffler drapes around his neck, slightly loose; and a couple of eyes land on his as they pass.

“Wyper!” a cheery voice springs out from nowhere. Wyper raises his head just as a figure bounds up towards him, straw hat bouncing against his back, cheeks pink from the cold. “Hey! You got my teddy bear!”

 _“It’s Wyper and Luffy!”_ Vivi announces. _“We’ve got another couple down!”_

“Hey,” he greets, removing his sunglasses and letting them perch on his shirt. “Yeah.”

“Did you like it? Sabo didn’t want me to get it, but it’s so cute and fluffy! Who wouldn’t like it? And he also said before that the present should make clear who I am, and I knew no one else would give a teddy bear!”

“I see,” Wyper says. “Did you… have any one in mind with this gift?”

“Me?” Luffy laughs. “Nah! I still wanna get to know everyone better! I mean, Ace also said that I should have someone in mind because it’s a date and first dates are important, yadda yadda, but also… everyone’s cool! I want to make friends with all of you!”

Wyper and Luffy start a slow stroll in the park, their feet taking them forward seemingly without even them realising it. “Are you actually even trying to find a partner?” Wyper asks. Luffy whips his head over to him.

“Well,” he answers. “Ace says I’m supposed to, but if it’ll happen if it happens! Oh, right – Ace _did_ also say this is supposed to be like, romantic!” And then Luffy promptly reaches out and tries to grab Wyper’s hand.

Wyper steps back in time. “What are you doing?”

“Holding your hand! So, this is a date!” Luffy launches himself at the older man again.

“Yeah, no,” Wyper dodges every attempt, cleanly stepping away in time with Luffy’s advances. “It doesn’t work that way. Stop trying.”

“But –”

“It gotta happen naturally. Or because you want to. Under certain vibes.”

Luffy stops attacking and tilts his head. “Certain vibes? Like?”

Heaving a huge sigh, Wyper says, “You’ll know when you feel it.”

“Hm. That sounds mysterious – but romance stuff always seems like a mystery anyway. Okay, so what do you want to do?” Luffy hops over to his side again.

Wyper stares at Luffy for a moment. “Weren’t you the one who planned it?”

“Yeah, but planning is so difficult. And it sucks!” Luffy whines, shoulders drooping dramatically as he slumps over. “And Sabo said the date should be fun for the other person, so I thought we could just brainstorm together! What do you want to do?”

Wyper’s hand trembles, almost as though he wants to reach out and shake Luffy – or rub at his temples in exasperation. Instead, he takes a long breath. Stares at the cloudless sky, blue and vast and expanding out above his head. Feels the gentle breeze against his skin, soothing in comparison to Luffy’s sharp voice. His chest rises and falls, rises and falls.

Finally, he returns to look at Luffy. “Shall we head to the beach?”

EXT – BEACH

Despite the sun, the wind howls loud and echoing. No one is at the beach, and the waves lap at the sand, pushing forward and then retreating back.

Luffy’s ears are pink, his nose rosy. In one hand, he holds a large garbage bag; in the other; the other, a pick-up stick.

“It’s cold,” he whines¸digging his chin further into his scarf.

“It’s the perfect time to pick up the trash,” Wyper says, already grabbing at a few stray cans of beer. “There’s no one here.”

“That’s because it’s _cold_ ,” Luffy pouts. “How is this a date?”

“You asked what I wanted to do,” Wyper answers. “I want to do this.”

“But –”

“Alright. Take it as a challenge, okay?” he dumps the cans into his bag, and then eyes a couple stray packets of chips further toward shore. “Whoever who finishes their area of the beach the fastest… gets to ask something of the other person.”

Luffy’s eyes brighten. His head rises from where it has cocooned itself within the folds of his scarf. “ _Anything_?”

“Anything,” Wyper promises.

“Okay!” Luffy barrels straight toward the first empty water bottle he sees, and then cuts straight across to a heap of cigarette butts buried in the sand.

Luffy’s energy seems nearly inexhaustible as he bolts from one area to the other, gradually filling his bag up with tremendous speed. By the time he’s done with his assigned area, Wyper’s only half-complete, and he deposits two bags full of trash by Wyper’s side.

“I’m done! I win!”

“That’s great,” he says, looking almost genuinely impressed as he regards the bulging trash bags. He casts his gaze over Luffy’s area, “It looks like you’ve got all of it.”

“Of course, I did! There were so many hidden in the sand, but I dug all of them out.”

A smile spills across Wyper’s lips. “Great job,” he says. “It is disgusting how people treat the beach like a trash can. There are so many creatures who depend on the sand, yet people dig holes into it and stuff their non-biodegradable items in there and rot up the homes of the creatures who already live there. Would you want your home to be polluted by other people’s messes? If no – then don’t dump your shit in here.” Wyper sighs, stabbing into a can. “Sometimes it is frustrating to live in a city.”

Luffy’s ears perk. “Live in a city? Did you not live in a city before this?”

“No,” he says. Luffy wanders behind him as he makes his way from one rubbish pile to another. “Used to live in the countryside, surrounded by forest and nature. There, people took nature as part of their homes. They knew how to respect it – take care of it, like it does us.”

“Well, yeah,” Luffy taps at his chin, brows furrowed. “Nature _is_ our home. We live here. I used to play around in the forest too, you know? Back when I was younger, with Ace and Sabo. Way before we came to the city. It was so fun – there were so many animals! I always cried and ran up a tree, and Ace and Sabo always screamed at me afterwards. That was fun!”

“Yeah,” Wyper agrees, moving on to another trash heap. “Would’ve lived there all my life, if I could.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“Because people began cutting into our forest, tearing down our homes.” Wyper’s voice is even, though his tone steams with cold anger. “Came out to protest, and once we made some headway, continued to form a group of activists so that we could save everyone else’s homes.”

“That sounds like Sabo,” Luffy comments. “I dunno, think he’s an activist of some sort either. Politics. All the government stuff.” He sticks a finger into his ear. “Something like that.”

A couple of minutes later, Wyper is done. Four and a half bags of rubbish sit on the shore, and the two of them lean on the sand somewhere further away as they rest.

“Right,” Wyper turns to Luffy. “You won. What’d you want me to do?”

“Oh right!” Luffy jolts up to a sitting. “I forgot! Hm…” he brushes at the bottom of his chin. His eyes settle on the waves, ebbing and flowing with a gentle rhythm. A grin blossoms, rises to his cheeks. “I know! Let’s go into the water!”

“What?”

“Let’s go into the water!” Luffy’s already peeling off his scarf and coat. “Come on! You said you’d do _anything_!”

“It’s the end of December – it’ll be freezing!”

“It’ll be fun!” His shoes have been abandoned halfway across the sand; his socks littered a little in front. “Let’s go!”

Wyper’s gaze darts from Luffy’s coat and scarf, strewn by his side, to the sweater and jeans that Luffy has also already shrugged out of. Closing his eyes for a second, he curses under his breath as he rips the muffler off his head and tosses his coat behind him. Spirals of ink reveal as he strips down to his short-sleeved undershirt, coiled up the length of his left arm and wrapped around his shoulder.

He races to catch up with Luffy, “Fine! I’m coming!”

Luffy’s laughter drifts toward Wyper right before he crashes straight into the sea, caught right in the middle of a large wave. Water sloshes over his undershirt, spills over his thermals.

“AH!” Luffy squeaks. “It’s cold!” He bounces in and out of the water, feet dancing beneath his body, when another wave comes in.

Wyper makes it in time just as the wave floods the shore, the sheer force of it making him stumble a little backwards. The water jolts him awake and his eyes snap wide. He immediately wraps his arms around his body, a tremble rising up his spine.

“Hey! Y-Y-You’re here!” Luffy’s teeth clatters together, even as he beams wide and bright. “Ooh! Are – are those t-t-tattoos? T-They’re cool!”

“Ugh,” Wyper shivers, the tips of his ears flushing pink. “L-Let’s… Let’s get ou –” Another wave comes in just before he can finish his sentence, and the water rush into his mouth. He sputters, nearly tripping over, though he manages to sink his heels into the sand just in time.

Luffy, meanwhile, isn’t so lucky. The second wave catches him unaware; it throws him off-balance, arms flailing into the air as the water strikes at his eyes. His feet slip, his body twists – and then he sinks into the water.

“Luffy!” Wyper grabs him by the shoulder and hauls him upright. Luffy sputters, shaking the seawater from his hair and blinking his eyes rapidly.

“Ow,” he says. “It stings.” And then, almost as though suddenly remembering, he wraps his arms around his torso. Chills vibrate his body. “And it’s c-c-c-c- _cold_!”

“ _You_ wanted this!” Wyper grits his teeth; but even behind closed lips, they clatter almost noisily as Wyper drags Luffy back to the sand. He relaxes the moment his feet reach warm ground.

“This is so much b-better,” Luffy says, releasing his bodyweight onto Wyper. Wyper struggles to get a better hold, but his hands slip and Luffy goes tumbling into the sand. Luffy immediately leans into the heat of the ground, rubbing his cheek into the warmth. “Warm…”

“You’re… You’re not gonna… be able to… g-get the sand off you now,” Wyper says, trying to still his shivers.

“Why w-would I? It’s so… so warm… and nice… ow! My eyes sting!” Luffy snaps his eyelids shut. “Wyper ~ my eyes sting!”

“I’ll… I’ll get you some water,” he sighs. As he returns with his bag, he picks up their clothes on the way. “Here.”

“Help me – I can’t s-see –”

“Fine,” he says. “Hold on.” He uncaps the bottle and tips it above Luffy’s face, until a steady trickle falls into Luffy’s eyes. When Wyper recaps the bottle, Luffy blinks a bit. “Better?”

“Yeah! Much!” He bolts up to his feet. “All the sand is stuck to my skin!”

“Because you laid in it when it was wet,” he says.

“And it’s cold! Gimme my coat!”

“You’re _wet_! And plastered with sand!”

“Hand it over!” Luffy wrestles his coat out from Wyper’s grasp and drapes it over his shoulders. “I-I’m… still cold!”

“There’s a café back there,” Wyper suggests. “Let’s go.”

INT – CAFÉ

Wyper sits alone at a table. He’s wiped himself up as much as he can with toilet paper, and he has stripped his undershirt and pants and draped them over a radiator beside their table in the corner of the café. Now, only clad in his other layers, he wiggles a little in his seat.

 _“He’s wearing wool directly on bare skin, isn’t he?”_ Tashigi wonders. _“That must not be comfortable.”_

A few heads turn as Luffy returns, his hair damp and his eyes slightly blood-shot. He’s also clad in his other layers, save for his inner shirt and thermals. Wyper takes them from Luffy and rests the clothes near the radiator as Luffy plops into his seat.

“It’s itchy,” Luffy complains, pulling at the material of the sweater under his coat. “And I’m still cold!” He inches closer to the radiator.

“Drink up,” Wyper pushes a mug of untouched hot chocolate towards Luffy. Luffy grabs it immediately and cradles it in his palms, leaning his nose over the little steam still drifting above it.

“Thanks,” he murmurs, taking in the fragrance of the beverage. “Smells great.”

“Tastes pretty good too,” Wyper comments, fingers wrapped around his half-finished mug.

“That was fun,” Luffy announces, grinning suddenly. “We should do it again. We should do it with the rest”

Wyper takes a long, deliberate sip of his hot chocolate. “We should _not_.”

“We should! We should make a game of it! Like… like… we gotta run into the water, and run back out and whoever who rings the bell first wins!”

“What bell?”

“You know! The bell! The bell for games! To ring!” Luffy gesticulates wildly with one hand. “It’ll be so fun. We could do it before New Year’s!” He bounces in his seat. “Oh, oh! We could watch the fireworks from the beach on New Year’s Eve! That’ll be so cool!”

Wyper pauses. “That’s… actually not too bad an idea.”

“Yeah! And Sanji could make lots and lots and lots of food… and Zoro could, I dunno, play with his swords or something! And Kidd could bring his motorbike and Coby could arrest us and Law could cut us up – it’ll be fun!”

“… What was that last part?”

“It’ll be fun!” Luffy inserts his face right in front of Wyper. “Wouldn’t it? We could take pictures at the beach with the fireworks in the background as well! We used to set fireworks off right at the coast, you know – me and Ace and Sabo! And then Makino would scold us because she said it was too dangerous for a bunch of kids to set fireworks, and then Ace would argue and Sabo would confuse her with logic and Dadan would scold us for being too noisy – but once the fireworks came up, everyone would shut up. It was so nice.” He sinks back into his seat and smiles into his mug. “We could do that again – with everyone at the house! It could be a new tradition!”

“… You know we are only going to be living together for two months, right?”

“Yeah, but… we’ll still be friends after. It could be a new tradition!” Luffy’s eyes are so bright and earnest that Wyper can only shake his head and let out a sigh.

“… It sounds like it could be fun,” he relents.

“Yeah, it will be! And –” A growl rips from the pit of Luffy’s stomach. Luffy’s lips twist; he drops his mug back to its coaster and drapes half his body across the table. “I’m hungry.”

“It’s a café,” Wyper jams the menu into Luffy’s free hand. “Order what you want.”

“Really? Thanks!”

“…” Wyper looks ready to say something, but seems to shove it away at Luffy’s enthusiasm.

“Aren’t you getting anything?” Luffy asks, pushing the menu back towards him. “I know what I’m getting! I’m gonna get a club sandwich and a burger and some wings… and ooh, maybe fries as well!”

Wyper raises his brows up an inch. “I will get an… avocado sandwich,” he decides.

“Avocado?” Luffy pulls out his bottom lip. “That’s all green! There’s no meat! Do you not eat meat?”

“I do,” Wyper says. “Just don’t feel like it right now.”

“Don’t _feel_ like it?” An incredibly maligned expression settles over Luffy’s features, jaw agape and brows crinkled together and eyes wide. “It’s meat! It’s _always_ good!”

“… I’ll go order the food,” Wyper says, grabbing the menu and quickly slipping out of his seat.

INT – GRAND LINE APARTMENT

“That was a good meal,” Luffy proclaims, patting at his stomach as they climb up the stairs. “Wonder what’s for dinner?”

“Would anyone even be home?” Wyper considers. “They’re all out on dates now, aren’t they?”

“Ooh! Don’t you have another date tomorrow?” Luffy grins. “It won’t be as fun as mine! Unless you guys go skydiving… or paragliding… or go to all-you-can-eat buffet!” His mouth falls. “Take me! Take me, take me, take me!”

When they turn into the second storey, they spot Coby sitting at the dinner table. He lifts his head when he sees them, and his brows raise. “Luffy, Wyper! You’re home?”

“Yeah! Is there no one else back yet?”

“No,” he rises to his feet. “We were thinking of ordering pizza in, since it seems that people might not be home for dinner.”

“Pizza! I love pizza!” Luffy nods his head. “Let’s do it!”

“I’m heading up for a bit,” Wyper says, cutting a glance at Luffy. “You should change up too.”

“Nah, I’m good!” Luffy plops himself down beside Coby, and Coby returns to his seat. “What did you guys do? How was it? Jaggy seems like he’ll be fun!”

“Well…” Coby shifts his gaze down. “It was nice.”

“Did you ride on his motorbike?”

“Yeah… I think you’d really enjoy it,” Coby allows. “It was fast. But Kidd’s a pretty steady driver. I mean, he goes fast and he… likes to rush past traffic lights, but it somehow still feels… pretty safe.”

“Ooh!” Luffy pulls his knees up to his chin. “And what did you guys do after?”

“We ate at a barbecue –”

“ _Barbecue?”_ Luffy sprawls himself halfway out the table, his face directly below Coby’s chin. “Were there lots of meat? It sounds yummy already! I want to be there! That sounds great…”

“It… was,” Coby backs away slowly. “Oh, and um, we went to a wood carving workshop. It was actually really fun, I never thought of doing something like it. And Kidd was actually really patient too, it was nice. I –”

But Luffy’s no longer listening. A trail of drool slips from his parted mouth, his gaze far away. Coby stifles a smile.

INT – TV STUDIO

“Okay!” Nami claps her hands together. “So, we have gotten two pairings right!”

“Luffy is so adorable,” Vivi chuckles. “I mean… I don’t see any sparks between him and Wyper so far, but… he’s just so adorable! I don’t think Wyper can deny that.”

“I can’t believe they went into the water in the thick of winter,” Tashigi adjusts her spectacles. “Luffy might fall sick.”

“If he does, we have our resident doctor on hand,” Nami’s grin is sharp. “It’ll be Christmas Eve, and Luffy is sick…” Her smile widens.

“You really love torturing poor Law,” Robin shakes her head, a genial smile gracing her lips. “I _do_ wonder how it might be like… though I highly doubt Luffy would take ill that easily. He seems to be the sort who’d manage to even chase sickness away.”

“Cleaning up the beach during the holidays,” Reiju purses her lips. “That is admirable. And I think Wyper would appreciate Luffy agreeing to it so easily – though it _is_ Luffy.”

“If Kidd were his partner,” Hancock adds, “as Kidd very clearly didn’t want to be – there’d be a riot.”

“It’s actually so weird,” Vivi ponders. “So many of the personalities in here so clearly clash – and _have_ clashed, if you think about Zoro and Sanji – yet somehow… if you think about it, you could see them fitting together still. Shaping themselves around one another, learning. They are all considerate enough, or decent enough people at least, to try. Otherwise Kidd might have outwardly scoffed at Wyper’s outburst the other day. They are all such great people.”

“You have too much faith in men,” Nami laughs. “I’m here waiting to see some fire. Some action! Some outbursts! They’re too docile right now!”

“Perhaps some tension might develop on Christmas,” Robin suggests. “If Luffy really were to go ahead with his… Christmas plans, I foresee certain members not being entirely happy with it.”

“Luffy,” Nami grins. “I love that little boy. He’ll get things moving for us!”

“So, in the next episode we will be seeing the next two dates,” Tashigi comments. “That would be Law, Wyper, Zoro, and Sanji. The pairings really could go either way – Law-Sanji, Wyper-Zoro; or Law-Zoro, Wyper-Sanji.”

“No matter which, I think it would be interesting. There’s no… tension between any of these pairings, as far as I can think of,” Vivi says. “Something real might develop from here.”

“Are you saying Kidd and Coby don’t have something _real_?” Nami leans in. “Weren’t you just cooing over them a while ago?”

“I’m not saying they don’t,” Vivi says. “But… it’s Law and Sanji. They’ve had their eyes on each other since the beginning! Well, kind of. At least, Law did. That’ll be… interesting.”

“I agree. And Wyper and Zoro are both athletic sorts,” Reiju says. “They’ll likely bond over that. Or, if it’s Law and Zoro, they have their swords. Wyper and Sanji both seem decent enough to get along as well.”

“That’s it for today’s episode,” Nami announces. “We’ll have to wait till next week to know if we’ll get our crystals – and to see if anything plays out from their first dates!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> question: would yall prefer to have more screentime on the panellists as well (i.e. the girls), or is this arrangement good enough? 
> 
> i'm also coming to realise that yes, while i am trying to keep to their characterisations, this also is a very weird environment for them to be placed into, where emotions and tensions would probably be heightened. so... i might do something with that realisation to get more wheels turning, but we'll see how it goes!


	5. illusions made into reality (part 2)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we are at nearly 10k words this chapter, guys! 
> 
> also, forgot about this but i made a little poster for this ff! it's not great (i'm but a humble newbie artist), but yall can take a look if you want! it's posted on my tumblr @catastrophic-dreamer.
> 
> anyway, onward with the chapter!

**chapter five: illusions made into reality (part 2)**

EXT – ROADSIDE

Dawn drifts in, moon barely visible in the scatter of colours over the sky. Birdsong chimes in the distance; a carpet of leaves drapes over the ground. The wind is light, but cold; laps at the skin almost like cold water grazing the shore.

A fluffy beanie is pulled low over a head, covering part of a pair of ears. Loose strands of dark hair fall over steel eyes. A long, black coat rests on a lanky frame, chin tucked into the embrace of a turtleneck sweater, bluish scarf wrapped snug over the cashmere.

 _“Law_ ,” Nami comments.

A pair of boots walk up the pavement. Law lifts his head as the sound approaches, and a small smile graces his lips.

“It’s you,” he comments.

“It’s me,” the person says, blond hair casually tossed over one eye, backpack perched low on his back.

 _“Sanji!”_ Vivi squeals.

“Are you disappointed?” Law asks as Sanji walks up to him.

“Why would I be?” he says, glancing over at Law’s outfit. “Ready for a climb?” He jabs his thumbs up at the mountain behind him.

The corners of Law’s mouth tilt higher. “Yeah.”

The streets are silent as they make their way towards the entrance of the hiking trail, the growl of car engines fading into a bare rumble in the distance. Leaves crunch beneath their feet as they embark on the first couple of steps, morning dew clinging onto the handrails.

“Do you like the scarf?” Sanji asks.

“Yeah,” he answers, lifting his fingers to graze the soft of its wool. Law glances at Sanji, “Did you have someone in mind when choosing it?”

 _“Ooh!”_ Nami says.

“Yeah,” Sanji answers. He takes a couple of steps forward, allowing the silence to pool between them, before finally saying, “Someone else who’d appreciate a good hike.”

Law’s smile widens, slightly. They don’t say much else as they continue their climb up, with almost effortless ease, until they reach the midpoint. Sanji wanders to the viewpoint, and Law follows after.

“Nothing like mountain air that clears your mind,” Sanji says. Law hums in agreement, but then raises a brow and gives Sanji a glance.

“Says the chain smoker,” he says, with humour. “It still baffles me how your cooking hasn’t yet been affected.”

“Shut up. I’m not smoking now,” Sanji quips. He rests his forearms on the railing and tilts his torso such that it faces Law. “I’m more curious to know how a doctor with the word ‘DEATH’ tattooed across his fingers still gets patients.”

“Because I’m good at what I do,” Law replies, smile dancing on lips. “Why – you wouldn’t want to be treated by me?”

“It’s creepy, that’s what it is,” Sanji answers, returning Law’s slight smirk. “Would you want to eat my food if I have the word ‘DEATH” plastered over my forehead?”

Law gives a small shrug. “It’s merely a reminder. That at every moment while you are cooking, you are dealing with lives that have been lost to you; that it’s a cycle you have to respect – so yes, I would love to eat your food, regardless. Likewise, for me, it’s a reminder that every time I am at the table, I am a breath away from death. If I falter, if I make the wrong decision, it means that I will be personally sending my patient off to the other side.” Law looks back up at Sanji. “Wouldn’t you be more assured if you know that the person handling your surgery understands the delicacy between life and death?”

Sanji taps his index finger against the railing. “I suppose. I never thought of it that way,” he says. “I just thought you were a creep.”

Law raises an eyebrow. “They are not mutually exclusive of one another.” And then, tilting his head slightly, he adds, “What would that make of you, then – to be a person who chose to be on a date with a creep?”

Sanji turns, only one hand resting on the railing now. “Who said I had a choice? Weren’t you the one who had chosen?”

Law gives a non-committal shrug. “Would you say that it is the person who chooses the gift that makes the final choice, or the person who had bought the gift who has made a choice from the very beginning?”

 _“Is this them… flirting? I – can’t even…”_ Nami coughs a laugh.

 _“How… fraught with tension.”_ Robin agrees.

They stare at each other for a good long moment, smile mirrored on both faces, before Sanji pushes himself off from the railing.

“Let’s go,” he says. “We still have half a mountain to climb.”

They eventually make it all the way up. The clouds have almost completely scattered, and sun beams down on them as Sanji places his backpack onto the grass and unfolds a picnic mat. Law wanders around, admiring the scenery.

“This is nice,” he says. “I’ve not been here yet.”

“Neither have I,” Sanji answers. “That’s why I wanted to come here today. The back of the mountain has nicer scenic nature views than the front.” Sanji leans back onto his forearms and stretches his legs. “The weather’s great; the sun’s hot. I was afraid it’d be too cold.”

“Hm?” Law moves to sit beside Sanji on the mat. “I’m sure you’ll have a way of dealing with that, should it be necessary.”

Sanji just chuckles. He lifts himself back to a sitting and rummages around in his backpack, taking out a couple of lunchboxes. "Didn’t expect you to be such a flirt,” he comments, uncovering the lunchboxes and piling the lids by his side. “Sandwiches?”

“… I don’t eat bread,” Law says. Sanji raises his brow.

“Didn’t know that.” He shifts the box of sandwiches closer to his side. “Potato salad? Rice balls?”

“Yeah, thanks,” Law says, picking up a rice ball from a container. “I never made it known; don’t worry about it.” He takes a tentative bite of the rice ball and nods his head. “It’s good.”

“I’m a chef – I like to keep track of people’s likes and dislikes,” Sanji says, frowning slightly as he picks up a sandwich. “No point in making food that someone wouldn’t eat.”

“You know the eating habits of our house mates?” Law questions.

Sanji hums under his breath. “It’s only been a couple of days, but I think I got some stuff figured out. Like you gotta trick Luffy into eating his vegetables,” he barks a laugh, “or that Coby picks out beansprouts and chilli from his food.”

“What else?” Law probes, munching on his rice ball.

“Zoro doesn’t watch out for bones in his fish – probably thinks he can chew it up and swallow it or something, that muscle-headed brute. And Kidd hates tofu – think I heard him call it mushy air once.”

“Tofu is good,” Law comments. “He doesn’t know what he’s missing out on.”

“Yeah. Tofu is versatile, just like eggs and potatoes,” Sanji agrees. “Don’t know too much about Wyper yet, but he seems easy-going enough with food. Eats less meat than the rest, but not vegetarian exactly. Think he likes clean-tasting stuff.”

“How about me?” Law finishes the rest of his rice ball, and makes to pour hot tea into his mug.

“You?” Sanji smiles, taking a small bite from his sandwich. “You don’t eat bread.”

“You didn’t know that.”

“Now I do,” Sanji returns. “And about anything else… well, isn’t that the point of a date? To get to know the other party better?”

“You’re saying you failed to gather any information about me back in the house,” Law lifts the mug to his lips.

“You don’t let slip much,” Sanji shrugs. “But I know that you like hiking.”

“Do I?” He smiles around the rim of his mug.

 _“Or is it the company that I like?”_ Nami adds, smoothening her tone to imitate Law. She cackles, _“If he said something like that this early into the date –”_

“Don’t you?” Sanji asks. Once again, they stare at each other for a long moment, before Law tips the mug over and takes a sip.

“What else?” Law asks, returning the mug to the mat and reaching for another rice ball.

“You don’t get much sleep, if ever,” Sanji says, taking another bite of sandwich. He looks up to the sky. “Sometimes you aren’t even in bed by the time I wake – and that’s saying a lot. I wake up very early.”

“Hm?” Law hums, but doesn’t elaborate.

Sanji glances over at him. “You aren’t in the house either,” he says. “Where do you go?”

“Why? Would you want to follow?” Law returns his gaze. When Sanji doesn’t respond, he drops his eyes and looks at his fingers. “I have difficulty sleeping. In warmer seasons, I’d go for a hike – but it’s too cold nowadays to climb a mountain in the middle of the night, so I’d head for a walk instead.” He lifts his head back up, “And you? Why are you awake so early?”

“I’m a chef,” Sanji answers. “It’s a habit. I wake up, clean the kitchen, make breakfast for everyone. It’s only natural.”

“You don’t have to be the chef of the house.”

“It’s fine; I want to,” Sanji finishes the rest of his sandwich. Law tilts his head at the thermos, and Sanji nods, bringing his mug close. Law tips the thermos over, filling Sanji’s mug with hot tea. “Thanks,” Sanji says, curling his fingers around the mug. “I love cooking. I love my job. It’s more than just a career to me – it’s my life. Surprisingly, I feel like that’s what all of us have in common the most – how passionate we are about what we do.”

“You are saying that I enjoy cutting people up,” Law quirks a brow, but smiles nonetheless. “You’re not… wrong.”

“And you say you aren’t a creep,” Sanji scoffs. “But yea. You obviously love cutting people up; Coby is earnestly chasing his dreams of becoming a police cadet; Wyper is, evidently, a huge advocate for environmental conservation; Zoro loves his swords; Kidd enjoys motorbikes; and Luffy… Luffy, I guess just enjoys life, and his job awards him just that.” Sanji lifts the mug to his mouth, lets it hover in front of him. “It’s rare, not just to meet a person who really loves what they’re doing, but to have a whole group of them gathered together under the same roof. It’s heartening, actually.” He takes a sip of tea.

“Never saw them that way,” Law admits. “They’re just… house mates. Some more annoying than others, but house mates nonetheless.”

“That, too,” Sanji agrees. He pauses, for a while, before adding, “If you want to go for a walk next time, I can come with. That is, you know… if you want me to.”

Law raises his eyes in surprise. He stares at Sanji. “Thanks,” he finally says. “I’d like that.”

They munch on the food in silence, birdsong drifting in and out of their ears as the sun climbs higher up the horizon.

Law tugs at the scarf, loosening it around his throat. “Where’d you get this?” he asks. “It’s nice. Warm, but not itchy, nor stifling.”

"There’s this store near my restaurant,” he answers. “I know the owner – she’s really good at all these handicrafts. Actually, we’re heading somewhere near there after this.”

“Are we?” Law lifts his brows. “You’re taking me to make jewellery?”

“… Something like that,” Sanji laughs. “Don’t worry – I’m not gonna be forcing couple rings on you or anything like that.”

“In the north, we had this custom,” Law says, “to wear the ring around the pinkie instead of the ring or the middle finger. Like capturing the red strings of fate in the band, making sure they’d never snap.”

“You’re from the north?” Sanji asks. “I’m from the north too!”

“Oh?” Law raises a brow. “Really?”

“Yeah! I – I didn’t think I’d find someone else from my hometown.”

“You don’t sound like you’re from the north,” Law comments.

“I left when I was young,” he answers. “Neither do you.”

“I left when I was young, too,” Law answers.

They regard each other, not saying anything. It takes a moment, and then Sanji starts packing things up.

“Shall we?” he says.

INT – ART WORKSHOP

“Sanji-kun!” A woman with straw-coloured hair says, stepping to the threshold and bringing Sanji into a hug. “Ah, and this must be Tr –”

“Trafalgar Law,” Sanji hastily supplies. He plasters a wide smile over his lips, “Conis-chan! It’s so nice to see you!”

Law raises his brows slightly at Sanji’s obvious fluster, but doesn’t comment on it. Instead, he walks up to Conis and nods. “Nice to make your acquaintance.”

“It’s so nice to see you,” she says, releasing Sanji from her hug. “I’ve heard a lot about the… apartment,” her gaze darts to Sanji, and back to Law, “and it’s so good to finally see one of you!”

“Hm?” Law acknowledges.

“Shall we begin, Conis dear?” Sanji says, still smiling tightly. An equally awkward smile rises to her lips.

“Yes, yes – please, come in.” She moves aside so that the pathway is clear, and they enter the workshop. “Law-kun, I’m not sure if Sanji has told you what we are doing today, but we are going to be doing a painting.”

Law glances at the large easel in the middle of the room. “I see.”

“But the two of you will be working on a painting together,” she continues. “You can feel free to paint whatever you like, either with watercolour or oil or acrylic paints. I will be here to help should you need it.” The awkward smile slowly smoothens into an actual grin, “And of course, I’d love to hear more about the apartment and your house mates.” She elbows Sanji a little, and he chuckles.

“Sure, sure, you can quiz me all about them,” he says.

“First, please put on your aprons.” She gestures towards two aprons hung on the wall. One is a bright, ostentatious pink, dotted with little flowers and clouds and hearts; the other is a simple, placid grey.

Sanji takes both and holds them up to Law. “Are you really going to be predictable and pick what I think you’re going to pick?”

“And here I thought you said you didn’t know me well,” Law quirks a smile. “What would you have me pick?” He tilts his head at Sanji, eyes twinkling with amusement.

Sanji seems to get the reference, too, because a smile catches his lips and he shakes his head. “You’re giving me the benefit of choice? Now?”

“You act like you haven’t had any,” Law quips back.

Conis’ gaze juggles between the two of them, bemused. Sanji holds both the aprons to his side and pretends to give them each a good consideration, before handing out the grey one to Law.

“Here,” he says. “Matches the scarf.”

“Hm?” Law takes it from Sanji. “I will be taking the scarf off, though.” He removes his coat, placing it on a hanger, and then tugs at the scarf.

“It’s a temporary replacement,” Sanji answers, shrugging out of his own coat. Law smiles, unwrapping the scarf from his neck and draping it over the neck of the hanger.

Once they are both in their respective aprons, Conis indicates an array of paints. “Which would you like? Acrylics might be the easiest for beginners – it’s a lot more forgiving.”

“Shall we try acrylics?” Sanji asks. Law nods his head.

“Sure.”

“Alright,” Conis puts away the rest of the paint tubes and brings the tray of acrylics over to their table. “The sink is there, if you need water. Here are the paintbrushes,” she opens up a drawer, “and… well, there you go! Feel free to paint whatever you like.”

“How should we go about doing this?” Sanji asks. “I was thinking we could go in with no idea – just be free about it. Paint.”

“Art is a creative pursuit,” Law agrees. “It would be nice to see where the paints take us.”

“You could take one side, and I could take the other. And maybe we’ll try to see what happens in the middle,” Sanji continues.

Law nods his head. “I’ll get some water,” he says, picking up a cup and walking over to the sink. When he returns, his sleeves have been pulled up. Sanji hands him a paintbrush, but then does a double-take as his eyes drop to the pattern of inks on Law’s forearms.

“Oh?” he says. “I didn’t know –”

“Do you want to take a closer look?” Law suggests. Sanji lifts his head up, eyes wide, as Law brings his arm up to Sanji.

Sanji stares at the circle of black, at the design inked right in its centre. “Does this… mean anything?” he tries.

Law slowly draws his arm back to his side. “No, not really,” he says. Presses his lips together, and then adds, “Not this one.”

“Ah,” Sanji glances at the letters printed into his fingers.

“I have one more,” Law says, almost reluctantly, carefully. “A bigger one. That one – yes. That one means something.”

Sanji nods his head. Law takes a deep breath, before gesturing to the paints.

“Shall we begin?”

Time passes as they work side by side, each focused on their own piece. Their fingers sometimes graze one another’s as they switch paints or exchange brushes, with Sanji shooting Law a quick glance and Law raising a brow whenever it happens.

“Sanji-kun,” Conis finally speaks up, moving to stand in front of their easel. “So… how’s life in the apartment so far?”

“It’s interesting,” Sanji comments, frowning as he dabs at a spot on his canvas. “There are a lot of unique characters there.”

Law makes a sound in the back of his throat. “Unique, indeed.”

“You’re not out of the equation,” Sanji shoots back. To Conis, he says, “He’s the resident creep.”

“I will not dispute that,” Law answers. “I will, however, want to make clear that there is a far creepier person in the house.”

“Who can beat a person with the word ‘DEATH’ etched on his fingers?”

“A person who constantly drapes his body over the stairwell and inhales food with an almost alarming velocity into his seemingly extendable stomach,” Law deadpans. “A person who is too friendly to _not_ have an ulterior motive.”

Sanji pauses. “Yeah,” he accedes. “That, I agree. Luffy can be… not exactly creepy, but… disarming.” To Conis, he explains, “Luffy is… a bundle of energy. You won’t understand until you’ve met him.”

“How is Sanji, as a person?” Law asks. Sanji whips his head around to stare at Law, who merely tosses him a cursory glance. “As a friend, what do you think of him?”

“Sanji-kun?” Conis chuckles. “He’s a good person. Too kind for his own good – he gets bullied a lot.”

“I _don’t_ –”

“He seems strong on the outside, but he’s the most sensitive soul I’ve ever known,” she adds, much to Sanji’s chagrin. “People always get crushes on him.”

“I see that,” Law agrees.

“I – wait, what?” Sanji’s eyes dart over to Conis. “That’s not true. Since when do –”

“Do you remember Gin?” Conis’ smile widens. “Or Ivankov? Or the boys from G-5?”

“… Yeah, but that doesn’t mean –”

“You see?” Conis turns to Law, shaking her head. “You’ve got a lot of competitors when it comes to him.”

“I know,” Law smirks.

“There’s no compet – wait, what?”

Sanji is left sputtering in confusion as Conis chuckles and Law returns her grin.

INT – TV STUDIO

“Whoa,” Nami exhales.

“Whoa,” Vivi agrees.

“I think that’s the most flirting we’ve seen so far,” Nami comments.

“I think that’s the most flirting we _will_ see throughout all of the first dates,” Vivi replies. “And surprisingly, they’re mostly from Law.”

“Law seems pretty decided on Sanji,” Robin says. “While Sanji still seems to be exploring his options.”

“Sanji seems to like Law too,” Tashigi says. “When they had arrived in the art workshop, it was obvious that Conis was about to greet Law by name – meaning that Sanji had revealed to her earlier his hopes of getting Law as a date partner, probably.”

“Alright, wait, let’s start from the beginning,” Nami claps her hands together. “We have a lot to unpack here, girls. This is going to be fun.”

“Tashigi is right in thinking that they both had each other in mind on this date,” Reiju says, looking through her own notes. “The moment they met, Law said ‘it’s you’ – and he doesn’t seem entirely too surprised by it. He also immediately asked if Sanji was disappointing, to which Sanji indicated ‘no’ – though, obviously, no one would have been able to respond with an affirmative.”

“More telling is that Sanji replied saying he wanted to go on a hike with ‘someone who also appreciated it’,” Robin agrees. “Which leads back to their first ever meeting, on the first day – Law is the only one who would fit into that description.”

“And look at that conversation they had on the hike!” Nami says. “I’d never have expected to see Law take such a leap with _teasing_.”

“That was adorable,” Vivi laughs. “They could instantly switch from banter to talking about the more… um, philosophical discussion of death, as well.”

“I agree with Law,” Hancock pronounces. “It only makes sense for a surgeon to be well-acquainted with death. They have to know what’s at stake. I wouldn’t have it otherwise.”

“Wouldn’t you say that this is Law opening up to Sanji, like he hasn’t to anyone else in the apartment?” Tashigi asks. “He made himself available and more affable to Sanji by teasing him, and then revealing personal history like his birthplace and the relevance of his tattoos. For someone as closed-off as Law, that seems like a big step.”

“Yeah,” Nami taps her finger against the table, “but Sanji hasn’t opened up as much to him yet.”

“I think he’ll get there,” Vivi says, bouncing on her seat. “He was probably just taken aback by how forward Law was being – don’t you remember that comment? He expressed something along the lines of: didn’t know you were such a flirt!” She squeals, swinging her legs wildly. “Doesn’t that mean he felt something from Law’s advances? That was so cute!”

“Sanji is definitely interested,” Nami announces. “Just not as much as Law is, yet.”

“Didn’t he offer to accompany Law on his morning insomnia walks?” Tashigi points out.

“Oh, right!” Vivi says. “Ah, they are so cute together!”

“You really are the biggest fan of Law and Sanji, huh?” Nami quips, grinning. “It’s true that they are cute though – closer than most of the other couples so far.”

“The way Law flirts,” Reiju chuckles. “It is not for everybody.”

“Precisely. A simpleton like Luffy or a muscle-headed brute like Zoro and Kidd wouldn’t have gotten any of it,” Hancock agrees.

“Hey! Didn’t we establish that Kidd was much more than just muscles and brawn?” Vivi protests.

Hancock gives her an unimpressed look. “He needs to do more than just woodcarving to convince me.”

“Oh, oh!” Nami jumps. “Didn’t Law agree with Conis when Conis said that Sanji is someone who gets easily crushed on? Doesn’t that mean that Law _knows_ that other people are – or have been, at least – interested in Sanji; or that, even, he’s one of the people who’s crushing on Sanji?”

“Nami!” Vivi claps her hand excitedly, almost like a seal. “That’s right! I forgot about that!”

“He knows that Coby is interested,” Robin guesses. “He might have been able to tell that Kidd was, at one point, too. Law is not slow on the intake – he knows that Sanji is a catch.”

“Perhaps that’s why he’s taking the initiative here,” Reiju adds. “He knows he needs to make an impression.”

“Law even admitted to it!” Vivi says. “Law admitted that he likes Sanji – right in front of Sanji’s face! Sanji must feel something!”

“He did not say it directly to him, either,” Robin muses, “which would take the pressure off of him.”

“I wonder if there’s more from them!” Nami says. “Let’s take a quick look!”

EXT – OUTSIDE OF GRAND LINE APARTMENT

The two of them turn into the driveway and head towards the front door. The canvas has been placed into a bag, and Law carries it in one hand.

They stop in front of the door. Sanji reaches out for the door handle, just as Law does at the very same time. Law’s fingers fold over Sanji’s hand over the handle, and the two of them lift their heads up to stare at one another.

The word ‘DEATH’ stares back up at them.

“Sorry ‘bout that,” Sanji says, even though his hand is underneath. Law doesn’t pull away; just leaves his fingers there, grazing the tops of Sanji’s knuckles.

“Sanji,” he says. His grey eyes are illuminated by the warm light above the door. “You said the first date was meant to get to know someone better. What do you think, so far?”

Sanji’s gaze dances between Law’s eyes. A light flush has crawled up his cheeks; he looks a little away as he replies, “Well… it was… interesting.” He says. “Fun,” he adds, when Law doesn’t respond immediately.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Sanji finally pulls his eyes back up to meet Law’s. “It was… really fun.”

“I’m glad,” Law replies. “I had fun, too.”

A smile sneaks up Sanji’s lips, almost seemingly subconsciously; and a similar smile rises onto Law’s. They stand there, hands lightly touching, smiling at one another.

INT – TV STUDIO

“Oh my _god_!” Vivi squeals

“Oh my god indeed!” Nami agrees.

“Wow,” Tashigi says.

“Oh my…” Robin smiles.

“It looks like Coby has no chance now,” Nami says.

“Coby doesn’t need Sanji!” Vivi answers. “Coby has Kidd!”

“It is quite too early to form ships already, Vivi,” Robin says. “You might get disappointed.”

“And that shot of ‘DEATH’,” Nami comments. “Is this foreshadowing that their relationship might not work out? What is going on?”

“How could you say that, Nami?” Vivi protests. “That’s not going to happen! I mean, just… just look at them!” Vivi jabs a finger towards the screens. “Look at them and tell me that they aren’t going to be happy!”

“There’s still plenty of time,” Reiju chuckles. “Some people click faster – that’s true. But some take longer to warm up to. And there’s time for things to change. Though, of course, I agree,” she holds a palm up when Vivi looks like she’s about to explode, “they are certainly adorable together. I’d love for this to last, at least for a while more.”

“I know, I know,” Vivi deflates. “I know anything can happen, and you want to keep the suspense for the audience still, yadda yadda – but let me have this for now!” She drapes her body over the table, cheek squished against her palm, and stares at the screen. “Let me have this for now...”

EXT – OUTSIDE CONVENIENCE STORE

_“It has to be Wyper and Zoro now,”_ Nami comments. _“Doesn’t that mean we have guessed all the dates correctly?”_

Wyper stands along the curb, leaning against a lamppost. The day is overcast, windy; he stuffs his hands into his pockets and trails his gaze out into the traffic.

“Hey,” a voice calls from behind of him. “Been waiting long?”

“No,” Wyper answers, glancing at the rice ball in Zoro’s hand. “That your lunch?”

“Snack,” Zoro corrects. “C’mon… uh… what was your name again?”

 _“Zoro!”_ Nami wails, while Reiju stifles a chuckle.

“Wyper,” he says. “You are… Zoro, correct?”

“Yeah,” Zoro answers, grinning. “You chose my plant, huh? Makes sense.”

“Where are we heading to?” Wyper asks.

Zoro jabs at somewhere to their left, stuffing half the rice ball in his mouth. “It’s near,” he manages to say, with his mouth half full.

When their feet stop at a threshold, Wyper glances up. His mouth curves as his gaze scans the building. “A _dojo_ , huh?”

“Yeah,” Zoro polishes the rest of his rice ball and wipes his lips with the back of his hand. He regards Wyper, “You up for it?”

“You have no idea,” Wyper says, stretching his neck. “Could use the workout.”

 _“Are you kidding me?”_ Nami exhales. _“Zoro!”_

 _“Men,”_ Hancock scoffs.

 _“They seem more like gym buddies now than people on their first date!”_ Vivi laughs.

They find themselves an unoccupied hall in the _dojo_. Zoro raises his brow, “Don’t suppose you use swords.”

“Nah,” Wyper says. “I do MMA.”

“MMA, huh?” Zoro grins, quickly warming up by stretching his legs crackling his knuckles. “You any good?”

“You’ll know soon enough,” Wyper quips back.

 _“Damn,”_ Nami shakes her head. _“I mean, I’m all for these boys getting hot and sweaty on the first date, but the cockiness level here is too much.”_

 _“Imagine if Kidd was in the equation,”_ Reiju glances at Hancock, who presses her palm against her forehead.

She shakes her head, _“Please do not even suggest that. I will walk out of this studio if it happens.”_

They have begun. Zoro circles Wyper, his bare feet light on the floor, while Wyper merely stares back, gaze following Zoro’s form but unmoving otherwise.

When Zoro’s gaze flickers from Wyper’s face down to his feet, Wyper suddenly leaps, charging straight at Zoro and wrapping his arms around the other man’s torso. Zoro stumbles but doesn’t fall; he grabs at Wyper’s shoulders and forces a distance between them, before suddenly dropping his weight to the ground. Wyper’s grip on him falters, and Zoro charges forward, grabbing Wyper by the calves.

Zoro stands, draping Wyper halfway over his shoulder. Wyper hooks his arms under Zoro’s armpits and wraps his fingers around Zoro’s shoulders, locking him tight and then shoving his legs out as he flips himself back to standing; throwing Zoro onto the floor.

Zoro lands on his feet. He backs away, sharp grin cut across his face as he regards Wyper, eyes dancing.

 _“Okay, I’m not here to watch UFC,”_ Nami announces. _“Can we just skip this?”_

 _“Perhaps Wyper is taking this chance to market his MMA matches, and Zoro his dojo,”_ Robin suggests.

 _“I vote to skip this,”_ Hancock agrees.

Match over, the two of them sit on the floor. Zoro reaches for a water bottle and throws it Wyper’s way; Wyper catches it as it as it swerves across the air.

“So,” Wyper says after taking a long gulp of water. “This your _dojo_?”

“Nah,” Zoro wipes at his forehead with the back of his hand. “Belongs to a friend’s father. I teach here, sometimes.”

“A friend?” Wyper says. “Hm. Makes sense. Don’t get much people practising _kendo_ around here – you’d know all the practitioners.”

“She’s a childhood friend,” Zoro pauses, glancing at Wyper. “My ex, actually.”

“Your ex?”

 _“His ex?”_ Vivi echoes.

 _“Why would he tell his date about his ex?”_ Nami slaps her palm against her forehead. _“Reiju,_ this _is the guy you were voting for!”_

 _“Well,”_ Reiju chuckles. _“Honesty is commendable.”_

 _“Honestly,”_ Nami rolls her eyes.

“Yeah,” Zoro says. “But we’re still good friends. She’s amazing at _kendo._ And we knew each other since young, after all – watched this _dojo_ grow into what it is now. Wouldn’t leave it even if I could.”

“Yeah,” Wyper agrees. “I understand. Something like this cannot be replaced, after all.” They lapse into a short period of silence, until Wyper adds, “What else is there to do here?”

“Here?” Zoro frowns. “In the _dojo_?”

“Yeah.”

“There’s a mess hall,” Zoro says, “A meditation hall, and… well,” a smirk curls up Zoro’s lips. “We have our own private _onsen_.”

“ _Onsen?”_ Wyper repeats. “A hot spring?”

“Yeah,” Zoro grins at him. “Wanna go?”

“Huh,” Wyper cocks a brow. “First date and you’re already trying to get me hot, sweaty, _and_ naked.”

“Got a problem with that?”

“Nah,” Wyper gets up to his feet. He smirks. “Hot spring sounds great right now.”

INT – HOT SPRING

They are soaking in the tub, Zoro and Wyper on opposite sides of one another. Wyper sighs and sinks himself lower into the water, his shoulders dipping in. “This feels great.”

“Yeah,” Zoro says, glancing up at the other man. “Nice tats. They mean something?” He gestures to the curl of inks around Wyper’s left arm.

“A symbol of my hometown,” Wyper says. “We all have it, once we come of age – the face one,” he indicates his left eye, “is my own addition, though.”

“It’s cool,” Zoro acknowledges. “Why’d you add it?”

“My own conviction,” he says. “Most of my childhood forest is gone by now. And body ink can be covered easily by clothes. I wanted to look in the mirror everyday and be reminded of what I’m here for – what I’m here to do. And I want the people who did this to look me in the face and see what they’ve done.” Despite his strong words, Wyper allows himself to slip further in, the water now rising to his chin. “Ah, this is good.”

“Nothing like _onsen_ during the winter,” Zoro agrees. “I like your conviction. I have something similar: I want to be the best swordsman in the world. For that, I have this,” he gestures vaguely to the white scar across his left eye. “It was from when I took a stab at the greatest swordsman in the world – Dracule Mihawk. He overpowered me easily. Reminded me that this is not just fun and games – I could have been blinded, if he wanted to hurt me.”

Wyper eyes the scar. “Best swordsman in the world, huh?” he ponders. “That’s a nice goal to have.”

“Yeah.”

The hot water bubbles along the surface of their bath; steam rises thick and drifts over their features. “So,” Wyper begins. “This how you usually treat first dates? You force them into a fight to test their capability for a relationship?”

Zoro looks up. He bares his teeth in a sharp grin, “Maybe. Yeah.”

“So,” Wyper continues. “What’s the result?”

“You are here now, aren’t you?” Zoro’s smile sharpens. He rests his elbows on the lid of the bath, water spilling out and trickling onto the floor. “What’d you think?”

“So, you aren’t the sort who’d invite just anyone to strip down and take a soak?” Wyper cocks his brow, lifting his torso up and mirroring Zoro’s posture. “And here I thought you’d do this for anybody.”

Zoro laughs. “And you? You’d jump into the nearest bath if someone offered?”

“Maybe,” Wyper shrugs. “If they deserved it.”

“Ha,” Zoro shakes his head a little. “Good to know.” And he lifts his legs out of the water for a second, only to lower it back down and begin kicking.

Water splatters from Zoro’s sudden movement, raining down onto Wyper as Wyper jolts and shifts away, turning his head to one side. “Bah!” he exhales, stretching his neck out to avoid the flying droplets. “What are you _doing?”_

“Do I deserve it now?” Zoro grins, flailing his legs more wildly than before.

“You –” Wyper turns around and grabs Zoro by the ankles. He shoots a sudden smile, “Yeah. Definitely.” And he lifts the ankles up and downs Zoro’s head straight into the tub.

When Zoro re-emerges, he gasps for breath, grabbing at the sides of the tub to keep afloat. “ _Ugh_ ,” he shakes the water from his hair. Wyper laughs.

“Thanks for the _onsen_ ,” he says, grinning. 

Zoro grunts, and then grabs a nearby bucket.

INT – TV STUDIO

“Okay,” Nami says. “So… _that_ escalated quickly.”

“How is it that they’re acting more like teenage boys than Wyper did with Luffy?” Vivi shakes her head. “And who knew that Zoro had this side to him?”

Robin turns to Reiju. “Is this what you expected of the person you were rooting for?” she teases. Reiju smiles and gives a little shrug.

“I did say that Zoro will reveal another unexpected side to himself soon,” she replies. “Is this not it?”

“You said it’d be something _charming_!” Nami interjects, and Reiju laughs.

“Well, I’m sure this would be charming for some people. Maybe Wyper, even.”

“First dates are meant to be fun,” Tashigi pipes up. “And this is the most fun we’ve seen Zoro had so far. And perhaps Wyper really needed this _onsen_ – especially after the cold-water douse Luffy had made him go through just the day before.”

“Oh, yeah…” Vivi and Nami chime in unison. “Perhaps his brain has been fried since that day,” Nami adds. “That’s why he’s doing such ridiculous things now.”

“I think it’s cute,” Vivi says, and at Nami’s sigh, she adds, “Come on! You can’t say that _that_ isn’t adorable!”

“It’s also the most we’ve heard Zoro talk about himself,” Robin agrees. “If he’s comfortable enough to be open _and_ to do… _that_ ,” Robin indicates the screen, “especially within such a short duration of time, perhaps it could mean that Zoro has found someone he can be himself with.”

“Or he’s just the sort of person to only open up in one-on-one meetings,” Hancock suggests. “Regardless, this pairing is disgusting. I’d far prefer to watch Law and Sanji’s interactions than this… teenage flirting.”

“What is it, Vivi?” Nami leans in close to the blue-haired girl, grinning. “Which is the better pair? Law-Sanji, or Zoro-Wyper?”

“That’s not fair!” Vivi protests. “We haven’t seen enough of Zoro and Wyper yet. And… you can’t compare the two! It’s so different!”

“How about Kidd-Coby versus Law-Sanji, then?” Nami edits. Vivi groans, burying her face in her hands.

“You can’t do this to me, Nami!” she says. “I can’t… they’re different!”

“If you _had_ to choose one…”

“I mean… Kidd and Coby are adorable in that cute, still-getting-to-know-each-other and being-pleasantly-surprised-by-one-another phase; while Law and Sanji are adorable in that cocky-flirting yet still getting-to-know-one-another phase! I can’t – you can’t make me choose, Nami! That’s unfair! Let’s just… let’s just continue watching Zoro and Wyper’s date, alright?”

Nami laughs. “Sure, sure. I won’t make you think about it… for now.”

INT – SUSHI RESTAURANT

“Wasabi?” Zoro gestures to the pale-green paste in his saucer.

“Yeah, of course,” Wyper says, dipping his sashimi in a liberal amount of wasabi. Zoro’s eyes widen as he watches Wyper bring the wasabi-doused fish to his lips.

Wyper shifts his gaze to Zoro. With a smirk, he snaps his arm out to Zoro’s face, and when Zoro’s lips part in surprise, Wyper stuffs the sashimi straight into his mouth.

“ _Agh,”_ Zoro closes his lips around the sashimi. His eyes bulge; his ears go pink. He swallows, heavily, and then his forehead creases together and he squeezes his eyes shut. “Ah, it’s – it’s hot!” he says, peeling an eyelid open in search of water.

“Here,” Wyper pushes a cup toward him. Zoro takes it and downs it, only to nearly spit it out.

“It _burns_!” he yells, slamming the cup of _sake_ onto the counter. Wyper stifles a chuckle, pointedly turning to look out the window when Zoro finally finds the water and gulps it down. “You!”

“Oh, thought you could take the heat?” Wyper answers, looking at Zoro from his reflection in the glass.

 _“This is what Coby feeding Kidd could have looked like,”_ Nami comments.

Vivi sputters in indignation, _“No! Don’t say that!”_

 _“I really think Wyper’s brain has gotten fried since being forced into the freezing sea by Luffy,”_ Robin comments. _“Perhaps something in his brain has short-circuited. Maybe this is the brand new Wyper we’ll see from now on.”_

 _“And he was so intense, too,”_ Nami shakes her head, sighing.

Zoro glares at Wyper as the next dish arrives – _soba_. Wyper ladles some into his own plate, before glancing at Zoro. “How much do you want?” he offers.

“Nothing if it comes from _you_ ,” Zoro says.

“You’re such a kid,” Wyper smiles. “Come on,” he says, leaning over to portion some for Zoro.

Zoro pulls his plate back, “Who’s the person who just _force-fed_ me wasabi?”

“We’re on a date,” Wyper raises his brow. “I thought it was only courteous for me to feed my date first.”

“Courteous, my ass!” Zoro bristles. He scoops some noodles into his own plate. Wyper leans back and folds his arms across his chest, raising his brow when Zoro glances up at him. “What?”

“You remind me of my friend,” he says. “From when I was younger. We used to prank each other all the time. He’d lure me to a wasp’s nest and knock the nest over above my head; I’d dump sugar water over his head and laugh as bees chased after him. It was fun.”

Zoro pauses, noodles halfway to his lips. “What happened?”

“We grew apart,” Wyper admits. “He… thought I was too intense. Too… extreme. Maybe I was, when I was younger – I certainly had nothing else on my mind but to make those big corporations pay. I didn’t see anything else. Didn’t care about anything else, in fact. Some of my friends stayed – a lot left. He did.”

“That’s life,” Zoro slurps up the rest of his noodles. “People come and go. I had two friends who used to follow me everywhere – they don’t, anymore. Haven’t seen them in a while, in fact. But I’m sure they’re still doing well; we’ll meet again if fate lets us.”

“Never pegged you as a person who cared much about fate,” Wyper says. “People who chase after dreams like ours don’t, usually.”

“I don’t care about fate – I’ll make my own,” Zoro rests his palms on the table. “But there are some things that you cannot control in this world. Like other people, for instance. So, about your relations with them – it’s about fate. Being here, in this apartment, is fate. Being here, on a date with you now, is fate. I can’t control either of those. I can only control myself.”

“Couldn’t say it better myself,” Wyper says. “My friends were surprised that I signed myself up for this. I wasn’t planning on doing it, but… something they said to me from before stuck, and I thought maybe this was a chance. I could… try something new.”

“What did they say?”

Wyper’s gaze drifts out the window again, “They said I was too intense. Too fixated on just one thing. That I needed to find something else to occupy my time – find someone else, perhaps, to balance things out. They seemed to think I needed someone more fun, who can soften my edges.” He scoffs, “Personally, I don’t buy that ‘opposites attract’ crap. But I thought they could have been on to something. When I was younger, it was fine to throw all my energy into fighting the big corporations and things like that. But it gets really tiring, especially when you’re toiling day in day out without anything to show for progress. So, I figured… maybe there was some sense to their words. Maybe I could try something new, find someone – maybe make some new friends. It might be better for me.”

“Yeah…” Zoro agrees. “What… type of person do you think you need, then? If you don’t agree with their description?”

“Someone… more grounded,” Wyper says, shifting his gaze back to Zoro. “Who can support me through this. Being an environmentalist isn’t easy, but it’s also not something that I can ever give up. If they don’t understand this and cannot stick by me throughout, then it’s not going to work out. I’m not giving this up for anyone.”

“I understand,” Zoro answers. “I am not giving up my dream for anyone either. If they can’t take it then… that’s fine by me. But we can’t be together, then.”

“Thought you’d understand,” Wyper smiles, slightly. “Don’t really know the rest too well yet, but it seems that only the two of us have the more… impossible dreams – for a lack of better word.”

“It’s only impossible if it isn’t us,” Zoro cocks a smirk. Wyper lets out a snort.

“Yeah,” he shakes his head. “Yeah, that too.”

INT – GRAND LINE APARTMENT

“Hey!” Luffy yells from his perch on the sofa, wiggling his legs. “You guys are back!”

“Yeah,” Zoro says as he and Wyper turn into the second storey living room.

“It’s Christmas Eve!” Luffy says. Everyone has settled into the various crevices in the living room, either sunken into beanbag chairs (Coby; Sanji), or seated on the sofa (Law; Kidd). Cards are scattered over the tabletop, cans of unfinished drinks are set upon the various surfaces around the room, Luffy holds a remote in his hand. “Come on! Sanji made popcorn and fries,” Luffy taps the foldable table that laden with plates of fries, popcorn, chicken bites, salad, and bottles of drinks, “and we’re gonna watch a film together soon!”

“Oh?” Zoro asks. “What film?”

“The most festive film of course,” Luffy says. “Pirates of the Caribbean!”

Wyper lets out a huff of breath, “How on earth is Pirates of the Caribbean _festive_ –”

“Don’t even start,” Kidd sighs, shaking his head, but it’s too late.

Luffy turns to Wyper, eyes wide. “Because it’s about pirates! Setting sail in the open ocean, having fun and embarking on adventures! Isn’t Christmas about dreams? Isn’t Pirates of the Caribbean the biggest romance we could ever dream of? Of course, it’s the most festive film! And we’re gonna watch them all – we’ve already decided –”

“ _You_ have already decided,” Law corrects.

“How was your date?” Coby hastily interjects. Luffy’s mouth falls open.

“Oh right! You guys went on a date! How was it? Was Zoro better than me, Wyper?” Luffy leans forward out at the two of them. “Nah, that’s not possible. We had the best date! How could anything beat swimming in the ocean in the winter?”

“You – _what_?” Sanji gapes at Luffy.

“Well…” Zoro and Wyper exchange glances.

“We also had the best meal! But Wyper only ate some stupid green sandwich,” Luffy pulls a face.

“So, what did you do?” Coby glances at Luffy, before turning to face Zoro.

“We went to the _dojo_ ,” he says.

“Oh?” Law raises a brow.

“Had sushi after,” Wyper adds.

“Sushi ~??!!”

“Just settle down, you idiot,” Sanji knocks Luffy on the head. “Sit down, you guys. There’s plenty of food and drinks – if Luffy doesn’t get to it first.”

The rest make space as Zoro sits himself on an armrest beside Kidd and Wyper settles on the floor, leaning against the sofa. Luffy presses ‘play’, and the movie opens up on the TV screen.

“Hand me a beer,” Zoro says. Luffy grabs one and throws it over his head, nearly knocking Kidd right in the temple. Kidd grabs it before it lands, scowling, and then jabs it in front of Zoro’s face. “Thanks,” Zoro says, swiping it over.

“Look, look, look!” Luffy screeches into Law’s ear. Law winces, inching his body towards Kidd. “It’s happening! It’s starting!”

“That’s what happens when you click _‘play’_ ,” Law deadpans. Kidd stifles a chuckle.

“I actually haven’t seen this before,” Coby admits to Sanji.

“I watched it a long time ago, when it first came out,” Sanji answers. “It’s pretty great, actually. At least Luffy had the sense to not choose something stupid – this one’s fun.”

“Haven’t watched it either,” Wyper pipes up. “Aisa always screams at me to watch it, though.”

They descend into silence just as Elizabeth Swann makes her first appearance.

INT – TV STUDIO

“Oh, that scene was nice,” Nami comments. “Seeing everyone around the television, huddled together watching a film…”

“That’s not the main part of the episode, though, was it?” Vivi speaks up. “I didn’t realise it earlier until Law’s response came, but… don’t you think that Zoro could have planned the _dojo_ date for Law?”

“Indeed,” Robin chimes in. “Especially since Law does _kendo_ , as well. And Zoro hadn’t known that Wyper did MMA – nor would he have planned a _dojo_ date if he had Coby in mind.”

“Wonder what it will be like if Law was there instead of Wyper,” Tashigi purses her lips. “The sword-fighting would have been fascinating to watch, but would Law have accepted the invite to the _onsen_? He doesn’t seem the sort who’d so readily agree to things like sharing a bath with someone else – and he only seems to have opened up to Sanji so far, too.”

“Maybe he’d have opened up to Zoro, too,” Reiju suggests. “At least, they have common interests, and their temperaments do seem like they’d match too.”

“Also, you forget,” Nami comments. “Zoro’s not gonna offer that _onsen_ to anyone. Like what Wyper said – the sparring is like a hurdle to cross. At least, if you want to date Zoro. If you don’t impress him there, your road to his path stops. Gone. Law seems like he’d probably get pass that hurdle, but who knows?”

“Nami, you make it sound like a dating game,” Vivi chuckles. “Like Zoro is one of the men you can seduce by choosing the right options.”

“Is he not?” Nami smirks. Vivi slaps her on the shoulder. “I can already see it: beer and work-outs. That’s the way to Zoro’s heart.”

“If we are thinking hypotheticals now, that’ll mean that Wyper would have been on a date with Sanji. Wyper would certainly enjoy the nature,” Robin comments. “The painting, on the other hand… he could pull a Kidd and surprise us, certainly – but I think it also depends on the person. If Wyper does not feel comfortable enough with Sanji, the painting might have been awkward to watch.”

“But we’ve all agreed that Sanji planned his date with Law in mind, right?” Vivi whips her head back and forth from Robin, to Nami. “ _Right?”_

“Well,” Nami says. “Today we’re supposed to guess their respective love lines once again. It should be easy, since they’ve just gone on dates – but also nothing is ever like what it seems. They are supposed to message people they are _interested in_ ; just because they went on a date with someone doesn’t mean it has elicited a love signal between them.”

“Like with Wyper and Luffy,” Tashigi points out. Nami nods her head.

“Precisely.”

“It should be easy – everyone would message their respective date partners, except that Wyper would message Zoro and not Luffy,” Hancock decides.

“That sounds about right,” Nami concedes. “But let’s think this through, alright? So… Kidd had a wonderful date with Coby last week.”

“That was adorable,” Vivi agrees.

“Would he message Coby?”

“I stick to my sentiments that Kidd had no one in mind prior to this date,” Robin says, “and this date certainly has piqued his interest in Coby. Since he has come into this with no target beforehand, it seems pretty clear that his love signal today would be directed to Coby.”

“Also, there were plenty of signals!” Vivi bobs her head. “The motorbike incident, for one –”

“I think that Kidd did that more to tease him than anything,” Tashigi pipes up, “but I do agree that he, at least, thought Coby as endearing – at least from his reactions. No one else would have given that sort of a reaction, I think.”

“—and then once again with the headband. Coby was visibly embarrassed and even though Kidd was amused, he had the sense not to tease him about it.”

“Admirable,” Hancock approves.

“Could Coby have been subconsciously flirting with Kidd, too?” Nami points out. “Especially with that headband incident. I mean, how difficult is it to put on a freaking headband? You don’t need to ask for help – _unless_ , you know, you want to butter up to someone. Get their attention.”

“You seem to be familiar with that course of action,” Vivi jokes. Nami rolls her eyes and flips her hair.

“I don’t need to do something like that for people to give me the attention that I want.”

“I agree with Nami,” Robin smiles. “I don’t think it’s something Coby has thought of as necessarily flirting, but I do think that it was a signal on his part.”

“The feeding was _definitely_ a signal, too,” Vivi says. The rest nod their heads in agreement. “You wouldn’t feed someone you were interested in – you wouldn’t even consider it!”

“Alright, so Kidd and Coby have been pretty much established,” Nami says, drawing a line between the both of them. “Now, let’s talk… well, do we really need to consider Luffy and Wyper?”

“On Wyper’s end, no,” Reiju admits, “But you never know about Luffy. Up to now, Luffy hasn’t really indicated much interest in anyone. He’s showing attention to Wyper now because Wyper was his first date, but would Luffy actually message Wyper?”

“According to trend, Luffy _has_ been texting whoever he’s been interacting with the most,” Tashigi says. “Since we’ve only actually seen Luffy interacting with Wyper, he’d likely choose to message Wyper.”

“What if,” Nami says, “and I’m just throwing this out there so we could think about it, but what if Luffy’s found someone of interest already?”

“Between his date with Wyper and now?” Vivi asks. “I mean… we haven’t seen any indication of it yet, so it’ll be difficult to figure out.”

“I actually think that Luffy has been showing some signs of interest towards Law,” Robin answers. “At least… he’s been seen around Law. Though I believe that it’s purely because Law had gifted him food that one time, and Luffy is drawn to him because of that.”

“Yeah,” Vivi nods. “I don’t think Luffy has anyone in mind yet for sure. He’ll probably message Wyper.”

“Alright then,” Nami draws a line from Luffy to Wyper. “And… Wyper?”

“Zoro,” Tashigi says. “And likewise, Zoro to Wyper.”

“Hmph,” Hancock sniffs. “It’s true. We have not seen them regress into being teenagers, except for when they were hanging out together.”

“Doesn’t it seem more like they could be good friends, too?” Nami suggests.

“Well, yes,” Reiju concedes. “Perhaps in the future – but the nature of things is that they were there on a date. Wyper was very evidently flirting with Zoro, and Zoro back at him.”

“Did you see the look they both shared when Luffy asked about their date?” Vivi giggles. “Luffy was like, ‘nothing can be better than our winter swim!’ and the two of them were both thinking about the infinitely more winter-appropriate _onsen_ swim in response.”

“They also opened up to one another, which is another good sign,” Tashigi says. “They talked about their respective dreams, and about the type of people they’d like to be with.”

“Did you hear Wyper’s, though?” Nami says. “Doesn’t it sound like he’s describing both his dates? An upbeat, cheery person – that’ll be Luffy; a more grounded person who can support him – that’ll be Zoro.”

“I don’t think it was on purpose,” Vivi says, “but it’s funny how things matched up.”

“It feels like he’s describing the person he wants, and the person he needs,” Robin suggests. “He wants a person who would stand by him and who would support him through his dreams, who could be his anchor; meanwhile, what he needs – or at least, what his friends think he needs – is a person who is more carefree, who’d allow him to have more fun and lighten up. It depends on what he decides to focus on, ultimately. Though more frequently than not, people choose the ones they want to be with – because the heart is not something that can be easily set off from its trajectory, even if logic dictates otherwise.”

“Emotions are not logical, after all,” Reiju agrees. “So, now we are putting Luffy as someone he needs and Zoro as someone he wants. It is very rare that those two things match up together, but it could be interesting to see how this plays out throughout the rest of the weeks.”

“But for now, we’re decided on Wyper to Zoro?” Vivi asks. Reiju and Robin nod.

“It seems so, yes,” Robin says.

“Alright, then,” Nami draws an arrow from Wyper to Zoro. “And Zoro back to Wyper?”

“Yes,” Reiju agrees. “Zoro, like Kidd, hasn’t had a clear target from the beginning. This date, at least, has honed in on someone he seems to have developed an interest in.”

Nami draws an arrow back from Zoro to Wyper. “Okay, so this next one should be easy: Law to Sanji, Sanji to Law?”

“Law to Sanji,” Tashigi affirms. “He hasn’t really shifted away much from Sanji since the beginning. And that last scene…” she blushes a little, “that was really… really something.”

“They seem to really like each other,” Hancock agrees

“I know!” Vivi squeals. “I think that Sanji was intrigued in Law, definitely – especially since Law has been showing him interest – and this date definitely settled it! Sanji was obviously caught off-guard at Law’s question right by the doorstep, but I can see his heart fluttering at that question – and that little brush of hands!”

“You’re in too deep,” Nami laughs.

“I mean –”

“But I agree,” Nami says. “I still think that things can change – and should change – but for now, Law’s definitely still interested in Sanji, and vice versa.”

“So, we’re agreed?” Vivi tries.

“I just want to point out though,” Nami continues, “That Sanji was sitting with Coby at that last scene. Could that mean something?”

“Could Coby have been the one to sit beside Sanji?” Tashigi frowns. “Perhaps he’s a little lost after his date with Kidd, because he thought he liked Sanji and then Kidd came and shook things up.”

“I think that Coby would feel something like that,” Reiju agrees, “but their seating at the living room might be something more subconscious. Maybe they both didn’t want to sit beside their dates – it might be a little awkward, after all, since they’d just gone out on their dates.”

“Or they could still be sniffing around,” Hancock says. “Either way, precisely – nothing is set in stone yet. But I do think that Law and Sanji would message one another, especially after today’s date. There is no way they wouldn’t.”

“Alright then,” Nami draws an arrow between Law and Sanji. “Now then… let’s distribute our crystals from the week before!” She leans over and distributes the crystals to each one of them. “And here’s to hoping that we’ll continue on this winning streak into next week!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not gonna lie, im having so much fun with this. but updates might be slower from now on, because i have vague plans to participate in nanowrimo and might not have as much time to write!
> 
> also, this update was delayed because i was, ahem, rewatching the skypiea arc, and of course wyper just HAD to engage in battle with both his dates. he was also a lot more intense than i remember him being (but ofc, still amazing). i am also beginning to like wyper a lot and all the ships that are slowly unfolding and ahhhh, this will be fun to watch.
> 
> on an unrelated note, i am very slowly rewatching one piece while waiting to binge the wano anime (i'm up to date with the manga though!) so yeah. do what you will with this piece of information.


	6. christmas nightmares

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well, when i said i'd be busy in november because of nano, i didn't expect to spend the entire month not touching this story. that being said, i wrote the front part of this at the end of october, and finished the rest of it (8k+ of it) today. yes, today. 
> 
> compared to an actual novel, this is pretty fun and easy to write and the characters usually direct themselves, which makes things all the more easier! anyway, so this is a longer chapter -- it's slightly over 10k words -- but i guess it makes up for the wait! i have also adjusted the way i'm using randomisers. i'll no longer be using them for the final pairings at the end of the episode (doesn't make sense to use randomisers to dictate their love lines when they've already gotten to know one another), but most interactions in-between are still dictated using the randomisers!
> 
> christmas has arrived a little early in this fic, but here you go!
> 
> ps. made a tiny edit in the front of this chapter

**chapter six: christmas nightmares**

  
INT – TV STUDIO 

**  
****Kidd >>> Coby**

**“Learn to eat meat.”**

  
  


**Coby >>> Kidd**

**“Woodcarving was fun!”**

  
  


**Luffy >>> Wyper**

**“Winter swimming sure was fun, huh? We should do it again! With everyone else! That’ll be cool!”**

  
  


**Wyper >>> Zoro**

**“** **_Onsen_ ** **was great.”**

  
  


**Zoro >>> Wyper**

**“Next time, bring me to your training hall.”**

  
  


**Law >>> Sanji**

**“Glad that you’ve enjoyed yourself.”**

  
  


**Sanji >>> Law**

**“I had a great time.”**

“So,” Nami brings out the crystals again. “We are on _fire_!”

“Last week was easy,” Hancock sniffs. 

“Oh? Are you saying that you don’t think we can get it right again for this week?” Nami raises her brows. Hancock shoots her a glare.

“I’m just saying that last week’s was no test of our capabilities,” Hancock answers. “I am certain that I, at least, will get everything right this week.”

“We'll see about that," Nami grins ."For now, let’s see what’s up! It’s Christmas, isn’t it?”

“Didn’t Luffy have, um… plans for Christmas?” Tashigi says, smiling abashedly.

“Oh, right!” Vivi grins. “I wonder… how that plan is faring?” 

INT – GRAND LINE APARTMENT

Dawn has only just risen from the horizon. A figure sits up, throws the covers off, and tip-toes out of bed. 

He glances one way, then the other, before hopping over to the door and setting his hand down on the handle. At the creak of the door opening, he flinches, freezing in the shadows of the coat rack. 

No one moves.

He heaves a sigh, nudges the door open wider, and slips out. In the dark of the early morning, the figure flits down the steps and turns into the kitchen.

“Sanji!” he says, as the blond turns around to face him.

“Luffy?” Sanji raises his brows, glancing up at the clock. “What’re you doing awake so early?”

“It’s Christmas!” Luffy says, almost too loudly, and then slaps a palm over his mouth. He turns and stares at the staircase – there’s no one there. He sighs and releases his mouth. “It’s Christmas!” he repeats in a softer tone. 

“Yeah, and?”

“We said we’d do it! Remember? Santa and the elves!” 

Sanji pauses midway through cutting some vegetables. “You mean it?”

Luffy scrunches his lips together into a pout, “Of course I did! We gotta get the costumes and hide it before anyone else notices!”

“Where are we going to get the costumes on Christmas Day itself?” 

“I have a friend! He has loads of costumes! If we leave now, we can get it from him and then sneak it into the apartment before anyone else wakes up!”

“And the marimo?” Sanji asks.

“I was thinking you could do it, since he rooms with you! And also, Torao is there, and Torao wakes up early, doesn’t he? I don’t want him to see me! He’ll know something’s up!”

Sanji lets loose a sigh and finishes the rest of his chopping before sliding the ingredients into a small bowl. “You make sense, but you got one thing wrong – Law’s already awake. He left early this morning – something about dropping a surprise present at his father’s house before his father wakes – so you don’t have to worry about that. We can go get him together; Wyper’s sleeping at the other end of the room, so if we’re careful he won’t wake.”

“Ooh, okay! That’s great! You’re the best!” Luffy beams up at the blond. “So… let’s go! Let’s go, let’s go, let’s go!”

“I think it’ll be too suspicious if I left the cooking half-done, so give me a few minutes to finish up the porridge first, alright?” Sanji says, turning to open the pot lid.

“Hurry!”

“Yes, yes,” he grunts in response.

A couple of minutes later, they are inching towards the door to the bedroom. Luffy dances on his toes while Sanji rolls his eyes and walks up to Zoro’s bed. 

He knocks him on the forehead with his knuckles. “Oi,” he says. On the other end, Wyper stirs. Luffy jumps, wide-eyed, and then rushes to Zoro’s side as Zoro slowly peels his eyelids open.

“Wh – umph,” Luffy slams a hand over Zoro’s mouth, pulling him off the bed across the floor. 

“Get his legs,” Luffy whispers. Sanji stifles a laughter as he grabs at the man’s legs, Zoro’s eyes now large. They somehow make it out of the room without getting hit by Zoro, and Sanji hastily shuts the bedroom door close before Zoro can make a sound.

“What the he—”

“ _Shhhh_ ,” Luffy hisses, throwing his bedroom slipper at Zoro’s face. “Downstairs,” he indicates, pulling Zoro up by the wrist and dragging him down the stairs.

“What the _hell_ Luffy,” Zoro flings Luffy off from him. “You kidnapped me out of bed at goddamn –” he glances at the clock “Seven in the morning?”

“We gotta go!” Luffy bounces on his feet. “Christmas outfits!”

“What?” Zoro frowns. 

EXT – CARPARK; INT - GRAND LINE APARTMENT

“Are you kidding me?” Zoro stares at the elf outfit. “I’m not wearing that.”

“You said you would! Besides, it’s all Bon has,” Luffy pouts. “Come on!”

“That isn’t an elf,” Zoro says. “That’s Peter Pan.”

“They’re not so different,” Sanji turns away to hide his chuckle. “Just that this one is greener. Huh, you might be fully camouflaged in it.”

“Shut up,” Zoro throws his floppy green hat Sanji’s way. “How come you get to have the proper elf outfit?”

Luffy laughs. “That’s because Bon liked him!”

“Luffy,” Sanji pauses, holding up the outfit. “Is this a skirt.”

Luffy’s cackles grow louder. “Yeah! Bon saw your legs and said he had the perfect outfit for it! Said he couldn’t bear to hide all of that under some pants.” Even with Sanji’s fingers clutched around Luffy’s collar, Luffy continues laughing. “It’s funny! He wanted to tag along and do your make-up too! But he has a party today too so he couldn’t!”

“That isn’t funny,” Sanji grits his teeth, tossing Zoro a dirty look when the other man laughs. “What’re _you_ laughing about, Peter Pan-marimo?”

“This ain’t too bad after all,” Zoro says, patting his outfit.

“Hurry! Put them on!” Luffy’s already shrugging out of his pants. Sanji’s hands shift down to lock Luffy’s wrists together before he has the chance to fully shimmy out of them.

“We’re not going to change in the _carpark_!” Sanji says.

“What? Then it won’t be a surprise if we changed indoors!”

“There’s something called a _bathroom_ ,” Sanji continues, only for Zoro to peel his shirt off his head. “Put your clothes back on!”

“If you’re too shy, you can do it in the car,” Zoro shrugs. Luffy laughs, yanking his hands from Sanji’s grip. 

He pats Sanji on the back heavily. “Don’t worry about it, Sanji!”

“I – _ugh_ , you brutes!” Sanji throws his jacket against the hood of the car. “Fine. _Fine_ . I’ll be back there,” he grabs his outfit and stalks over to the back of the car. “Do _not_ come in here.”

“We won’t!” Luffy promises, already down to his boxers.

“Not interested,” Zoro waves at Sanji dismissively.

A few minutes later, they are done. Luffy chortles at Zoro’s outfit, whipping out his phone. “Ooh! Is this considered green screen?” he cackles. “If I take a video of this and put it on my YouTube channel, could people do things with it?”

“Don’t you _dare_ ,” Zoro warns. Sanji emerges from the back of the car, and Zoro’s gaze trails up to him. His cheeks balloon. “What the _hell_ is that?” he says, holding his laughter.

“Shut up.” The skirt is nearly halfway up Sanji’s thigh, lined with a soft furry red fabric. It flares out at his waist, and Sanji taps his elf slippers on the floor impatiently. “Can we go now?” He glances over at Luffy.

Luffy’s white wig is so long it nearly falls into his eyes, and his beard is longer still, nearly waist-length. It is entangled around his neck and armpits, but Luffy doesn’t seem to have noticed. Instead, he pats his drooping pot belly and rubs at the tangled mess of hair under his chin. “Hohoho, it’s time to go!”

They settle themselves on the second-storey living room, Luffy taking up a wide expanse of the sofa while Zoro and Sanji sit on his either side.

“I can’t believe we’re doing this,” Zoro hisses.

“Can’t believe I’m agreeing with you here,” Sanji answers, “but neither can I.”

They sit there for a long moment, Luffy swinging his legs while munching on potato chips while Zoro scratches at his arm and Sanji tugs his skirt down. 

“How long do we have to wait here for?” Sanji asks.

“Dunno,” Luffy crushes more chips under his teeth.

“What are we gonna do when someone comes down?”

“Dunno,” Luffy swallows and stuffs more chips into his mouth.

“… What even are we _doing_ ,” Sanji runs a hand over his hair, when a door opens. A set of footsteps emerge, thudding above their heads.

“Someone’s coming,” Zoro glances to the stairwell.

“Oooooh,” Luffy downs the entire bag of chips into his mouth, and begins crunching on them loudly. 

The person wanders around above their heads, drifting to the bathroom and closing the door shut before returning back to the room. Luffy yawns, already having finished his chips. Zoro resumes scratching at his arms. Sanji taps his elven-booted foot against the floor.

The thudding grows louder, nearer. “He’s coming down,” Sanji says, just as the person pads down the stairs, hand grazing along the railing.

Freezes at the sight of the three of them, seated in a row on the sofa, red and white and green.

“ _Hohoho!_ Merry Christmas!” Luffy exclaims, stroking at his beard – now littered with crumbs. “Come here, Coby!”

Coby’s eyes dart from Luffy, to the obnoxious green on Zoro, to the thigh-high stocking on Sanji. He gulps. “Um…” his fingers wrap tighter around the railing, “what is going on?”

“Come here!” Luffy demands, patting at his knees. Coby’s feet drift forward, seemingly almost on its own volition. 

He glances at Sanji, “Sanji?” he tries. “What… um, what is going on here?”

“Just get over here,” Sanji nods at Luffy’s direction. “He won’t shut up until you do.”

“Is that… Peter Pan?” Coby stares at Zoro as he carefully inches forward. Zoro merely grunts as a response. 

The moment Coby is close enough, Luffy grabs him by the wrist and yanks him downward, pulling Coby unceremoniously into his lap. “Coby,” Luffy strokes at his beard.

Coby grabs at the back of the sofa with one hand, his head collapsing towards Zoro as he barely manages to balance himself atop Luffy’s skinny thighs. Zoro doesn’t bother to help Coby up, merely grins wide. “Merry Christmas,” he says.

“A-Ah,” Coby pulls himself up and makes to get up from Luffy’s lap, but Luffy yanks him back down. “Um… this is a little weird, Luffy, I’m not a kid anymore –”

“Have you been a good child this year? Luffy asks, frowning at Coby. “Or a bad one?”

Zoro swallows his chuckles at the severity in Luffy’s tone, while Sanji whips out a camera from behind him.

“Say ‘cheese’!” Sanji says, snapping the photo before Coby can even register the lens in front of him.

Coby blinks the spots away from his eyes as Luffy leans in closer. His eyes grow wider as he regards Coby in front of him. “What have you done this year?”

“I –” Coby tries to pull away from the proximity, but Luffy’s grip is apparently too strong. “I… entered the police academy,” he says. Luffy nods his head

“And?”

“Um… entered the Grand Line Apartment…”

“What did you do there?”

“This is more like an interrogation,” Zoro laughs, shaking his head.

“Met some really… interesting… figures,” he averts his gaze. “Thought I could make some good friends there – I’m, um, not too sure now…”

“Yosh!” Luffy pulls away and slams his fist into his palm. “I have decided!”

“You… have?” Coby blinks his eyes up at Luffy.

“Yes. You have been a good kid – you may enter!” Luffy shoves Coby out from his lap, and Coby crashes onto the floor. “Merry Christmas!” He grabs at some candies hidden under his Santa robes and throws it at Coby. Coby winces as they bounce off his head. 

“Merry… Merry Christmas, Luffy,” he says, hurrying to his feet, eyes still darting between Zoro and Luffy and Sanji. “Is there… is there anything else?”

“Nope,” Luffy pops the ‘p’. “You may enter.” 

Coby glances between Luffy, Zoro, and Sanji furtively as he side-steps the candies to enter the kitchen. He carefully peeks at the pot, before lifting his eyes to Sanji.

“You can eat it,” Sanji sighs, getting up to retrieve the candies. To Luffy, he says, “I still don’t understand why you need to throw candies. They aren’t a Christmas thing.”

“It’s _our_ Christmas thing!” Luffy proclaims. “Let me see the photo!” 

Sanji relents, handing the camera over to Luffy. The photo Sanji has captured is of Coby, half-sprawled across Luffy’s lap and half-tumbling into Zoro’s arm, eyes blown wide and greasy pink hair a mess over his forehead. The crumbs of potato chips are stark against Luffy’s beard, which resembles more like a bird’s nest than hair. Luffy’s eyes are surprisingly clear and stern as he glares down at Coby, Zoro’s green hair – or it could be his hat – peeking in the corner of the photo.

“Hmm,” Luffy nods his head. “This is great. Merry Christmas! You can enter!” He taps Sanji on the arm.

Another set of feet echo from above. Sanji grabs the camera and hides it behind his back, while Luffy straightens his spine and begins running his fingers over his beard again, only for them to get stuck midway through. 

A pair of black slippers descend down the steps.

 _“Who has the black slippers again?”_ Nami asks. _“I can’t imagine who’s going to be the next unfortunate victim to this… trio.”_

 _“I don’t remember,”_ Vivi says. _“But after that interaction – I think that Coby himself might have lost some interest in Sanji,”_ she chuckles.

The black slippers are followed by a set of orange-and-blue plaid paint. When the person takes the final step and ducks under the threshold, Luffy yells.

“ _Hohoho_!” he says, tugging at his beard, where a clump of knots has now formed. “Merry Christmas! Have you been a good child?”

Kidd stares at them. And then bursts out laughing. “What the _fuck_ is this?”

“It’s Christmas!” Luffy protests, still trying to yank his fingers from where they are now lodged in his beard. “Sit on my lap!”

“I sure as hell ain’t gonna do that,” Kidd snorts, walking around the coffee table to avoid them. Zoro rises and blocks Kidd just as he’s about to enter the kitchen, green hat flopping behind his green hair.

“Santa hasn’t allowed you to pass yet,” Zoro says, lowering his brows. “Go back.”

“What are you gonna do about it, Peter Pan?” Kidd smirks, side-stepping Zoro. Zoro grabs him by the shoulder, but Kidd pulls back just before his grip can actually take hold. “Fuck off. I just want some breakfast.”

Coby stares at him for a second, and then shovels more porridge into his mouth.

“Food’s mine,” Sanji gets up. “If you wanna eat, you gotta sit.” He inclines his head in Luffy’s direction.

“Are you fucking serious?” Kidd says. “Coby, did you actually do this?” Coby pops his head back up, only to lower his chin to his chest and look away, ears flushing red. Kidd rolls his eyes. “That _idiot_.” 

“Do we look like we’re not serious?” Zoro asks, raising his brow a hair. “One more step, and I’ll toss the pot of porridge over.”

“If you toss the pot of porridge, I’ll throw your shitty head onto the stove,” Sanji growls. “Kidd. Just get your ass over here. It won’t take long.”

“Why the hell are _you_ playing along?” Kidd asks. 

“I don’t even know anymore,” Sanji heaves a sigh so heavy, it could rattle the ground. “Just… come here. Please. I’ll cook whatever you want tomorrow.”

Kidd stares at Zoro, then Sanji, and then Luffy, who’s somehow choking himself on his beard. “Your Santa is dying,” he supplies helpfully.

“Best to let him die,” Sanji says. “Come on.”

“Fine,” Kidd storms over, shoving Zoro away as he does. “It’s only because I’m not that much an asshole to eat your food without your permission, and I am fucking starving.”

“You could order take-in,” Zoro suggests, returning to his seat.

“On this cursed day?” Kidd scowls. “I’d rather not.”

“Sit on my lap,” Luffy’s voice is strained, both hands now caught in the web of silver hair. “And tell me – what you – have done –”

“Goddamn it Luffy, just remove the freaking beard,” Sanji makes to yank the beard off from Luffy’s chin, but Luffy pulls away.

“No! I am – Santa!”

“How about I help you out of this,” Kidd jerks his head at the white nest of hair strangling at Luffy’s throat, “and I don’t have to sit on your stupid lap?”

“N –” Luffy begins.

“Deal,” Sanji says.

“Sure,” Zoro scrunches his nose as he stares at Luffy’s beard, now trailing under Luffy’s arms. “Think that _thing_ might grow, otherwise.”

It takes a few long minutes of pulling, tugging, and cutting, but Luffy’s hands are finally released. His beard is significantly shorter, but no longer clutching around the back of Luffy’s arms and curling around his throat. Kidd tosses the hair into the bin, and then heads to the kitchen.

“Merry Christmas!” Luffy beams, waving his arms around, while Sanji hides the camera behind his back. “I’m free! I’m finally free! Merry Christmas to everyone!”

“Do whatever the fuck you want,” Kidd says, ladling a bowl of porridge for himself and settling at one end of the dinner table.

“Two down,” Luffy grins. “Two to go!”

 _“Two who will never ever show any interest in Luffy, down,”_ Nami nods her head. _“And two who will soon come to the same conclusion.”_

 _“Zoro and Sanji are not winning themselves any favours with this,”_ Tashigi shakes her head.

 _“Perhaps they are simply interested in Luffy?”_ Robin suggests, lips curving up as everyone spins to look at her.

 _“I can’t even imagine that,”_ Vivi answers. 

Another set of footsteps. Kidd leans back in his seat, grinning. Luffy perks up. Sanji sighs. Zoro stares blankly at the stairs.

Wyper emerges, hair slightly damp from the shower as he pads down the stairs. His brows raise at the sight of the three of them all crammed into a sofa seat in their various outfits, and he almost turns to leave.

“Wait!” Luffy yells. “You have to pass us first!”

“How about… no,” Wyper answers. 

“Come on! We’ve already swam in the winter sea together once! We are buddies now, aren’t we?”

“No we aren’t,” Wyper tosses Luffy a cursory glance. “I don’t know what you are up to now but I don’t like it.”

“Are you scared?” Zoro teases, leaning back and crossing his arms over his chest. “Food is here,” he nods his chin in the direction of the kitchen, “and you ain’t getting any if you don’t come over.”

“I can go out and grab something,” Wyper answers.

“It’s Christmas,” Sanji pipes up. “Sure you wanna do that?”

Luffy leans forward and gazes up at Wyper, eyes wide. “Come _on_ Wyper, everyone has done it already!”

Zoro stands up. “No —” Wyper side-steps Zoro’s outstretched hand, only for Luffy to stick his leg out at the last minute. He fumbles, nearly tripping, but then catches himself on the armrest of the sofa. 

And then Luffy grins, large and sudden, before yanking the arm that he has leaned his weight on and pulling it over. 

Wyper lands, chest-first, into Luffy’s skinny knees.

“ _Ow_ ” the wind gets knocked right out of him. “What the _hell_?”

“Loser,” Zoro says, smirking. He pats Wyper on the head. “Shoulda just come when we asked you to.”

“I’m not a _dog_ ready to be called —” 

“Yosh! Good boy,” Luffy pats Wyper on the head as well. “You may enter! Merry Christmas!”

Sanji snaps a photo just as Wyper pushes their hands off and quickly rises to his feet. He growls at the sight of Kidd cackling by the dinner table. 

“Can’t believe you actually _did_ it,” Kidd makes to pat Wyper on the back, only for Wyper to dodge it at the last second.

“Did you not?”

“Like hell I’ll do something as lame as that,” Kidd answers.

At that moment, the front door creaks open. Everyone swivels their head in the direction of the set of stairs leading downstairs.

“Law,” Kidd’s gaze grows sharp.

The door shuts, before being followed by the soft rustle of shoes being taken off. Footsteps make their way up.

A head pops up. Law’s hair is tousled, beanie clutched in one hand, Sanji’s blue scarf wrapped around his neck. He glances at the people sitting on the sofa, then trails his gaze to the victims seated at the dining table.

“Hohoho,” Luffy begins to say.

Law turns to head back downstairs.

“Wait!” Luffy protests, but he doesn’t hesitate. He’s already halfway down the first step when Sanji speaks up.

“Law!” Law turns, only for Sanji’s shoulders to slump. “Actually, you know what — yeah, you should leave.”

“Sanji!” Luffy yells.

“But if you do,” Sanji adds. “We are the ones who’ll have to face Luffy’s complaints forever.” At that, Zoro nods severely. By the table, Coby looks up and gives a tight smile. Kidd smirks and leans back in his seat, while Wyper merely lets out a long exhale. “Just… come over here.”

“Yeah, go over and have a seat!” Kidd whoops. “Go over! Go over!” he begins to chant.

Luffy joins in, clapping his hands wildly. “Go over! Go over!”

Kidd jostles Coby, who begins to chime in. “Go over! Go over!” 

The cheers echo in the apartment, ringing and reverberating in the walls. A muscle in Law’s jaw begins to jump. His brows draw together, tighter than ever. His fingers twitch.

“Law,” Sanji says, shaking his head even with a smile over his lips. “Do it for us.” 

_“Do it for me,”_ Nami teases, giggling.

When Law heaves a sigh, the cheering abruptly comes to a stop. Everyone looks over at him expectantly. “Fine.” he finally says. _Fine_ , I’ll do it. Just stop this… nonsense.” He gestures around. _“Please.”_

“Yay!” Luffy jumps a little in his seat, then pats his lap. “Hohoho! Sit here!”

Law drags his feet across the floor, throwing Sanji a glare as he passes. Sanji smiles wider, shrugging slightly at Law’s glower, while Luffy beams up at the older man. Rubbing his fingers against his temple, Law finally reaches Luffy’s side.

He sighs again before slowly sitting himself onto Luffy’s lap, holding most of his weight onto himself. “So, have you been a good child?” Luffy asks.

“I am not happy with this,” Law answers instead.

“Hohoho! I think you have been a wonderful kid this year! Merry Christmas!” he makes to pat Law’s back, but Law rises and steps away before he can. Sanji whips out his camera, just as Luffy grabs a bunch of candies and throws it in Law’s face.

“Perfect,” Sanji grins. Law glares at him again, lowering his hand that had lifted to ward off the bombarding bullets of sweets, and then turns to glare at the table of guffawing roommates.

“I hate all of you,” he says, turning away from the kitchen to go upstairs. 

They all burst out in collective laughter at his misfortune.

“Alright,” Kidd slams his hands onto the dinner table once night has come around. The TV in the second-storey living room is still stuck on their Mario Kart menu screen; controllers have been abandoned on the couches and in the dip of the bean bag chairs, half-eaten chips packets and empty candy wrappers strewn around the coffee table. Coby stops at Kidd’s statement, spoon hanging in the air, while Luffy continues to shovel mashed potatoes into his mouth. “Embarrassing Christmas stories. Go.” He jerks his head at Zoro.

“Being forced into a Peter Pan outfit and demanding for grown men to sit in another grown man’s lap,” Zoro states blandly, staring at Luffy.

“Someone _else_ made you do that?” Luffy gasps. “And you did it… _twice?_ ”

Coby chuckles, though his laughter trails away when Zoro glares at him. Kidd rolls his eyes. “Not from today. From before.”

“Fine,” Zoro answers, taking a huge bite of turkey as he does. Cheeks full, he slows his chewing to contemplate. “Eight,” he decides, swallowing the turkey as he does. “Challenged a friend to a duel, got knocked right on my ass. Had to go to her father’s after for Christmas dinner,” he says. “She teased me all through the meal. Couldn’t even have my pie in peace.”

“A girl, huh?” Sanji comments from the other end of the table as he pushes Luffy’s fork away from his untouched potatoes. “Didn’t think you had it in you to make friends — much less female friends.”

“Shut up, at least I’m not a prissy idiot who fusses about with his hair more than anyone I’ve ever seen,” Zoro shoots back. Sanji’s brows rise.

“What did you say —” 

“Nah,” Luffy laughs. “You haven’t seen Jaggy in front of the mirror yet. He takes _forever_ ,” Luffy whips out his phone. “I took a video of it, wanna see?”

“Give that to me!” Kidd practically jumps off his seat to reach for Luffy’s phone, but Luffy snakes out of reach just in time. “Oi!” 

“Nope,” Luffy grins, swiping his thumb across the screen as he searches for the video.

“If you do, I’ll give you the rest of my turkey!” Kidd says. 

Luffy freezes. He raises his head from his phone screen. “ _All_ of your turkey?” he clarifies, gaze dropping to Kidd’s half-full plate.

“Every last one,” Kidd promises.

“Okay then!” Luffy grins. Kidd heaves a sigh of relief, then drops to his seat, while Luffy rushes to his side to collect his earnings.

“It is true,” Coby whispers to Sanji. “That hair does not come easy,” he indicates Kidd’s hair, sitting proudly on the top of his head.

“How ‘bout you,” Zoro gestures to Kidd, who’s trying to yank his plate back from Luffy.

“I said turkey, not everything else!” Kidd shoves at Luffy’s chest. “Go away!”

“Hmph. Fine,” Luffy slinks back to his seat, eyeing Kidd’s food balefully. “You said every last thing,” he complains under his breath.

“Me?” Kidd looks to Zoro. He leans back onto his chair and plays with his cherry tomatoes using his fork. “Well. Ha, yeah, thought of one. Killer and I were eleven, maybe twelve,” he nods at Coby at the mention of Killer, “and we wanted to impress some people at school. Took some engine oil. I tried to use it to gel my hair up; he tried to use it to make his hair long and slick. We looked pretty great for kids, but that day, it was someone’s birthday at school — some gal. Long story short, I stood too near the candle, my hair caught on fire, Killer’s got caught when he tried to help me — the police, firefighters, _and_ paramedics all came to the school on Christmas afternoon, and we made the front page of the newspaper.” Kidd shrugs. 

“How is that embarrassing?” Luffy complains.

“Lost most of my hair,” Kidd answers. “My hair was grazed nearly to the end. Scalp was kinda red. Festive colours, but not in the best way,” he smirks. “Fun, though.”

“If Zoro’s hair caught on fire,” Luffy begins, already laughing. “It’d be like burning grass! Green and red — like Christmas!”

“Are you suggesting we burn Zoro’s hair?” Law pipes up from across Zoro. A smile inches up his lips. 

Luffy’s eyes bulge. “Should we? I have a —”

“And you?” Zoro shoots Law a glare. “Embarrassing Christmas story?”

“I don’t really celebrate Christmas,” Law answers. “Embarrassing could be when my father had set himself on fire in the hospital and had to be rushed to the emergency room,” he shrugs. “He does that a lot.”

“Set himself on fire?” Sanji echoes.

“Is rushed into the emergency room?” Zoro raises a brow.

“Both,” Law says, and doesn’t clarify.

“Okay…” Sanji says. “Well. When I was younger, Christmas was always embarrassing. The shitty old geezer loves taking a shot at me. _‘Eggplant’s too short to put the star on top of the Christmas tree’_ , _‘Eggplant burnt the turkey!’_ , _‘Eggplant’s rats have come to the party again!’_ ,” Sanji imitates, scrunching his brows and jabbing his finger in the air. “Fucking old geezer. He’d do this when I invited friends over, and then laughed when they left. Said they weren’t worth it, if they couldn’t take me at my worst.”

“Sounds like your old geezer has things figured out,” Zoro smirks.

“Sounds like he just wants to pummel some _childhood trauma_ into an eleven-year-old,” Sanji growls. “But whatever. I appreciate him. Wouldn’t be anywhere close to how I am today without him.”

“That’s nice,” Coby smiles. “I have… many embarrassing moments. I was a very nervous child; couldn’t really speak properly to most people without stumbling or making some very weird sounds. Once, I was playing hide and seek with some kids from my block. I had hidden in a barrel, and… no one found me. Not even till daylight. But I didn’t dare to leave because I didn’t want to embarrass them — didn’t want them to feel bad about forgetting me. It is only until the next morning that someone opened up the barrel and saw me hiding there,” Coby presses his chin into his chest, fingers toying with the handle of his spoon. “I had peed myself through the night.”

“That’s awful,” Sanji comments.

“Those are bad friends,” Luffy proclaims. He glances up from his food. “Are you still friends with them?”

“I — no. I had moved.” Coby answers.

“Good,” Luffy says. “Friends won’t abandon you in the middle of a game. You don’t need them — you have us now!” And he beams, chewed-up meat and carbohydrates and sauces peeking out from behind his teeth.

 _“Ew,_ ” Nami scrunches her nose. _“Love the sentiment, hate the view.”_

 _“He really ought to put that away,”_ Robin agrees, while Hancock gives a derisive snort.

 _“Boys,”_ she says.

“Give me their names,” Kidd states. His eyes are sharp when he looks over at Coby. “Let’s see how well they are doing now.”

“I — what are you suggesting —” 

“We could hide them in a barrel of our own,” Law responds calmly, fingers drumming on the tabletop. “Drift them out to sea.”

“Not the sea,” Wyper finally speaks up. “Throw them into a ring. See what’s left of them after that.”

“Guys —” Coby raises both hands.

“And I’ll film it!” Luffy smacks his hands together. “Catch their confessions on camera!”

 _“Are they…”_ Vivi pauses. _“Planning to commit a crime together? Are we allowed to even show this?”_

 _“It is fine,”_ Reiju assures. _“As long as no one find the bodies.”_

 _“R-Reiju!”_ Tashigi protests. 

_“No one will find the bodies,”_ Robin promises.

“Um… uh… hey, shall we finish our game?” Coby hastily switches the topic, eyes darting from one person to the next. “We have um… cake, yes? We still have cake to eat!”

“Cake!” Luffy leaps from his seat. “Let’s have cake!”

 _“Phew,”_ Vivi and Tashigi share sighs of relief. 

Once they have cleared up the dinner table, they make their way to the living room. Sanji pokes his head out from the kitchen, “Drinks?” he suggests.

“Sounds great,” Kidd says. “We got beer?”

“Beer, wines, champagnes… the likes,” Sanji answers. “The rest?”

“I’m in,” Zoro says, nodding at Kidd. “Beers for us.”

“Red wine for me,” Law answers. 

“Could do with a beer,” Wyper says.

“Coby? Luffy?” Sanji asks.

“Um…” Coby looks around. “I could have a cider?”

“I’m not allowed alcohol,” Luffy pushes his lower lip out. “Sabo says it makes me too crazy, and I am already too energetic as it is.”

Sanji blinks. He shrugs, “Sounds about right.” Sanji sets the drinks on the coffee table, pushing the food wrappers into a recyclable trash bag as he does. Once he’s put aside the trash, he settles onto the floor by the beanbag. 

“Let’s play a game!” Luffy announces. When Coby and Kidd reach out for their controllers, he shakes his head. “No, not Mario Kart! We should play like… um… truth or dare!”

“Truth or dare?” Sanji repeats.

“Yeah! But like, couples-version! Ace said it could be fun!” Luffy grins. 

“How is that going to work?” Kidd asks. “We have seven people.”

“Um… hm…” Luffy rubs at the bottom of his chin. “Alright, I know! We’ll switch partners at every turn! So for each round, we will have different pairings!”

“And how will we pick each pairing?” Law leans against the leg of the sofa. 

“Uh.... um…” Luffy squeezes his brows so tightly together, they might come into a knot. “I got it!” He lifts his head up. “Sit in a circle!”

“Are we at a school camp?” Kidd grouses, but moves to sit in a circle anyway. The seating goes like this: Kidd, Law, Coby, Zoro, Luffy, Wyper, and Sanji. “Now what?”

“Okay so… we close our eyes,” Luffy snaps his eyelids shut, “Stick one hand out into the middle,” he stretches his right arm out, “and if you and someone hold each other’s hands, then you are a pair!” He opens his eyes again. “Sounds good?”

“Sounds fucking dumb,” Kidd states. 

“Well, we could do something else if you have a better idea!” Luffy protests.

Zoro picks up his mug and takes a huge gulp of beer. He slams the mug back onto the table. “Yeah, we could do it.”

“Yay! Alright, so let’s close our eyes!” Luffy shuts both eyes. When no one responds, he lifts one eyelid. “Come on guys! Let’s do it!”

Zoro shuts his eyes and sticks a hand out. Slowly, everyone gives in, and Luffy grins. He shuts both eyes. 

“Alright, now… pick your partners!” 

It is a flurry of hands as everyone attempts to grab onto someone. One hand wraps around another’s wrist, only to find another set of fingers curling around their arm. After some shifting and moving, the pairs are out.

Luffy cocks an eyelid open. “Ooh!” He glances across at the person whose wrist he has wrapped his fingers around. “Torao!” Torao lets out a long sigh.

Wyper’s gaze flickers from the pale arm in front of him, to the face seated beside him. “I guess we’re a pair for now,” he says.

“Guess so,” Sanji nods.

Coby blinks. “Um… hi?” 

Zoro smiles. “Yeah,” he glances to Kidd on the other side. “Guess you’re alone then.”

“Fine by me,” Kidd crosses his arms behind his head and leans back. “Glad to watch the show.”

“No! You should choose a question to ask!” Luffy says. “A truth or dare question!”

“Ugh,” Kidd curls his lips. He pauses, and then a smile slowly rises to his lips. “Actually, sure. I could do that.”

“Go for it,” Zoro grins.

“Shall we sit next to our partners?” Coby asks. Luffy’s mouth falls.

“Oh right! Yeah — yeah, we should!” 

“That is needlessly troublesome —” Law begins, but Luffy has already thrown himself to his side. Sanji and Wyper, and Zoro and Coby, are already seated beside one another, so they remain in their positions. 

“Alright,” Kidd takes a swig of beer. “I’m too lazy to think of multiple questions, everyone has the same questions for truth and dare,” he declares. He looks at Wyper and Sanji first. “Would you hit on each other if you met each other at a bar on a Christmas night?”

“A bar?” Sanji repeats. “On a Christmas night? That must be lonely.”

“Precisely,” Kidd’s smirk grows.

“Well,” Sanji presses his lips together, glancing at Wyper. Wyper stares back, hair loose from his ponytail, tattoos peeking from the loose collar of his sweater, dark hand stark against Sanji’s fair skin. Wyper’s eyes are sharp, mouth firm and slightly downturned. “It depends,” Sanji decides. “Maybe once he’s had a couple drinks and loosened up. Otherwise, he might be a little too intimidating — and if I’m looking for people on Christmas, I’ll be looking to _not_ get rejected.”

“Fair enough,” Wyper concedes. He considers Sanji for a moment. “If I don’t catch you smoking, I’d do it.”

“Y’all?” Kidd nods at Zoro and Coby. Coby wraps his fingers together.

“I don’t visit bars,” he admits. “I can’t really imagine it happening. And Zoro is… well,” he glances at Zoro for a moment, before shifting his gaze back to his hands. “I don’t think I could. Not because of him — but because I’m just not the type to hit on people at bars.”

“I wouldn’t,” Zoro shrugs. When Coby squeezes his fingers tighter together, he adds, “He’d be too uncomfortable at a bar. I won’t hit on anyone who’s not happy to be there.”

“Y’all have too many excuses,” Kidd rolls his eyes. “Law? You?”

“No,” Law’s voice is crisp and clean. “I won’t be interested in Luffy.”

“That’s more like it,” Kidd grins.

“Hey!” Luffy protests. “But well… hm… I don’t know. Law looks cool, you know? And he has all these cool tattoos! I’ll talk to him; he seems interesting!”

“Not surprised,” Sanji comments. “You’ll probably talk to all of us.”

“I will!” Luffy agrees. “Alright, now…. change of partners?” 

They return to their circle and pick their partners again. This time, Wyper is left without a partner. Kidd is matched with Luffy; Sanji with Coby; and Law with Zoro.

 _“Sanji and Coby!”_ Vivi hisses.

 _“Don’t you support Sanji and Law?”_ Nami asks.

_“I support the drama!”_

_“I wonder if Wyper would ask a good question,”_ Robin comments. _“I highly doubt he knows about Sanji and Coby.”_

“I’m going to look online for a question,” Wyper states, taking a sip of beer as he takes out his phone. “Alright,” Wyper’s thumb pauses on his screen. He glances up at the couples. “What is your partner’s best trait to you?”

Kidd blinks at Luffy. “The fuck? He doesn’t have any.”

“I have a ton of good traits!” Luffy complains. “Just choose one!”

“You’re noisy, loud, full of stupid ideas…” Kidd begins listing. 

“Kidd has cool hair,” Luffy says. “That’s his best trait!”

“That’s not even a personality trait!” Kidd counters, but Luffy merely sticks his tongue out.

“You won’t even say one of mine!”

“If you refuse to answer, I’ll have to give you a dare,” Wyper says. 

“Give it!” Luffy and Kidd chime at the same time.

“Well…” Wyper glances between the both of them. He smirks. “Kiss one part of your partner’s face — other than the lips.”

Sanji’s brow shoots straight up. Zoro throws his head back and laughs. Coby blinks, jaw going slack. Law tilts his head and grins.

 _“Oh my,”_ Robin comments. 

_“A pair we never thought would happen,”_ Nami agrees. _“Also, who knew Wyper had it in him?”_

“Fine,” Kidd shrugs. He leans in, head hovering above Luffy’s, lips dark and red and sharp. Luffy looks up at him, knot caught between his brows, lips pushed into a pout. 

Kidd moves closer, eyes fixed on Luffy’s. He smiles, then tips his chin down and presses his lips to Luffy’s forehead for a split second, before moving away.

Coby shifts his gaze down, toes fidgeting. “Enough?” Kidd asks. Wyper waves his hand in the air.

“Yeah, yeah. Luffy, your turn.”

Luffy straightens up and brings his face close to Kidd’s too… before stretching his neck out and planting a kiss onto Kidd’s hair.

Silence ensues for a moment. And then Zoro laughs.

“What the hell is that?”

“That’s part of his head too!” Luffy says. “I like his hair! So I kissed his hair! What’s wrong with that?”

Wyper shakes his head, a chuckle escaping from his lips. “Yeah, fine. That works. Next,” he nods at Zoro and Law.

“You wanna kiss instead?” Zoro suggests. Law raises his brow.

“Sure.”

“Wasn’t this supposed to be a punishment?” Luffy asks, when Zoro leans over to swipe a quick kiss across Law’s temple and Law returns the very same. They pull away from one another slowly.

“Alright, fine,” Wyper says. “Next.” 

Law picks up his wine glass and tips it to his lips. He glances over to Sanji, a small smile playing on his lips. 

Sanji looks away. “Well,” he says to Coby. “I like your quiet determination. Knowing exactly what you want and putting all your energy into chasing after it; holding yourself responsible for your own resolve and no one else. I think that is very admirable.”

A blush rises from the back of Coby’s neck to the tips of his ears. He digs his chin into his turtleneck, smile spilling over his face. “I’ve… I’ve never had anyone say something like that to me before. Thank… thank you so much, Sanji.”

“It’s the truth,” Sanji shrugs, picking up his glass of white wine. 

“I… um,” Coby, somehow, tugs his chin even closer to his neck. “Sanji, I like how kind you are. You have a really big heart that accommodates so much, and I don’t think you know how much people appreciate that.” 

“I — uh,” Sanji averts his gaze. “Thanks, Coby.” He takes a quick sip of wine.

“This was supposed to be a nice, wholesome question,” Wyper states. “Like how theirs were. And all of you just wanted to get it done and over with.” He shakes his head. 

“Leave the mushy bits to the cook,” Zoro comments. Instantly, Sanji whips his head over to Zoro.

“What did you _say_ —”

“Well, if my partner were Sanji, I would have had a fair bit to say as well,” Law chimes in. Sanji freezes, his insult to Zoro only half-out of his mouth. 

He blinks at Law, while Law merely leaves the smile hanging on his lips. Coby looks up at Sanji, biting his lower lip.

 _“This love triangle never ends,”_ Nami says. _“Honestly. Sanji should just go on a date with Coby and feel what it’s like.”_

 _“Can you imagine someone saying that to you, though?”_ Vivi sighs. _“I mean… it is really flattering.”_

 _“Yes,”_ Reiju agrees. _“And Sanji does seem like one who’d be taken by compliments.”_

“What, you saying there’s nothing good about me?” Zoro breaks the silence, stretching his legs out in front of him. 

“You do _kendo_ ,” Law obliges, inclining his head towards Zoro. “Good taste is a trait that can never be mastered by someone who doesn’t have it.”

“Yeah, I agree,” Zoro says. “Is it time to shift around?”

This time, it is Wyper with Coby, Sanji with Luffy, and Kidd with Zoro. Law takes a step back and pours himself more wine.

He sips at his wine as he takes in the rest of them, seated in their pairs. “If you were to break up with your partner,” he begins, “what would it be over and how would you do it?”

 _“Interesting…”_ Robin muses.

 _“How is that interesting? He is bringing up a break-up even before them even getting together!”_ Nami answers.

 _“Well, this would require quite a thorough read on the partner as well as their interactions and compatibility,”_ Robin explains. _“It would also say a great deal about how they regard their partner thus far, and their method of breaking up would deliver insight into who they are as a person.”_

 _“I guess… it’d also get them to think deeper about potential relationships,”_ Vivi considers. _“Right now, living together, it’s all fun and games — but real life doesn’t work that way. If they are seriously thinking about pursuing a relationship after this, they’d need to think about if they would work outside of such circumstances. I guess… Law really has thought things through.”_

 _“I never thought of it that way…”_ Tashigi purses her lips. _“That makes sense… but wouldn’t they require a long time to think about this?”_

Law nurses his wine as the rest of them begin to contemplate, staring at one another and frowning or muttering under their breaths (or, for Luffy, thinking out loud). 

“I think,” Wyper begins first. Law cocks a brow, while the rest turn to face him. “For us, it would be our careers. I am an environmentalist — Coby is training to be a cop. Working to protect the environment sometimes has its illegal aspects,” Wyper glances at Coby. “Cops are not working merely to protect the people, but big corporations; the rich. Capitalism. And that is exactly what I am fighting against. So if I am an activist and if he were a cop, it wouldn’t work out. We’re on opposite sides — literally.”

“I won’t — I don’t want to be that type of cop!” Coby answers. It’s the loudest he’s ever spoken, and his eyes are wide as he faces Wyper. “I… I know what you mean. Law enforcers sometimes… enforce the law, not because of what is right or what is just, but to maintain the hierarchy of power. It is an institution, and institutions get corrupted. But… I care about the world, and the environment too. And I don’t want to just let the crooks off just because they have some money!”

“You don’t want to do it,” Wyper says, “but that doesn’t mean you won’t. I have a friend in law enforcement — Gan Fall — and he’s been saying, for years now, that he’s on our side. That he’s fighting to stop large corporations from dumping waste into reservoirs and then stuffing the people-in-charge with money so they can blame local communities for it. But the fact is that our society is run by money, by capitalism, and when you are working in an institution you have to first play by their rules. And you might never get a chance to introduce your own.”

“Gan Fall…” Coby repeats. “That’s — he’s one of my mentors.”

“Precisely,” Wyper states. “It’s nothing on you personally. I can tell you are a good person, and your heart is in the right place. But this issue is bigger than us. And ever since cops have turned around and bitten us in the ass, I vowed to never place my faith in them again. Even if they were good people — _especially_ if they wanted to be on my side. It just never works out.”

“I…” Coby drops his head. “I don’t know what to say. I… I just don’t want to be that sort of person. I’m sorry. I didn’t know — the police —” 

“It’s fine,” Wyper shakes his head. “I’ve learnt to hate the institution, but not the people.” He offers a smile. “I guess I would break it off the way I just did. By coming out and saying it, rather than hiding it behind excuses. If you were someone I chose to be with, I am certain you are someone who can listen to logic and understand when something needs to be broken off.”

“I… thank you,” Coby pauses. “I guess… yeah, likewise. If we were to break up, it’d be because we have this large hurdle to cross that might be impossible for us to do so. And I’d choose to do it face-to-face as well.” He nods at Law. “Yes.”

“It is a valid issue,” Law comments, but doesn’t elaborate.

“Hm…” Luffy frowns. “I don’t know why I’d break up with Sanji! He cooks great food, and he always feeds me when I ask him to!”

“Maybe you’d break up when he decides to stop feeding you?” Wyper suggests, but Luffy shakes his head.

“Nah! Sanji’s a great guy outside of that. And he won’t ever stop feeding me — he loves cooking too much, and even more than that, he loves watching people enjoy his food! And I enjoy his food the most!”

“I guess…” Sanji tries, “I’ll never actually know until I’ve tried it. But with Luffy… I see him as a younger brother now, and maybe after everything I’d still see him as a little brother. I’ll love to feed him still; but sometimes people aren’t meant to be in relationships. And that’s okay.”

“Aw! You’ll give me all the meat?” 

“Yeah,” Sanji laughs. “Yeah, guess the break-up would be through a meat buffet.”

“A meat buffet!” Luffy cheers. “Let’s break up now! So I can eat all the meat!”

“We aren’t even together,” Sanji points out.

“Alright, so let’s get together and then break up!”

“I think for Sanji it’d be more along the lines that he couldn’t compete with meat for Luffy’s attention,” Kidd snickers.

“Well,” Luffy pipes up. “Yeah. Like Sanji said, I’ll probably break up with him if we just didn’t fit together like that! And um… I’ll… give him some food, maybe? To make up for all the times he’s made me food? Or uh… oh! We could go on an adventure together! One last big adventure! That’ll be fun!”

“Hm,” Kidd stares at Zoro, and Zoro stares back. “I dunno. If he was a shit sparring partner, maybe. Or I guess I could see us falling apart because we’re a little too similar. Too stubborn, too prone to violence. Not talky-feely enough.” He shrugs. “I’ve had people use that as a reason for breaking up, so if there’s two of us then well, it’d either work out great, or our relative inexpressiveness might cause us to break up.”

“But… you do woodworking!” Coby says. “That’s a form of expression.”

Kidd snorts. “Yeah,” he says. “Instead of a ‘sorry’, I’ll throw a handcrafted eagle into your hand. Instead of saying how I feel, I’ll carve out an elephant and toss it at you.” He smirks, a little. “If that works — great. If it doesn’t, then all that wood is going to be burnt.” At Coby’s expression, he clarifies, “It’s happened before.”

“I don’t mind unexpressive,” Zoro shrugs. “Though yeah, we could be too similar. Being with you might feel just like being with a friend who has common interests — or being with myself. Which isn’t a bad thing, but probably not for a partner.”

“For the last round,” Coby suggests. “Could we perhaps… um… switch it up a little?”

“Yeah?” Kidd raises a brow.

“Whoever we get next… we’ll have to go on our next date with.” He looks up. “And the last remaining person… could go with the newcomer when the newcomer arrives?”

Luffy beams. “That sounds great! Let’s do it!” 

“T-Thanks,” Coby bites on his lower lip. “Just thought we should have the chance to get to know each other better.”

The rest chime their agreement, and once again they pile their hands into the middle of the circle. 

Coby glances up, gaze trailing from the wide, tanned hand up to a tattooed arm. Wyper stares back at him, and he chuckles. “Guess we are gonna try this out eventually, huh?”

Law stares blandly back into the face that beams up at him. “Are you kidding me?” he says, lifting his other hand to his temple.

“It’s us! Again!” Luffy cackles. “We’re going to have so much fun!”

“No,” Sanji says.

“ _Way,”_ Zoro continues. 

They glance down at their interlinking hands, and then pull away. “Damn it,” Sanji curses. “Of all people, I’m stuck with marimo-Peter Pan?”

“Don’t take an hour to prepare,” Zoro warns. “I ain’t gonna wait.”

“Guess that’s me and the newcomer,” Kidd grins. “Can’t wait to see how they’re like.”

“Hey! It’s midnight!” Luffy grabs his phone. “Let’s send our messages!”

“Together? While we’re all gathered in this room?” Sanji asks.

“Yeah! But we won’t look at it until later! Come on, let’s do it!” Luffy’s already typing a message out. Sanji sighs, then brings his phone to his face.

INT - TV STUDIO

“Wait, that is it?” Nami peers at the screen. “We’re supposed to guess their love lines… from _this_?”

“We have had quite a fair bit of information,” Robin says.

“Yeah, but not enough! There’s nothing… much there, aside from Law’s very blatant interest in Sanji, as usual.”

“Would they message based on interest, or based on their future date?” Vivi ponders. “Luffy’s already typing — I can foresee him sending a message to Law immediately.”

Nami sighs. “Fine. Let’s do this properly. So… a friendship trio has been established.”

“Luffy, Zoro, and Sanji,” Vivi chuckles. “They were adorable! Zoro and Luffy changing right in the garage without regard for anything or anyone; Sanji being… a lot more decent.”

“That outfit,” Reiju shakes her head. “I wonder who Bon is. He seems like such a character.”

“They really did torment Coby, didn’t they?” Vivi continues. “He’s the only one who got that proper ‘Santa’ treatment. I’m amazed Kidd was flexible enough to talk his way out of it and _Wyper_ couldn’t.”

“Well, Wyper got forced by both his dates,” Nami shrugs, “So I’m going to go out on a limb here and say he’s not going to message neither Luffy nor Zoro.”

“He wouldn’t message Luffy,” Vivi agrees. “But why not Zoro? They’ve had a bit of banter in the morning — it was cute.”

“Wyper is difficult,” Hancock dismisses. “Law is to Sanji. Logically, we should take a look at Sanji next.”

“That question that Law had posed!” Vivi furrows her brows. “Doesn’t that mean he’s given this a lot of thought — and that he had decided on Sanji early on because he’s thought it through and realised they’d be a good match, even after all of this is over? Perhaps that’s why he’s been so fixated on Sanji all along?”

“There is nothing wrong with logic,” Robin answers. “But I do think emotions — or at least immediate impression — had a role to play as well. Law, as seen from the first episode, was evidently attracted to Sanji from the very beginning. He then decided, upon matching their personalities and jobs and habits, that they were a good match. In the long-run, it isn’t a bad play to have.”

“And that makes things easy for us,” Nami grins. “Law would pick Sanji. Sanji, on the other hand… I can see him going a few ways. First it might be back to Law — it is flattering for someone to have consistently expressed interest in him, and Sanji seems like the type of guy who’d reciprocate. Next it would be to Coby — Sanji really seems to admire Coby.”

“Coby _is_ a decent man,” Robin agrees. “Sanji’s appraisal of him was accurate and succinct; something Coby might not have realised for himself.”

“Next it could be Luffy,” Tashigi suggests. “Since they did discuss their potential break-up together. Though it didn’t really amount to much, ultimately. Otherwise, it might be Zoro.”

“They did bond a lot because of Luffy,” Vivi agrees, “though it is more of the competitive sort. And they are heading on a date together next.”

“I don’t think we should look at their future dates,” Reiju answers. “It is in the future — there’s no point in messaging someone you haven’t yet hung out with; and I don’t foresee any of them wasting their messages on another person who they might very well message soon enough.”

“So… back to Sanji,” Nami frowns. “I don’t think it’d be Zoro, either, nor will it be to Luffy. Like he’s said, he seems to treat Luffy more as a younger brother. There’s nothing so far that’d suggest otherwise. Once again, it’s back to Law or Coby. My vote’s on Coby.”

“Why?” Tashigi probes.

“Coby’s comment regarding his good trait was just so… pure,” Nami wiggles a little in her seat. “Sanji doesn’t seem to know how to take compliments, and from Law he might have assumed it was flirting, or teasing; from Coby’s mouth, it is pretty clear that it’s the full truth. At least, in Sanji’s eyes.”

“I suppose…” Vivi presses her lips together. “Yeah. I do think the two of them probably had a stronger moment with that question, than Law and Sanji had throughout the whole day. Though Sanji pushing Law into participating in their shenanigans was adorable.”

“Are we putting Law to Sanji and Sanji to Coby, then?” Nami confirms. The girls nod, and she links the two pairs together. “How about Coby?”

“Wouldn’t Coby be to Sanji?” Vivi asks.

“Well… actually, everyone has been really kind to him,” Tashigi notes. “Everyone pretty much stood up for him when he spoke about his childhood. Kidd was the first to start it, yes — but Luffy also asked after his well-being and affirmed that those people were not great friends.”

“But Coby has that compliment from Sanji too,” Nami replies. “From what we’ve seen so far, Coby tends to respond to people who have… touched him, personally. He messaged Kidd early on, when Kidd had complimented him; I think now he’d likely message Sanji too.”

“How about Wyper?” Vivi suggests. “They had a rather… serious discussion about their careers.”

“That doesn’t necessarily mean he’d grow to be interested in Wyper,” Reiju answers. “It was based on hypotheticals — it doesn’t seem like Wyper had piqued his interest with that. Rather, it seems to establish that they aren’t meant to be. Even if they have a date coming up.”

“Coby to Sanji it is,” Nami says. “How about Kidd? Kidd interacted with Luffy a whole lot today.”

“Yeah,” Vivi grins. “First with ‘saving Santa Claus’, next with… he actually _did_ kiss Luffy on the forehead, didn’t he?”

“And Luffy kissed him on his hair,” Nami chimes, laughing. “Luffy is hilarious. This group would have been a lot more boring without him.”

“I think that Luffy might message Kidd,” Tashigi leans forward and rests her chin in her palm, “but I’m not too sure about Kidd to Luffy. He was more exasperated by Luffy than anything — I think he might choose to message Coby instead. Coby’s the only person he’s shown interest in so far, anyway.”

“How about Zoro?” Vivi tilts her head. “Well, I guess they determined that they might not fit well with one another — or might fit _too_ well with one another. They didn’t really show much interest in each other aside from that.”

“Kidd to Coby makes sense,” Nami nods. “Robin, Reiju, Hancock — thoughts?”

“I agree,” Robin says, while Reiju nods her head. 

“I’d be surprised if Kidd messages Luffy, especially with the morning’s fiasco,” she says, “but Kidd might have odd tastes. We’ll never know. Otherwise, yes — Kidd to Coby.”

“Kidd would make his interest a lot clearer if he has any,” Hancock says. “He doesn’t show it to Luffy.” She shrugs.

Nami draws an arrow from Kidd to Coby. “Shall we do Luffy then? For Luffy I can see three potentials: to Kidd, to Sanji, or to Law.”

“Luffy’s a bit of a wild horse,” Vivi sighs. “He still hasn’t really shown anything. He’s just… going with his whims, messaging whoever he feels like at that very moment. Judging from that, if he’s going to message the last person he interacted with, then… that’d be Law.”

“Sanji’s interaction with him was significant, though,” Nami answers. “Speaking about food always gets to him.”

“As we’ve mentioned earlier, he did spend a lot of time bantering with Kidd,” Tashigi frowns. “Especially the hair thing, and Kidd slighting him. Food is important, certainly — but… I somehow think it could be Kidd.”

“But he _did_ message Law because of one hotdog bun,” Vivi shrugs. “I mean, so far what’s established with Luffy is the food thing.”

“Sanji hasn’t actually made any food specially for him, though,” Tashigi argues. Nami raises her brow, while Robin smiles. “They were just talking about food.”

“Ooh,” Nami whistles. “Tashigi is voicing her opinions now.”

Tashigi flushes. Vivi purses her lips. “Well, that’s true… though if we talk about recency again, Luffy didn’t interact with Kidd as much as the night went by. Kidd might not be on the top of his mind right now.”

“Shall we put it to a vote?” Nami asks. “For Sanji?” Vivi, Nami, and Reiju raise their hands. “For Kidd?” Tashigi and Robin lift their arms up. Nami frowns. “Hancock, what’s your choice?”

“I am guessing Law,” Hancock shrugs. “Luffy has the memory of a goldfish. He’ll only remember what’s right in front of him. For now, that is Law.”

“Well, based on the majority vote we’re going with Sanji,” Nami says, linking Luffy to Sanji. “Once again, Sanji is a very popular man.”

“He really is. I hope he knows what a catch he is,” Vivi smiles. “We have Zoro and Wyper left.”

“The elusive ones,” Nami shakes a head. “Well, Zoro’s had the most interaction with Luffy and Sanji. He also does seem to be the most comfortable around them.”

“He doesn’t seem to pay much special attention to Kidd, and didn’t seem to interact that much with Wyper — who was his previous date. I guess… he _did_ kiss Law?” Vivi tries. “But well, that was more teasing than anything else. The two of them didn’t interact much aside from that.”

“I’d center his choice more between Sanji and Luffy,” Reiju comments. “He’s been teasing Sanji quite a bit — though so far, there’s nothing particularly romantic about it. Because of their sheer rivalry, I doubt he’d message Sanji.”

“So he’d go for Luffy then?” Nami clarifies.

“Zoro has been reacting mostly to Luffy’s antics,” Robin notes. “He is, at the very least, thoroughly amused by Luffy, and was even willing to play along with Luffy’s Santa Claus bit. It could indicate an interest for Luffy, or minimally it would suggest he has a favourable attitude towards Luffy.”

“But… it’s the friendship trio!” Vivi protests. “I don’t know; I thought they were just cute as friends.”

“They are in a dating reality show,” Hancock points out. “And friends can always lead to something more.”

“I agree,” Nami says. “Zoro would more likely go towards Luffy than Sanji, at any rate… unless the date shakes things up.” Her grin grows wide. “But that’s not our concern here.” She draws the line from Zoro to Luffy. “And now, another hard nut to crack — Wyper.”

“Not Coby,” Vivi says. 

“He’s also not been interacting too much,” Tashigi points out. “He might be a little awkward still…” 

“I’d say Zoro, then,” Nami shrugs. “The only person he seems slightly interested in, at any rate. He did consider Sanji, over Kidd’s initial question — but there’s nothing much there for us to go on.”

“Zoro then,” Vivi agrees, and Nami draws the line from Wyper to Zoro. “I really hope they find someone soon — he and Kidd and Zoro.”

“You forgot Luffy,” Tashigi points out.

“Oh yeah,” Vivi gives a sheepish smile. “I guess he’s just… a bundle of energy; I forget that even though he’s talking to everyone, he isn’t really expressing interest in anyone.”

“Well, it’ll happen if it happens. He said it himself,” Nami says. “That’s the nature of things, anyway. Things might get sped up in a show like this, but you still need a dash of luck for something to actually happen. We’ll watch on and see how it goes!”

INT - GRAND LINE APARTMENT

_“Oh, I thought it was over,”_ Nami says. 

A hand pushes down on the handle, and then a set of feet enter the apartment. A large duffel is slung over one shoulder, and the person glances up as a laugher trickles down from the second storey.

 _“The last person!”_ Vivi screams. 

_“He’ll be paired on a date with Kidd,”_ Tashigi notes.

The person has a head of slightly wavy blond hair, and his back is broad and wide as he heads up the stairs. When he turns into the second-storey living room, all seven sets of eyes turn to look his way.

Luffy stares for a moment, before a grin blossoms on his lips. “Hello! Who are you?”

“Hi,” the man greets, shifting his gaze from one face to the next. He adjusts his spectacles and a casual smile unfurls across his lips. “I’m Marco.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am going to say first that the next dates??? -- they WERE indeed chosen by the randomisers. i know, i was surprised too. there are two of my biggest one piece ships! i have no idea what might happen in those two dates (i believe that some relationships are only possible after a long, extended period of interaction VS something fast and short like what this reality show offers, and so some ships might not be possible in the context of this fanfic, but who knows!)
> 
> also, i spent a long time debating between two characters to choose as the last person to join the show. can you guess who the other character was? what sold me was probably the most recent chapter -- no spoilers, but marco's "yup, that's me!" really got me. my love for him just shot up, i can't even.
> 
> anyway, thank you for reading once again! admittedly, it's not the best I've written so far, but regardless I hope you've enjoyed this chaotic banter-fest!


	7. new doors and old emotions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> look. i don't know how this got to 11k words, but it did. and i'll forewarn you first: the dates do not happen in this chapter. i am also very excited about zosan and lawlu and i also have none of it planned yet but we'll get there. maybe in the next chapter, maybe in the chapter after, who knows?
> 
> i don't think i say this enough, but thank you so much for all your comments! they always make my day and you'll see me cackling over my phone as i pore over them. i'm also glad that y'all are enjoying marco's addition - i've aged him down over here (by a LOT - didn't know he was meant to be 40+), and well... no one has guessed it yet, but the other contender for the last participant in this reality show was... 
> 
> (dun dun dun)
> 
> katakuri. yup, another brightly-haired guy. but i figured they probably needed one more friendlier person than a silent, grumpy person, and so marco fit the bill better and i put marco in instead.
> 
> ANYHOO. enjoy the chapter!

**chapter seven: new doors and old emotions**

INT - GRAND LINE APARTMENT

“Oh, hey,” Kidd nods at the blond, his arm thrown over the sofa cushion behind Zoro. “You’re my date.”

Marco blinks, though the smile remains on his face. “I’m sorry?” he asks. 

“We just played a game,” Kidd clarifies, “for our next dates. You’re one fortunate heck of a man — you got me. I’m Kidd, by the way.” He rises to his feet and glances at the man’s duffel. “You’ll be rooming with us.” He gestures towards Coby and Luffy on the beanbag. 

“We’re the fun club!” Luffy says, spreading his arms out wide. Then, he glances not-so-surreptitiously at Kidd’s way and leans forward, mocking a whisper, “Though if you get up later than Kidd, you’re gonna have to wait over an hour for the washroom. I have a video of it too!” Luffy mimes gelling up his hair, while Kidd yanks the cushion out from behind Zoro’s back and throws it at Luffy’s head.

“Oi!” Zoro protests, while Luffy catches the pillow with his face.

“Ouch!” he shrieks.

“Well,” Marco says. “My hair is not easy to defeat either,” he gestures towards the mop of unruly blond on his head. 

Once Luffy’s managed to emerge from the pillow, he stares at Marco’s hair for a long second. And then he opens his mouth, “It looks like a pineapple,” he comments.

Kidd bursts out laughing, while Coby hides his smile behind his hand. Marco looks at his own reflection in the empty TV screen and cocks a grin.

“You’re not wrong.” At the rest of them piled around the sofa and the coffee table, he asks, “What are y’all doing?”

“We just finished a game — the stupidest game ever, actually,” Sanji answers. “Wanna join us?”

“Sure,” Marco drops his duffel by the wall and plops himself beside Sanji, stretching his arms over his head, shoulders popping as he does. 

“What’s your poison?” Wyper asks, having seated himself next to the counter of beverages and snacks. “We don’t have much beer left — those alcoholics drank most of it.” At that statement, Zoro flashes a lazy smile while Kidd holds up his empty can. “But there’s still some wine, some cider — probably some other liquors in the drawers if you want something harder.”

“Nah,” Marco waves. “I’m beat. Came from another celebration — those people are crazy.”

“I think an introduction is in order,” Law begins.

_ “Ooooooooh,”  _ Nami coos.  _ “Is Law actually leading the conversation?” _

_ “Maybe he has a thing for blondes,” _ Vivi giggles.

“Yeah!” Luffy hops up to his feet, holding himself in a weird sort of squat position. “I’m Luffy! I’m a YouTuber — and I am  _ super _ popular!”

“Luffy… don’t tell me,” Marco lowers his brows. “Do you know Portgas D. Ace?”

“Who the hell is that guy and why does everyone know him?” Zoro comments, while Kidd shrugs beside him.

“Yeah! He’s my brother! Did you also meet him in a MMA tournament?” Luffy tilts his head to one side. “That’s how Wyper knows him too!”

“I heard he had brothers…” Marco stares at Luffy for a moment. “Well. Your brother and I — we used to date.”

“Ooh,” Kidd leans back and props his right ankle on his left thigh.

_ “Ooh,” _ Nami repeats.  _ “This has taken an interesting turn.” _

_ “Imagine if Ace were here instead of Luffy,”  _ Robin smiles.  _ “It would certainly stir the pot… fast.” _

_ “The producers made the wrong choice!”  _ Nami agrees, laughing.  _ “We’d like to return Luffy for his brother!” _

_ “Nami! That’s so mean! I thought you enjoyed Luffy’s hijinks!”  _ Vivi protests.

_ “General hijinks, yes, _ ” Nami smirks.  _ “But I want the romance drama more.” _

“You used to date?  _ Ace? _ ” Luffy repeats, eyes growing wide as saucers. Then he juts his lips out, fingers rubbing at his chin. “Well, Ace dated lots of people back in school. There was Smokey —”

“Smoker?” Marco corrects.

“— this funny guy with even funnier hair called Thatch; this really cool but kinda annoying dude called —”

“That must be weird,” Sanji says, offering a pack of chips to Marco, who shakes his head. “To be in this show with the brother of someone you used to date.”

“Nah, it’s fine. Ace and I are chill — we dated back in our first year of university, but it never got too far. We both agreed we were better off as friends. And Ace should’ve been there at the Christmas party I was at, too, but the other brother — what’s his name again?”

“Sabo?” Luffy’s ears prick up. “Do you know Sabo too?”

“Not really, just heard  _ of _ him. And of you,” Marco shrugs. “Well, Sabo called to say that Ace was dead asleep and so he didn’t make it to the party. Smart call — there are just some things you don’t wanna see at night.”

“How about a barely-adult in a long beard forcing you to sit on his lap early in the morning, with his Peter-Pan bodyguard and a tall blond in a mini-skirt forcing you to abide by his ridiculous rules?” Law deadpans, glancing at Marco. “If you had any sanity left, I think you still have time to run from this apartment.”

Sanji’s ears go pink. “It — it wasn’t a mini-skirt!”

“Really?” Law raises a brow. “I think we all saw far more than we expected to if it weren’t a mini-skirt.”

“Uh… don’t worry, Sanji, it isn’t as bad as Law is making it out to be!” Coby hurries, while Sanji takes a huge sip of wine, cheeks red.

“Anyway! It doesn’t matter,” Luffy proclaims. “It’s great that you know Ace! So I know you’re a great guy!”

“And I know that you’re a mess even more chaotic than your two brothers are, and I should steer clear,” Marco returns. Luffy doesn’t seem to take offense, just cackles loudly in response.

“I’m Kidd, as you already know,” Kidd continues. “A mechanic. Twenty-five.”

“Zoro,” Zoro nods. “I practise  _ kendo _ . Twenty-three.”

“Law,” Law says. “I’m a surgeon. I’m twenty-eight years old.”

“Hi, I’m Coby,” Coby greets. “I’m training to be a police officer. I’m the youngest — I’m twenty.”

“Wyper,” Wyper nods. “Environmental activist. I’m twenty-six.”

“Sanji,” Sanji says. “I’m a chef. I'm the same age as the marimo over there — twenty-three.”

“I guess I’m the oldest, then,” Marco smiles. “I’m an Associate Professor at the Grand Line University — I teach Veterinary Sciences. I’m thirty.”

_ “Oh?” _ Reiju looks at Robin.  _ “Didn’t you teach at the Grand Line University before?” _

_ “Yes,” _ Robin says.  _ “He is rather young for an Associate Professor — he must be new. I have never met him before.” _

“Ooh! Isn’t that the same as what Torao does?” Luffy grins.

Law bristles, “Once again, I am a surgeon. It is very different from being a vet.”

“What’s the difference? You both save lives!”

Law gives Marco a look. “Your duffel is still here,” he says plainly, tilting his head towards the stairs, where the door is.

“Are you trying to chase my date away?” Kidd asks Law, grin sharp on his face. “When I’m not even trying to take Sanji away from you?”

_ “Kidd knows!”  _ Vivi squeals.

_ “Of course Kidd knows — who  _ wouldn’t _ know? Law hasn’t exactly been discreet.” _ Nami answers.

_ “I know one person who might not know…”  _ Tashigi trails off, and the three girls exchange glances. 

“Sanji?” Luffy repeats, blinking cluelessly. Sanji hides his face further in his wine glass, and Coby’s gaze toggles between Sanji and Law.

Meanwhile, Law raises a middle finger Kidd’s way, while Kidd’s smile merely grows larger. Marco sits back and watches their interactions, then nods at a painting hung over the stairwell. “Was this painted by one of you?”

There’s a clear detach between both sides of the painting — on the left, heavy black ink strokes are split apart by tinier gray lines; it is murky and dark, almost like it could be an artistic rendition of a waterfall imagined in monochrome, or a splash of water breaking apart a rainy landscape. On the other side, it is brighter. Different shades of blue seem to mimic the changing hues of the sea as fishes dance about beneath the surface, sunlight glittering from above. 

The only connection to the two scenes is when the blue of the water melts into the ground, turning black as the droplet splits apart. 

“Sanji and I did it,” Law answers. 

Marco appraises the painting. “I can see that two very different perspectives have taken either side of the canvas,” he notes. “Though the theme of ‘water’ brings them together.”

“It wasn’t planned,” Sanji admits. “I was surprised myself when I saw that Law had done something related to water as well.”

“I don’t get it,” Luffy scrunches his features together. He taps at Zoro’s arm. “I see how that is the sea,” he points at Sanji’s side of the painting, “but how is that water? It’s just all black and icky.” 

“I dunno,” Zoro frowns. “Maybe if you were colourblind? It kinda looks like water — but it’s thicker; more like blood. Huh. Maybe it  _ is _ blood. Like blood dripping from the edge of a blade.”

“Uh…” Coby inclines his head. “It feels a little like  _ wuxia _ to me. Like how a weathered fighter might paint the rain with ink.”

“I didn’t know you watched  _ wuxia _ ,” Wyper raises a brow. “Thought you’d only watch things like… well, I’d say Die Hard for the cop aspect but you don’t look like the type to watch mindless, gratuitous violence either.”

“Die Hard is a classic and all of you should watch it,” Kidd proclaims.

Ignoring all their remarks, Coby continues, “But um… I really like the other side too. It makes me feel at peace. The fishes look so free, and the water is so calming…”

“And Law’s painting makes you feel like you’re dead, right?” Kidd adds on. Coby whacks him on the arm, but he just shrugs. “Look at all that black and tell me you don’t feel the need to gouge your eyeballs out.”

“I won’t dig out my eyes,” Luffy responds. “But I think it needs some colour. Like red! It needs some red!”

“... Luffy, I  _ swear _ , adding red to this won’t do it any good,” Zoro shakes his head.

“Or yellow! Ooh, yellow’s always nice! Sanji, stick your hair up in there!”

“What?  _ No —” _

“Or uh, Pineapple-head! Put your head up there! It’ll look like a pineapple under water!”

“Like this?” Marco gets up and stands below the painting, stretching his neck out such that his hair fits into the canvas.

“Don’t just agree to his whims!” Sanji yells. 

“That looks much better,” Kidd nods, giving Luffy a high-five.

“I could make it a permanent fixture, if you like,” the tips of Law’s lips curl. “Zoro, hand me your  _ katana _ .”

“A-Are… what are you insinuating you’re going to do to a newcomer who has just arrived?” Coby’s face is white, and he — very obviously — leans away from Law.

“A pineapple under water,” Wyper’s mouth twitches. “Sounds like a cartoon we all know too well.”

Luffy’s eyes bulge. Swallowing as much air as his lungs can take, he screams, “ _ WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE UNDER THE SEA?” _

_ “Oh no….”  _ Vivi covers her mouth with her palm, but even so the sides of her eyes have crinkled into a smile.

Luffy’s shout drifts away into silence as the rest of them stare at him. And then Kidd turns away and smiles. “Shall we talk about exes?”

“Sounds good,” Zoro nods, reaching out for the pack of chips Marco had rejected.

“So… did I tell you I used to date this creep called Hawkins,” Kidd begins, while Luffy sputters in indignation.

“Hey! Listen to me!”

“Yeah. That got me off dating blondes for good,” Kidd reaches for some chips in Zoro’s pack. “So don’t worry Law — I ain’t after Sanji. Though maybe my next date could change my mind.” He wiggles his brows at Marco as he stuffs the chips in his mouth and crushes them under his teeth.

“What did this Hawkins do?” Marco probes, returning to his seat and crossing his legs as he does.

“ —  _ PLOP LIKE A FISH!” _

“Kept staring at some cards and calculating probabilities, or some shit. The moment he told me that our relationship had a 30% chance of working, I told him to make that 0% and that his cards couldn’t tell shit. So that was that,” Kidd shrugs.

“Why did you even date him in the first place, then?” Coby questions.

“ _ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!” _

“Damn, you really got him going,” Sanji says to Wyper, who gives an apologetic smile.

“Well, he’ll run out soon enough,” Wyper says. “I hope.”

“Back then I guess I was into that mopey, silent, grumpy type,” Kidd wipes at a crumb by the edge of his mouth. 

“Wouldn’t that be the marimo?” Sanji teases. “Silent, grumpy type who can’t do anything more than lift weights and slice stuff?”

“ _ You _ slice stuff too,” Zoro points out.

“Different stuff!” Sanji throws back.

“Maybe I like the awkward, shy type too,” Kidd teases, grinning wide. It takes a second, but Coby hides his face behind a curtain of hair. 

_ “Awwwww _ , _ ”  _ Vivi slumps onto the desk, chin melting into the palm of her hand.

_ “Vivi,” _ Nami says.  _ “Your trash is showing.” _

“Neither of that is me,” Marco says.

“Or I could discover a new type. Who the fuck cares about things like  _ types _ ? There’s a reason why the people you dated in the past didn’t work out.” 

“True,” Zoro agrees. “That girl from my childhood — the one who beat me up. I dated her when we got older. Didn’t work out. She was loud and opinionated and had a sharp mouth. All the more reason for me to avoid blondie here,” he cuts Sanji a glare. “Anyone up to change partners?”

“Me,” Law says immediately, but instead of looking at Sanji he’s staring at Luffy, who is still blaring out the final notes to the song.  _ “Please _ ,” he says.

Zoro stares at Luffy for a while. “Nah,” he decides. “I thought anyone would be better than blondie, but — yeah. Maybe not.”

_ “Law and Luffy will be hilarious,”  _ Nami decides.

_ “Isn’t it funny how Law wants to switch partners, not because he specifically wants Sanji as his next partner but because he wants to be rid of Luffy?” _ Vivi agrees.

_ “Luffy is annoying,” _ Hancock nods.  _ “But I daresay he will be a far more fun partner than any of the other men in this apartment.” _

_ “What is this?”  _ Nami leans forward, eyes glittering.  _ “Are you saying that you’d go on a date with…  _ Luffy _?” _

_ “Men are all hideous creatures,” _ Hancock begins,  _ “but if I had to choose… I suppose going on a date with a person who at least has a morsel of fun in his system wouldn’t be the worst thing to happen to me.” _

“Luffy wouldn’t be…  _ that _ bad…” Coby tries, but at Law’s glare he shrinks back into his seat.

“I have dated many unsavoury figures in my life,” Law says, “and he might just be the worst.”

“How about you then?” Zoro nudges Coby. “You’re, what, twenty? Have you dated?”

“Um… no, not yet,” Coby fiddles with his sleeve. “I have been on some dates, but… nothing serious.”

“Yeah, me too!” Luffy, now having exhausted the song, pipes back in. “Never dated! Hm… unless holding hands with Usopp when he was afraid of the merry-go-round counts? Or when I hugged Chopper —”

“Dated a little when I was younger,” Wyper comments. “But, you know, never turned out well,” he glances at Zoro, who nods in return. “Been a while since I last dated. 

“I have dated a couple of people,” Sanji supplies. “Not a lot — nothing too serious. But yes, it’s also been a while. Working at a restaurant, you don’t get that much free time.”

“I would expand on my dating history,” Marco begins, “but considering it involves someone’s brother, I think it’d be better if I kept my mouth shut.” Upon saying that, however, his mouth peels wide and open into a yawn. “And I think it’s about time I headed to bed.”

“Yeah,” Law agrees. “I’d better go to sleep too.”

“Yeah,” Kidd says. “I’m beat.”

“I’ll head to bed as well,” Sanji agrees, and Coby gets up from the sofa. 

“Me too.”

“What? You guys suck!” Luffy sticks his tongue out. “Then I’ll call Ace and Sabo and see what they’re up to! I can’t believe they didn’t call to wish me a Merry Christmas!” Luffy grabs his phone and marches into the balcony, already stabbing his finger into the keypad as he does.

Wyper glances at Zoro as the rest slowly retreat back to their beds. “You sleepy?” he asks.

“Nah,” Zoro says, picking at a slice of apple that has remained largely untouched. “You?”

“Nah,” Wyper says. He looks out the window, beyond Luffy’s frame in the balcony. “You wanna go for a walk?”

“It’s two in the morning,” Zoro looks out. “Sure.”

Once they’ve gotten their coats, they head out the door — slinking past Luffy, who’s talking loudly on the phone. As they leave, they catch snippets of his conversation through the door.

“Whoever’s on the other end sounds upset,” Wyper notes as they wind down the stairs.

“Luffy probably woke them up from their sleep.” Zoro comments. They reach the front door, and the moment Zoro pushes the handle down, a gust of wind sweeps into the apartment.

Wyper wraps the coat tighter around his body. “It’s cold.”

“Yeah,” Zoro says… and then tosses a smirk over his shoulder. “Why, you wanna wrap yourself around my arm to keep warm?”

“Not cold enough,” Wyper grins, and the two of them make their way out. “Yet,” he adds.

_ “It’s the two of them again,”  _ Vivi comments.  _ “Do you think anything might happen here?” _

_ “Who knows,” _ Nami says.  _ “They’re both tired, maybe slightly buzzed. Anything could happen.” _

“Hey,” Zoro says. Wyper turns, only for a fistful of snow to come flying into his face. “Oops. Guess you didn’t catch that.”

Wyper wipes at the ice around his eyes. Before Zoro can run, Wyper kicks at the snow with his right leg, causing the fluff to fly up and over Zoro’s face. Zoro slams his eyelids shut; Wyper grabs snow with his right hand and then hooks his left elbow over Zoro’s neck, smashing the ball of ice over the other man’s head.

_ “Agh!” _ Zoro says, pushing Wyper away from him as the snow begins to cascade into his eyes from his hair. “‘s cold!”

“Why, you wanna wrap yourself around my arm to keep warm?” Wyper teases. Zoro glares up at the other man, before a smirk slowly crawls up his lips.

“Yeah…” Zoro says, moving closer to Wyper. Wyper slowly backs away, but even so it’s too late: Zoro leaps up into the air and pounces onto the other man, and the two of them topple onto the ground. Zoro grabs snow with both hands and dumps it onto Wyper’s face. “This is definitely keeping me warm.”

“ _ Bah, _ ” Wyper pushes his cheek to one side as he sputters, blinking the snow from his eyes. “Alright, you win! Stop — stop!” 

Zoro stops, fistful of snow midway in the air. “I win?” he affirms.

“Yeah, yeah, fine,” Wyper accedes. Grinning, Zoro releases the snow from his palm and helps Wyper up. “I pity whoever’s going on a date with you next. Who’s it again — Law?”

“Sanji,” Zoro grimaces. “Would far prefer Law. I still haven’t seen his  _ nodachi.  _ That would be cool.”

“Hm…” Wyper stares at Zoro for a while, still wiping the snow from his clothes. He blinks when Zoro reaches out towards him, and Zoro rolls his eyes.

“Got some snow stuck in your braid,” Zoro says, wiping at the snow with the back of his hand. Then he grins again. “And on your cheek” With that, he smacks Wyper across the cheek with the back of his palm.

Wyper grabs at his wrist, holding it in place as he scowls. “That was a cheap shot!”

“The  _ wasabi _ was a cheap shot!”

“You still holding a grudge about that?”

“Not holding grudges,” Zoro answers, “but seeking payment. And now I’ve got it. Alright, alright, I promise — no more cheap shots. For real. We’re both sportsmen, right?”

“Yeah, I believe you,” Wyper says, but he doesn’t let go. He stares at Zoro a while longer. “You know that moss is considered a national treasure?”

Zoro cocks a brow. “You trying to confess to me now?”

Wyper smirks, a little. “Hell no. I’ve got a date with a pink-headed police officer; and you have one with a damn good chef.”

“Then?”

“Tell me,” Wyper begins, the smile fading from his lips. “That date I went on — you planned it for Law, didn’t you?”

_ “Oh,” _ Nami gasps.  _ “I didn’t see this coming.” _

_ “Wyper wouldn’t be… mad, would he?”  _ Vivi’s eyes dart between Wyper and Zoro.  _ “I mean… surely not?” _

_ “Imagine if they had a fist fight here in competition for Zoro’s affections,” _ Robin comments.  _ “That is something none of us would have expected.” _

_ “I’d expect something over Sanji instead,” _ Reiju agrees. 

“The date?” Zoro frowns, considering. “Well, no. Not exactly. Just thought it’d be cool to bring someone where I work — but in hindsight, yeah. Could be. I could’ve had Law in mind when I decided on it, it’s true.” He leans in a little closer, “You jealous?”

“I didn’t even know you then,” Wyper snorts, letting go of Zoro’s wrist. “Just thought of it when you mentioned his sword.” Wyper walks forward, and Zoro follows along. “What are you planning then, for Sanji?”

“… You interested in Sanji?” Zoro asks, arching his brow even higher. “Who knew that prissy cook had so many admirers?”

“Nah,” Wyper says again. “Just… wondering. I have no idea what I’d do with Coby. I won’t bring him to my gym — that’s weird.”

“Well, I brought you to my dojo and things worked out fine,” Zoro answers. 

“Yeah, because that was  _ me. _ Can you imagine bringing Coby to your dojo?”

“I’ll just whip him into shape, that‘s all.” At that statement, Wyper shakes his head, though his lips curve slightly.

“It’s a date, Zoro. I’m fine with whatever you brought me on because it’s me — but I don’t think many others would appreciate the same.”

“It’s the prissy cook,” Zoro says. “Wherever I bring him, he’ll probably make a huge fuss about it. What’s the point? He should plan the date in that case. Or,” Zoro stops, and Wyper turns around. “We could swap. I’ll get you again, and Coby can deal with the cook. I’ll pity that kid, but better him than me.”

“… Do you really not see what’s going on?” Wyper asks.

“Huh?” Zoro frowns. “What d’you mean? Between me and you?”

“No,” Wyper raises his hand to rub at his nose bridge. “Not between us — between Sanji and Coby.”

“They got beef?” 

Wyper heaves a sigh. “ _ No _ ,” he says again. “Isn’t it obvious? Coby is interested in Sanji.”

_ “If Wyper has noticed it…”  _ Tashigi considers,  _ “Does that mean the rest of them might have noticed this as well? I mean — aside from Zoro, of course.” _

_ “I didn’t anticipate anyone to notice Coby’s feelings towards Sanji,”  _ Vivi admits.  _ “Law has always been more obvious.” _

_ “It’s true; we have no idea how things look like to the people who are actually in the apartment,” _ Robin says.  _ “Perhaps Coby’s reactions have been pretty blatant after all.” _

“What?” Zoro repeats. “Nah. I thought Law was the one who had the hots for the cook?”

“Law… maybe,” Wyper accedes. “But Coby is pretty obvious.”

“Since when?” Zoro frowns, brows coiling tighter together. “I mean, sure, the cook’s decent to him, but —” 

“Never mind,” Wyper shakes his head. “Doesn’t matter. Thing is, Coby would probably be  _ elated _ if you swapped partners with him.”

“Why do so many people fancy the cook anyway?” Zoro ponders aloud, kicking at the snow. “Don’t get it.”

“Maybe you’ll get it once you go on a date with him,” Wyper suggests. Zoro snorts.

“As if. If I do, you’ll get the chance to throw me into the freezing ocean.”

Wyper raises his brow. “I’ll take you up on it.”

“Go ahead,” Zoro shakes his head. “Ain’t gonna happen.”

INT - TV STUDIO

“I am pretty sure Zoro just jinxed himself,” Nami proclaims, plucking her earpiece out from one ear. “We are going to get that shot of Zoro diving into the water,  _ for sure.  _ You can’t say something like that and not expect to do it.”

“I’ll love to see how Sanji seduces Zoro to his side,” Vivi giggles. “Though that’ll make the Sanji-Law-Coby triangle even more complicated.”

“Poor Coby,” Nami sighs. “He hasn’t even had a proper chance yet. Also, it’s a little weird, but we’re revealing the love lines for the previous episode only now — since the day, or night, has only just ended!” 

“Who shall we take a look at first?” Vivi peers to look at the board. “I think the safest bet is always to begin with Law.”   
  
The rest agree, and Nami taps at the board with her marker. “Let’s take a look at Law!”

**Law >>> Sanji**

**“You have too many good points to list.”**

“Oh my god,” Vivi gasps. “That is… that is the sweetest thing.”

“Doesn’t that just mean that he doesn’t know what to say?” Nami says, grinning when Vivi turns to shoot her an affronted look.

“Nami! Don’t say that! That is — that’s just…”

“Law seems surprisingly adept at playing the chasing game,” Robin notes with a bemused smile. “Shall we take a look at Sanji next?”

**Sanji >>> Coby**

**“I meant every word.”**

“This is also just —  _ ahhhhh _ ,” Vivi smashes her face into her opened palms. “Why are these two so adorable? I can’t — I don’t know which pair to vote for at this rate!”

“Let’s take a look at Coby next, then,” Nami says.

**Coby >>> Sanji**

**“Thank you for everything. I really appreciate the compliment.”**

“Alright, just gonna say it here,” Nami claps her hands together. “This sounds almost the same as what he sent to Kidd that previous time.”

“Are you trying to say that Coby is losing interest in Sanji?” Tashigi asks, flipping her notebook. She skims through the words she had written a few weeks back. “Yes, it is a little similar… but I don’t think that’s anything too bad.”

“If Coby wants a fighting chance with Sanji, then he needs to up his game!” Nami says. “Oh, right.  **After this, we won’t be revealing their messages to one another in the subsequent rounds of messaging — and they won’t see their messages either.** All they can do is send and not receive. So, considering that this is Coby’s last chance to score some brownie points through messaging… he didn’t fare too well.”

“In that case, Law and Sanji really utilised their last messages well,” Reiju nods her head. “Who shall we look at next?”

“Hm…” Vivi frowns. “Perhaps… Kidd?”

**Kidd >>> Coby**

**“You have better friends now.”**

_ “Awwwww,”  _ Vivi squeals, squirming in her seat. “Even Kidd is doing a better job than Coby himself! Look at this!”

“Precisely my point,” Nami says.

“They are better at texting than I thought they’d be,” Hancock accedes. “I had faith in Coby. He has disappointed me thoroughly. Kidd deserves someone better than that.”

“Did I hear that right?” Nami grins. “You’re actually on  _ Kidd’s _ side now.”

“I am an open-minded woman,” Hancock declares. “I will switch sides if they impress me enough. Kidd has shown to be more than a muscle-headed brute — and Coby has not shown himself to be anything more than a shy, reserved man who still has not shown the object of his affection his aforementioned affections.”

“That is a needlessly complicated sentence,” Reiju remarks.

“Hancock isn’t wrong, though,” Nami shrugs. “Let’s take a look at… hm. Wyper, perhaps.”

**Wyper >>> Zoro**

**“I don’t see conflict in our career paths.”**

“…” Vivi stares at the screen. 

“Is that… a confession,” Nami states. “But well, from that snowball fight — which happened  _ after _ the messages were sent — it seems like they’re just close friends.”

“I think Wyper just stuck with Zoro,” Tashigi suggests. “Well, at least this is a logical message. Stating the practicalities of their relationship — should there be one.”

“Shall we take a look at Luffy next?” Robin suggests.

**Luffy >>> Kidd**

**“If you don’t treat me to a meal I’m going to post that video of yours up!”**

Nami blinks. Vivi’s jaw drops. Robin chuckles.

“Did Luffy message Kidd… only to  _ threaten  _ him?” Nami asks. “I never knew that boy had it in him! I’m so proud!” She wipes an imaginary tear from the corner of her eyes.

“But Nami, that means… we’ve lost,” Vivi says. “We guessed Luffy to Sanji…”

Nami’s eyes bulge. “That’s right! You rubber-headed idiot!” She jabs her finger at the screen and begins shaking it. “What kind of a stupid message is this? Take it back! I want our crystals!”

“Nami, please read the last part of the message,” Robin says, smile widening when Nami drops her arm to her hand to skim through the last line.

**“... Just kidding! Treat me to a meal anyway!”**

“Are you  _ kidding _ me…” Nami charges forward again, grabbing at the screen. “I swear, I am going to —”

“Nami, calm down!” Vivi says, while Tashigi peels Nami from the TV. “It’s okay — it’s just Luffy. He’s just a kid!”

“A snot-nosed brat is what he is,” Nami huffs, slumping back into her seat with no small amount of reluctance. “Fine. It’s over. We’ve lost this stupid crystal. Who’s next? I don’t even care anymore.”

**Zoro >>> Law**

**“We should hang out soon.”**

“It appears we wouldn’t have won anyway…” Vivi pouts. “We guessed Zoro to Luffy…” 

“Why the hell is Zoro messaging Law from out of nowhere?” Nami slams her fist down. “I thought he’s given up on that whole sparring-thing, and now he’s messaging Law again?”

“Maybe it’s a drunken text,” Robin suggests.

“Maybe he’s just  _ playing with us _ ,” Nami shakes her head. “Fine. Whatever. No crystals for anyone. Let’s get on with the program.”

INT - SUPERMARKET

“Alright,” Sanji holds a hand up. “This is how it’s gonna work. You’re gonna  _ silently _ follow after me and not make a sound. Got it?” 

Luffy grins. “Yeah, sure! Ooh, something smells good — are they cooking the sausages?” Just when Luffy’s about to drift off in the direction of food, Sanji grabs at the back of his collar.

“ _ What _ did I just say?”

“Not make a sound, yeah, I got it! But ooh, those sausages have bacon wrapped over them!” Luffy trails after the little push-cart anyway, and Sanji rubs at his temples.

“Fine.  _ Fine _ ,” he says, pushing the trolley in the other direction. “I don’t know that kid, I don’t know that kid…”

Eventually they cross paths again, Luffy stumbling into Sanji as he balances five styrofoam cups full of sample food in his hands. Luffy nearly drops one of the cups, but he launches his head forward and bites down on the rim of the cup just before it topples. 

He glances up, and his frown smooths over when he notices Sanji. “Snnzi!!!” he says, still holding onto the cup with his teeth. “Iz yuuu!!”

“How much food have you been eating?” Sanji comments, raising a brow. He plucks that last cup out from Luffy’s mouth, eyeing the row of teeth marks with disdain. 

“There’s so much good food here! Someone was giving out chicken bites, and then another person offered me some stir-fried udon, and then there were dumplings and soup and ice-cream and fresh tomatoes and meat skewers — and I could take as many as I wanted,  _ and _ it’s free! This is great!” With that said, Luffy yanks his cup back from Sanji’s grip and pours the grilled vegetables into his mouth. The moment he swallows, though, he scrunches his brows together and sticks out his tongue. “Ew. It’s all vegetables. I don’t like this one.”

“Glad to know that the way to force you to eat your greens is to mix them up with a bunch of other food,” Sanji comments. His trolley is full, and he parks himself at the end of a long line. Luffy follows after, munching on popcorn.

“You didn’t try any?” Luffy asks with wide eyes. 

“Nah,” he says. “They’re mostly instant food anyway — not all that healthy. Fresh food is always better.”

“Hm? But instant food gives you food immediately, because it’s instant! So it’s fast and yummy,” Luffy comments, now chewing on some fried tofu. He stares at Sanji while he munches. “Hm. Is that why you always look so tired?”

“Do I…” Sanji glances at himself in the reflection in a glass panel. “Do I always look tired?”

“Yeah,” Luffy answers. “You always look like a zombie before you smoke. And if we talk to you you’ll be snappy and annoyed.” He finishes the tofu, and moves on to his fourth cup — soup. The moment the broth touches his lips, he pulls away, sticking his tongue out. “Ah! It’s hot!”

“Of course it is; it’s still steaming,” Sanji shakes his head, but he hands a bottle of water over to Luffy anyway, taking Luffy’s cup from him. Luffy gulps down the water. “It still hurts!” he whines, even as he returns the bottle to Sanji. “Bleh. Stupid soup.”

Sanji glances at the film of oil, and lifts the cup to his nose. “Too much sodium in this,” he notes, “and too greasy; too heavy.”

“Gimme,” Luffy says, as Sanji hands the bowl over. “Not like waiting is gonna make it less hot,” he states, before downing the soup whole.

“That’s… literally what waiting does…” Sanji says, watching as Luffy immediately begins flailing, flapping his hand in front of his tongue like it might fan away the heat.

It takes a while, but Luffy finally calms down enough to crunch the cup in his palm. “Stupid soup!”

“It looked salty,” Sanji comments, as Luffy throws the cup into a nearby bin. 

“Ooh! How did you know?” Luffy says. “You’re so good at your job — you know how it tastes like even without trying it! Why are you still so tired?”

“That doesn’t even make sense. Being good at it doesn’t mean I have a limitless amount of energy, like you,” Sanji replies. They move up the line; there’s still about ten people ahead of them. 

“Hm…” Luffy taps his finger against his chin. “I like Sanji, but I don’t like grumpy Sanji!” He pulls his brows tighter together, now munching on the last of his snacks —  _ takoyaki _ . “I know!” He raises his index finger in the air. “I can pay you! I can pay you way more, and then you can just cook for me and sleep the rest of the day away! Isn’t that good?”

Sanji’s eyebrows disappear into his hairline. “No,” he says, “because all you’ll eat is meat. And I’d like to have a variety to play with.”

“Hm…” Luffy’s frown deepens, his cheek bulging with food. “Well… I guess… if it’s Sanji’s food… I’ll try anything! I love your food! Nothing beats your cooking!”

Sanji lowers his head a little. A small smile peeks out from beneath his fall of blond hair.

_ “Aw,” _ Vivi leans towards the screen,  _ “is he… blushing?” _

_ “He is!”  _ Nami laughs, clapping her hands together.  _ “He really can’t do anything about compliments, huh? Especially when it comes so sincerely from someone who can’t lie, like Luffy!” _

“Thanks, I guess,” Sanji says, reaching behind to card his fingers through his hair. “Uh… so… you’re going on a date with Law, huh?”

Luffy aims his stack of empty cups at a bin a couple of metres away, and then throws them. They fly in a perfect arc before landing straight into the bin, and Luffy whoops loudly, swinging his fist in the air. “Did you see that, Sanji? Did you see that? It fell straight in! Whoa, I should’ve recorded that!” 

Sanji’s smile grows wider, but he catches it before it can split into a grin. His gaze is soft as he shakes his head, “Yeah, I saw that. Don’t do that in public next time.”

“Why not? It got in!” Then Luffy goes on his tip-toes, “This line is taking so long! Oh?” He whirls back around to regard Sanji. “Did you say something just now?”

“Huh? Uh, yeah. You’re going on a date with Law next — are you excited?” The line moves up, and Sanji pushes the trolley forward.

“Law — you mean Torao?” Luffy tilts his head. “Yeah! He’s cool — he’s grumpy, like you! And he always looks so tired, even more than you! He’s funny. I like his tattoos. Did you know he bought me food once?”

“He did?” Sanji looks genuinely surprised, and Luffy bobs his head.

“Yeah! He threw me some money and told me to get myself a hotdog bun! That was when he met Usopp — but then he ran away. But it’s okay; the hotdog bun was good!”

“Ah,” the sides of Sanji’s eyes crinkle. “Yeah, that sounds more like him.”

“Oh yeah,” Luffy peers at Sanji. “Didn’t you go on a date with him? How was it? Was it fun? Did you like him?”

“That’s too many questions.” The blond swats at Luffy’s face, and Luffy pulls his head back. “Yeah, I did. It was… fun. I enjoyed myself. He’s easy to talk to; calm.”

“Yeah, he always grunts and pulls his face like this,” Luffy wrinkles his forehead and knits his brows together and pulls the corners of his lips downward. “It’s funny!” 

“He only does it to  _ you _ ,” Sanji quips back. Luffy releases the imitation and blinks at Sanji.

“Then how does he treat you?”

Sanji looks away at that. He glances at the food in his trolley, then at the line ahead of him. He lifts his fingers to his lips, as though forgetting that he doesn’t have a cigarette; when his fingers close into air, he lets them hover awkwardly for a second before bringing his arm back to his side. “Well,” Sanji begins.

_ “Well?”  _ Nami repeats, grin wide.

“I can’t tell. It’s confusing.”

“What do you mean by confusing?” Luffy probes. “He talks to you! Everytime I go down for breakfast, he’s there talking to you.”

_ “Yeah, how is it confusing?” _ Vivi pipes up.  _ “Law is so blatantly interested in Sanji! Even Luffy sees it!” _

_ “Well,”  _ Robin chimes in,  _ “As mentioned earlier — we don’t know how they see one another. Perhaps to us it’s clear as day, but to them it might not be as evident.” _

“Well, yeah,” Sanji agrees. “That’s because the rest of you are noisy as hell and he can’t stand it as much as I can.”

“Hahahahaha, you’re right!” Luffy cackles his trademark laugh, slapping at Sanji’s shoulder. “But he doesn’t talk to anyone as much as he talks to you!”

“Yeah, I guess,” Sanji pulls his shoulders up in a shrug. “I don’t know. It’s difficult to tell.”

“Then do you like Torao?” Luffy asks.

Sanji hesitates. A person leaves the counter, and he drops his hands to the handle of the trolley as they edge closer to the front. “I… I don’t know,” he says. “It’s too early to tell.” When Luffy doesn’t respond, Sanji nibbles a little on his bottom lip. “I guess,” he adds, “Maybe? I could… I guess I could see myself liking him.”

“ _ Oh my god!!!” _ Vivi squeals. She launches herself onto the nearest arm — Reiju’s,  _ “Is this a confession?” _

_ “He said that he could see himself liking him, not that he already likes him,” _ Reiju corrects.  _ “But yes. It’s a sign.” _

“But?” Luffy frowns. 

“But…” Sanji pauses again. “But I don’t know if he’s actually interested in me at all.”

_ “What?” _ Vivi practically screams.  _ “He — you — what?” _

_ “Vivi, calm down,”  _ Nami says, even though she’s smiling. Vivi whips her head to Nami’s direction.

_ “How can I — Sanji, he — isn’t it so obvious?” _

“Why not?” Luffy asks. “You’re great!”

Sanji chuckles. “You don’t — you don’t date people simply because they’re ‘great’. Well, actually, I guess you do… but it’s all subjective. I don’t know,” Sanji shrugs again. “I guess he’s been kinda flirting with me, but I can’t tell if it’s serious…” the blond looks up at Luffy’s wide eyes and stops. He shakes his head, “Why am I telling you this? You’re gonna go on a date with Law soon. This is… weird.”

“Why’s it weird?” Luffy frowns. “I guess I won’t know if he likes you or not — you should probably know that for yourself better. But I don't think he just flirts with anyone.” He shrugs a little. “And yeah, I’ll see for myself how he’s like soon! Maybe we’ll become rivals,” Luffy cackles. “That’ll be fun!”

“Rivals for Law’s affections,” Sanji quirks a smile. “Yeah. I can’t imagine how he’ll take it — especially if it comes from you.”

“Yeah — hey, wait! What’s wrong with me?”

“Too much energy,” Sanji begins to list off his fingers, “Too noisy, smile too much…”

“Those are all good things!”

“Not to Law,” Sanji answers.

_ “True,” _ Nami nods.

_ “Exactly,” _ Vivi agrees.

Once they have paid for the food, they hail for a cab to make their way home.

  
  
INT - GRAND LINE APARTMENT

“Hey,” Kidd lifts his hand in greeting as Sanji and Luffy return, their hands weighed down by grocery bags. “Need a hand with that?”

“Nah,” Sanji says, while Luffy drops the bags unceremoniously onto the dinner table.

“I gotta pee!” he announces, to no one in particular, before whizzing off. Sanji rolls his eyes as he places the rest of the bags in the kitchen.

“So,” Sanji glances at Kidd. “You wanted paella?”

“Yeah,” Kidd folds his arms across his chest and sinks into the beanbag chair. “You said you’d make anything I wanted, right?”

“Yeah, paella’s fine,” Sanji answers, organising the grocery items in the refrigerator. “Out of curiosity — why paella, though?”

“My friend made some for me a few years back and it was great,” Kidd answers, fiddling with a piece of wood. “But because we got drunk and trashed his kitchen, he refused to make it ever since. He sure holds grudges,” he lifts up the wood to the light.

“I’d do the same, if not worse,” Sanji answers, moving to wash the rice. “I’ll kick your ass out of my house if you trash my kitchen.”

“Yeah, we’ve all seen that temper of yours,” Kidd cracks a grin. “How you screamed at Zoro when he mutilated the cutting board…”

Sanji’s grip tightens around the rice cooker. “It was a  _ communal _ board and he didn’t even have the decency to inform us of it!”

“Yeah, yeah,” Kidd agrees easily. At the pad of footsteps from the stairs, Kidd turns. The grin peels wider across his face. “Hey,” he nods. “Aren’t you jealous that Sanji’s taking  _ my _ order?”

“Piss off, Eustass,” Law answers. He makes his way to the kitchen and glances at the array of ingredients Sanji has left out. “What’re you making?”

“Paella,” Sanji replies, moving to dice some vegetables now that the rice is cooking. 

“Hm?” Law raises a brow. “Paella is… a common dish in my house.”

“Really?” Sanji says. 

“Yeah,” Law says, grabbing a bottle of water from the refrigerator. “But my dad burns the rice half the time, so,” he shrugs. “Whatever you make will be infinitely better than anything anyone else can make, though, so I’m looking forward to it.”

“Hey,” Kidd calls out from the other room. “You might have Law wrapped around your finger, but you still have my friend’s skills to contend with!”

“I’m surprised you even know the word ‘contend’,” Law quips back. Sanji rolls his eyes.

“If the two of you are going to argue, take it to the other room,” he says. “I’ve already had to deal with one noisy Luffy in the afternoon — don’t want to deal with anything more.”

“I understand,” Law says. “Luffy is… a bit much.”

“Can’t believe you’re gonna go on a date with him soon,” Sanji glances at Law. “Maybe you’ll like him.”

“ _ Please _ ,” Law says. He shuts the refrigerator door. “I’ll leave you in peace — if you had to handle that ball of energy for an entire afternoon, you deserve it.”

“Thanks,” comes Sanji’s reply.

Law stares at Kidd, who’s grinning up at him, and then sighs. He sits on the end of the couch furthest away from the beanbag chair before opening the bottle and taking a sip from it.

“Luffy, huh?” Kidd breaks the silence. Law just shoots him a middle finger, and Kidd laughs. “ _ Torao _ ,” he imitates Luffy’s higher-pitched voice,  _ “Thanks for the hotdog bun! That was great! _ ”

Law groans. “Is he still talking about that?”

“Only if we mention your name,” Kidd cackles. “You’ll have a chance to replace that with some new memories.”

“Ugh,” Law rubs at his temples. “You wanna swap?”

“Marco seems hella chill so that’s a no,” Kidd answers. A silence descends over them for a moment before Kidd pipes up, “You said you’ve dated some unsavoury figures — care to elaborate?”

“No,” Law says. When Kidd opens his mouth, he holds up his palm, “This is not an invitation for  _ you  _ to talk about your unsavoury experiences.”

“C’mon! This is what the people want to hear!” Kidd says, plopping the little wooden block onto the coffee table. 

“Then they can hear it from someone else,” Law answers. “And no, not you. No one is interested in your sordid affairs — especially not me.”

The grin drops from Kidd’s face. He glares at Law. “You’re such a piece of shit, you know that?” Kidd bites back. “Can’t even make fucking conversation with you. I’m so glad I’m not the one who’s going to be stuck on a date with you.”

By then, Sanji is frying meat on the pan. It sizzles loud enough to muffle Kidd and Law’s voices.

“I wouldn’t want to hang out with you either,” Law responds. “And conversation can span many other topics. I just don’t want to talk about past relationships when I am here, trying to pursue a new relationship. If you can’t take that, then that’s not my problem.”

“Just because you’re so good with your words —” Kidd takes a long breath. “Fuck. You know what? It’s not worth it. You’re just gonna — I was just trying to have a decent conversation. And now it’s suddenly  _ my  _ fault we can’t have a friendly chat.”

Law pauses. He caps his bottle and slowly places it onto the coffee table. He stares at his bottle for a while before he opens his mouth and looks Kidd’s way. “I’m… I’m sorry. You are right. My reaction was… uncalled for. I can be a little abrasive at times. I’m sorry. We can… we can talk. Just not about past relationships.”

When Kidd doesn’t immediately respond, Law drops his gaze to the block of wood on the coffee table. “Coby said that you had brought him to a woodcarving workshop,” Law tries. “That sounds… nice.”

Kidd remains silent for a few seconds longer, before he lets out a long sigh. “Yeah,” he throws the word out like it might be offensive. “Yeah, I — woodcarving calms me.”

“Were you thinking of making something with this?” Law asks, leaning over to pick up the block. Kidd glances over at the block in Law’s fingers.

“Yeah,” he says, dropping his shoulders down. “Look,” Kidd says when Law’s lips part to respond. “I don’t care what walls you have up or how grouchy you can be. We’re going to be living together for a while. We have to play nice, because I don’t wanna live somewhere where I have to walk on fucking eggshells all the time. I wanna talk about my past relationships and you don’t wanna? Great. You just tell me that you want a change of topic —  _ nicely _ . I’m not gonna take shit from you even if I’m trying to be the nice guy here. Got it?”

“Yeah,” Law answers. He looks Kidd in the eyes. “Like I said, I’m sorry. My behaviour has been… rude.”

“It has,” Kidd responds. He heaves another sigh. “That,” he nods at the wooden block, “was something I thought I could give to Marco. During our date.”

Law runs his fingers over the smoothed edges of the block. “What were you planning to make with it?” he asks. 

“I dunno,” Kidd shrugs. “Don’t know enough about the guy yet. Maybe an animal or something, since he’s a vet.”

“You could try to ask him sometime,” Law suggests. “Figure out if he has any pets, any favourite animal…” Law hesitates. “I have a dog. I could… help bring up the conversation.”

“You?” Kidd’s brow shoots up. “A  _ dog _ ?”

“Apparently it surprises people that I own a dog instead of a cat,” Law says, “but yes. I have a dog. And you will learn more about him next time.”

“At least I know it’s a  _ he _ ,” Kidd points out. He grins. “Huh. Guess you aren’t too bad when you don’t have a stick up your ass. Maybe you might actually have a chance with blondie.”

“You thought that I didn’t?” Law probes, handing the block over to Kidd. 

“Well, you’ve been flirting like crazy but he hasn’t been responding at all. Everyone can see that,” Kidd shrugs. 

“Has he not?” Law quirks a smile.

“You’re acting like you know something we don’t,” Kidd raises his brows. “So far, it just looks like you’re chasing after someone who’s too nice to say ‘no’.”

“How about you and Coby then?” Law returns. “You have been teasing him and he hasn’t been responding either.”

“It’s just fun to tease him. Besides, how’d you know he has not?” Kidd retorts. He lets out a huff of laughter. “I guess none of us knows exactly how another’s date has gone, huh? Wyper and Luffy’s sounds like a disaster — who knows, maybe it actually went well.”

“Well,” Law says. “I’m saying it because I know that Coby is also interested in Sanji.”

Kidd jolts. He leans forward, eyes wide. “He’s…  _ what _ ?”

“You don’t see it?” Law folds his arms across his chest and reclines back onto the couch. “I guess he hasn’t been too obvious.”

“And you’d know, because you’ve been noticing Sanji,” Kidd observes.

“You could say that,” Law smiles.

“Huh.” Kidd frowns. “Never noticed shit. Coby just seems… friendly, as always. Nice. A little too timid, but we can whip that guy into shape.”

“I hope Coby knows that you’re planning on being his gym trainer,” Law jokes, just as Sanji files into the living room. He stares at them.

“Everyone else is upstairs?” he asks.

“I suppose,” Law replies. “Is dinner ready? Shall I go get them?”

“Yeah, please do,” Sanji says. “You,” he jerks his chin at Kidd. “You can help set up the table.”

“No problemo…  _ blondie _ ,” Kidd smirks as Sanji spins back around, eyes widening.

“What did you just call me?”

“I’ll go upstairs,” Law says.

INT - TV STUDIO

“Is this the first time we’ve actually seen Law and Kidd interacting?” Nami asks, spinning on her chair. “As in, alone together?”

“I think so,” Reiju nods. “Sanji and Luffy have interacted before — though perhaps Zoro is usually there by their sides.”

“Those two interactions have been very revealing,” Nami claps her hands together. “So… shall we break them down?”

“Firstly… Sanji!” Vivi wails, throwing her body over the table. “He doesn’t — why does he — isn’t it  _ obvious _ that Law —”

“It seems clear to all of us that Law is actively chasing him, yes,” Robin clarifies as Vivi continues to blubber incoherently. “But you must see from his point of view. Law has been flirting with him since the very beginning — from seemingly out of nowhere. It is no wonder that Sanji might have confused him to simply be a flirt — or at least, to not be entirely sincere in his gestures. After all, this is a dating programme. You never know what kind of people you might run into, no matter how decent they look.”

“And it is clear to everyone that Law is interested in Sanji,” Tashigi points out. “Well, except… Wyper. It seems like Wyper might have thought Law was just flirting for the sake of flirting, too. If you recall, he didn’t seem to entirely agree when Zoro pointed out that  _ Law _ was the one who was interested in Sanji.”

“If even Zoro had noticed, then Law has been as obvious as he can ever be,” Nami nods.

“This must be the reason why Sanji’s been toggling between Coby and Law,” Hancock notes, inclining her head to one side. “He is interested in Law, but he’s not sure if the interest is mutual, and so he wants to keep his options open. Understandable,” she nods.

“It also seems that Kidd is interested in Coby,” Reiju adds. “A little, at the very least. He finds Coby easy to tease — but he also enjoys teasing Coby.”

“Well, today we are taking a break from guessing love signals — I mean, after our disastrous guesses for last week’s, I think we could use it,” Nami chuckles. “But the day’s interactions so far does clear some things up.”

“Like Sanji’s actual feelings towards Law,” Robin nods. “It’s there, like we have all expected — just that he is a little uncertain of it, not just on his end but on Law’s end as well.”

“Don’t you think that Luffy and Sanji’s interaction was adorable?” Nami asks. “Luffy is just… he’s just so pure and wholesome, and he obviously cares a lot for Sanji — and Sanji’s cooking. And it’s sweet how easily he makes that known to Sanji.”

“Sanji even blushed,” Vivi agrees. “He is too weak to compliments!” 

“And perhaps he doesn’t exactly take Law’s words as compliments, if he sees them as Law flirting,” Tashigi says. “Luffy appreciates Sanji so wholeheartedly; it’s so nice to see.”

“Can you imagine if Sanji and Luffy got together?” Nami laughs. “Luffy will be overjoyed. I think he’d be the happiest person on earth. And to be honest? Sanji would probably be happy too. He obviously loves cooking for people and he loves to see people enjoy his food, so Luffy’s the best audience for that.”

“That would be sweet,” Reiju nods.

“I can already see them as an old married couple,” Vivi says, “with Sanji calling Luffy out for breakfast in the mornings and then Luffy bursting out of bed while Sanji just sighs in a way that’s both resigned yet full of love…”

“Unfortunately, Luffy is going on a date with Law instead, and Sanji seems to view Luffy as more of a little brother,” Nami lets out a long sigh. “Luffy and Sanji would have been so wholesome to watch! But like I said…” the corners of her lips tilt, “I’m here for the drama. And Luffy and Law would likely provide just that.”

“Law’s already exasperated with Luffy as it is; I can’t imagine him suffering through a date with him!” Vivi’s eyes crinkle in amusement. “But if Luffy can crack his shell open, I think… I think it could amount to something.”

“Aren’t you shipping Law and Sanji?” Nami teases. Vivi pouts, but then she shakes her head.

“Like what you guys have said earlier before, nothing is set in stone. I shouldn’t be so fixated on one couple — there are so many other possibilities! And all of them could be great!” A grin rises to her lips. “Why have popcorn for only one ship when you can have popcorn for  _ all the ships _ ?”

“That’s the spirit!” Nami cheers, while Robin chuckles.

“Meanwhile, if you look back to Zoro and Wyper’s interaction,” Tashigi pores over her notes. “Well, it does seem like they’ve settled into being good friends. I mean, they are kind of playful with one another, but it seems more friendly than anything so far.”

“I blame Zoro’s first date,” Hancock states. “That was a terrible first date — meant more for making friends than building  _ romance _ .”

“If they had another chance… well actually, no,” Nami frowns. “It’s difficult to leave that friendzone once you’ve settled into it. But if something happens that could spark something between the two of them… like they’ve mentioned on their date, they could be quite a match.”

“Both romantically and physically — and uh,” Vivi flusters when Nami shoots her a sharp grin, “I meant physically as in, in a fighting tournament!”

“We can’t have our dear politician insinuating otherwise,” Nami’s smile is cutting.

“Zoro and Sanji will certainly be something to watch as well,” Robin nods. “That promise that Zoro had made to Wyper… well, I think we all know enough that such promises are made to be fulfilled.”

“That would break up the friendship trio,” Nami says, “but if it brings me the drama and the ratings, I don’t care! Break them all up!” A sudden gasp draws air into her lungs. “Imagine if Sanji and Luffy have a thing, too; and then Zoro and Sanij have a thing. Ooh! A new love triangle! With Sanji at the center,  _ again _ !”

“Poor man,” Vivi chuckles. “Too popular, like what Conis had said.”

“Or Zoro and Luffy could be… intriguing too,” Reiju chimes in. “Zoro would be Luffy’s greatest enabler. It would be… chaotic.”

“Oh right, remember that Zoro had messaged Law…” at Nami’s glower, Tashigi trails off. She gulps. “Um… yeah, let’s… forget he did that.”

“He did that and it came out from nowhere and I will not forget nor forgive it,” Nami states, folding her fingers into a fist. “But let’s talk about it anyway.” She plasters a wide smile over her face. “Tashigi? What did you want to say about it?”

“Uh…” Tashigi’s eyes dart to Vivi. “I….”

“Well,” Vivi tries. “This means that Zoro still has some lingering interest in Law that he hasn’t completely let go of,” she says. “So… you know. If they had a chance… something might happen there too?”

“Certainly,” Robin nods. “I am far more interested to see how Marco might join the mix. So far, he’s already enabled Luffy…”

“Can’t believe he actually used his hair as a pineapple,” Vivi laughs, and with that, the tension in the room dissipates. “That was — if Marco were to replace Sanji as the blond in that friendship trio, I think we’d see disastrous results. We can’t have  _ two _ enablers surrounding Luffy!”

“His personality seems like it’ll mesh well with everyone,” Reiju adds. “Kidd’s also said it: he seems chill and fun enough. Aside from Luffy — which I think would be weird for him to date, considering his history with Luffy’s brother — I think he might work out with most of the others. Which is why it’ll be fun to watch him on his first date with Kidd.”

“It’s sweet that Kidd is planning on carving something for Marco,” Tashigi says, “but wouldn’t that be stepping on Coby a little? Woodcarving could have been his and Coby’s thing — but if he gifted Marco with something, then it might seem to Coby that Kidd has shifted his interest elsewhere entirely.”

“I didn’t think of that…” Vivi frowns. “Yeah… with Coby’s personality, he’d probably assume that to be the case…”

“Maybe it’s Kidd’s way of teasing Coby again,” Nami suggests, shrugging. “I mean, woodcarving is one of Kidd’s charms and he knows it. You can’t just restrict him to using it on one person!”

“Yeah, but…” Vivi sighs. “Oh well. I guess it’s still early. They are still exploring their options, after all. Hopefully this doesn’t ruin things between some of them…”

“Or hopefully it  _ does _ ruin some things and we get to see some chaos,” Nami grins. “Let’s continue with the program!”   
  
  
INT - GRAND LINE APARTMENT   
  
  
“Yeah,” Coby says, leaning on the railing of the balcony as he tilts his ear to his phone. “That sounds great, Helmeppo.”

A set of footsteps from behind him draws his attention, and he turns to see Marco standing on the other side of the sliding doors. “I’ll… uh, call you back,” Coby says, and then ends the call as Marco opens the door.

He pokes his head out, “Care if I join you?”

“S-Sure,” Coby says, making way as Marco steps in and shuts the door behind him. “Uh… what are you doing awake? It’s past midnight.”

“Yesterday’s dinner wrecked my sleep schedule, so,” Marco shrugs. “Slept the entire day away, and now I can’t sleep. How about you?”

“I was talking to my friend,” Coby answers. “Forgot the time, I guess.” He scuffs his shoes against the ground as he finds his next words. “Uh… how do you find it here so far? I mean, I know it’s just been a day — and you slept the day away, as you’ve just said, uh… — forget it, I don’t know what I’m asking —”

“It’s been fun,” Marco intercepts. He smiles when Coby looks his way. “You always this nervous?”

“Sometimes,” Coby admits. “I don’t… I don’t know where I stand with newcomers, so… but everyone’s been really nice, though!” he quickly adds. “I’ve really enjoyed myself.”

“Yeah,” Marco agrees. “They seem friendly enough. I heard you’ve had your first dates already?”

“Yeah,” Coby nods. “It must be weird, to enter halfway into the program… everyone’s already acquainted with one another and we’ve been on dates…”

“Nah, it’s fine,” Marco waves it away. “Makes things more interesting. I think I can pretty much tell some of the relationships in here already.”

“Can you?” Coby tilts his body to Marco. “That’s… impressive. What can you tell?”

“Well, firstly,” Marco returns Coby’s gaze. “Law is interested in Sanji.”

“Uh… huh,” Coby averts his gaze.

“And you probably are too?” Marco continues. Coby draws his chin further into his chest.

“That obvious, huh?”

“Well… that redhead’s teasing made things clear,” Marco shrugs. “And your reaction made things clearer. Is there something between you and Kidd as well?”

“We… went on our first date together…” Coby admits. “Wow, you’re good.”

“It kinda seems like there could be something between Kidd and Law too… and Law doesn’t like Luffy very much,” Marco ponders for a bit, “Zoro and Luffy seem close. Wyper… I’m not too sure about him yet.”

“Oh, I’ll… I’ll be going on my next date with Wyper,” Coby says. “Yeah, it must be confusing for you. So um… Zoro and Sanji will be going on their next date together; Law and Luffy; you and Kidd; and then it’s me and Wyper.”

“Law and Luffy, huh?” Marco raises his brow. “If Luffy’s as energetic as his brother makes him out to be, Law’s in for a treat.”

“Yeah… yeah, he probably is,” Coby chuckles. 

“So… how’s Kidd?” Marco asks. “Not as a date partner for me — but as a date partner for you. I’m new here, so you can say whatever you want,” Marco leans against the wall by the door. “And then I’ll conveniently forget all of it the next day. My brain’s really useful in that way.”

“Um…” Coby shifts his gaze.

“You seem like you have things on your mind,” Marco continues. “I’m not gonna force you, but just saying. You can talk to me.”

“Well…” Coby hesitates. He glances out at the view; the sky is heavy, winter clouds looming. “I, uh… yeah. I suppose.”

Marco tilts his head back, shifting his gaze away from Coby as he waits. A few seconds pass in silence, before Coby finally lets out a sigh.

“Yeah. I… guess. It’s only been a few days, but things have been… confusing,” he begins. He rubs at his arms a little. “Kidd is… great. He’s really nice, and he’s surprisingly easy to talk to. I don’t feel pressured to… to be better than who I am, or to be something I’m not when I’m around him. He looks fierce but he’s actually a really nice guy. I… enjoyed our date. Yeah.”

Marco smiles a little, but doesn’t say a word. A breeze sweeps up against them, and Coby jostles the pink hair off from his eyes. 

“But…” he continues. “Well, you’ve… said it for yourself already. I… um…” a blush crawls up his neck, “I am interested in getting to know Sanji more, but… and I know it’s still early, but… I feel like I’ve lost my chance. If I had Sanji for this second date, then I suppose I still have an opportunity to… get to know him better, but since I don’t, I… think it’ll be harder. And I know it’s not about me, exactly, but… well, it’s fate, isn’t it? And maybe that just means the two of us don’t have that, at least for right now.”

The wind drags the clouds above them; they look full enough to spill.

Coby sighs. “And… I know I’ve already said that this isn’t about me, exactly, but… Law and Sanji look good together. They are both confident, and dignified, and intelligent, and they know what they are doing and they have their lives pulled together. All of them do, in fact — everyone here knows exactly what they like and where they are headed. I feel like… I’m too young. Like I don’t know anything, even though I’m only a year younger than Luffy. Like I can’t keep up.” He shakes his head. “I’m sorry. You’re asking about relationships and I’m here just… telling you about existential crises and whatnot. Everyone’s been reassuring me and all, but it’s just hard not to think this way. They’ve all been kind and helpful and I just feel like I’m a little kid trying to sneak into a bar — and everyone knows it, but they’re just too nice to say so.”

They fall into a moment of silence as Coby tightens his grip around the railing and Marco keeps his eyes fixed on the clouds.

Finally, he answers, “I don’t know you very well. And it’s true, to an old thirty-year-old like me, you’re young and clueless about the world. But what does that matter?” At that, he drops his gaze to meet Coby’s. “You’re searching for yourself. We’re all still finding ourselves. I’m thirty and on this program, just like you’re twenty and you’re here — are you saying that I’m lagging behind, trying to fight with all you twenty-somethings?”

Coby opens his mouth to protest, but the words die away as Marco chuckles.

“Maybe I  _ am _ lagging behind. Like I said, it doesn’t matter. We’re all going at our own pace; we all have our own timings. And that goes for you and your relationships, too; but at least in that, you have a say. You want to get to know Sanji better? Then do it. You don’t have to wait for an official date. You can help him out in the kitchen, meet him after work; lend him a book so that you can exchange thoughts on it. Law’s going about chasing after Sanji in his own way — you can get to know him in your own way too. Maybe you don’t have fate in games of probabilities — but if you really want to hold onto this opportunity, you can make your own chances.” Marco shrugs a little. “You get what I’m saying?”

“I…” Coby swallows. “Yeah, I… I do. Thanks. I just —”

“Yeah, it’s hard being the youngest,” Marco agrees. “Gonna be hard being the oldest too, probably,” he smiles. “But it’ll be fine. This show is about putting yourself out there and venturing out of your comfort zone, trying new things. You might find someone at the end of it; you might not. The only thing you can choose is what you gain out of it, whether it’s experience or friends or… getting to know yourself better. Just being here takes a lot of courage,” Marco rests a hand on Coby’s shoulder. “You’re doing good, kid.”

Coby drops his head again, the blush spreading to his ears. “Uh… thank… thank you, Marco…”

“Anyway, looks like it’s gonna rain,” Marco indicates the sky. “Shall we go back in?”

“Alright,” Coby nods, and the two of them make their way back in. Just before they enter their room, Coby glances up at Marco. “Marco?”

“Yeah?” Marco stops at the door.

“I… really appreciated that.” 

Marco grins. “No problemo. Now, if I so happen to take interest in Kidd or Sanji…”

“H-Huh?” Coby blinks.

“I mean, there could be a chance,” Marco shrugs. “But if that happens, we’re gonna be rivals. So to preserve the purity of our conversation, I’ll be deleting it from my memory. Alright?”

Coby blinks once more, then twice. Then a small smile sprouts up his lips. “Alright,” he nods. 

Marco presses his fingers to his temple, and then twists them. When he’s done, he blinks down at Coby. “Deleted. Now… what were we talking about?” 

Coby stifles a chuckle. “Nothing — nothing. Go to bed… old man.”

“Yeah I will, kiddo,” Marco smiles in return.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just like all reality tv shows, this fic is meant to have a chapter right at the end of the show that shows the reunion special - which would of course mention audience reaction to the show and pairings at the end of it all. with that in mind, i was considering making a discord server for this to kinda create a community for it like how there are communities for reality shows so as to also gather reactions?? i guess??? or it could just be a one piece discord server too, idk. i mean, i could just use the comments on this fic as well, but i just thought i'd bounce this idea off y'all since it would literally involve all of you lol, so let me know what you think! 
> 
> (i also have never managed a discord server before but that's a thing for another day) 
> 
> i also definitely have thoughts on writing drabbles based on this universe (where it won't just be observational anymore!! and we can see into some of their thoughts!!) but not before this fic is over, because now it's meant to be purely observational and we can't spoil that!
> 
> anyway, thank you for reading once again! this chapter was a little delayed because i, uh... decided to write a short little zosan thing that i'll be posting when it's closer to xmas, so i guess y'all can look out for it!


	8. outside perspectives

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 12k words for my long absence! i've literally not touched this fic since dec because things have been busy, but here i am now! unfortunately, the second dates are NOT in this chapter -- but they'll be in the next chapter, i swear! 
> 
> thank you so much for all your lovely comments, i really appreciate them all! you guys give me so much joy and it's been such fun writing this fic! just a note though, please remember that all the opinions that the girls have are their own -- they might mean something, they might not. just like all of our perspectives, it just comes from what they think is happening on the show! like personally, zoro and wyper seem to Have A Thing, but the girls on the panel do not seem to agree.
> 
> once again, this is fresh from my mind and not beta'd. enjoy the chapter!

**chapter eight: outside perspectives**

INT - GRAND LINE APARTMENT

A light flickers on as someone makes his way down to the kitchen. It is 8 a.m.; on the coffee table there’s a little note:

_ back by 10! - luffy _

A head of blond dips as he picks the note up, and then he shakes his head and returns it back to where it had been shoved under a coaster.

“Really,” Marco says. He makes his way to the coffee machine, where a steaming pot of coffee has already been prepared. He helps himself to a cup and makes his way to the balcony, though he doesn’t open the door to head outside. Instead, he merely watches the view through the glass, spectacles perched low on his nose, mop of blond a mess on his head.

The doorbell rings. Marco turns and stares at the empty stairwell for a moment, before placing his mug on the coffee table and heading downstairs. He rests his hand on the handle for a second before pushing it down.

“Hello!” the person outside says, grinning. He has wavy blond hair and wide eyes, though a scar blossoms over his left. He taps his walking stick against the ground. “May I come in?”

“Who are you?” Marco asks, slotting his body through the opening in the door. 

“Let me guess…” the stranger says, tilting his head. “Blond hair… are you Sanji?”

“No…” Marco frowns. “Do you know someone from here?”

“Well, yeah,” the stranger’s smile widens as he holds up one hand. “I’m Luffy’s brother.”

_ “What?” _ Nami gasps.  _ “Who’s this — this isn’t Ace, we’ve seen Ace…” _

_ “Didn’t Luffy have another brother?” _ Vivi presses her lips together.  _ “Uh… it starts with an ‘S’...” _

“… Sabo?” Marco blinks.

_ “Sabo!” _ Vivi announces, a millisecond late. 

“I see you’ve heard about me,” Sabo nods. “If you’re not Sanji, then who are you? Luffy’s only mentioned one blond.”

“I’ve only just arrived, so he probably hasn’t mentioned me yet,” Marco returns Sabo’s smile. “I’m Marco.”

“Marco…” Sabo drums his fingers along his walking stick, gaze dipping as he contemplates. “Where have I heard that name before…”

_ “Uh oh…” _ Vivi says.

_ “He… probably knows,”  _ Tashigi agrees.

When it hits, Sabo’s eyes widen a fraction. And then he lifts his head back up, smile disappearing. “As in… The Phoenix? The Very-Cute-Veterinary-Student Marco,  _ The Phoenix _ ?”

“Yup, that’s me,” Marco rubs the back of his neck. “Well, I guess. The Phoenix was an old nickname back in university…”

“Ace’s  _ ex _ , Marco?” Sabo continues, eyes slowly bulging.  _ “ _ Marco — who’s on a dating reality program with Luffy, Ace’s  _ brother _ — Marco _?” _

“No matter how many times you say it, that’s still my name,” Marco shrugs. At the vein pulsing in Sabo’s temple, Marco holds up his hands. “Wait — look. I didn’t know Luffy was going to be here!”

“Ace’s  _ first ever proper boyfriend _ — Marco?” Sabo’s eyes are so large, they look like they might pop out of their sockets. Marco takes a step back.

“Now, now… uh…” Marco glances over his shoulder, back into the apartment, but there’s no one else there. “I…” 

“Man, I can’t believe I’ve finally gotten the chance to meet you!” At Sabo’s sudden burst of laughter, Marco freezes by the door. He blinks.

“Uh…?”

“I was out of town when you guys were dating, but when I got back and saw Ace’s results — man, somehow you got him to  _ study _ ! He never had better results than what he had achieved in that semester,” Sabo shakes his head a little, still chuckling. “Also, it’s cold outside — could I come in?”

“Oh, yeah,” Marco nudges the door wider, “Yeah, sure. Luffy’s not in, though,” he says, as Sabo steps through the threshold and pushes his feet off his boots.

“I know,” Sabo says, slipping into a pair of slippers. “I’m here to get insider information,” he adds, lips peeling into a grin. 

“Like I said, I just got here so I don’t know that many details,” Marco shrugs as Sabo glances around the apartment. “Everyone else is still asleep, I think — Sanji might be out; there’s a fresh pot of coffee sitting in the kitchen.”

“I’d have liked to meet Sanji,” Sabo comments, peering at the plants in the mini indoor garden. “The way Luffy goes on and on about his food…”

“Haven’t tried that much of it yet, but from what I’ve tasted? Yeah, it’s good,” Marco agrees. 

“I gotta say, of everyone I was expecting to meet — you were not one of them,” Sabo continues, inclining his head to look up the stairs. “You and Ace dated for what — a couple months?”

“About three months,” Marco nods. “Yeah. He’s a great guy — was really popular at school too. Dunno how I ended up with him, honestly.”

“Ace has weird taste,” Sabo agrees. “Can’t tell who he’d pick at a bar — speaking of which,” Sabo sidles up to Marco. “You have any idea what Luffy's taste is yet? He is an even bigger enigma than Ace.”

“Nah,” Marco says. “Only know he’s gonna go on a date with this fella called Law.”

“Law?” Sabo raises a brow. “I haven’t heard of any ‘Law’.”

“I think he refers to him by some other name…” Marco frowns for a bit, but then drops it almost immediately after. “Nah. Don’t remember what it is.”

“Hm… you said you just got here,” Sabo sits himself on the sofa in the first-storey living room, and Marco settles himself beside him. “When?”

“Uh… Yesterday,” he pauses. “Well, actually past midnight on the 25th, but that’s basically yesterday. They were all drinking when I arrived, and then I slept most of the day away after. Only really met them during last night’s dinner, so it’s not surprising that Luffy hasn’t mentioned me.”

“Hold on,” Sabo says. His eyes are glittering. He leans in, “You’re telling me that you’ve only met the rest while they were in various states of inebriation — and then you’ve only had one proper meal with them last night and nothing more?”

“Yeah…” Marco leans away. “I know that look,” he says carefully, lowering his brows. “You’re up to something.”

“Hm,” Sabo drums his fingers against his thigh this time, walking stick having been left by the door. “I do have something in mind…”

EXT - STREET; INT - GRAND LINE APARTMENT

“Thanks,” Law says, taking the styrofoam cup from Sanji. The sky is getting lighter now, and when Law looks up, a ribbon of light dances across his cheeks. “We should probably get back soon.”

“Yeah,” Sanji says, bringing his lighter to the tip of his cigarette. “How much sleep did you get last night?” he asks. Law glances over at him.

“The usual,” Law says, pausing with his lips hovering above the lid of the cup. “Not much,” he admits. “Once again, thanks for agreeing to come out with me.”

“I offered, didn’t I?” Sanji smiles around his cigarette. “Did your father like your gift? You woke up early on Christmas to surprise him, right?”

_ “Sanji remembers!” _ Vivi cooes.

Law raises both eyebrows in surprise, then lowers his hand back to his side. “I haven’t actually called him yet. I should do that, but Christmas was… hectic,” he shakes his head a little. “He’s gonna be annoyed.”

“Yeah,” Sanji chuckles. “Luffy and his incredible ideas. I still don’t know why I went along with it.” 

“And your thigh-high stockings,” Law comments, a smile curling up the corners of his lips. “That was — a sight. Not an unwelcome one, but… a sight nonetheless.”

_ “Not an unwelcome one,” _ Nami laughs.  _ “Please! Could he be any more obvious?” _

“I-I…” Sanji sputters once again, cheeks rapidly turning red. “Zoro was Peter Pan!”

“Peter Pan made sense,” Law shrugs. “How did you even get your hands on those outfits anyway?”

“Luffy and his weird friends,” Sanji grumbles under his breath, taking a few hurried puffs on his cigarette. “Don’t ask me.  _ You’re _ the one going on a date with him next.”

With that, the smile drops from Law’s face. His brows lower; he brings his cup to his lips once again. “Don’t remind me,” he says, before taking a long sip. “I’d far prefer to take Peter Pan out on a date.”

“Huh? The marimo?” Sanji repeats, the smoke slipping out from his mouth as his jaw drops. “You’re interested in that brute?”

“Anyone outside of Luffy, really,” Law answers. He tilts his head to regard Sanji. “Why? Are you jealous?”

“Like I will be jealous of a  _ plant _ ,” Sanji replies instead, stubbing his cigarette out on the ground. 

_ “Oh no,” _ Vivi comments.  _ “I know Law was just teasing — but knowing now how Sanji thinks about Law’s interactions with him so far, I don’t think that was the right move.” _

“ _ You’ll _ be going out with the plant,” Law offers, taking another sip from his cup. “How do you feel?”

“Anyone outside of the marimo,” Sanji says, repeating Law’s sentiment from before. “I’d offer to swap, but I know how Luffy would react to that.”

“Hm?” 

“Luffy apparently takes these games really seriously,” Sanji adds. “You might want to watch your words when you’re with him. Don’t make promises you aren’t ready to keep — Luffy’s like a child in that way.”

“I won’t,” Law assures. They walk in silence for a moment, people slowly slipping out from their abodes to shovel snow from driveways or to enjoy a hot mug of tea in the early dawn. By the entrance of a park, Law comes to a stop. “Sanji,” he says.

Sanji turns to look at him. “Yeah?”

“Maybe we could do something together again… after our next dates,” Law smiles a little, and the light catches his hair. “I could use something to look forward to.”

_ “Ahhh!!!!”  _ Vivi screams.

_ “Oh my…” _ Robin smiles.

_ “Sanji, Sanji, Sanji,” _ Nami shakes her head, chuckling.  _ “How can you still not see it when it’s so obvious?” _

“I…” Sanji blinks a little. “I guess… yeah,” he finally says. “Yeah. We could do something together.” At Law’s widening smile, he adds, “Maybe.”

“Maybe?” Law repeats.

“If Luffy doesn’t throw you into your grave first,” Sanji grins. “Or the marimo to mine. Who knows?” 

They continue walking, and in no time at all they arrive back at the apartment. They open the door, to a flurry of voices above their heads.

“Guess everyone’s awake,” Law notes, slipping into his house slippers as Sanji does the same beside him. “It is…” he checks his phone, “Half past nine.”

“They’re noisy,” Sanji frowns. “They shouldn’t be this noisy, especially if Luffy’s out.”

“Should we head back out?” Law suggests, his lips thinning as he glances up the stairwell. Sanji shakes his head.

“Come on, you grump.” He takes a few steps forward, but turns around when Law doesn’t follow after. He lets out a sigh as he rolls his eyes. “Let’s go up,” Sanji says, reaching out and wrapping his fingers around Law’s sleeve. “Come on,” he gives it a little tug.

Law follows after, dragging his heels a little as he walks behind Sanji, still being tugged by the sleeve. When they reach the second storey, all eyes look their way.

“Sanji, Law!” Coby greets, when his gaze dips to Sanji’s fingers wrapped around Law’s coat sleeve. “Uh…” he looks back up, “oh, right! Um…” He glances at someone seated on the end of the sofa. The person has his back facing Sanji and Law. “Marco — I mean, uh… well, he  _ says _ he’s —”

“This dude claims he’s Marco,” Kidd interrupts, gesturing towards the blond seated on the sofa. “I don’t have the best memory for faces, but I sure as hell know that Marco doesn’t have a scar over his eye.”

“I was wearing my spectacles; perhaps you just hadn’t noticed?” the person suggests. He turns around and grins at Law and Sanji. “Hi Sanji, hi… Law.”

“Uh…” Sanji blinks. He has released his grip on Law’s coat sleeve, and he leans a little to Law as he stares at the wavy-haired blond grinning up at them. “That… isn’t Marco, is it?”

Law peruses the man for a while. “I don’t exactly recall.”

_ “Oh my god!”  _ Nami screeches.  _ “Isn’t that…” _

_ “Sabo?” _ Vivi continues.  _ “Is he pretending to be Marco? Then where has the real Marco gone?” _

_ “My, my,”  _ Robin chuckles.  _ “I would love to see all three brothers together in the same room. That would certainly be… engaging.” _

“I know I’m new here,” Sabo continues, “and I came into the apartment when you all were in various states of inebriation — but it’s a little rude to have completely forgotten how I look, don’t you think?” Sabo’s eyes widen as he stares at Law and Sanji. “You guys recognise me, don’t you?”

“Uh…” Sanji’s gaze drifts behind, darting from the absolute confusion on Coby’s face to the impassive expression on Zoro’s. 

“Yeah, you could be Marco,” Zoro accedes, folding his arms across his chest. “Same blond hair.”

“Not everyone who is blond looks the same,” Wyper supplies, frowning a little as he regards Sabo. “But yeah. Possibly. Only really saw you at night — you look different without your specs.”

“Do I look better now?” Sabo probes, grin widening.

“Different vibes,” Wyper shrugs. “Your hair looks longer.”

“That’s because I had it gelled before,” Sabo replies. “I just woke up — this is my natural state.”

“I don’t believe this,” Kidd rises to his feet. He indicates Law and Sanji, “Y’all see this dude? He’s obviously not the same person, right? I don’t know what sort of prank this is, but I woke up to this blond stranger sitting at the dining table and telling me he enjoyed dinner last night. Honestly, what the fuck?”

“Maybe it’s Luffy?” Coby suggests. “Luffy isn’t in. Could this be one of his jokes… like with the, uh… Christmas thing?” Coby glances at Sanji and Zoro. 

“Could be,” Sanji agrees, still staring at Sabo. “But this time, I’m not in on it.”

“Neither am I,” Zoro grunts. “Why would Luffy bring an actor to replace Marco anyway?”

“Well, Marco dated his brother, right?” Wyper chimes in. “Maybe he didn’t like it. Maybe he got rid of him.”

“Hm,” Law says. “And yet none of us had heard anything in the night. I highly doubt Luffy has the ability to sneak around like that. He has to have done it before three, because I was awake by then.”

“Guys,” Sabo drops his smile, now knitting his brows together into a frown as he glances between them. “I thought you were joking. You really don’t recognise me?? I’m Marco! I came here the night of Christmas — well, on the 26th to be exact. Saw Luffy, got a shock. Played a pineapple. Don’t you remember?”

“Yeah — the memories, not the person,” Kidd narrows his eyes. 

“Um… M-Marco,” Coby pipes up. “Then do you remember what you were doing… last night?”

“Last night?” Sabo rubs at his chin. “I don’t recall anything.” The glint of his eyes seem to say something else, and Coby swallows his saliva.

“Ah, yeah… that’s right.”

_ “Marco — the real Marco — did say he’d pretend that their midnight conversation never happened, _ ” Tashigi supplies.

“I guess… I don’t know,” Coby continues, rubbing the back of his neck. “Maybe we had drunk too much? Some people really do look different with and without their glasses.”

“Like that dude from Monsters Inc.,” Zoro agrees. “That slimy dude. The bad guy. He only looks evil because he squints without his specs.”

“Yeah…” Coby nods slowly.

“I can accept that,” Wyper says. “It was late. We had been drinking. I don’t even really remember how he looks anyway.”

“Are you kidding me?” Kidd points at the scar over Sabo’s left eye. “How about the scar?”

“Like he said — hidden by the specs. And his hair,” Zoro shrugs.

“Law? Sanji?” Kidd turns to them once more. “I can’t be the only one seeing this?”

“He could be Marco,” Law shrugs, moving to take a seat beside Sabo. “It doesn’t matter too much to me.”

“What do you mean  _ it doesn’t matter _ —”

“Look,” Sanji says. “If it’s a prank, Luffy will bumble in here cackling sooner or later. Just let it be.” He takes a few steps forward and sits by the foot of the sofa. “If this guy wants to be Marco, go ahead. It’s his misfortune — he has to go on a date with you.”

“I — wait, what?” Kidd’s brows have disappeared into his hair. “Wait, actually…” Kidd pauses. He peers at Sabo for a second. “Well, actually. Yeah. You don’t look half bad. I don’t mind going on a date with you.” He folds his arms across his chest and leans back onto the cushion. “Yeah. Sure. You’re Marco.”

“Thanks for finally acknowledging me, I guess?” Sabo says, forcing an awkward smile on his face.

“Never knew you were such a slut for looks,” Zoro jabs at Kidd’s side. 

“Not all looks,” Kidd grins back.

_ “Poor Marco…” _ Vivi says.

_ “Marco isn’t bad-looking,”  _ Nami agrees,  _ “but you gotta admit — Sabo gives him a run for his money. Either Ace or Sabo could replace Luffy and I’d have no complaints.” _

“So, what were you two lovebirds up to so early in the morning?” Kidd teases, throwing Law a smirk. 

Law shoots back with an equally smug grin. “Fuck off,” he says, without bite. “The morning was nice. We took a walk. Came back to this mess — but that’s nothing out of the ordinary.” 

“Law,” Sabo begins. “You’re going on a date with… Luffy next, right?”

_ “Right,” _ Tashigi notes.  _ “Sabo doesn’t know who Law is — he probably knows him by ‘Torao’, or something, so he’s trying to sort things out.” _

“Yeah,” Law answers. “Why? You wanna swap?”

“Nah, I’m good with this dude here,” Sabo nods at Kidd, who shoots him a wink. 

_ “Ew,” _ Hancock scrunches her nose. 

“What does he call you again?” Sabo continues, frowning. “I vaguely recall it being…”

“Don’t even mention it,” Law warns, but Zoro pipes up.

“ _ Torao,” _ Zoro smirks at Law. “Yeah. You’ve already got a cute pet name from him; you should return the favour in kind.”

“Luffy also has a pet name for Kidd,” Law quips. “And I think I can speak for the both of us when I say that these two names are entirely uncalled for and unwanted.”

“How are all of you planning on going about your dates?” Sabo asks, leaning back onto the cushion and crossing his legs. “I’m new here — need some insights.”

Zoro glances at Sanji, “I dunno. Sanji will do the planning.”

“What? Since when?” Sanji argues back. Zoro looks ready to reply, but Sanji frowns. “Actually… I guess if I don’t want to be dragged into some  _ dojo _ for a sparring match as a date, I  _ should _ be the one to plan it…”

“I rest my case,” Zoro answers as Sanji rolls his eyes.

“I just don’t want to waste my time doing stupid muscle-headed brute activities when I could force you to accompany me to do something I like,” Sanji retorts.

“I enjoyed it,” Wyper shrugs. 

“Well, you made Luffy clean up the beach,” Kidd points out.

“Hm…” Law muses. “Perhaps I could get Luffy to do some work for me as well…”

_ “He really shouldn’t say that in front of his date’s brother…” _ Vivi says.

“Luffy is a bundle of energy — um, I mean, he  _ seems _ like he has too much energy — so you could totally channel it to some useful cause instead of him wreaking havoc on the general populace,” Sabo agrees.

Vivi’s jaw drops, and Nami laughs.  _ “I like Luffy’s brothers.” _

“You seem extremely interested in Luffy,” Sanji raises his brows. Something seems to click in his head as his eyes slowly widen. He glances at Law, “Didn’t Luffy say he has brothers?”

“I do recall something of that nature,” Law nods, turning to regard Sabo levelly. “He does not resemble Luffy in the slightest, however.”

“Well… Luffy has weird friends too,” Sanji comments, and Zoro nods.

“We’ve seen that,” Zoro agrees. 

“Now that you mention it… it does seem more plausible than Marco’s appearance simply changing overnight,” Coby pipes up. “But… why would he choose to replace Marco, of all people?”

“Y’all are finally admitting that there’s something fishy about this situation, huh?” Kidd grumbles slightly under his breath. “Probably ‘cuz Marco’s the newest here,” he answers.

“Or…” Sanji’s eyes grow bigger, and his brows draw together as he leans towards Sabo. “Hadn’t Marco dated one of Luffy’s brothers? Like what Wyper had said — could that brother have gotten rid of Marco and the person sitting in front of us now is…” 

“... Ace?” Coby tries.

_ “So close!” _ Vivi sighs.

_ “If only,” _ Nami agrees.

_ “The two of you are so mean towards Luffy!” _ Tashigi comments.

Kidd stares at Sabo for a moment, before shaking his head. “Nah. He doesn’t look like an ‘Ace’. It could be the other brother — uh, what’s his name again?”

“He’s not Ace,” Wyper contributes. “I’ve seen Ace at my matches — this isn’t him.”

Just at that moment, the front door bursts open. They barely have time to whip their heads to the stairwell when Luffy bounds up the steps. The man stops at the last step, smile expanding into a grin as he stares at all of them, gathered around the coffee table.

“Oh hey guys! You are all here. That’s great — let’s go!”

“Let’s go…  _ where _ ?” Law asks.

Luffy is bouncing on his feet. “I got this friend who offered this place to us — anyway, it’s gonna be so fun! We’re gonna be running and shooting and fighting and —” Luffy’s gaze shifts to Sabo, who’s looking at him with a wide grin on his face. Luffy’s jaw drops. “Sabo?”

“Sabo!” Kidd smacks his fist into his palm. “That’s the other brother’s name!”

“Hey, Luffy,” Sabo greets, opening his arms just in time for Luffy to barrel right into them. Law hastily gets up from his seat as Luffy crashes into the couch, while an  _ oof _ slips out of Sabo’s mouth from the impact.

“That begs the question,” Wyper comments. “Where  _ is _ Marco?”

“Hey,” Marco says, emerging from the laundry room beside the kitchen. “Sorry ‘bout that — you just can’t say ‘no’ to those brothers.”

“I can imagine,” Sanji nods. 

“Glad to know that all of you are ready to replace me at a moment’s notice, though,” Marco continues. Coby scuffs his slippers against the floor, rubbing the back of his neck with a hand, while Kidd just laughs.

“Well, like Zoro here said — I’m a slut for looks,” Kidd cackles.

“What are you doing here?” Luffy asks. 

“Well, you know,” Sabo shrugs. “Just wanted to see where you live, who you’re living with…”

“Hm?” Luffy frowns. “I told you about them on the phone. They’re cool, right? Look at his hair!” Luffy points at Kidd’s hair, “and look at those tattoos!” he gestures to the spiral of inks around Wyper’s arm. “They are so cool — you’ll like them!” His eyes bulge, and he glances up at the clock. “Right! Guys, we gotta go!” Luffy vaults over the couch back to the stairwell. “Grab your stuff — we’ll meet downstairs in five! And Sabo! You can come along too!”

“I might need a back-up for this…” Sabo says under his breath, whipping out his phone.

“Do we have to go? Where are we even going?” Law asks, and Zoro shrugs.

“Have nothing planned anyway,” he states, getting up from his couch. “And if Luffy’s the one who’s planned it — it’s gonna be fun.”

“Or mortifying,” Law adds.

“Yeah, I’ve got nothing planned so I’m up for it,” Kidd says, as Wyper gets up from his seat.

“Luffy’s pretty nice,” Wyper comments. “Well. Until he forces you to descend into freezing water. But if I’ve lived through that, I can live through anything else.” 

“I… I guess I will join in,” Coby agrees. “It could be fun?”

“I have to join,” Marco answers. “Gotta cement my presence here in some way or another.”

“Sanji?” Law asks. “Surely you’re not charging straight into the fray as well?”

“Well,” Sanji shrugs. “Like you said, it could be fun — or mortifying. You gotta be there to know which it might be.”

“Ugh,” Law rubs at his temples. “Fine.  _ Fine. _ All of you are such enablers.”

INT - WAREHOUSE

“So…” Law glances out the door. “Paintball.”

“Yup!” A heavy-set man with brilliant blue hair stands in front of them, holding a paintball gun in his hand. “I take it you are Luffy’s friends?”

“Yeah, they’re from the apartment. They’re cool,” Luffy nods. 

“And I’m Sabo,” Sabo clarifies, but the blue-haired man doesn’t seem to have heard him. Instead, the man takes a step forward and scans through them.

“Okay, there’s nine of you, so one of you has to step out —”

“That’ll be me,” Sabo raises his hand. “I’m not playing.”

“You scared?” Kidd taunts, and Luffy laughs.

“Sabo is amazing! I’ve never won against him before!”

“I can’t imagine Luffy being sneaky enough to win, at any rate,” Sanji comments, “And his brother looks like he has a good head on him.”

“Alright then, that’s  _ super _ amazing! I’m General Franky — you can just call me Franky for short. This is a serious game. Now, there’s no shame in stepping out if you’re afraid; if you cannot take the gunfire, it is better for you to stay away. I’m giving you one last chance: are you ready for this?”

No one steps away. Coby tightens his fists by his side.

“Okay then, that’s great! I don’t want to hear any whining from any of you, alright? If you just listen to the instructions, you will have a  _ super _ great time, I promise you that! So now, we’re going to learn how to use the equipment.”

Franky goes on to teach them how to use their equipment before he chases them away to get dressed in the appropriate gear. By the time they get back, it is nearly midday. The sun outside is blazing, and the traces of snow left from the previous night glistens almost blindingly.

“We got to split you into teams,” Franky announces. “I have a list of names here, and the first four names I pick out will form Group A — the rest will be in Group B.” He moves to a box and sticks his hand in. “Zoro, Kidd, Law, and Luffy,” he announces.

Sanji looks over. “Guess that’s the rest of us, then,” he says. Coby nods, and the four of them gather to another side. 

“What we’ll be playing today is Capture The Flag. Very straightforward, but doesn’t mean it’s easy. If you get shot thrice, you’re out. Whoever catches the other team’s flag first wins. Team A will have the red flag — Team B has the blue. I’ll give you ten minutes to strategise before we start the game, starting from… now!”

“What’s there to discuss?” Zoro leans against the wall and cocks a brow up. “We shoot whoever we see and we grab the flag. That’s easy.”

“Yeah,” Kidd snorts. “Whoever gets into my line of fire is gonna regret their entire existence.”

“Yeah! We just shoot and grab the flag!” Luffy bobs his head enthusiastically, sticking his head out of the door to peek at the battlefield. “We’re red, right? Our flag is on that far end!”

Law lets out a heavy sigh. “Simply being grouped together with this bunch of muscleheads makes me regret my entire existence.”

_ “Poor Law,” _ Vivi agrees.  _ “Franky really somehow managed to group all the um… battle-ready ones together, hasn’t he?” _

_ “Leaving all the strategic ones to the other group,”  _ Reiju nods.  _ “I can feel Law’s exhaustion from here, and I don’t blame him. I highly doubt he’d be able to control that group of men.” _

_ “I don’t even think he wants to,” _ Nami laughs.  _ “But on the other hand — Coby and Sanji are together! And Wyper — Coby’s future date — and Marco, the person Coby has spilled his heart to. This will be interesting!” _

_ “Shall we make a little wager?” _ Robin’s lips curl slightly.  _ “Who do you think would win?” _

_ “Sanji’s group, hands down,” _ Nami asserts.

_ “I would vote for their team too,”  _ Hancock pipes up.  _ “But you cannot ignore the sheer… might of men who have nothing in their minds but blood and carnage. Zoro and Kidd and Luffy altogether in one group is… a distressing thought.” _

_ “So you’re actually voting for the muscleheads?” _ Nami widens her eyes, and Hancock shrugs.

_ “Seems like a plausible choice.” _

_ “I would say…” _ Tashigi frowns.  _ “Law seems like he could be a great strategist, but likewise, I can’t imagine the rest of his team listening to him — especially not Luffy or Kidd. But if he goes about his own way, he might just get the flag…” _

_ “While sacrificing the rest of his team in return,”  _ Reiju nods.  _ “I agree. I think my vote would be on them too.” _

_ “You’re assuming that Law would care enough to try to win,”  _ Hancock answers.

_ “... Fair point,”  _ Tashigi says.  _ “But I’d like for them to win anyway. They seem like the underdogs in this situation, because they’re all brute strength and no brain.” _

_ “I’d like for Sanji’s team to win…” _ Vivi finally comments. Nami raises her brow.

_ “You just want Coby to finally make a move on Sanji, don’t you?” _ Nami grins, and Vivi blushes.

_ “I mean! Law and Sanji have been adorable so far, but after that midnight talk with Marco… Coby definitely needs a chance to prove himself! If, after all of that, Sanji still chooses Law — then well, at least Coby’s had a fair chance!” _ Vivi answers.  _ “So… yes. I want them to win.” _

_ “How about you, Robin?”  _ Nami asks. 

_ “I’d… go for a draw,”  _ Robin states. Nami raises her brow.

_ “That’s cheating!” _

_ “Well,”  _ Robin smiles.  _ “We’ll watch on to find out.” _

“So,” Marco rubs at the bottom of his chin. “That team is filled with muscleheads.”

“You got it,” Sanji nods.

“But Law seems intelligent,” Marco continues, and Sanji nods again. “Unless,” Marco looks at Sanji. “We can disrupt him a little.”

Sanji snorts. “Me? Please.”

“Why not?” Marco raises his brow. 

“I’m fast and strong. I’m not going to play the role of a ‘honey trap’,” Sanji answers. “Don’t insult me like that.”

“My bad,” Marco relents, raising both hands up. “Didn’t mean it that way.”

“Guys…” Coby pipes up, and Marco and Sanji turn to look at him. At that, he swallows thickly before taking a breath. “We need a strategy. Kidd, Zoro, and Luffy are definitely the sort who’d charge forward, guns blasting — and even if they seem like they might be haphazard about it, we have Zoro — who does  _ kendo _ — and Law, who uses a  _ nodachi _ as well. Those sports require great focus, so we cannot assume that just because they’re all brute strength, they won’t get any hits on us.”

_ “Yes, Coby! Go!” _ Vivi cheers.

“True,” Wyper nods. “I’ve seen Zoro at practice — he’s good. On their end, they’d likely assume that I’ll be the main attacker… but we have Coby here, a police cadet.” Wyper glances over at Coby. “You know how to shoot a gun?”

“Y-Yeah…” Coby nods slowly. “No — yeah,” he affirms. “I do. We’ve done a lot of Capture The Flag activities in our training. I… I was the leader of my team, once.”

“Then you should be leader again,” Marco offers, meeting Coby’s gaze with a warm smile. “You can do it, kiddo. Let’s go — tell us what we need to do.”

Coby blinks. “Uh… Um. Yeah. Yeah. Let me think about this…” He glances at the other team. Luffy is happily chatting to Franky about something, while Kidd and Zoro inspect their guns idly. Law stands somewhat away from them, glancing out at the field. “They don’t seem to have a plan, but with their strong vanguard, they’d break into our territory easily. We will need a strong defense.”

“I can do that,” Marco shrugs. “They won’t get past me.”

“Me too,” Sanji offers. 

“I am pretty good at shooting, so…” Coby fumbles a little with his gun. “As long as none of them get close enough to distract me, I’ll be able to shoot them down with no problem. Marco, Sanji — your defense is mainly to pull their attention away from me. Shoot at them, dart about — anything.”

“Got it,” Marco nods.

“I can do that,” Sanji agrees.

“So that will leave Wyper,” Coby looks up at the taller man. “You’ll have to charge through the fray to grab their flag. Can you do that?”

His eyes glitter as a grin slithers up his lips. “Leave that to me.”

“Luffy can be unpredictable,” Coby says. “And Zoro and Kidd are strong. None of us know what Law might do either — if he’ll actively participate or not — so we have to keep eyes on him wherever he is.”

“Guys!” Luffy waves from the other side. “We just thought about it: the losing team should have to do something for the winning team!”

Coby glances over at them, and Sanji responds, “What are you thinking?”

“I was thinking of a huge meat buffet — ”

“We were thinking,” Kidd butts in. “If your team loses, all of you gotta go on Luffy’s YouTube channel.”

Luffy’s jaw drops. “That’s a great idea, Jaggy!”

“And what if we win?” Sanji counters.

“Then  _ we _ will go on his stupid YouTube channel,” Zoro answers.

“... Isn’t that a ‘win’ for Luffy, regardless?” Marco asks.

“How about it?” Sanji asks. “I don’t mind giving Luffy a ‘win’ either way — but I would  _ love  _ to see Law’s expression if they lose.”

“Zoro would not be happy with it either,” Wyper agrees. 

“I… I guess that’s okay,” Coby nods.

“If y’all are fine with it, then it’s fine by me,” Marco agrees. 

“Alright then!” Sanji answers. “We’ll take that.”

“Are you ready?” Franky asks, stepping in-between both groups. At their nods, he grins. “Then let us begin.”

  
  
  


EXT - FIELD

Zoro mimes a sword slicing across neck, while Wyper responds with an air gun pointed Zoro’s way. Kidd wiggles his brows at Coby, and Coby busies himself checking his gun. Law sighs while Sanji chuckles. Luffy beams and Marco returns his grin.

“Alright… we are beginning in 3…” Franky looks both ways. “2…” he holds up his airhorn. “1 — let’s go!” A shriek blasts from the horn, and the blue-haired man steps away as the battle begins.

Coby hides behind the nearest wall as Sanji and Marco flank his sides, while Wyper dodges behind a barrel further away. From their vantage point, they can see Kidd’s vivid red hair sticking out from behind a wall, but other than that, his body is completely tucked behind the layers of red brick.

Until the nozzle of his paintball gun peeks out from the side. Coby whips his head to Sanji, who nods. 

Sanji fires at the ground beneath the exposed gun, while Marco rises and fires at Zoro, who has emerged from a bush somewhere in front of him. Zoro dodges in time, and the paint bursts onto the trunk of a tree behind him. 

Kidd has tucked his gun back behind the wall, and Sanji narrows his gaze as he waits. 

The flap of sandals against grass hits their ears, and Sanji and Marco whirl around in time to aim their guns at Luffy, who is weaving between the walls and bushes and various other hiding spots with so much ease, it’s nearly impossible to catch him.

“Shoot!” Coby commands, and the blonds abide; their paint splashes against the wall and the grass and once, right beside Luffy’s sandals, but none actually land on Luffy. In retaliation, Luffy raises his gun and begins shooting haphazardly. 

“He’s moving in on us,” Marco states. Sanji takes a breath.

“Knew that boy has too much energy for his own good,” Sanji hisses, reloading his gun. “We should split up.” Still, he looks to Coby.

Coby nods. “Be careful,” he says. “I haven’t seen Law anywhere, so he might be after the flag; and Kidd has surprisingly kept himself hidden.”

On the other end, Kidd growls at the puddle of yellow by his feet. “That was close,” he says. 

“You’re an idiot,” Law states calmly from behind him. 

“Like  _ you’re _ doing any better!”

“You are directly in their line of sight; you should know better than to reveal your position like that. And…” Law presses his lips together.

“What?” Kidd demands.

“They weren’t aiming at you,” Law considers. “Whoever it was that had just attacked, they aimed at the grass and not you. There is a strategy at play here.”

“Is it a distraction?” Kidd raises his brows, and Law shrugs.

“Perhaps. Now that Luffy and Zoro have charged into the fray, you would do well to hide under their gunfire.”

“I don’t need their protection! And why the hell do I have to take orders from  _ you _ ?” Kidd snarls. Law stares at him levelly.

“Die, then.”

Marco steadies himself behind a tree. He’s nearly crossed over the midway mark. A slight rustle in a nearby bush to his left catches his attention, and he turns just in time to see Zoro dashing into their territory.

“There you are,” Marco grins, slinking after the other man. Zoro is a blur of green, but when Marco shoots at the man, Zoro looks over his shoulder before swerving to avoid the paint..

A  _ splat _ comes from another direction, and Zoro’s shirt is smeared with yellow. Zoro’s head whips over, to see a spot of pink ducking into a bush.

“Uh oh,” Marco notices, picking up his gun just as Zoro does his. Marco curls his finger around the trigger, when something crashes into him from the back. “ _ Ugh _ !”

“Got ya!” Luffy’s grin is wide. Marco touches his fingers to his back, and the fabric is wet with green paint. 

Another  _ splat _ resounds from the other side of Luffy. “Got ya,” Sanji smirks, as Luffy’s shirt is doused in yellow. 

“ _ Shit _ , I lost that boy!” Zoro curses when Coby is nowhere to be seen. 

“You should run back into the bushes before you get hit,  _ marimo _ ,” Sanji waves his gun a little in the air. Zoro grunts, holding his gun up.

“Speak for yourself,” Zoro says.

Sanji begins to smile, only for his smirk to falter as something hits him from the back. He turns, his shirt plastered to his back with green paint, and his eyes bulge. 

“You ought to be more cautious,” Law smiles, and then raises his gun and shoots at Marco, who’s ducking behind a tree. He misses, but barely; Marco flees behind an adjacent wall, and Zoro sprints off after him.

Kidd leans against a wall, his smile tightening into a smirk. “Who the hell does he think he is, giving me orders…” He raises his gun to Law’s back.

“Do not even try, Eustass,” Law says without even turning around. From the other direction, though, a gun peeks out from behind a bush, and it fires right at Law’s back. Law shifts his weight to his other foot, and Kidd watches as the paintball barrels right into Law’s thigh. “Eustass!” Law spins around, snarling. But when he registers the yellow paint on his jeans, he frowns.

“Wasn’t — me!” Kidd returns as he rushes towards the bush where the paintball had hurtled from. Coby turns, wide-eyed, to face him.

“Kidd! I — I…” Coby stutters. His gaze flickers, to somewhere behind Kidd. 

“Eustass, behind you!” Law warns.

“ _ Go _ !” Marco yells from his hiding spot.

Wyper, who has been slinking from tree to tree, his gun discarded since the beginning, is only inches away from the red flag. Kidd whirls around and begins to shoot, but his aim is shaky. Green paint splatters after Wyper, and another sphere of paint crashes into Wyper’s shoulder just as his fingers curl around the flag and pulls it out from its post.

“Yes!” Coby says, when a loud cackle from the other end catches his attention.

“We did it!” Luffy screeches. In his hand is a blue flag. “We did it!”

“Um…” Coby’s gaze darts between the red flag in Wyper’s hand, and the blue flag in Luffy’s. “Wait, so… who’s the victor?”

The air horn blares once more, and Franky enters the field. “Well, that was a  _ fantastic  _ turn of events, don’t you think?” He turns around, where Sabo and… 

“Ace?” Luffy bounds up to them. “Ooh, when did you get here?”

“Ages ago,” Sabo answers for the other brother. “We were surprised. When did you learn to be that sneaky, Luffy?”

Marco gives Ace an awkward smile, and Ace just laughs. “It’s fine, Marco. You didn’t know Luffy was doing this. And I know you’re a good guy — if any of my exes had to be on this show, best for it to be you.”

“Rather than Smoker, huh?” Sabo teases, and Ace jabs at Sabo’s ribs with his elbow. 

“So um… Franky,” Coby pipes up. “What’s the result? Who’s the winner?”

“Well, I gotta say, this one was a surprise,” Franky states.

_ “Don’t tell me…” _ Nami glances at Robin.

“It’s us, isn’t it? We won, haven’t we?” Luffy bounces on his feet. “Franky, come on, tell us already!”

“It’s a  _ super _ miracle, is what it is!” Franky says. “It’s a tie!”

“A tie?” Wyper echoes. 

_ “A tie,” _ Nami narrows her eyes while Robin chuckles.  _ “Tell me to never bet against you ever again.” _

“It really was,” Ace nods. “We saw it. Literally at the same time.”

“How did… what?” Sanji spins towards Luffy. “When the hell did you get there?”

“When I shot Pineapple-Head!!” Luffy grins. “It was a strategy!”

“What strategy?” Wyper frowns. “You don’t do strategies.”

“Nope, I don’t,” Luffy agrees. “But Torao does! He was all,  _ they are gonna be sneaky because everyone in our group is attackers _ , and I was like yeah! That’s what’s fun about it!”

Law sighs. “Basically, I knew you’d assume that out of everyone in the team, I’d be the one stealing the flag — so I thought to use the most  _ inconspicuous _ person to steal it instead. Luffy was sent to shoot one of you and throw you off, and when your attention was scattered, he’d circle around and grab the flag.” Before anyone could respond, Law raises a hand. “Trust me, I’m surprised the operation went as well as it did.”

“Meanwhile it appears that Coby made himself the honey trap for Kidd,” Marco teases. Coby opens his mouth to protest.

“No, that wasn’t it, I — ”

“So your wide-eyed innocuous look when I arrived was just for nothing, then?” Kidd cocks his brow up. “Forgot for a sec there that you were a police cadet; I’m an idiot,” he shakes his head.

“Who’s the winner then?” Zoro asks. “If both sides captured the flag at the same time?”

“Well,” Franky says, “all of you are winners! That’s such a… a great result!” he turns away for a second, dabbing at the corners of his eyes with a napkin. “In my five years of working here, I’ve never come across such an outcome!!”

“Uh…” Wyper stares at the blue-haired man as the man begins to wail loudly about the power of friendship. “Well. It was a good game,” Wyper says, moving to shake Luffy’s hand.

“Yeah! I didn’t expect you to take the flag the same time I did!” Luffy agrees. “That was so much fun! We should do this again sometime!”

“Perhaps with a different instructor,” Law eyes Franky warily. 

“You were right, Luffy  _ does _ have weird friends,” Kidd comments as Zoro smirks.

“There’s weirder.”

“Shall we get something to eat?” Marco asks. “It’s the perfect time for lunch, and I gotta say, I’m getting hungry.”

“Ooh, yeah!” Ace pipes up. “And then Sabo and I can grill —” at Sabo’s glare, Ace coughs, “Um, I mean… we can get to know all of you better!”

“Don’t worry,” Marco says as he walks up next to Law. “They are overprotective older brothers, but they’re not too scary. Uh… I think.”

“Why are you telling me this?” Law glances over at Marco.

“Well, you’re taking their little brother on a date —”

“In that case, they should be more concerned over  _ my _ well-being.”

“I heard there’s this really cool street market nearby with lots of great food! We should go there!” Luffy suggests.

EXT - STREET MARKET

“Wow, look at the cuts of meat,” Ace pores at the selection. “This is really good.”

“You don’t even need to add much and it’ll still taste wonderful grilled,” Sanji agrees. “So you’re Ace? We’ve heard your name plenty of times in the apartment.”

“Have you?” Ace grins. “Yeah, I heard there’s another MMA fighter here…” He turns around, glancing at the rest of the gang trailing behind them. “Yeah, that guy, right?” He indicates Wyper. “I’ve seen him before; he’s pretty good.”

“Must be tough, having a little brother like Luffy,” Sanji says, just as he hears Luffy shout greetings across the street. Sanji shakes his head. “How many friends does he have?”

“Don’t know, but don’t bother counting,” Ace chuckles. “He meets people wherever he goes. If this was a smaller city, he’d have made friends with everyone by now. Luffy met Franky — the paintball instructor — in university, I think.”

“University?” Sanji repeats. “I can’t imagine Luffy going to university.”

“Oh no, he doesn’t,” Ace clarifies. “Sabo did, though, and Luffy was just there to visit. Of course, while he was waiting for Sabo to finish his classes, he went around and made friends with just about anyone he came across. So he knows Franky, who’s doing his doctorate degree in… uh, I don’t remember what; and then he knows Brook, who’s a professor. Crocodile, another professor — pretty sure Luffy forced his friendship on this one, though; and a bunch of other people.”

“It’s amazing how friendly Luffy is,” Sanji acknowledges. “I’m not even surprised by that list of friends. But you must worry, considering how much he seems to put himself out there without regard for safety or his own well-being.”

“Nah,” Ace waves his hand a little. “Luffy’s not the sharpest tool in the shed, but he’s still a smart kid. He’s the most instinctive person I know — in fact, I’d trust his newfound friends more than I’d trust some of the acquaintances I know. Luffy has a good eye for people, even if it seems like he’s just making friends with everyone who even glances in his direction. So I’m not worried about him with regards to this.” Ace tilts his head and considers Sanji. “You, for instance, seem like a decent fellow.”

“The most decent one you’ll see here,” Sanji replies easily. “Well, I guess Coby’s pretty good too — but the rest don’t necessarily come across as rainbows and sunshine.”

“None of Luffy’s friends are  _ rainbows and sunshine _ ,” Ace chortles. “Alright, fine, he has this high schooler friend called Chopper and that boy is cute as  _ heck _ , but otherwise — his friends are all riots.”

“Then what are you doing here, if not to watch out for his well-being?”

“Well…” Ace turns to look at Luffy, who is simultaneously eating a fat burrito while laughing about something with Kidd, who’s halfway through his food. “He has a good eye for people, but I don’t know about romance. His date with Wyper seemed to have gone well, but his next date will be with… uh, Torao, is it?” He glances back at Sanji.

Sanji chuckles. “Yeah, yeah. Torao — Law. That grumpy guy way at the back,” Sanji jabs his thumb over his shoulder, “with tattoos over his fingers and arms.”

“I heard you’ve gone out with him before,” Ace probes. “How was it?”

Sanji takes a moment to answer as he rakes his gaze over the pushcarts of food lined up on either side of him. “He’s nice, I think. Not easy to get to know, and can be a jerk to strangers, but he can be nice once he decides to be so. But you shouldn’t just hear from me — hey, Kidd!” Sanji calls. Kidd looks up from his food, Luffy having moved from chatting to him, to laughing with Zoro. 

“What?” he answers, finishing the last of his burrito. He dumps the wrapper into a nearby bin as he walks up to Sanji and Ace. 

“What do you think about Law?”

“Law? Huh, that fucking bastard,” Kidd says. Ace cocks an eyebrow up, though a smile still dances on his lips. “Annoying as shit. Rude as fuck, too.”

“Says the one who’s spouting vulgarities every other word,” Sanji nods to Ace. “So you should be able to tell just how rude Law can get, too.”

“But once you call him out on his bullshit, he gets a little better,” Kidd continues. “Not that many people would. And only if he bothers to do so. He’s a piece of shit, that one. All that  _ holier-than-thou _ attitude that you’d expect from some pretentious doctor.”

“And who are  _ you _ going on a date with?” Ace asks, and Kidd laughs.

“Your ex,” he answers. 

“Huh.” Ace pauses. “Yeah, Marco will be able to handle you no problem. You don’t even need to lose the attitude with him.”

“I don’t need advice from an ex,” Kidd waves his hand. “You’re an  _ ex _ for a reason.”

“Well,” Ace grins. “You’re not wrong.”

“Guys!” Luffy’s voice cuts through their conversation, and they turn to see Luffy beaming up at all of them. “I just remembered! I won — so we have a YouTube video to make!”

“You didn’t win, it was a tie,” Sanji clarifies.

“What’s the difference? If I won, half of you are supposed to join me in the YouTube video! And since that half  _ also _ won, the rest of you also have to join me in that YouTube video! So we’ll all be in a YouTube video together!”

“How did he come to this conclusion? Since when was Luffy smart?” Kidd comments. 

“It’s Sabo’s doing,” Ace answers, grinning as his brother winks at him from behind Luffy. “So Luffy!” Ace calls out. “What are you planning on doing with this video?”

“Hmm… mmm….” Luffy scrunches his face up. “Ah! I know!” He slams his fist into his open palm. “Since we’re here on a reality TV show, we could do like… like a trailer, or teaser video or something! Like an introduction video!”

“Like… The Bachelor?” Sabo comments, and Luffy whirls around.

“Ooh yes, maybe! But no interviews — that’s boring! We’ll just do it here, in this market! And someone — another person — can give a voiceover introduction!” 

“So,” Ace’s lips grow wide, “if, say, Sanji was being introduced, we could get someone else to introduce him — for example Kidd?”

“Yeah! That’ll be so fun!” Luffy cackles. “Ace, you can be the main camera! Sabo, you’ll be the second camera!” 

“Already on it,” Sabo takes out his phone and adjusts the setting. 

_ “Oh my god,” _ Nami claps her hands together.  _ “I love this idea. Free publicity for the show!” _

_ “And Luffy really is a rather popular YouTuber,”  _ Robin nods.  _ “This will… hopefully bode well for our ratings.” _

_ “I’m more interested to see how each person will introduce another,” _ Reiju smiles.  _ “Luffy really has the best ideas, doesn’t he?” _

“Hey, hey, we haven’t exactly agreed to this,” Wyper says as Sabo approaches him with his phone. 

“You did when you won,” Sabo smirks, and Wyper knits his brows together.

“Yeah, but not the  _ exact _ stipulations of what the video would entail — ”

“The MMA fighter is going to go on a YouTube dating reality video,” Ace teases, bringing his phone up to film Wyper as well.

“Shut up! The  _ kendo instructor _ is also going on YouTube!” Wyper grabs Zoro by the sleeve and yanks him to the front of the two cameras.

“I didn’t agree to this either!” Zoro says, glaring into the cameras. “Get those cameras off me!”

“Look at them,” Sabo coos to Ace. “Already spitting out the typical lines.”

“Already celebrities,” Ace agrees.

“I told you,” Marco says to Coby, who’s watching everything with wide eyes. “They are chaos. Not just embodied, mind you —  _ actual _ , literal chaos.”

“No,” Law says, the moment Ace approaches with his camera.

“Aw, give us a smile!” Ace says, shifting the camera around.

“From what I know,” Law stares down at the other man. “You’d likely need us to sign a contract, don’t you? I haven’t done any such thing.”

“Well, technically,” Sabo sidles up to Law’s other side, holding his camera up to film Law’s profile. Law turns away from the second camera, only to once again be faced by Ace’s main camera. “You agreed to participate in this reality TV show and everything that’s connected to it — and we’re still in the midst of filming this reality show. And Luffy’s video is in conjunction with the reality show anyway. So if you think about it —  _ yes _ , you have signed the contract.”

“Luffy’s video would have been an  _ additional _ clause which I —”

“Oh, shut up already,” Kidd pipes up. “We agreed to the conditions when we decided to play paintball. Verbal contract and all that,” Kidd waves his hand dismissively. “Let’s just do it already. Sounds like fun, anyway.”

“Okay, okay, let’s begin!” Luffy peers at Ace’s screen, and then Sabo. “That looks good! Okay, so… we shall start with…” he rakes his gaze over the rest of them. “Coby! Coby will be the first one up!”

“W-What?” Coby blinks. Marco pats him on the back.

“Good luck, kiddo.”

Ace rushes to Coby’s side, while Sabo takes the pink-haired man’s profile. 

“And the person who will be introducing Coby is… Pineapple-Head!!” Luffy announces. Marco points at himself, and Luffy bobs his head enthusiastically. “Okay, let’s go!”

“Uh… um… what do I do?” Coby asks, looking around wildly. 

“Just be yourself!” Luffy instructs. “Marco, stand beside Ace so your voice is captured in the introduction. Ace, Sabo?”

“Camera’s rolling,” Ace says.

“Same here,” Sabo says.

“Okay. And… action!” Luffy claps his hand together like a slate. Coby just stares at Luffy, still wide-eyed and confused, while Sabo begins filming his profile, occasionally moving the camera to film close-ups of his hand and large eyes and pink hair. “Pineapple-Head!!” Luffy says, gesturing for him to begin.

“Okay, uh…” Marco glances at Coby. “This is Coby. He is twenty this year.” Kidd mimes a yawn, and Marco catches his action. The older man frowns. “The soft cotton-candy pink of his hair belies his actual personality — a strong, determined, police officer-in-training.”

Coby blinks at the camera again. “Am… Am I supposed to do something here?” Luffy just nods his head furiously, and Coby blinks again “Um… okay…” He lifts his hand up to the camera and gives a wave.

Laughter slips out from Marco’s mouth. Sanji shakes his head, and Zoro chortles.

_ “Oh, Coby…”  _ Vivi says.

“Uh…” Marco frowns. “I don’t know how to end this,” he whispers to Ace.

“Just give some typical one-liner closing,” Ace answers. “It can be as cliche as you want! We’re not aiming for originality here!”

“Okay. Well,” Marco pauses for a moment, finding the right words. “Will the young kiddo find his true love in this show… or will he be smothered by the ages of everyone else around him?”

“That’s you!” Kidd says. “The oldest is  _ you _ !”

“And… cut!” Luffy slaps his hand again. “That was great! Okay, so now we’ll film Pineapple-Head,” Luffy instructs. His brothers shift their cameras immediately onto Marco, who scratches at the back of his neck. “And the person giving the voiceover will be Jaggy!” Luffy decides.

“Heck yeah,” Kidd says, walking up to Ace. 

“Glad to see you’ve resigned yourself to that name,” Zoro comments. His words effectively wipe the smile off Kidd’s face.

“You’d better not start using it too,” he warns, before Ace laughs.

“Does it matter? Come on, Marco’s going to become ashes soon if you leave him waiting any longer.”

“Is that a quip on my age or on my old nickname?” Marco raises a brow.

“I don’t… I don’t even know what I just did,” Coby admits as he stands beside Sanji. “What just happened?”

“You did alright, considering the circumstances,” Sanji consoles. “Well. All I can say is… Luffy is a popular YouTuber for a reason, so… let’s just hope everything comes out well.”

“And action!” Luffy claps his hands together. 

Kidd cackles at Marco, who is staring blandly into the camera, dark circles and heavy lids stark against his brightly-lit face. “So you know old,” Kidd says. “Think older.” Ace zooms into the lines on Marco’s face. “Ol’ guy Marco here is Old.”

Marco smiles a little, shaking his head.

“And he is a vet or something.”

“I’m an Associate Professor in the university,” Marco corrects. 

“And so you know only someone who’s hella old can be a Professor, so that’s how old he is.”

“Yeah,” Luffy pipes up. “Brook is  _ ancient _ .”

“If even Cthulhu can search for romance, so can all of you kids out there. Let’s hope he finds love — before he turns into sawdust.”

“Nice! Cut!” Luffy announces. 

“You do remember you’re going on a date with Marco next?” Wyper says.

“Never said I don’t like older men,” Kidd returns, grinning.

“Jaggy, you’re the up!” Luffy says. “And we’ll have Sanji doing the voiceover!”

INT - TV STUDIO

“Okay, so before the audience goes all  _ booo we want to see the YouTube video _ ,” Nami holds up a hand, “We’re going to play the video in its entirety after this episode. Right now, we have far more important things to do.”

“I don’t know what to think of today’s episode,” Vivi frowns. “Everyone’s made friends with everyone and they are mostly just mingling with one another. It’s difficult to get a sense of signals from this.”

“Let’s start with the easiest, as usual — Law,” Nami says. “Obviously he’s still chasing after Sanji.”

“They did go out together in the morning,” Reiju agrees. “Law took Sanji up on his offer.”

“Law would likely still message Sanji,” Tashigi agrees. “Though once again, it’s a little less clear on Sanji’s end. Law said something along the lines of preferring to date Zoro rather than Luffy, didn’t he? Sanji might misunderstand — that as long as it’s  _ not _ Luffy, Law would be alright with it.”

“So let’s just draw Law’s line to Sanji first,” Nami says, indicating a line from Law to Sanji on the whiteboard, “And once again, the big headache: Sanji.”

“Sanji definitely likes Law,” Vivi says. “Remember, back at the staircase? He tugged on Law’s sleeve to get him to go upstairs. That was  _ adorable _ . And Law did ask Sanji if he wanted to go out again sometime, after their second dates!”

“You must also remember that Sanji did not give a firm answer,” Robin pipes up. “It could certainly be Sanji simply teasing Law, but I believe that Sanji’s ‘ _ maybe _ ’ might indicate more than it seems. He’s still not entirely certain about Law — his signals still might change.”

“And Law was the one who had shot Sanji in the paintball game,” Nami points out. “Of course, it’s just a game and Sanji might think nothing of it — but compare that to Coby’s performance in the competition.”

“It was a surprise,” Hancock agrees, nodding her head. “Coby was — dare I say it — charismatic, at the very least. We’ve never seen him take charge of anything before.”

“Could that have been enough for Sanji to take a stronger interest in him?” Tashigi questions. “Sanji didn’t really indicate anything  _ outwardly _ , but perhaps…”

“It might be enough for him to be intrigued,” Reiju considers, “but not yet enough for Sanji to actually send a message to Coby.”

“Yeah,” Nami nods. “Sanji and Coby haven’t really interacted much at all this episode, especially if you compare it to Sanji and Law’s interaction at the beginning. We know that Sanji’s still uncertain — but I think he’d still message Law at this time.”

“Yeah, I agree,” Vivi nods and Nami draws an arrow from Sanji back to Law. “Who shall we look at next — Coby?”

“Coby’s been sending his messages to Sanji all this time,” Nami says. “Would there be a change? Kidd? Or — Marco?”

“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but Marco and Coby could be so cute together!” Vivi laughs. “I mean… surely I’m not the only one who thinks that?”

“There’s something endearing about their interactions, indeed,” Reiju answers. “But certainly not enough to switch Coby’s focus on Sanji.”

Nami nods and draws an arrow from Coby to Sanji. 

“Did you see Kidd though? He was all,  _ Coby used his wide innocent eyes to catch me off-guard _ ,” Vivi giggles. “Kidd is obviously still interested in Coby!”

“Kidd is interested in anyone who’s good-looking. In his own words, he’s ‘ _ a slut for looks’ _ ,” Nami grins. “Gotta say, can’t disagree there.”

“Out of everyone so far, he still does show the most interest to Coby,” Tashigi notes. “He enjoys teasing Law, but that seems to be more friendly than anything. He teases Marco too, and surprisingly he just seems to get along well with everyone in the house. The only person he seems to take more notice of is Coby.”

“Unless Marco does something to change his mind, I think he’d still message Coby,” Reiju agrees.

“Wow, we are all agreeing with one another today, huh?” Nami says, drawing the line from Kidd to Coby. 

“There are not many signals to read today!” Vivi answers. “That’s the problem. So we can only go on clues from the previous weeks.”

“Now we’ve reached the sticky part,” Nami says, glancing at the rest of the names. “Zoro, Wyper, Luffy, and Marco. The ones who still have no clear match. Will Zoro send a random message to Law again? Would Luffy once again demand for Kidd to treat him to a meal? Who even knows at this point?”

“Zoro seems like he’s just playing the field,” Tashigi comments. “Taking his sweet time to send messages to anyone he can. From today, I have no idea who he’d message.”

“Zoro and Wyper are friendly, as usual,” Vivi says. “Marco shot Zoro in paintball; Zoro ran after Coby afterwards…”

“Zoro is still teasing Sanji…” Nami adds. “No interaction with Law yet, but he might still message the guy…”

“She’s still bitter about that,” Vivi whispers to no one in particular. “But well.. I guess… shall we look at Marco first? Marco might be a little easier. He’s been mainly talking to Coby all this while, so…”

“Would he message Luffy?” Tashigi suggests. “Considering that he and Ace used to date? Not as a signal, exactly, but just a message to clear things up?”

“I highly doubt it,” Hancock answers. “Neither Marco nor Luffy seem to care too much about that history.”

“Marco and Kidd?” Reiju tries. “Kidd has been teasing Marco quite a bit.”

“Not sufficient enough to warrant a signal on Marco’s part, I would think,” Robin says. “It’d seem more likely for him to message Coby, with whom he has built a stronger connection.”

“I agree,” Hancock says, and Nami nods.

“Alright then.” She draws an arrow linking Marco to Coby. “Next… Wyper?”

“Zoro?” Vivi says. “There’s really no one else yet at the moment. Wyper hasn’t really made a connection with Coby yet either — unless he does so in the next date.”

“Precisely. Wyper has been mostly keeping to Zoro so far,” Reiju agrees. “I don’t think he’d message someone else just yet.”

Nami draws a link from Wyper to Zoro.

“Alright, now our two headaches: Zoro and Luffy.” Nami sighs. “Zoro… I’d say Wyper, if not for the fact that he completely threw us off in the last round of messaging.”

“He really hasn’t interacted with Law at all, though,” Vivi presses her lips together. “Marco did shoot at him, but I don’t know if that would do anything…”

“He has been teasing Sanji,” Tashigi says. “But I don’t think he’d message Sanji. Especially not after what he had said to Wyper before, remember: that he’d jump into the ocean if he fell for Sanji.”

“Wyper or Law?” Nami asks.

“Wyper…?” Vivi tries.

“We’ll just put that once again and see if we get it,” Nami says, linking the two together. “And now, another headache: Luffy.”

“Has Luffy even done anything today aside from throwing them into a multitude of random activities?” Reiju smiles a little. 

“I like that brat,” Nami says, “but he makes our decisions  _ so difficult _ here.”

“What struck me most,” Tashigi points out, “was how Luffy apparently took instructions from Law and actually completed them.”

“Yeah…” Vivi considers it for a moment. “Yeah, that caught my attention too! Even Law was surprised that Luffy could actually listen to his instruction and bring them to victory!”

“Judging from the way Luffy has been thus far, he might message Law just because of this,” Reiju agrees. “He hasn’t really interacted very significantly with anyone else; and this victory obviously meant a lot to him because it means that he can film his video — which he has wanted to do for a while, hasn’t he?”

“Luffy to Law?” Nami looks at everyone.

“Luffy to Law,” Robin affirms, and Nami draws the final line.

“Alright,” she claps her hands together. “I don’t know if we’ve got a winning combination here…” Nami’s gaze flits to Zoro’s love line and she sighs, “but I’m slightly confident with this. Let’s hope that we get our crystals next week — and with that being said…”

“It’s time for the video,” Vivi grins.

EXT - STREET MARKET 

Fingers, tightly clenched at his sides. A pair of loafers, scuffing against the ground. The vivid green of a storefront, blurred in the background. 

A pair of wide eyes, the neon catching in his irises. 

“This is Coby. He is twenty this year.” 

Coby raises his gaze to the camera. He blinks, and then he slowly raises his hand up to give a small wave.

“The soft cotton-candy pink of his hair belies his actual personality —” His strands of pink hair, haloed by a warm light. “— a strong, determined, police officer-in-training.” His fists clench tighter; he lifts his chin up.

“Will the young kiddo find his true love in this show… or will he be smothered by the ages of everyone else around him?”

A shot of Coby’s back view as he walks away. Marco’s head of blond peeks out in the corner of the shot, before the camera turns to face Marco.

“So you know old.” Marco gives a resigned smile, the bags under his eyes darker than ever. “Think older.” The camera zooms in onto the lines on Marco’s face, the wrinkles by the sides of his eyes. “Ol’ guy Marco here is Old.”

Marco smiles a little, shaking his head.

“And he is a vet or something.”

Marco raises his brow and addresses someone off-camera, “I’m an Associate Professor in the university.”

“Only someone who’s hella old can be a Professor, so that’s how old he is.”

His head of blond, a messy nest on his scalp. The spectacles tucked in his pocket, catching the light.

“If even Cthulhu can search for romance, so can all of you kids out there. Let’s hope he finds love — before he turns into sawdust.”

A crimson smile peels wide on Kidd’s lips, and then he laughs. Marco watches from the side, shaking his head, a tired smile still hanging on his mouth. 

“Think of motorbikes,” Sanji’s voice comes in. “And bright hair, and black clothes.” Kidd cocks an eyebrow. His leather jacket glistens, almost like a raven’s wing under the sun. “That’s not Avril Lavigne — that’s Kidd.”

Kidd snarls. He walks up to the camera, the metal of his lip ring blinding. 

“He spends an hour in front of the mirror doing his hair…”

The red tips of his hair dance in the breeze like fire. “I do  _ not _ ,” comes his voice as the camera shakes.

“And makes little critters out of wood.” The camera steadies onto Kidd’s heavy boots. “Do you really want to date a 2000s rock star?”

Kidd storms up to Sanji, who holds both his hands up with a wide grin on his face. People are laughing in the background. Kidd rolls his eyes and shoves the camera away, and the camera focuses on Sanji.

“He has too many good points to list,” Law’s voice enters. Sanji looks away slightly, and he flusters to take out his cigarette. The flames from the lighter illuminate his face for an instant, before the end of his cigarette glows red. 

Sanji takes a deep breath. He lets a plume of smoke out, and the smoke curls before his face. 

“Say more!” Luffy probes.

“Ironic how he says there’s too many to list, and then goes on to not list anything,” Zoro’s voice chimes in. Sanji spins around, his brows furrowing.

“Shut up,  _ marimo _ !”

“Sanji’s not one to miss,” Law adds. Sanji turns to his left, where Law watches him with a smirk. A shaky shot of a pair of sandals.

“I’d really rather not,” Law’s voice says.

“No, do it! Do it!” Luffy says. 

Law’s dark hair. His gold earrings, clinking as the breeze caresses his ear. “Torao is cool!” His fingers, spelling the word ‘DEATH’. “He fed me food once and helped us win the competition! That’s how we got this video in the first place!” Ace, grinning and waving at the camera; Sabo, throwing his head back in laughter.

“He’s always frowning, though.” Law’s eyes, dark. His lips, downturned. “We gotta help him turn his frown upside-down!”

The camera turns upside-down. Law shoots a flipped-over middle finger, and then turns his back onto the camera.

“You know when there’s an earthquake,” Wyper’s voice comes in as Luffy’s face bursts onto the screen, his brows pulled together and his eyes wide as he inspects something, “and you just want to leave, but you can’t?”

“And they tell you to hide under the table,” Luffy, apparently pleased with what he’s found, grins wide at the camera, his face far too close to the lens to be in focus. “But everytime you try to, the earth shakes and you can’t?”

Luffy hops a few steps back, cackling. He makes funny faces, dances like a monkey, and throughout everything his iconic cackle forms the background to his video. 

“That’s Luffy,” Wyper sighs. “Unfortunately, it seems — whatever Luffy wants, he gets.”

“And,” Zoro’s voice is a deep rumble. “Wyper is a MMA fighter — but apparently now he’s also an influencer.”

“Shut up,” Wyper quips, rolling his eyes. His braid is long against his back, and his skin is dark and well-tanned under the light.

“He’s that guy who likes to appear menacing.” Wyper narrows his eyes. The green ink curls around his left temple; his arm is adorned with similar tattoos. “But he can’t even survive a swim in the ocean.”

Wyper takes a step forward. “It was in the middle of  _ winter _ !” His muscles are taut. His lips tug downwards. 

“Seriously. Do y’all really want to date a guy like him?”

Wyper reaches out, but Zoro ducks before Wyper manages to grab onto Zoro.

“Um… this is Zoro,” Coby’s voice enters. Zoro takes a few steps back, still dodging Wyper’s advances. His gold earrings dance as he moves; his hair is barely green under the light. “He practices  _ kendo _ , and he… does not care what others think of him.”

Zoro’s boots are steady on the ground. He stares straight into the camera — and smiles. “He is strong and focused, and when he knows what he wants, he will go and get it.”

The camera pulls out, to a wide shot of all of them in the street market. Luffy claps and cheers Wyper on as Wyper attempts to tackle Zoro, while Sanji makes snide remarks under his breath. Marco laughs, Law crosses his arms and stands away from them; Kidd gives Wyper advice on where to throw his punches, while Coby watches them warily.

“I’m so sorry,” Coby apologises to the stallowners, who are either watching with amusement or with concern. Some have their phones held up to record the sight, while others have their phones pressed up against their ears. “Please don’t call the police! They’re just having fun!”

“Aren’t  _ you _ the police?” Luffy pipes up, and Coby shakes his head frantically.

“No, no, I’m not —”

“You should stop them,” Marco adds, and Coby whips his head over to meet the older man’s stare.

“I… how can I do that? That’s a MMA fighter and a  _ kendo  _ instructor!” 

The moment Wyper successfully pins Zoro down to the ground, the video ends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i feel like this story is turning out to be more friendship-centric than romance -- which, tbh, is what i'm more used to writing. steering this towards the romance part has been DIFFICULT, but i'm determined to make it go there, especially from the next dates on! we want drama -- I want drama!! -- and i'm really hoping to get there! 
> 
> i'm also hoping to introduce more of their friends into the show. so far we've had conis and killer and ace and sabo (and a cameo from usopp?), let me know who else you're looking forward to seeing on the show! i have my eye on cora-san someday because i love that man, but that's all i have in mind for now!
> 
> once again luffy is full of shenanigans but hope y'all have enjoyed it anyway! happy chinese new year in advance!!


End file.
